by Brei Betzold
“What others?”
“The other guys you tried to scare away with that little piece of info about yourself, did they run?”
I nodded my head, confused about how calmly he sat there.
“Not why I came over, Scout.”
“Then why did you, so you could accuse me of more things I know nothing about?”
“Thought about it, and realized you probably didn’t have a clue about what happened, that they didn’t tell you. So I came to you to see if you would help get the charges dropped. He didn’t vandalize anything, he doesn’t have it in him.”
I made a low sound in my throat. He apparently knew absolutely nothing about what his friend was or was not capable of.
“You don’t believe me?”
“Nope.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
Seven not long enough years ago. “I was fourteen,” I told him finally.
“Hmm, a lot can change a person over the years, Scout.”
“Oh a lot can change a person in five days, Thayne. Don’t talk to me about something you know nothing about.”
He looked at me oddly, nodded his head and got up. “I gotta go, just thought I would try.”
“See ya,” I muttered.
He didn’t respond, instead walked around to the side fence, and walked out. I didn’t think I would be seeing him again anytime soon. Why did the idea of that bother me?
I walked back into the house, bypassed everyone who were staring at me and went to my room, shutting the door firmly. I didn’t want to deal with their questions. I just wanted to be left in peace for a while. Of course I didn’t get that, a light knock sounded on my door, I glared at the door when the knob turned and I saw Cam standing there with a plate of food.
“You need to eat,” Cam told me.
“Don’t wanna,” I muttered into my pillow I had pulled over my head.
“Don’t really care, you have to eat.”
I ripped the pillow away from my face. “When exactly do I get to make my own choices?”
“When you stop acting like a petulant fifteen year old who didn’t get her way,” she snarked back.
“Sorry,” I muttered and sat up taking the plate, “thank you.”
She sighed, “I don’t blame you for getting pissed, in fact I was starting to wonder if you ever would.”
I cocked my head in question since my mouth was full of chicken enchiladas.
“I just wouldn’t be able to have as little control as you have,” she said then walked towards the door. “Eat, take your pills, and think about what you want out of life, Scout.”
The door clicked, I dutifully ate my food, took my pills and thought like she said. I realized that I was once again doing as I was told without questioning it. I laid down and stared up at the ceiling thinking about what my life was. Was I really living to begin with? With that question running through my head, I fell into a fitful sleep.
I fought as he took his knife and ran it back and forth between my still developing breasts. “Careful, careful little one, I would hate to cut you here,” he said then laughed. I stopped fighting when he pressed the knife a little harder against my chest, he looked up and smirked at me, “Then again we both know how much you love me to hurt you.” He ripped open my nightgown exposing my small breasts and panties. He looked me over slowly. I cringed wishing I could cover myself; I had never been naked in front of anyone like this before. “Beautiful,” he whispered, I whimpered around the cloth in my mouth. “Awww shhh, you will like this, little one,” he said reaching his hand up and stroking my bloody, wet hair and I jerked away. I knew I made a mistake the instant I jerked. “Is that how it’s going to be, little one?” He ran the blade starting at my breastbone, down between my breasts down my stomach and to the edge of my panties. I screamed around the rag and tape but it was muffled so no one would hear me. I would never get away from him, I was going to die, I thought. He pressed harder digging the blade in deeper going back up a different trek this time over my left nipple. He did the same on the other side, leaving three bleeding wounds down my chest. I unfortunately didn’t pass out this time, but I was feeling so weak and my vision was spotty. I didn’t know how long he had had me tied up but I think days had passed at this point. He reached down and grabbed my jaw, “So beautiful,” he murmured then punched me, this time darkness did come, and I welcomed it.
I sat up straight screaming, covered in a layer of sweat. I forced myself to stop screaming and sucked in a breath of air. My door slammed open and Kale stood there staring at me, looking me over.
“I’m fine,” I said.
