Reckless

by Teagan Kade

  *

  “Call Jasper when you get back, will you?” I glance back at Deric, who is still leaning against the tree, forehead pressed to his forearm as he regains his breath. I’m trying hard not to grin at seeing him this affected. I know his reputation, I know he gets around and that bugs the hell out of me, but I also know he doesn’t do repeats. Until me, apparently.

  I don’t really know what to do with that, but it feels good all the same.

  I’ve straightened my clothes, brushed the bark out of my hair and off my shirt. There’s sappy evidence on my back and my panties are a little more wet than I’d like, but I’m ready to set out. Somehow, sex with Deric drains and refreshes me all at the same time, even if I’m a slightly sticky, wet disaster now.

  “How many times do I have to make it clear, I’m not leaving you out here by yourself?” he asks, lifting his gaze heavenward.

  “How many times do I have to make it clear I don’t need a bodyguard?” I fire back, even though I know without him I’d have been dead last night. I’ll be grateful later, but right now I have a job to do.

  I set out and he follows, silently brooding behind me. Combing the area, I finally spot a trail of crushed vegetation leading deeper into the woods.

  We follow it for a while, mindful of not being spotted in case anyone is watching. A half hour or so passes when I start hearing sounds.

  We crest a hill and skirt along the brush away from the path, keeping ourselves hidden amongst the ferns and rhododendrons. Not far ahead of us is a camp.

  I grip Deric’s arm, feeling my heart race with excitement. He looks at me with wide, concerned eyes and gives a quick shake of his head. Of course he’d want to turn around now.

  I inch closer, staying hidden and creeping around the camp. No one is visible. They’re either asleep in the dark green canvas tents or out somewhere.

  That’s when I spot them. Two people tied up in the center of the camp. Their feet and hands are bound, hog tied and connected to each other in uncomfortable looking positions on the ground with dirty gags in their mouths. My heart lurches at the sight.

  Hostages… Shit!

  I knew the campsite was trashed and I knew there was a chance of this, but seeing them like this… well, it just became real. Like, really real. I was hoping to figure out where they were, maybe collect some physical evidence and make a plan to come back and shut this down. But now I can’t leave without these people.

  Deric crouches beside me. I point them out silently.

  “Don’t even think about it…” he whispers. “There is no way you’re going to get them out of there safely.”

  I glare at him. “Yeah? And what do you think is going to happen to them if we leave here? You think they’re keeping them like that because they’re going to let them go? Those two are dead if we leave them…”

  “No! Edie, damn it, you’re so hell-bound to prove yourself you’re not looking at this clearly! You’re too important to me to let you—”

  I level him with a stern expression. “Yeah? Well, if you think you know me at all, then you know why I can’t walk away now. Those are innocent people, Deric. Don’t worry, I have a plan,” I say, crouching low to the ground and creeping forward.

  “Edie!” Deric dives out and grabs me, knocking me off balance. My foot slams down against a rock pile and several of the larger, round stones kick loose, tumbling down the slight slope towards the camp, stopping when they clatter against a square metal box.

  “What the hell was that?” someone mumbles in the tent nearest.

  Both of us scramble back into the woods. Whoever was in the tent comes out and calls to the others, voices rising in the camp.

  The surprise we had working for us is lost and we race away. I could strangle Deric, but for now, we both need to run as the voices get louder. If they don’t realize it’s us, they’re at least aware that someone is out there… and they’re coming to find out who.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  DERIC

  My breath is coming in short, shallow bursts and it has nothing to do with asthma. Seeing Edie stalk forward towards the camp, knowing there were men with guns who wouldn’t think twice about killing her caused just about every nerve in my body to short circuit.

  We’re running through the woods now. There’s an ATV following us from the sounds of it, which means we need to get out of the open.

  If it was just me, I might have considered a ballsy move like the one Edie went to make, but it wasn’t me and I couldn’t bear to watch something happen to her. I know I’m every kind of jackass for doing what I did, but I don’t care because it kept Edie alive and next to me, and at this point there’s very little I wouldn’t do to ensure that.

