by Brei Betzold
“I think I like the idea of you living there,” I whispered.
He smiled at me, “You can’t stop thinking, can you?”
“Nope,” I told him and leaned over putting my coffee cup on the table then scooted across the couch so I could lean against him.
He put his arm around me. “Hi there,” he murmured before leaning down slowly and gently brushing his lips against mine. He added more pressure and I opened for him, allowing him to sweep his tongue across my bottom lip before tangling his tongue with mine. The kiss started gentle but quickly escalated into deep and passionate. He left no recess of my mouth unexplored, and I followed suit, breathing his breath and taste deep inside myself making a memory I hoped never to forget.
We broke apart breathing erratically. Thayne nibbled on my lips sucking the bottom one into his mouth teasing it with his tongue. He leaned in again, opening my lips with his tongue, kissing me harder, more urgently than before, and I melted into it. Tongues tangled, teeth clicked against each other, he sucked my tongue into his mouth taunting it with his own. It continued like this for what felt like hours, until finally he broke it off moving away from me.
“We have to stop,” he panted.
“Why?” I asked just as out of breath.
“Because if this goes on much longer, we’re going to do something stupid.”
I got up on my knees and straddled his lap. “Like this?” I asked then leaned down and started kissing his neck.
“Scout,” he moaned, “stop.”
“Don’t wanna,” I murmured against his neck then worked my way up his neck to his ear.
“Scout, please,” he whined. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not completely sure about.”
“Who says I’m not sure?”
He gripped my waist and picked me up off him, sat me down beside him then jumped up and began pacing.
“Scout, you’ve had a rough night, and I don’t want us to do something that can’t be undone. You, Mia Bella, are a virgin, and your first time shouldn’t be like this.”
“I’m not a virgin,” I whispered.
“Yeah, you are, Bella,” he said walking over and dropping to his knees in front of me grabbing my hands. “You are. You’ve never given yourself to someone before freely, it’s not biology, it’s emotional.”
I shook my head, “No, it’s not.”
“Yeah it is, you’ve never willingly let someone touch you like that, you’ve never given someone permission,” he whispered. “You’ve never happily submitted to someone to let them that close. In all the ways that matter, you are a virgin, Bella.”
“I wish I could see it like that,” I said quietly.
“Then do, because that’s how I see it, and I do not want you to regret your first time.”
“I don’t think I could regret it with you,” I murmured.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Please, I just want you to be sure. I don’t want to hurt you, or scare you. I don’t want you to see him when you look at me.”
“Thayne, I could never see him when I look at you.”
“You say that now, but if something happens, if something goes wrong.” He shook his head. “I can’t hurt you, Scout.”
I thought about that for a moment, and I understood, he was afraid of something setting me off, and I couldn’t promise him that wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t promise that wouldn’t happen the first, the fifth, or the three hundred sixty seventh time though.
“I trust you, Thayne, and I can’t make you any promises, but I want it to be you to help me make this new memory.”
“You’re sure?”
I nodded.
“Okay, but if anything bothers you, and I mean anything you let me know immediately and we stop.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” he breathed then leaned in and kissed me hard.
Thayne grabbed my thighs and pulled them apart wedging himself between my legs, then reached around wrapping my legs around his waist then stood, not breaking the kiss.
I laughed, “Eager?”
“Mmm yes,” he whispered against my lips, “you okay?”
“Yeah.”
He walked us through the apartment, his hands on my ass holding me tightly against his body, when he walked in and kicked the door shut though, I started second guessing myself. Was I really ready for this?
“We can stop,” he told me seriously.
I swallowed. “No, I want to do this.”
“Then why did you tense?”
“I’m just nervous.”
“That’s normal, Bella.”
“I don’t like to be naked in front of people.”
“Scout, we can stop.”
“No, I just need to go slow.”
He smiled slowly. “Slow I can do,” then he went to show me by kissing me slowly, taking his time and leaving me breathless. “Slow enough?” he asked when he broke the kiss.
I nodded. “Yeah,” I breathed.
He finally let me down, sliding my body down his, and when my feet finally met the floor, I wasn’t sure if they would hold me up. He held onto my hips looking down at me, smiling, and I laughed at his smug look.
“I love it when you laugh,” he said and I blushed looking away, “and when you blush.”
I looked around his bedroom, it was just as sparse as his living room, a bed and a dresser that was it.
“Hmm, how very streamlined,” I told him.
“I don’t need much.”
“Mine looks similar.”
“We’ll take this at your speed, k?”
“Okay.”
He grabbed my hand and led me to the bed, sitting down on the side and pulling me between his legs. I stood there staring down at him watching him as he was watching me.
“You okay?”
“You’re going to keep asking me that, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“I’m okay.”
“Good,” he whispered before reaching up and running his fingers along the edge of my jeans before slipping his fingers under my tank top. “So soft,” he said as he caressed my skin.