He nodded and walked towards me. “You sure?” he asked and I noticed that the other occupants of the house were here now as well.
I nodded “Yeah.”
“Want someone to sleep with you?”
“No,” I stated, “I just want to be alone.”
“Sure?”
“Yes,” I bit out.
I watched as they all looked at me then slowly left me alone. I curled up in a ball and cried till the sun came up.
I glanced over at my alarm clock and saw it was early, really early and decided to get up. I wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. I got dressed quickly and headed out the door, I still wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone so I headed to a diner I had seen nearby for coffee. I ordered breakfast and drank my coffee amongst the sounds of the other patron’s conversations and it was nice to just be for a change. No Cam watching how much I ate, no one watching me trying to ascertain what kind of mood I was in, no one reminding me to take this pill or that pill. It was normal, and I was beginning to realize just how much I craved normal.
After I paid the check, I headed out on Stella and decided to go for a nice long ride. I turned my cell off not that I would hear it on Stella anyway, or answer if I did. I just didn’t want to answer the questions, or hear the concern in their voices. I strapped on my helmet and left, not really sure where I was going, just that I had to go somewhere.
After riding for a while, I found a national park and decided to stop near a lake I had seen signs posted for. I climbed off and went wandering around soaking in the nature. There were couples around hiking, walking, having picnics and I felt envious of how at ease they all seemed with one another. I had never had that with someone outside my small group, and I was beginning to doubt I ever would.
I made my way to the bank of the lake and watched the boats and jet skis skimming across the water, sending waves across the lake. On the other bank was a beach and swimming area, you could occasionally hear the shrieks and laughter of children. I could barely make out families on the beach, girls lying out in the sun, guys throwing Frisbees around. I saw one girl walking around in a bikini and sighed, I would never be able to do that, I could never show off my body so unabashedly, not with the scars.
I turned and continued walking, heading back towards Stella, once I reached it, I decided to turn my phone back on and check my messages. I groaned when it came on and I saw twenty-three unanswered calls, eighteen text messages. I rolled my eyes heavenward, seriously? What was wrong with taking time for myself, with not having everyone know my every move? I scrolled through the texts all basically the same ‘where are you’ messages. Then I went through the phone calls and stopped, a phone call from my place in San Diego, I quickly dialed the number and waited for it to go to the answering machine.
Instead I heard a familiar voice pick up, “Scout, where the fuck are you?” bark at me.
I laughed, “You’re home?” I squealed.
“Scout, where are you?”
“At a lake,” I said getting irritated. “When did you get in?”
“Scout, you need to get back to the rental house, everyone is worried about you.”
“You know what? No!” I said hanging up and turning my phone back off.
I knew he would be pissed, but so was I. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year, was it too much to ask that he talked to me
before he began ordering me around? I climbed back on Stella and decided not to go home yet, so I chose a direction and continued on in my exploration. I knew I should have at least called the rental and let them know I was okay, but at this point, I was pissed, hurt, and feeling a wee bit vengeful so I stayed out for the day.
I walked in the door and headed towards the bathroom. I wanted a hot shower to wash off the grime from riding all day. It had been fun to go out exploring. I found some interesting spots and beautiful areas I wouldn’t mind spending more time at while I was here. I was walking towards the bathroom when I heard my name being bellowed, I looked over my shoulder and there was a very pissed off Simon.
“You bellowed?”
“Where the fuck were you?” he shouted.
I shrugged, “Went for a ride.” Then turned and headed for the bathroom.
Simon reached out, grabbed my arm, and spun me around. “You went for a ride? All day? Without telling anyone?”
“Yeah, pretty much sums my day up, though I did talk to Cas at one point. I told him I was out.”
“All you told him was you were at a lake,” he bit out, “and then hung up on him.”
“No, not exactly, I listened to him yell at me and not listening to me so I hung up on him.”
“God damn it, Scout, you’re acting like a fucking teenager,” he yelled again.
