A Life Plan Without You.

by Christine Wood

  “Shit, there are different types of sex! Crap do they do books at the library? I need help. What sort of parties involve sex? I know Mum and Dad had some strange parties over the years. Lots of people used to come to our house, when Becky and I were little and we had to shut the door, put the lock on and not come down until morning. Heck, I’m a little bit naive to this malarkey, Sam I’m sorry. So did I ruin it?”

  “Fuck no baby, sorry I mean no, it was so wonderful to watch and ruin what, that was a hell of a first for me Mi cello, watching you come down, I came and wow you didn’t even touch me kiss me or anything just watching means I have wet underwear, thank you for the surprising orgasmic time you gave my soldier you gave me baby a very loud explosion, my soldiers gun has been locked and loaded so many times tonight he thanks you for the release!” I get it, enough with the damn soldier jokes I feel like a right numpty…

  “Sam I feel such a fool, I can’t… I don’t know… Do you want to do more with me now, will I be good enough and how can we do the full thing when I don’t know anything about sex, and pleasing you? Do you want me to go?” I’m shocked again, because in the train station that is running through my head right now, my brain is three stops behind my bloody mouth, and my helpers are all sat in the coaches screaming at me yes, no, don’t go there, don’t give up on him, he’s the one, Michelle he’s the one, this angel is yours! Thanks you can all shut up, but I do need a sex instruction manual please, if you have one? I should have shut up he looks upset and angry!

  “Michelle Welles, you are the love of my life, of course I want that with you again and a hell of a lot more that gift you have is mine, just mine. Sex is a learnt thing baby and there’s no right and wrong in all this, you are going nowhere Michelle Welles you are mine, and yes I agree with you its forever, always and forever baby. As to not pleasing me give me your hand please.” He put it on the damp trousers and bloody hell he was ready again! “He feels pretty damn pleased to see you again, you’re new to this and yes I have had sex, but not done all this Michelle Welles, this I am learning too. All I had before you Michelle Welles was straight missionary sex nothing more than on off up down, crude sex a no love involved sex, a quick fuck and that’s it. So quit it, as to leaving me I don’t bloody think so!”

  “You used my naughty name a lot there, sorry I didn’t want to leave you I was giving you an out if you wanted one, I really said forever? Who did you learn off then if all you have done is missionary? Do missionaries have sex and are there more positions to learn? Good job I pick up things quickly angel, tell me who I need to go to, to know these things?” He laughed at me and the missionary’s and he kissed me again.

  “Matt King baby, really he was wicked and dark, and a fountain of porn knowledge, we got his life history, not sex education. He was then mine and all the lads run to guy. He was our schools rugby coach and games teacher. Every school has a school heartthrob teacher and I bet yours has one? I’m betting he’s the games teacher?” I laughed he was right!

  “Mike Chance was ours and all the girls wanted to ride ‘The Last Chance Pony’, and I’m sure Karen-Bloody-Manning had done the deed with him, her sisters all had, I’m betting he had the full set, of the Manning sisters much fucked bits as notches on the gym doors!” Sam’s eyebrows rose and he smiled.

  “All the girls fancied him and yes I’m pretty sure he did a few in schools too as well as a couple of the sexy teachers, we had. Yep I was a spotty, prepubescent, and very teenager. I know. Hard to imagine that I haven’t always been this drop dead gorgeous hunk sat here before you.” He laughed as I thumped his shoulder.

  “Who has been telling you lies then?”

  “You, you said I was hunky and gorgeous and that you wanted me now, then sorry you passed out.” I oh-ed and blushed.

  “Really, I said all that?” I thought it was all in my bloody head, God did I actually offer up my virginity too?

  “Umm, and you said you wanted me to fuck you, so sorry baby, but not yet and I’d rather we made love not fucked. You are very crude when you are having an orgasm, baby you’re very erm wordy? Very detailed and umm sexy as hell too and yes Michelle, your right… I am going to be the one who takes your gift, baby you didn’t have to ask so forcefully, but it will happen, just not yet though.” I blushed.