I ran my fingers through his hair, his dark brown hair was soft, and I let it trail over my fingers, before running them down his neck. I was happy he was still shirtless, it gave me plenty of places to explore.
“Can we take this off?” he asked tugging on my tank top.
I took a deep breath and nodded, he slowly pulled it up my torso, over my breasts where I took over grabbing the hem and pulling it over my head, letting it drop to the floor. He took in a sharp breath and I refused to look. I couldn’t stand seeing revulsion in his face.
“Mia Bella,” he whispered before running his soft lips over my left side where one of my other tattoos was, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough,” he read. “Who said that?”
“Mae West.”
“Is there anymore?”
I nodded and he turned me slightly so he could see the other one, “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple,” he read while brushing his fingers across my ribs following the words. “And this one?”
“Dr. Seuss” I whimpered as he ran his tongue across the tattoo.
“I like them,” he told me and I nodded still not looking at him. “You are beautiful, Scout.”
I shook my head, “No, I’m not.”
“Oh Bella, you are gorgeous, I wish you could see that,” he murmured against my skin, then began running his tongue tracing the words I had inscribed onto my body as reminders. I shivered, his warm mouth left cool trails on my skin. When he reached one of my scars he paused and I sucked in a breath, then he gently laid a kiss on it before moving to the next, then the next, kissing each one of long scars that ran down my torso.
He pulled my hands free of his hair and kissed my wrists where I had more scars and tattoos then up my arm. I took a shaky breath, looking down at him, and found him looking up at me with that look in h
is eyes again.
“You are beautiful, Scout,” he whispered.
“Okay,” I whispered.
He smiled up at me, then pulled me down on top of him while falling back on the bed. I laughed at the move, but that quickly changed to a moan when he kissed me again. I felt his fingers brush my bra, asking permission, and I gave a slight shake of my head so he ran his fingers down my spine. He kissed me until I slowly felt the tension leave my body, then turned sideways laying us both on our sides.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“We can stop here,” he told me rubbing his fingers down my arm.
I shook my head and took a deep breath then reached behind me and unsnapped my bra letting it fall open. I pulled it off my arms and then tossed it to the floor, allowing him a first look at my breasts.
“I’m going to kill him,” he whispered looking at my scarred nipples.
“Please don’t bring him here,” I whispered back.
He took a deep breath and then nodded, “Sorry,” he murmured then leaned down and gently kissed one nipple then the other and I shuddered. “Sensitive?” he asked smirking at me.
I nodded and watched him lick my nipple once again, and I moaned when he pulled it into his mouth sucking gently. I had never felt something that good before, it was amazing. He used his tongue ring to flick the nipple and I cried out.
He finally released it with a pop and looked up at me, his eyes dancing with amusement. “I think I may love your nipples,” he said. “I can’t decide which part of you I love the most, every time I see something new I change my mind.”
“When do I get to see something new?”
He quirked his eyebrow at me and smirked, “Anytime you want, Bella,” he said standing up and unfastening his jean, pushing him down his lean hip. I sucked in a breath when I realized he wasn’t wearing anything underneath.
I stared at his cock, it looked huge, and now I was scared. “Will it fit?”
He laughed softly, “Yeah, Bella, it will fit.” Then he looked at me seriously, “But it might hurt at first. I am going to go slow and try not to hurt you, but well it might this first time.”
I nodded understanding what he was saying.
“Can we take your jeans off, we’ll leave the panties.”
“Okay,” I whispered letting him unbutton and unzip my pants, slowly pulling them down my thighs. I looked away, as he pulled my socks and shoes off, then my pants the rest of the way off dropping them on the floor. My cellphone made a ‘thunk’ as it hit the floor.
“Beautiful,” he whispered. Climbing back on the bed beside me, running his fingers over my panties, and down my thighs. “You okay?”
“I…I think I need a minute,” I whispered, he immediately pulled his hand away and I breathed in and out several times.
“Talk to me, Bella,” he murmured.
“Just a little overwhelmed.”
“Okay, we can stop if you need to.”
“No, just give me a moment.”
We laid there and I breathed in and out, until finally I was calm again. “Okay,” I whispered.
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah.”
He reached over running the back of his hand down my stomach again, letting it trail over my panties and I moaned. “Like that, Bella?” he crooned against my ear and I nodded.
He slowly brought his hand back up and continued that up and down until I was panting. “Please,” I begged.
“Please what, Scout? I want no confusion here.”
“Please take off my panties,” I whined.
He chuckled then sat up and slowly pulled my panties down my legs, dropping them with our clothes. He sat there staring down at me, I began fidgeting, self-conscious with him watching me.
“What?”
“I just can’t stop looking at you,” he said. “You are…I can’t think of words that do you justice.”
He ran a finger down my slit and I whimpered raising my hips wanting more but not understanding what completely. He did though, he ran his finger back up going further parting my labia and brushing my clit. I nearly jumped off the bed with that fleeting touch.
“Mmm so responsive,” he purred, “so beautiful, Mia Bella.”