“About time, huh?” I asked then turned and went into the bathroom shutting the door in his face then locking it.
I quickly turned the hot water on and stripped out of my clothes. I looked down—I never looked down. I didn’t like seeing the marks he had left on my body. I traced the raised scar that ran from the bottom of my breastbone to navel with my finger. I looked over at my right nipple, they had tried to fix it and the left one, but the wounds were days old by the time they got to them. They were disfigured, scarred, and nothing short of reconstructive surgery would repair them, and I never wanted to go through that kind of pain again. I sighed and climbed into the shower, the one time I had tried to have sex it was with the lights off. I wouldn’t let him turn them on. I didn’t want him, anyone, to see the scars on my legs, chest, luckily the ones on my arms weren’t as noticeable unless I tanned, so I always made sure that I wore lots of sunscreen.
I quickly finished in the bathroom, wrapped myself in a towel and opened the door, I ran into what could only be described as a brick wall. I looked up and found a very pissed off, very healthy, very here, Cas. I screamed and wrapped my arms around his waist holding on tightly. I wasn’t letting him go anytime soon.
He unraveled my arms from his waist and held me at arm’s length. “What were you thinking?” he asked while shaking me.
“That I wanted some time alone and to go on a ride,” I mumbled looking down at the floor.
“Scout, you can’t just leave like that, you have to tell someone,” he growled.
I nodded my head and bit my lip still looking at the floor clutching my towel to myself.
“Go get dressed,” he ordered, “then we’ll talk about what you’ve been up to since you came here.”
I watched him storm down the hallway and then headed to my room to do as I was told.
Chapter 17
I quickly pulled on a pair of pajama pants, bra, and tank top and made my way out to the living room to see Cas. He stood there with his arms folded across his rather large chest waiting on me. He was pissed, I could see it in the tick of his jaw and the fire in his hazel eyes.
“Sit,” he growled.
I quickly sat down on the couch watching him, waiting.
“This is going to stop, Scout. You cannot go running around by yourself, do you understand me?”
I nodded my head fighting back the tears; I never wanted to disappoint Cas.
“You tell someone where you are going, who you are going with, and when you will get back,” he barked. “You will not be going anywhere alone, not even the grocery store, got it?”
I nodded my head again.
“There will be no more of this guy that I’ve been hearing about. I don’t care if you trust him, he works for Ace, he is friends with him, you cannot trust him, Scout.”
I nodded in agreement. Cas knew what was best for me.
He squatted down in front of me and gently brushed away the tears from my cheeks. “I’ve missed you, baby girl,” he whispered then kissed me on my forehead and wrapped his arms around me.
I held on tightly burying my face into his neck, glad to have Cas home again. I let it all out in the form of tears—the months of worry, of not knowing if he was safe, I cried it all out. And I realized I had been selfish the past week. I shouldn’t have been worrying him, he had other things that he needed to be focused on, not me.
“I promise I won’t leave again without telling anyone,” I told him and took a deep breath. “And no more Thayne.”
“Good girl,” he murmured. “Now what are you going to make me for dinner?”
I wiped my eyes laughing and jumped up to cook Cas a welcome home dinner.
We spent the evening eating dinner, joking, telling stories, having a good time, only I couldn’t get into the jovial mood. I was ecstatic that Cas was home, but there was a shadow over the evening. I didn’t want to stay away from Thayne; I did trust him. But everyone else said I shouldn’t, that he was unsafe. I couldn’t see him hurting me, but I had promised Cas, so I would stay away from him.
Everyone called it quits early and I curled up on the couch, giving Cas my room. I fought sleep as long as possible. I had been having nightmares more often lately. I didn’t want to have another. Eventually though sleep did find me, and with it came hell.
