Baggage & Buttons

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘Yes, sorry clinic saying my throat swab was clear.’

  ‘Bodes well for his results. You still on?’

  ‘Yes, but I think it’s a shorter one this month, after loads of clots and bleeding there was hardly anything this morning. God I need it to be over, I need sex again Lexi, so badly.’

  ‘Tell me about it,’ she sighed.

  ‘Are you really feeling ok about this appointment? It’s not too late to change your mind.’

  ‘And do what? Keep it?’

  ‘If you wanted to yes, or I’m sure there are lots of people out there desperate to adopt.’

  ‘Are you saying you think I’m making a mistake?’ she asked, looking at me concerned.

  ‘I’m not saying anything Lex. It’s got to be your decision and whatever feels right for you, don’t let anyone else influence you, not even me. I just want you to know that I’ll be here for you whatever you decide to do and that if you did want to change your mind it’s not too late, I’ll help you either way.’

  ‘I know,’ she sighed. ‘Thank you. You know I always believed people having abortions were selfish and it was a horrible thing to do, but now I’m pregnant … I guess I just see it differently now I’m in this situation. I’m not sure I could go through with a pregnancy, give birth and then hand a baby, my baby, over to someone else. Then what would I do if I had it and found I couldn’t give it up? I’m stuck with it and everything changes and I’m not sure I’m ready for that either.’

  ‘I know it’s not going to be easy whatever you do Lex, I just want you to be clear that I won’t be judgemental or critical whatever decision you make ok? Just be sure it’s what you want. Listen today and get as much advice as possible, you can still change your mind on the day even if you decide to have it done.’

  ‘Thanks, you’re the best,’ she smiled and grabbed my hand squeezing it tightly. ‘Ok according to my phone we should be nearly there.’

  ‘Well this is pretty much where Gabe and I came on Tuesday for the tests.’

  ‘What’s the betting they’re part of the same building? STI’s and unwanted pregnancies, sort of goes hand in hand.’ She was right, the abortion clinic was the next door down to the GUM one. We stood outside for a while, staring at the door and I felt my stomach churning for her, trying to imagine what was going through her mind and squeezed her hand back. ‘Right let’s do this,’ she said with a deep exhalation and we walked in.

  She was called in straight away and jerked her head for me to follow her. I listened carefully as the lady doctor asked why Lexi’d arrived at this decision and then ran through the different types of abortion available to her. I reached over to hold her hand again as she looked slightly baffled at all the options. She agreed to undergo a scan and some STI & blood tests, which I couldn’t accompany her for.

  ‘I’ll go and text Gabe. I’ll wait for you in reception Lex ok?’ I gave her hand a squeeze and kissed her on the top of her head and headed out. It was so much information to take in, my head was frazzled and knowing Lexi most of it would have gone in one ear and out of the other. I grabbed a few leaflets off the reception counter and shoved them in my bag so she could look at them later. I went outside to get some air and spotted a bench further up the street and sat down and sent a text to Gabe.

  Appointment’s gone ok, she seems happy if not a bit dazed by it all. Running some tests on her now. I had a call from the clinic with my results, I’m fine. You heard back? M x

  It took a few minutes for him to reply.

  Glad you’re getting on ok, she needs to be happy with the decision. Not had my results, but very happy you’re ok, though it was stupid letting you blow me again. If there’s something wrong with me you’ll need to be tested again. G x

  If there was, I think I’d already have symptoms. Hope you hear soon. See you later. Your M x

  I love you my M. Your G xxx

  I went on the internet and looked up dad’s property company and rang the main office number and asked to be put through to Christine. When I was asked who was calling I figured it was easier to say Mia Kensington, than try and explain our complicated relationship to the squeaky voiced girl at the other end of the phone. I was left on hold for a minute and listened to some god awful music, who chose these things and did they ever listen to see how bad it sounded?

  ‘Mia?’ came a well-spoken female voice.

  ‘Hello Christine, how are you?’ She was a nice woman, in her late thirties. I’d actually spent more time with her than dad on the occasional weekend visit to see him. Georgie and I would often get palmed off on her on the Saturday and she would take us shopping with his credit card while he was doing … whatever was more important than spending time with his two daughters, who he’d asked to have in the first place.