He slowly trailed his finger back down once again brushing my clit and I moaned loudly. He continued down, finally reaching my opening, circling it with a finger over and over, then finally slowly pushing one finger in to the hilt.
“You’re so tight, Bella,” he whispered then bit my earlobe. Sucking it, caressing it with his tongue, taking my mind off the slight sting when he pushed a second finger into me.
Slowly at first, he worked his fingers in and out of my body. Then started to move faster, adding his thumb over my clit moving it in circles in the same pace he was moving his fingers inside me. I arched, moaning, and I felt something barreling down at me, and I knew on some level what it was, but still it scared me with the intensity I felt it coming.
“Let go, Scout,” he whispered then leaned down, kissing me roughly and I let go. I let the feeling surround me, take me under its tide, and I felt like I was drowning with it. I ripped my lips from his and screamed. He slowed his pace while I shook with the intensity and moved him thumb from my clit.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” I finally breathed out.
He laughed, “I think you liked that.”
“Yeah.”
“We can stop here if you want.”
I shook my head and looked up at him. “No, Thayne, I want to know what its like to feel this with someone I trust.” I wanted to say love, but I wasn’t sure that’s what this was yet, though I thought it might be.
“Bella,” he whispered then kissed me, a brush of his lips then another and another. “Bella,” he whispered again before rolling over, grabbing a condom and quickly rolling it on. He leaned over me, placing his body over mine and I sucked in a breath. My chest began to tighten, I couldn’t get enough oxygen. His body weight left me immediately and I felt him rubbing my arm.
“Breathe, Scout,” he told me. I forced myself to take a breath then another and another calming myself down.
“Sorry,” I said embarrassed about my freak out.
“Nothing to be sorry about, Bella. Want to tell me what happened?”
“You were on top and I couldn’t breathe.”
He nodded, “Do you want to continue?”
“Yes,” I nearly shouted.
“Okay,” he said lying down on his back. “Then we are going to do this another way, straddle my hips, Bella.”
I looked over at him confused but at his reassuring smile I did as he told me. He gripped himself in his hand and I got the idea. I felt him brush my opening and I slowly lowered myself, when he began to enter me I sucked in a breath at the sting as he stretched me open.
“Slow, Scout,” he told me watching my face, his eyes full of concern.
I slowly lowered myself onto him, and the sting quickly gave away to a full feeling. Finally, I was sitting on his hips, him fully inside me. I sat there getting used to the feeling of someone so deep inside of me.
He reached up and pushed my hair from my face, “You okay?”
“Good,” I told him and then attempted to move but I couldn’t get a grasp on what to do.
“Here, let me, okay?”
I nodded and he put his hands on my hips and slowly pulled me up before carefully guiding me down. I quickly caught on to the movement and took over increasing the speed as I went.
He arched up into me which caused his pubic bone to brush my clit and I clenched around him. We both moaned. He found my clit with his thumb and began circling it and I increased the pace. I felt that sensation again and this time I didn’t fight it but welcomed it. It crashed over me and I felt myself clenching around him over and over and I screamed out. He quickly grabbed my hips and slammed me down on him holding me there as he groaned at his own release.
I fell forward panting an
d smiled against his chest. “I think I like sex,” I murmured once I could breathe again.
He laughed and kissed the top of my head. “Glad to hear that,” he told me then turned us to our sides gently pulling free of my body. He took care of the condom then wrapped himself around me and I quickly fell asleep, feeling safe.
Chapter 34
I woke up slowly and looked around. I took in a sharp breath and began struggling, then I felt a hand run up and down my arm.
“Shhh,” a voice whispered, “you’re safe.”
I jerked my head around and found Thayne sitting up watching me. That’s when it all came back, the fight with Cas, the lying, then I bolted upright, and stared at Thayne.
“Oh my god,” I whispered, “we had sex.”
He sighed and started plucking at his lip ring with his fingers. “Not the reaction I was hoping for, but the one I have been waiting here for.”
I watched as Thayne continued to play with his lip ring "we should have waited, Scout, fuck what was I thinking?"
“We had sex,” I said in a normal tone letting that sink in. I had sex with Thayne and I didn’t freak out. I didn’t have any flashbacks, and I wasn’t freaking out about having sex with him, more that I had done it to begin with. I had sex and I enjoyed it. I smiled hugely and giggled, “We had sex!” I yelled happily.
He watched me I think trying to gauge if I was pissed, upset, or just crazy. I jumped up and straddled his lap kissing him hard. “We had sex, we had great sex,” I murmured. “I want to have sex with you again.”
“Okay, now that wasn’t a reaction I was expecting,” he muttered then kissed me back.
I quickly pulled away and grinned at him, “Well I do try for the unexpected.”
“Mmm and you succeed,” he said before kissing me again. “Okay, we gotta break this up, we have work today, and Nikki will be here any minute.”
“Fuck,” I muttered, “I have to go home.”
He nodded. “I know, you need clean clothes and your medications.”