  I see a familiar creek and reach to take Edie’s hand to guide her. “This way.” She avoids my hand like it’s poisonous.

  Her eyes are big and full of hurt and I know it’s me that put it there.

  You know what? Fuck this.

  I shouldn’t have to feel guilty about what I just did. What the hell was she even thinking walking in there like she’s fucking Schwarzenegger or Stallone?

  People die out here on a good day with no bad guys after them. The odds aren’t exactly in our favor right now. This isn’t the time to be taking stupid, GI Joe risks.

  “Fine,” I say, angry and resigned. “Just follow me and stay close.”

  I start jogging upstream and glance over my shoulder to make sure she’s still there. She’s so beautiful and petite. Like a small bird stubbornly making its nest on the side of a cliff. All outside appearances would convince anyone of the sheer insanity of it, but she’s bound and determined to prove them wrong. She’s got enough conviction to her I don’t doubt she’d just about sacrifice herself to make that point.

  I admire her resolution but frankly, I’d rather see her alive. At this point, she’s in very real danger of me throwing her over my shoulder if that’s what it takes to keep her safe.

  Our boots sink into the muddy bank as we jog until we come up to the rock face of a cliff. In the middle is a thin waterfall that pools into a large, natural punchbowl that has been pounded out over time by the steady force of falling water. The rock wall seems to jut inwards just above the punchbowl, creating a natural shelf that’s shadowed and hidden from sight.

  As we get closer, the waterfall doesn’t seem quite so thin and the spray off it soaks us both. I lead the way, edging carefully along the outer rim of the punchbowl until we’re under the shelf of the cliff above and we come up behind the waterfall. To my surprise there is a split in the rock and it has all the makings of a fracture cave. I don’t like being trapped in a dead-end if they track us there, but there’s nowhere else to go and the ATV sounds closer and closer.

  I climb over the large rounded boulders and drop down, my boots splashing in about a foot of water.

  I turn around to help Edie but she’s already splashing down behind me.

  She stalks towards me. Even in the faint light I can see the anger. “What the hell are you thinking?”

  I set my jaw. “I could ask you the same damn thing for starters! And for seconds, lower your fucking voice before those guys find us, will you? Shit, it’s like you have a death wish.”

  Not that I’m generally one to lecture on the matter…

  Her arms are crossed and her cheeks are flaming red. “Let’s get this all out right now because you seem to be laboring under a very deep misapprehension. I don’t care how good you are in bed, you don’t get to order me around like I’m your property. I am not yours to command!”

  I grit my teeth, pissed off to no end, but I know if I blow my top it’ll just make things worse. I manage to smirk. “So, you think I’m good in bed, huh?”

  She throws her hands in the air. “What is wrong with you?”

  It’s an offhand comment, but it strikes nonetheless and I flinch. I’ve always been secretly defective, damaged, the kid with the inhaler who had to sit out gym class—the imperfect one in
the perfect family.

  “You know, for what may be one of the few times in my life, I’m the voice of fucking reason here. You’re so goddamned hellbent on proving yourself that you’re not seeing things clearly!” I fire back.

  “Yeah? Well, you’re so hellbent on controlling everyone around you, maybe you’re not seeing things clearly either! I’m not yours to control!” She’s breathing hard, anger or cold making her tremble.

  And she’s right, she’s not mine. But I want her to be… fuck, maybe even for forever.

  I want her… and not just sexually. I want all of her goodness, all of her conviction, her adventurousness, her fearlessness, the way she hates sharing food, her action movie habit, her stubborn defiance. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who so thoroughly upended my expectations in every vein. Even her pet was a shock. She’s one surprise after another and I want to unveil them all.

  Which means we need to get out of here. This isn’t exactly the place I’d choose to have this sort of life-altering realization.

  “We need to get out of here. This is too dangerous and we don’t stand a chance against that many armed men.” I keep my voice calm, hoping to move past this argument.