  “Well… I will take your word for it Todd, continue, seems I have a gigolo, under my head. Who will need to change his pants, if in fact you did come in them, really Samuel you’re a very bad boy you really came in your pants?” He kissed me again and nodded, he continued to tell me about his hero, Matt King.

  “He set about imparting his knowledge to we band of rampant fourth year lads, the girls were taught by the resident nun, so don’t think they learnt much, apart from it was a sin, God do I like sinning with you Mi cielo.” He sat me up and kissed me again. Shit if I ached this much from this, what would it feel like, to go the whole way? Did I still want to do that? Lord, I love this man.

  “Need a drink?” I nodded my head.

  “Yes please, I certainly liked what we did, I can’t get my head around the feelings you brought out in me, I liked them, but in the same breath it was a little scary and I didn’t want to let you down.”

  “I like that too and the thing is Michelle, I’ve never had a proper girlfriend before. Not one who I took out and did the whole date thing with, or brought to see Mum, she thought I was gay if truth be told, so seeing you today eased her worries that she will be getting grandchildren someday. This side of things is all new for me too, baby don’t worry, we can and will take things easy because we have plenty of time to get to know each other and err exchange gifts?”

  Shit, shit did I really just say that, tell her she would be giving me children or mum grandkids fuck! I do the drinks, putting sugar in hers she needs the boost I drained her and it’s good for shock too. I embarrassingly take her, her drink in and sit down and pull her to my knee carefully, as we talk about my own Freudian slip, it seems we are both giving out these slipped signals, wow I’m a little flushed and flummoxed, as Aunty would say.

  I was shocked did he just say he wanted me to have her grandchildren have our children? Nah I looked at his face and yes he’s red in the cheeks. How he had only had one other girlfriend? That was stupid and there was no way he was bloody gay, thank the Lord… I sat and hugged my legs. He disappeared into the kitchen, taking the cups we’d used with him, returning quickly with a tea and his coffee. He sat down at the side of me and pulled me onto his lap, being careful not to spill our drinks and just put an arm around my shoulder and boy did he look worried, what had I done now?

  “Michelle, the baby thing was a slip of the tongue, I was just saying…”

  “Your mum wanted Grandkids I know, but you’d rather we waited more than two days into this before I produce an heir and a spare then?”

  “Err well I was, erm I wasn’t thinking, oh hell…” I actually laughed at the thought of him getting out of this easily because he was digging a bigger hole for himself.

  “Umm well we’ll see shall we? Maybe after a few years of this you will have had enough of me and my grumpy morning attitude; so can we just put it down to a slip of the tongue and agree that Mum wants a Grandchild? Jimmy can give her one if he ever gets a girl?” I want his children though, but not until I have been chef for a while, and after I come out of the navy. I laugh he’s still not settled so I kiss him and he smiles.

  Morning attitude implies so many things; do I get to see her after a night together? Hell yeah, it will be happening but not too soon, I like the idea of kids too I do I really do with her, but hell that’s years down the line, years of fun and travel first; I wonder does she have a passport?

  “I think my filters broke too, Missy I need it fixing!” We laughed and I drank my tea.

  “There’s sugar in it erg.” He nodded his head at me.

  “Drink it baby, please it’s good for shock. Please for me, you really worried me, for a while. I didn’t know it would do that
to you, Mi cielo as I said a first for me watching you enjoy yourself.” We both looked towards the door as a key was turning in the lock. I made a move to sit up but Sam whispered in my ear kissing the back of my neck.

  “No, please stay where you are Michelle.” We continued to drink, me in his lap and his arm draped around my shoulder. My head resting against him, when in he walked Jimmy.

  “Oh you’re here still? I'm off to bed wouldn't want to interrupt the after sex thing you have going on.” Sam was livid as was I, but would he hit him? Nope, I had to do something before it got to that.

  “Had a nice time Jimmy?” Sam stared at me as I scooted of his lap and gave him my cup, got up and walked over to him.