  ‘Good thank you, Richard keeps me very busy still.’

  ‘I can imagine,’ I nodded. Given the man couldn’t even write his own envelopes, the mind boggled at what else he had her doing.

  ‘What can I do for you Mia?’

  ‘Dad didn’t ask you?’

  ‘Ask me what?’

  ‘I want to fix up a date to meet him the first week of the Christmas holidays and he said he’d get you to check his diary and book something in.’

  ‘O yes sorry, of course. I got bogged down with a project for him, it slipped my mind.’

  Wow she was diplomatic. She was so efficient no way she’d have forgotten. It was obvious he hadn’t asked her and she’d rather take the fall than blame the “wonderful” Richard Kensington, property tycoon extraordinaire. I wondered how he inspired such loyalty in his staff. Maybe she was on a fantastic salary, or maybe it was that he just scared the shit out of her, he was seriously intimidating. I frowned as I wondered if he’d slept with her , I’d got the impression he was a bit of a ladies man, he was very attractive and I knew mum still had a thing for him, despite how badly he’d treated her.

  ‘Even just a few hours for lunch with him would be fine Christine. I know he’s a busy man. I’m happy to come to London if he can’t make it up to see me at home.’

  ‘He hasn’t actually checked in on his hotel there for a while, so let me see when I can book him a stay and combine that with a lunch date with you. I’ll just put you on hold for a moment.’

  I sat listening to the bloody awful music again, I’d forgotten dad owned a boutique hotel in Toddlesworth, my home town. Mum said it had been one of his first property purchases when he started building his business up when they first meet. I’d only been there the once to see him, when he’d wanted a visit near Christmas when I was about 13 and mum had refused for us to go to London to see him, so he stayed there overnight so we could spend an afternoon with him.

  ‘Mia?’

  ‘Yes I’m still here.’

  ‘He can do lunch on Monday 16th. Can you meet him at the hotel for one o’clock?’

  ‘Yes that would be fine.’

  ‘I’ll book a table for the three of you somewhere.’

  ‘The three of us?’ I asked, confused.

  ‘I’m sorry isn’t Georgina coming too?’

  ‘No, it was just going to be me.’

  ‘O ok,’ she sounded surprised. ‘Well consider it booked.’

  ‘Thanks Christine, bye.’

  No wonder she sounded surprised, I’d never been on my own with him before, let alone asking to arrange a meeting. I’d always been quite resistant when she’d rung me in the past to try and fix something up. I took a deep breath, I had over two months to prepare for the awkwardness that would be that meeting, today I needed to focus on Lexi and her problems. I went back to the clinic and took a seat in the waiting room and started reading the leaflets I’d gathered, which lowered my mood further. Shit this really wasn’t going to be nice for her, no matter how determined she was that it was the right thing to do and she was fine with it all. I decided to set a daily reminder on my phone to make sure I never forgot to take my pill, no way did I want to get pregnant. It seemed to ta
ke forever for her to appear and she nodded to the door and I followed her out.

  ‘God Lexi it’s been ages, are you ok?’

  ‘Sorry you’ve had to wait so long. I’m fine, more than fine actually, I feel good, honestly. I really need coffee though. Thanks so much for coming Mia, it really helped having you there.’

  ‘You’re welcome. So what did they do?’

  ‘I had a scan, which was a bit weird. I’m twelve weeks so they’ve suggested I have the suction method with a local anaesthetic. I’ll need to stay in for a couple of hours and may have some bleeding after. They’ve done all the tests and taken some blood and once they get the results I can book in to have it done. Simple as.’

  ‘You’re really ok then? You’re not just saying that to be brave?’

  ‘Mia. How long have you known me? I’m good. I feel like it’s the right decision and I also feel so much better knowing it’s nearly sorted. I need to get back to being wasted and having sex again, safe sex this time. Christ the questions about my sex life freaked me out and I lived through it.’

  ‘Yes there are a bit personal aren’t they?’ I laughed, as I put my arm through hers.

  ‘The only ones I said no to were intercourse with women and knowingly having sex with an infected person.’