  “Not now you’ve killed our chance of surprising them, no!” she fires back. “Either way, I’m not leaving without those people.”

  I know I’m wrong, but I can’t help but argue. “Are their lives worth more than yours? I don’t think so. Besides, what good would it do for you to get yourself killed along with them?”

  She’s shaking her head at me, “I can’t believe you’d even suggest leaving them here. They’re completely innocent in all this!”

  “Yeah, well, excuse me for being selfish, but did you ever consider maybe I fucking give a shit about you? Maybe I’m not okay with you marching off like some reckless fool?” My voice comes out louder than I mean it to and I have a feeling I’m going to regret some of this later, but at this point I’m too frustrated to hold back.

  “Reckless fool?! You could use some practice ‘caring about’ people, because if you had any idea what the meant you wouldn’t be trying to tie my hands behind my back and asking me to defy every instinct I have!”

  “Fine!” I snap back. “I’ll go back for them, but you will head back to the vehicles and get to cell reception to call for backup. I don’t want you anywhere near that camp again. Actually, I will hike back with you, then I’ll go back for the campers.”

  “Uh, no. If anyone is going back for those campers, it’s me. You might think I’m some disposable bimbo—”

  Is this some kind of dig at my sexual history? Whatever, I don’t have the patience right now to talk over that whole train wreck waiting to happen.

  “—who can’t take care of myself, but I’m not.”

  Before I can think better, I fire back. “Right, you can take care of yourself—like when you got shot? Sorry, but I’m not interested in witnessing the sequel to that.”

  The silence that ensues tells me my point landed, but I’m not sure the cost. Still, it was true.

  And then, because fortune couldn’t fuck me any more than it has today, the whole damn cave vibrates with a massive clap of thunder. I poke my head outside enough to see a layer of inversion fog rolling in, rain spraying the surface of the punchbowl.

  “Shit, it’s a thunderstorm. We’re stuck here until it passes, too high of a chance of a mudslide,” I grumble, turning around. She’s standing away from me, arms crossed and staring at the ground.

  I sigh, rolling my shoulders. “Look, Edie… I didn’t mean—”

  “Yes. You did.” Her words are quiet and clipped.

  She stalks back further into the darkness and I have the distinct feeling that I’ve just crossed into very bad territory.

  “Edie…” I call to her, but she doesn’t turn around.

  “Just leave me alone.” Her voice is hollow and blunt and it makes me shiver.

  I’ve probably been enough of an asshole already today, and she’s not exactly going anywhere, but I can’t leave it like this. I can’t just realize I want her for good and be okay with this fight hanging between us. I need to know I haven’t just fucked things up beyond repair.

  She’s retreated a good distance into the darkness and the ground rises, my boots meeting firm, dry ground. I jog in the dimly lit space, catching up to her.

  I know she wants me to go away. Maybe if I cared less, I could.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  EDIE

  “Look—I’m sorry,” Deric’s voice comes from behind me, but I can’t bring myself to turn around and face him.

  I’ve had this same conversation enough times before, I know how it goes. He’ll sandwich another dig at why I’m not competent enough to take care of myself between two offerings of peace, but I’m not taking a bite.

  I gather my arms around myself, fighting off the chill. The spray off the waterfall misted us enough to soak me through. If that wasn’t bad enough, we landed in cold, standing water. My thick wool socks feel like goopy wet blobs in my boots and my toes are slowly losing sensation. It doesn’t help the cave is completely devoid of heat.

  I need to keep moving to stave off the cold and to ease my flustered emotions. I want to just be angry, to just be insulted, but it’s more than that. I’m mad, no doubt, but I’m disappointed and it’s not even with Deric. It’s with myself.

  How did I get to thinking he’d be different? How did I manage to convince myself he wouldn’t steamroll right over me?

  Sure, we’ve got a strange chemistry I can’t explain. I want to shove him and wrap my legs around him at the same time. It’s intense and consuming and maybe that’s the problem.