  “You, you stupid idiot. If you ever do anything to upset your mother like the way you did tonight, believe me I’ll kick you so hard in your nuts, you won’t be able to walk for a sodding week, are we clear? She went to bed ages ago because she was so upset and had a headache because she thought I was mad at her. You I’m mad at, not her. Thanks for that though, Sam and I had plenty of alone time.

  No sex was taking place idiot, but that won’t stop you reporting back to Karen that it has no doubt. Did you forget my name James? James you immature little boy, fancy you my very own personal pervert, fancy you forgetting my bloody name? Using your mother to embarrass me in your stupid mind games, now that was low James, so very low, a cheap trick James. Do it again and hurt me or your mum again and I’ll have my hockey boots on when I do it are we clear James? Now see I remember your name, remember mine, its M.I.C.H.E.L.L.E. Are we clear shitwhit?”

  Wow she’s not to be messed with and she cares for Mum too, I love my fighting spitfire more.

  “Suppose it will have to be won’t it?” He turned and disappeared up to his room. I turned to Sam.

  “What time is it?” He was grinning like a like an idiot.

  “It’s half past eleven.”

  “I'd better be making my way home, can you walk me please?” He jumped to his feet.

  “Sure baby, I’ll get your coat, gimmy a minute I need to err change?” He pointed at his pants, laughed and went to his room.

  I ran the stairs to change pants, I opened my wardrobe and stripped behind the door redressing and throwing the things in my washing bag, now words with the idiot brother.

  “Never do that again Jimmy ever or I will cut you off... Mum was dead upset and it’s only thanks to Michelle keeping cool and keeping her calm it stopped Mum having an episode, hurt me fine, but not Mum and Michelle, I will kick your arse into next week if you do it again.”

  “Like you know Michelle at all, you’re using her and when you have used her I will be there to pick up the pieces, she deserves better than you, she deserves to be treated properly not used abused and left alone when you have had enough of her, she’s sweet and innocent, what do you want from her Sam, sex and nothing more?”

  “I don’t have to tell you what I want from Michelle, but I will tell you this much, when and if she needs you after I leave her, will be a long time coming, like never or when she is old and grey, then when I’m gone fill your boot’s, but by then we will have had a lifetime of memory’s. Yes I am never letting her go James, ever get it in your head she’s mine.” He looked shocked I‘d as good as told him we are getting married and will die old and grey and happy, or he’s too thick to realise that’s what I meant? I smiled and left him to think about it.

  I heard a muffled yet heated conversation and he came back after he had done a quick change. He smiled as he put my jacket on, kissing my neck as he did umm, and then he slipped on his coat. He looked down at me his eyes seemed to sparkle?

  “You ok baby?” I kissed him.

  “Perfect, thanks for asking.” We walked home, my arm around his waist and his arm over my shoulder.

  “Have you had a goodtime tonight?” He was playing with my hair.

  “Umm yes very, thank you. Did you really enjoy the things we did Sam even not having sex, was that alright for you?” He rubbed his other hand across, my cheek.

  “Yes thanks and we will do more when we have had more than the one date, we have time and we don’t have to rush, but you are going to be worth waiting for, and I promise you baby the waiting will be fantastic, I promise you.” He was grinning from ear to ear.

  “Oh yes you’re very good with your hands Sam, I wonder if the other bits of you work as well?” He gave me the look, as his eye brow rose ever so slightly, yes, I was a very happy and hornie little bunny. We were turning onto my street. Shit mum was walking that fleabag dog of hers and had spotted us.

  She didn’t just say that, has my mild mannered girl has got a wicked side too! Umm I do hope so. She is panicking as she sees the woman walking her dog, with a silly pink bow in its hair, a neighbour or someone she doesn’t want me to meet is approaching us. She mutters shit my mum under her breath, she wasn’t expecting this tonight, I see the panic in her eyes, relax just relax why is she afraid of me meeting her Mum, is she ashamed of me?

  “Who’s this Michelle?” Mum, what do I do? Sam held out his hand and shook hers.