“Wake up, little one,” then cold water was thrown on my now mostly naked skin. I cried out at the shock of it, only it was more of a croak at this point. “Ah, there are those green eyes I love, ready for more, little one?” he asked laughing. He reached down ripping the tape from my mouth, then pulled the cloth from my mouth. He tipped a bottle of cold water over my face, the water choked me when he grabbed my jaw holding my mouth open. I coughed and spluttered when he finally finished, he laughed harder. “Why,” I croaked out. “What was that, little one,” he asked in return. “Why are you doing this?” I asked him again. He looked at me thoroughly confused, “You wanted me too,” he told me then shoved the cloth back in my mouth and covered in fresh tape. I winced at the sting. “Now time for the real fun, little one,” he told me and slapped me hard before climbing on the bed.
I once again woke up sitting up straight screaming. Cas came running into the room flipping on the light, and I shielded my eyes from it.
“Scout, are you okay?”
“Fine,” I mumbled, “nightmare.”
“Oh,” Cas replied, “happening often?”
I shrugged, “Dunno.”
“Want to come, curl up in the bed with me?”
I shook my head. “No, I think I want to stay up, maybe watch TV.”
“Okay,” he said dubiously, “if you’re sure.”
“Yeah.”
He watched me for another minute, nodded, and went back to the room. I spent the rest of the night watching people trying to sell me kitchen gadgets, how to make a million dollars in six weeks, and how to lose weight quickly. I finally got up made coffee, and started on breakfast.
After breakfast, we headed into the garage to start this week’s challenge, Cas decided to tag along and see what we had been doing. I also think he wanted to check out Ace & Lace’s team, and more importantly Thayne. I just wanted to immerse myself in work and forget everything else.
Soon we were standing around listening to Eddie tell us about this week’s mini challenge. This time around I didn’t have much of a role. Each team chose a member, the member then had to go up and rebuild a motor’s carburetor, and we of course, sent Kale. We sat back cheering him on, the first one finished won, he came in second to one of Matt’s team members, though it was close.
Then it came to the week’s cha
llenge Eddie once again was up front and center. “This week each team will be given a nonworking Knucklehead Engine. Each team will have to tear the engine apart, make repairs, and have it able to start on a testing stand,” he told us.
I glanced over at Kale and couldn’t help but smile at the little boy excited look on his face, he loved working with old engines. We were told that the team that won the mini challenge’s reward was to assign everyone their engines. We sat through their engine expert giving away what engine each team would use then were finally allowed to start planning. We had one hour to make a plan, we would be allowed to start tearing down the engine tomorrow.
We sat around our stall and listened to Kale’s plan. It was no surprise that I was assigned to cleaning parts, cataloging parts, and being the gopher. While I could rebuild an engine if I had to, it wasn’t something I enjoyed doing, so I would be taking a more hands off job with this challenge.
At our hour’s end, we headed out. I noticed Thayne multiple times during the day, but he seemed to be ignoring me. I did the same with him, hoping that my occasional covert glances his way went unnoticed. Once home, we went through what had become our normal routine, I made dinner, we ate together, talking and watching TV. Then it was bedtime and I fought it, luckily winning this time.
I took a shower and chugged coffee before anyone else was up. I was debating making breakfast when I heard footsteps; I turned and found Liam. He looked me over shook his head and fixed himself a cup of coffee then turned to look at me.
“Sleep well, Harper Lee?”
“Fine,” I muttered focusing on my cup of coffee.
“Uh huh,” he replied but let it go.
I fixed myself another cup of coffee and curled up on the couch with my Kindle, and read till it was time to go. I had handed over the keys to Angel to Cas so he would have something to drive while we were here since he had flown up. So I climbed on Stella and enjoyed the short ride to the garage. The days were getting hot, but the mornings were perfect.
We arrived too quickly for my taste but headed in to spend a day with twisted metal and grease. After a visit to the harpies, we were told to go to our marks and then we listened to today’s directions. We were given four hours to tear apart the engine, diagnose what was wrong with it, note the parts we would need ordered, and what we would make. I followed the guys into the stall and went to work taking notes, and zoning out.