  ‘You’re such a slut,’ I teased.

  ‘You can talk, you’re turning into an utter nympho yourself.’

  ‘You were so right Lex.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘About sex with the right person being so much better than masturbating or vibrators,’ I said smiling.

  ‘Well I should know, I’m the slut after all,’ she grinned. ‘Thanks again for coming with me, I’d have hated being there alone. So what’s the plan for tonight, are you still insisting on this ridiculous outing of yours?’

  ‘Yes and Milo’s in too.’

  ‘Christ. Have you even told Gabe where you’re going? Let alone that Milo’s coming?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I thought you two didn’t lie to each other?’ she asked, giving me a quizzical look.

  ‘It’s not lying Lex. He’s not asked me what I’m doing tonight, not since I originally told him about my gym date with Milo. If he does ask then of course I’ll tell him, but I’m not volunteering it.’

  ‘You’re skating on thin ice Missy.’

  ‘Come on Lex, it’s not lying, but surely no one in a relationship tells their partner their every move each day.’

  ‘No one in a normal relationship Mia, but Gabe isn’t exactly normal is he? He’s a control freak extraordinaire who’s crazy about you. Just saying, it’s your funeral if he finds out.’ She was right, of course I knew she was right. Gabe wasn’t your average boyfriend, but all the more reason to start as I meant to go on with him. It was unacceptable to expect me to be with him under that tight a leash, he was going to have to learn to chill out a bit, which meant me not bending to his every demand from the start.

  ‘Look Milo and I can grab a taxi from the gym after I’ve had a shower and got changed and we’ll swing by and pick you up. Reckon it’ll be about nine, so make sure you’re ready.’

  ‘You could just go with Milo on your own.’

  ‘O yes, now who’s being crazy? Gabe would be over the moon to find out that not only had I gone to a strip club, but I went with the one guy in Westhampton he really seems to hate. You’re coming as my buffer in case he loses it when he finds out.’

  ‘Great as if we haven’t already had our share of arguments, you want to stick me in the middle of this bloody potential minefield.’

  ‘That’s what best friends do Lexi Clarke, do I need to find a new one?’

  ‘You dare. You’re stuck with me now Page,’ she said as she shoved me and made me stumble, so I gasped and shoved her back and started running from her as we both laughed.

  We picked up a Starbucks on way home and when I reminded her to check the mail again she handed me a brown box, which I passed back to her.

  ‘It’s for you. A present from me.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Well let’s get upstairs and drink our coffees while they’re still warm and you can open it and see.’

  I snuggled into the recliner, happy to have a hot latte this time, as she tucked up on the sofa and opened her package and looked back up at me open mouthed.

  ‘So?’ I asked.

  ‘You bought me a vibrator?’ she exclaimed.

  ‘Well you seem so desperate at the moment and if you’re not going to go and sleep with someone I figured this was the next best thing.’

  ‘Does it come with batteries?’

  ‘Yes I ordered some with it, they should be in the box. Why liking the idea are you?’

  ‘Hell yeah. I’m like a cat on heat at the moment.’

  ‘Got over your baby sausage trauma concerns pretty quickly, didn’t you,’ I laughed.

  ‘I’m still convinced it’s not right, but like you said, I don’t remember anything before the age of about three or four so what harm can it really do? And seriously, a woman can’t go 9 months without an orgasm can she?’

  ‘Don’t need penetration for that Lex.’

  ‘Well no, but come on, orgasms without penetration are nowhere near as good as ones with, are they?’

  ‘I wouldn’t say that,’ I shrugged, with a big smile.

  ‘Don’t tell me Mr bloody perfect not only has a huge dick but is good with his fingers and tongue too?’

  I grinned at her, bit my lip and raised my eyebrows. ‘O yeah, soooooo good.’

  ‘I hate you so much right now. How long ’til we have to leave?’

  ‘We’ve got just under an hour. Want a sandwich?’

  ‘Sod food, all this talk of penetration, fingers and tongues has me hot to trot. I’m off to have an orgasm. Stick your earphones in for once,’ she grinned as she jumped off the sofa making me laugh.

