Painted Lines

by Brei Betzold

  I sighed, “I am going to start seeing a therapist when I get home. Hopefully it will help eventually.”

  “I love you, Scout, if that’s what you want then go for it, it doesn’t change anything.”

  I nodded rubbing my cheek against his back wishing things were different, that I was whole.

  “Thayne,” I began but he spun around and kissed me, hard.

  “Please not yet,” he murmured against my lips, “just a little bit longer.”

  “Okay,” I whispered then kissed him back.

  After we had coffee, we went to the garage together. It was such a nice day that we couldn’t pass up the idea of a ride. He was the only person I had ever let drive Stella, which I told him repeatedly. I wanted to make sure he understood what a solemn occasion it was for me to share her with him. He was highly amused by my over protective instincts about my motorcycle, but he understood, and was careful with her.

  Once there we went to work finishing piecing the bike together. It went together smoothly, which I was very grateful for. We all stood back, admiring our handiwork, she was gorgeous, and I wanted to take her out for a test ride, only we weren’t allowed to. I spent the rest of the time on the show sulking over the fact that I couldn’t ride her before handing her over to the judges.

  I ran my fingers along the gas tank once more, before we pulled the doors down making sure to lock it securely, then handing the key over to the production assistant. I was happy that we were coming to the end of this. I was ready to get back to San Diego.

  I was nervous about what returning home would mean for me, and I was anxious about beginning to deal with my past. I had come to the realization that I wouldn’t be able to have a healthy relationship until I had at least begun dealing with what had happened to me. It wasn’t fair to myself or Thayne to continue along this path. I couldn’t wholly give myself to him until the past was in the past, and we both deserved better. I just hoped he was willing to wait for me, though I wouldn’t blame him if he decided to move on with his life.

  We waved bye then headed out the doors into the sunshine. I pulled my sunglasses on heading to Stella. I jerked to a stop, my chest constricted and my breathing picked up.

  “No, no, no, not my baby,” I whispered staring aghast at my Stella. I heard a roaring sound in my ears, all I could do was stare.

  Someone had hurt my baby. I was vaguely aware of being on the ground and someone wrapping their arms around me, but I could only stare at the carnage. It looked like someone had taken a tire iron or other object to her. I winced when I saw just how bad it truly was. She was beaten, and bleeding out oil, gas and other fluids.

  The roaring grew louder and someone was shaking me, their mouth moving but I couldn’t hear or understand what they were saying. I couldn’t even bother to really look at them. The tank was dented, the engine in pieces. Who would hurt my baby? All the hours, days spent on carefully putting her together, the time spent on the custom paint job to get it perfect, all of it ruined.

  Someone shook me again, I ripped my eyes away from my decimated Stella to a panicked Thayne. I saw his lips move and it looked like he was telling me to breathe. I hadn’t noticed the black dots now filling my vision. I took a quick short breath, repeatedly, not able to fully fill my lungs. My heartbeat was racing and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay conscious for much longer. A break from the pain of the heartbreaking sight of my first love injured was welcomed.

  I jerked awake when the foulest smell I had ever encountered drifted in front of me, a pair of concerned brown eyes stared down at me. I quickly began searching for a different set of eyes, and found them to my left staring down at me. I could see the relief in his face.

  “You have got to stop doing that shit,” he muttered, “you’re going to give me a fucking heart attack one of these times.”

  “Sorry,” I mumbled.

  He ran his finger along my cheek, “At least this time I caught you.”

  I pushed up on my elbows. The EMT quickly wrapped his arm around my shoulders and helped me sit up. I felt dizzy and a bit disoriented with the rush of blood throughout my body. I quickly shook it off and tried to stand. I had to get to Stella and see how bad the damage is.

  “Scout, you can’t go over there right now,” Thayne said. “The cops are checking everything out.”

  “I have to see her.”

  “After the police leave, we will get her home, okay?”