  I let myself go too far down this rabbit hole, let my guard down and let him in. He keeps hinting at there being more to this than just the sex, and dummy I am, I fell for it. Part of my brain opened to that possibility even while I tried to keep my distance.

  I’m not sure when it happened, maybe it was when he made me that burnt, salty roast. Maybe it was when he helped me through the panic attack. Hell, maybe it was when we went that first night and were up in the tree together.

  Whenever it was, it’s done, and the damage is too. Just as I should have anticipated, here he is trying to take away my control, trying to put me in a neat little box where I can’t hurt myself, like I’m a porcelain doll that needs to be locked away.

  It’s a struggle I’ve fought my whole life.

  “You’re my princess. I can’t have you out there in the mud with the boys getting bruised up. Look at them, they’ll break you in two.” I can still hear Pop’s voice, gentle and rich smiling down at me when he told me I couldn’t play football with my brothers.

  Or how I couldn’t go see Kill Bill when it came out. Or how Johnny had to chaperone my prom date. Or when Pop had to run background checks on everyone on my dorm floor then insisted I move when it came out that the RA had been busted for underage drinking when he was sixteen. Or when my degree had to be psychology because what was I going to do with a criminology degree anyway?

  A hundred little memories of having my choices made for me and it’s not okay. It’s not okay they did it because they loved me. It’s not okay they did it to protect me. It wasn’t okay then and it’s not okay now.

  “Damn it, Edie, will you just look at me?” Deric’s voice breaks through my thoughts.

  I spin around, my hands balling into fists, blood pumping hotter than it has any right to in this cold rocky hole.

  “Why? So you can talk down to me again and remind me why I don’t date guys like you?”

  His expression is resigned, exhausted maybe. Good. I’m exhausted too, exhausted from the slow march that was always leading to this moment.

  “Will you just cut me some fucking slack here? What do you expect me to think and do? You march off like some cocksure greenhorn into the middle of the fucking forest to go chase a group of organized, armed poachers. Just get out of your own head for a damn minut
e and think about how that looks!” he fires back.

  We’re both tired, I can tell. Adrenaline wears a body down fast, and so does the knowledge someone is out to kill you. But I don’t have time to be understanding and patient.

  I lift my chin. “Frankly, I don’t care how it looks. Sleeping with me doesn’t entitle you to interfere with my life.”

  I can see and hear him curl his lip. “Go figure. Just what exactly would entitle a guy to have an opinion about you risking your safety?”

  I stalk towards him. “Well, this may come as a newsflash to you and your ass-chasing ways, but it takes a hell of a lot more than a few rounds in the sack before I’d let a guy start making decisions that affect my life and my livelihood. I know the concept of anything beyond one night is new to you, but in the real world, sleeping together three times doesn’t exactly give you property rights.”

  “Right, because this all meant nothing, is that it?” He’s shaking his head and moving slowly towards me with a predatory kind of prowl that sets my nerves on fire. “This was just another notch on my bedpost? Deric, the manwhore, the slut, the ‘devil.’ You think you were just another lay under my belt. I’m all about the conquest, right?”

  He’s an inch away from me and his voice is so deep and menacing right now. Even while I know he’s taunting me and even while I know I can’t let this go any further, I’m turned on by it. I don’t know what’s more wet—my socks or my panties.

  “Yes,” I answer.

  His fingers brush a wet tendril of my hair off my cheek. “You’re right.”

  What?

  Well, I guess I walked into it.

  “I am about the conquest, but just this one. I want you, I crave you… and it drives me crazy knowing I’ve nearly lost you twice now… or is it more? I can’t even keep track of all the fucking irresponsible things you do.”

  “No one is asking you to—” I start to say.

  “Doesn’t matter. I can’t turn this off. You think I wouldn’t if I could? You think this is easy for me? My life was the picture of calm before you came in and busted the shit out of it. We’re between a rock and a hard place, you and I, and the climber in me is saying to hold on tight and power through, but the firmer I grasp, the more you seem to pull away. So tell me, what the hell do you want me to do?”