  “I’m Sam and I’m very pleased to meet you Mrs Welles.” She definitely didn’t expect this walking the dog tonight, and what’s betting she puts the boot in or tries to?

  “He’s my boyfriend Mum, Samuel Todd, and this Sam is my mother Susan, he was insistent that he needed to walk me home to my door Mother, his house is only ten minutes down by the river there, but he insisted I had to get home in one piece. Is that ok with you?” Sam was smiling like a fool because I’d introduced him as my boyfriend.

  She is her Mother, they look nothing alike though, but the dog is lovingly circling her legs to be petted which she does, so I can only presume she looks like her Dad? I lean forward and shake her hand. I have to Michelle is a wreck is she the reason for her insecurities? Her own Mother? Oh good I’m the boyfriend, not a friend good job too baby, she’s not ashamed of me then, thank God for that! I smile as she grips me harder. She’s afraid of her Mother but why… I hold her tighter so she knows she is safe with me, so tightly, she gasps, I’d love to protect her more. Her Mother is running her eye over me good job I changed pants now…

  “Suppose it will have to be, see you back at home Michelle. I have to walk Tilly. It is nice meet you and we will see you soon Sam. Thank you for walking her home, these streets aren’t safe anymore. I will let your Dad know you’re seeing someone. He will want to meet you tomorrow Sam at let’s say about one o’clock he will be in, and waiting, he will insist on it. He’s very traditional like that, he won’t have his Princess there running about with just anyone, not that she has ever been interested in boys, err men before? She’s quite the boring girl is our Michelle, are you together, oh sorry, I didn’t think are you, are you only friends as in boy whose just a friend?” Bitch was she being nasty on purpose?

  “Yes as in boyfriend, we’re going out and with each other, but don’t book the church just yet, but you can look however at dresses, because he’s a lot more than a friend and yes we’re very serious, so serious that tomorrow he’s coming to church with Grandma and me, I need the ‘others’ take on my new fella.”

  What rerun that last bit, I wasn’t aware I had popped the question? I was leaving that a week or two first, damn that took the wind from my sails, yes I want that I have fantasised about it for months now, in my head we have been going out for months and months already. I don’t think I like her mother very much, and I don’t think they are close either, sheisk the last time I went to a full church service was for Uncles funeral! Given my past indiscretions, the bloody church roof may cave in, though he was very understanding when I lit the candle...

  “He won’t be stopping with you long then, if you spin him the tall tales you tell me, dead people following you and speaking to you really? Oh there’s another one Michelle, who’s that old witch over your shoulder?” Bitch she told him, great he will do a runner now.

  Dead people not her too? She waltzes
off with her tiny dog. Good she gave as good as she got, and far wittier than her cow of a mother why do that to your daughter Mrs Welles? I’m still smiling at the church thing! I give her a reassuring kiss as she sighs. Her mother has a lot to answer for…

  “That would be your refection in the window mother, I swear one day you will believe, and then you will have to apologise, to me and to them.” She walked away laughing. “That was awkward. Sorry Sam.” He was still bloody grinning like an idiot.

  “No I’m fine are you? I’m sure church will be fine, I like that we’re serious though, I like that a lot Michelle. Dead people, seriously, not you too? Mum and Aunty go to see mediums and spiritualists all the time, they like to believe there’s an afterlife, they want to hear from their parents! So you see baby see I’m not easy to shock. There’s loads of things in this world that aren’t easily explained, and the afterlife is up on top of Mum’s things she has to believe in. Perhaps, that’s why she likes you and it certainly explained why she told me that I had to fetch you home for her to see, she insisted on it actually.” He laughed, thank you for not running away from me Sam. Emma, now she’s a troubled lady.

  “Oh, and sorry to disappoint you, but we’re not going to church, it’s too early to introduce you to the hell and fury of Grams church. It’s one of two we go to. Gram’s spiritualist church is a blast it is so frigging cool and then there’s St Josephs, that’s a bloody drag and as I’m a very good Catholic girl, I do two visits to mass on Sunday.