  I shook my head, and felt another rush of dizziness at the action. “No, I want to see how bad.”

  He bit his lip and looked at me sadly. “No,” he ordered quietly.

  I took a deep breath trying to keep the tears at bay, “That bad?”

  He nodded, “She can be fixed. We will fix her, but right now you need to stay as calm as you can.”

  He sat down beside me in the parking lot and pulled me into his lap wrapping his arms around me tightly. “It’s okay to cry, Bella,” he whispered in my ear.

  I wiped away a stray tear, “Not here.”

  “Okay, Bella, I understand.”

  When the police had finally finished their work with the bike, she was loaded in the back of one of Matt’s team’s pick-up trucks and brought to our rental house. The cops then started questioning everyone who was around at the time, as well as pulling the security tapes of the building. They didn’t have high hopes for the tapes since it appeared that someone had spray painted over the lenses of the cameras. Thayne stayed with me the entire time I was being interviewed. My team took care of details about Stella, calling Saul and Cas to let them know what had happened.

  Finally we were able to leave, Thayne borrowed Kale’s bike and he drove us home. When I saw a broken Stella sitting in the driveway, I finally couldn’t contain it any longer. The tears streamed down my face before I even had my helmet off, I walked towards her stroking her tank. Thayne walked up, letting me know he was there for me, but didn’t touch me, letting me mourn my loss. Eventually I turned and let him wrap his arms around me and take me into the house. He never left me that night, surrounding me in sleep, waking me gently when I had a nightmare. I think I fell even more in love with him.

  Chapter 50

  I woke the next morning cocooned in strong warm arms. I wanted to stay in bed all day my head buried in pillows and those arms secured around me. Only I knew I couldn’t, we had to present our bikes to the judges today, not that any of that really mattered to me anymore. I sniffed back more tears and wiggled out from Thayne’s arms. Heading to the bathroom, I shut the door, glancing in the mirror, red-rimmed blood shot eyes looked back at me. I had spent most of the night going between nightmares and crying myself back to sleep.

  I turned the shower on as hot as I could, stripped out of my clothes, and stood under the scalding flow of water, letting it turn my skin raw and red. When it finally turned cold, I forced myself out, toweled off numbly, and dressed in pure black camo pants, black tank top. I was in a state of mourning so black clearly defined my mood today. My only real hope was that we wouldn’t have to stay long at the site. I didn’t know how long I would be able to hold it together.

  I walked into the kitchen, I knew I looked bad but I really just couldn’t muster up any real concern over that. I went to the coffee pot made my morning cup and stared absently at the dark liquid. I saw someone walk over and pull my pills out for me setting them beside my cup. I nodded slightly, tossed the pills in my mouth, and swallowed the scalding liquid, not relishing it as I normally do.

  We were a quiet and morose group when we finally drove to the shop in Cam’s car. Someone had the sense to cover Stella with a tarp so I didn’t have to see her once again when we left. I appreciated that, but it still didn’t stop me from staring at her as we pulled out of the driveway. Once there, we went to see the makeup people, I vaguely aware of them tittering about how I had looked. I spent the morning in their chair like a zombie, for once not caring that their hands were on me, nor flinching from their touch.

  We
gathered on our marks and I watched as they unveiled the bikes. The judges circled making notes. I stood by and watched them, disinterested. I knew the judges had fifty percent voice in who wins; the other half came from votes that were accumulated during bike week. They would be put on display for a week, giving those who passed by a chance to pick their favorite.

  Finally the judges were finished and we were able to head home; we wouldn’t know the results for another two weeks. I had worried I would go crazy with not knowing for that length of time, but now it no longer really mattered. I wanted to get Stella back to San Diego and into my shop so I could fix her.

  When we got home, I went straight to my room and curled up in the fetal position in the middle of my bed. I wanted to get some sleep, I wanted to cry, and I wanted to do nothing at all but stare at my ceiling. I knew I was going into a depression, only I didn’t want or know how to stop it at this point. I felt so raw, ripped open. I physically hurt with the emotions rolling through me.