  ‘If you dare picture Gabe while you’re at it, I’ll beat you to death with that vibrator Lexi Clarke.’

  ‘Keep it down,’ she called back as she left the lounge. ‘You’ll put me off my mojo.’

  I shook my head and headed to the kitchen to make myself something to eat and turned and looked at the wall in horror when I heard the buzzing and a groan coming through. I flew to my bedroom and stuck in my iPhone earphones and turned up the music far too loud, before running back and shutting myself in the kitchen to finish making my sandwich. That I didn’t need to hear.

  She wandered in about ten minutes later with glazed eyes, flushed cheeks and a big grin on her face.

  ‘Don’t want to know,’ I giggled as I held my palm up to her and pulled my earphones out.

  ‘Damn, why didn’t I get one earlier?’ she sighed as she plonked herself on the chair next to me.

  ‘Because you were having regular sex. Did the trick then?

  ‘O yeah,’ she nodded. ‘You’re the best friend ever Mia Page.’

  ‘Wow and that was just a cheapy bog standard one. What would you be like with a rabbit?’

  ‘A what?!’ she looked at me wide eyed.

  ‘You’ve never heard of a rabbit? Come on Lex, everyone’s heard of rabbits. You have the vibrator insertable shaft and a little rabbit balanced on the edge and his ears vibrate so you can put them on your clit at the same time. Soooo much better than a normal vibrator. Some even thrust, have beads that rotate, knobbly spikes and everything.’

  ‘And you just got me a bog standard one? Bloody cheap skate,’ she grinned. ‘I’ve never looked at vibrators before, never needed too, but now I’m in a lull I see the appeal.’

  ‘Well it got the job done by the looks of you. You know I was thinking about Nana Page and vibrators and had an idea.’

  ‘MIA,’ she groaned, screwing up her face. ‘That’s just so wrong, putting the words Nana and vibrator in one sentence.’

  ‘What? She’s only in her late sixties and I bet she doesn’t have loads of sex since Grandpa Page died. There must be loads of sixty yea
r old sexually frustrated women out there and loads of them love Elvis Presley.’

  ‘Do I really want to know where you’re going with this?’ she sighed.

  ‘Well I was thinking they could do an Elvis shaped vibrator, with his guitar sticking out instead of the rabbit ears and it could play his “uh huh huh” noise as it did its magic.’

  ‘Haha that’s funny,’ she laughed.

  ‘It could be called “Are you lonesome tonight?” What do you think?’

  ‘I think Nana Page would never leave her room, along with hoards of other 60 year old women,’ Lexi chuckled. ‘You’d start a wave of death by heart attack from multiple orgasms for the over 60’s.’

  ‘I think I ought to patent that idea,’ I nodded. ‘The vibrator, not the heart attacks.’

  ‘Along with your Gabriel Macht blow up doll idea?’

  ‘There was nothing wrong with that idea Lexi, I bet lots of women would love to have him in their bed every night. Anyway I don’t actually need that anymore do I? But if ever Gabe and I split up I’d still like one, but he’d need to have my Gabe’s penis attached. You know I think you can buy kits to make life size replicas of men’s bits now.’

  ‘O god, please get one,’ she grinned, her face lighting up. ‘You could mould Gabe’s cock and let me see the life size version without actually seeing the real thing.’

  ‘You’re obsessed Lexi. You’re so not seeing that, it’s for my eyes only, real or sculpture. Besides where would you put it? On your dressing table like a piece of art?’

  ‘I could think of one place I’d like to try putting it,’ she winked.

  ‘Ok you’re totally grossing me out right now,’ I shuddered. ‘Please change the topic of conversation from Gabe’s penis.’

  ‘You started it,’ she protested. ‘I’m cock crazy since I’ve not been getting any. Maybe we need to get me the biggest badger with spikes and thrusts and all that jazz as soon as.’

  ‘Rabbit not badger,’ I sighed, shaking my head, wondering when I became the teacher and not the pupil in all things sexual. ‘Well we don’t have much time before we need to leave anyway, so why don’t I make you a sandwich and we can look at the website on the bus? I’ll show you the rabbits and you can get yourself one that appeals and buy me some ear muffs at the same time.’