  I felt the bed dip and hands began to gently rub up and down my back, I didn’t have to look to see who it was, I knew that touch.

  “We will get her repaired, Bella,” he murmured.

  I nodded, “I know, but it still hurts.”

  “I know it does, Scout.”

  “I feel violated all over again and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

  I heard him sigh. “I don’t have words to make this better, all I know is that lying around isn’t going to help.”

  “I don’t know what else to do,” I whispered.

  “How about you come out here and cook something, draw something, anything to help take your mind off of it for a little bit?”

  I bit my lip and thought it over, “will you help me cook?”

  He laughed, “Uhm how about I hang out and talk to you while you cook? It’s probably safer that way.”

  I slowly sat up and place a gentle kiss on his lips, “Thank you.”

  “Nothing to thank me for, Bella. I love you and I hate to see you like this.”

  I got out of bed and went to the kitchen pulling items out to make some decadent chocolate pancakes for dinner. I felt the need to gorge on chocolate.

  Thayne was of course right about taking my mind off things. I couldn’t forget but I wasn’t focused on it either. I put together a breakfast for dinner with chocolate pancakes covered in fresh strawberries and whip cream, crisp bacon, and eggs scrambled with cheese. Everyone eagerly filled plates and filed into the living room making quick work of their food. When we had finished stuffing ourselves with enough calories for a week, we all sat back lounging.

  “So Nikki, you excited about the move?” asked Liam.

  She shrugged, “Not really sure what there is to do there, and I don’t have any friends.”

  “There are a couple of part time guys that work at our shop and Saul’s that are your age I’ll introduce you,” I told her.

  “That would be great,” she squealed.

  “As for stuff to do there is a lot of things, maybe you can even talk Scout into teaching you to surf,” Kale said.

  Thayne looked over and me and quirked his eyebrow, “You surf?”

  “Sometimes for fun, I’m not very good. If you are interested in learning, ask Liam for help, he’s who taught me.”

  “Liam, will you teach me?” she begged, batting her eyes at him like a lost doe.

  He groaned, “Yes, as long as your brother says it’s okay.”

  “If you want you can come to Krav Maga classes with me,” I offered.

  “What’s that?” she asked

  “A blend of different types of martial arts, it’s mainly for self-defense. The idea is you incapacitate them long enough to get away.”

  “I think I like that idea,” Thayne answered for her then looked over and smirked at me. “I think I have seen it in action, I wouldn’t mind knowing you could take care of yourself.”

  I nodded, “And it’s fun to do, a great workout.”

  Nikki nodded, “Okay, I can give it a try.”

  We continued discussing San Diego, places to live in the area. Nikki seemed more at ease by the end of the evening. I was sad when it was time for them to leave, but they needed to go to their apartment. I kissed Thayne bye with a promise of seeing him the next day. I curled up on my bed shortly after and drifted to sleep, not peaceful, but not as fitful as the night before.

  I woke up later than normal, fumbled through my morning routine, then went in search of coffee. After finally satisfying my craving for caffeine, I walked into the living room where Thayne was sitting talking with the guys. He looked up and smiled at me then answered a question Kale had asked him. I went and snuggled into his side, enjoying having him close. I closed my eyes trying to soak him in. He reached around and started slowly rubbing my back in wide circles. I knew that I needed to talk to him soon about what was going on between us. I just hoped that afterwards we could continue building a friendship.

  I leaned my head against his shoulder and looked around noticing that Nikki wasn’t here, “Where’s your sister?”

  “She wanted to spend the day with her friend.”

  “Ah.”

  “So Scout, we’re going to go take a look at Stella,” Simon said quietly.

  I bit my lip and nodded. “Okay, but I want to get her home somehow and work on her there.”

  “That’s fine but we need to make sure all the fluids are drained, and get an idea on what we are working with,” said Kale.

  “We’ll load her up on the trailer when we go home, you can ride with Cam and Zadok,” replied Simon.

  “So when are you heading to San Diego?” asked Liam.

  “As soon as our place is packed, Matt said he had a house I can rent for now.”

  I smiled, “I know which house he’s talking about, I used to live there.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, with Simon and Cas then later on when Cas moved in Kale and Liam moved in. Simon got married and ditched us, so we got an apartment instead. I moved out a few months ago and into Cas’s townhouse while he was gone.”

  “So then you live with your brother?”

  “Not for long. Saul’s building an apartment above the shop we plan to buy, for me. I’m moving in there when we get back.”

  Liam snickered, “Which means you will live about five minutes from Scout.”

  “Yeah and thirty minutes from the shop he’ll be working at.”

  “That’s not bad, I drive forty-five minutes for work now.”

  “Okay, let’s get this over with,” Kale said standing up and heading out the door.

  I slowly stood up following everyone else out the door so we could look over my baby. I wasn’t looking forward to this.

  Once outside I watched as Liam slowly pulled the tarp from over her, and I gasped. She looked rough. I stood back while they kneeled down checking out different parts of her. I knew she could be put back together again, but that didn’t matter, what mattered was that someone had been cruel enough to do it in the first place. It was a common rule that you didn’t mess with someone’s bike. It was more than just a vehicle; it was a part of your family, a piece of you.

  After Kale emptied all her fluids, I looked over her paint job. I would have to sand blast her down to bare and start completely over. There wasn’t a piece of her that was untouched, though the good news was it didn’t look as if her frame was compromised in any way. The motor would have to be rebuilt, all the chrome would have to be refinished, new tires, new electronics.

  “Ah Stella,” I murmured to her running my fingers across her now chipped and beaten tank. “You’ll be okay, I’ll get you all fixed up baby.”

  I felt my cell vibrate in my pocket so I stepped back from her and pulled it out, glancing down at the phone I frowned and quickly hit the button to answer.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  “Yeah, I am fine, Scout.”

  “Did you need something? Your brother’s right here.”

&
nbsp; “No, I wanted to talk to you about him.”

  “Uhm okay.”

  “Well I was wondering if he told you that his birthday is next week.”

  I smiled, “No, he hasn’t.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I figured. I haven’t been able to get him anything yet and so I told him I was going over to my friend’s house. What I really wanted was to see if you would go shopping with me to get him a gift?”

  “Yeah I’d like that. Give me a little while, I’ll call you when I can get away, does that work?”

  “Yes, but please don’t let him know, he doesn’t like me doing anything for his birthday.”

  “I won’t tell, call you in a little while.”

  I hung up glancing over at Thayne who was talking to Kale about something. , I turned and went inside in search of Cam I would need help getting away. I had a distinct feeling that no one would want me to go anywhere without another person with me, not after what had happened to Stella, and I couldn’t exactly say Nikki would be with me. The idea of getting away and doing something as normal as shopping for a birthday present sounded like a great way to forget about things for a little while.

  Chapter 51

  I walked up behind Thayne, tapping him on the shoulder, he turned his head looking at me and smiled.

  “Yes?”

  “Can I borrow your car?”

  “Uhm, why?”

  “Cam needs something from the store and your car is blocking hers so I can’t use it.”

  “Hold on and I will go with you.”

  I put my hands on my hips and bit my lip. “So now I can’t go to the grocery store without a strong man to protect me?”

  “What? No,” he spluttered.

  “Okay, well you and the guys are busy. Cam is trying to get Zadok down for a nap, and she needs diapers, so can I borrow your keys, or can you move your car?”

  “Uhm yeah, here,” he said pulling his keys out of his pocket, “be easy on her.”

  I nodded, “Of course.”

  He leaned down and kissed me softly, “Don’t take long.”