A Life Plan Without You.

by Christine Wood

  “Plenty now shush…” We arrived at mine. Only Becky and Mum were up, they were already tired and after an hour of dropping hints Sam was to leave and failing miserably, they both went to bed. We needed to talk, really talk.

  “We’re alone at last, talk to me Sam please.” He lay on the sofa, I climbed on next to him, we didn’t do anything just cuddle and talk. We discussed Blackpool again and decided yes, to spending time together and thinking about sleeping together, but holding back on the sex. Umm we’ll see I need to work on him when I get him alone. I fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me. We both woke with a jolt, when Dad set off for work, slamming the front door. I sat up and looked at Sam.

  “Shit you stopped the night, looks like a right hooks coming your way.”

  “Well, it was worth it Michelle. You’re the first girl I’ve ever slept with all night, it was so nice having you in my arms all night and if a right hooks my punishment, so be it.” Slept with all night, who was he trying to kid, because he lay looking at me most of the night kissing my head. I enjoyed it though, knowing he was there with me and yes it was nice, he was right it felt perfect.

  “We didn’t do anything stop panicking and I have to be in work in an hour, so wait whilst I change. Do you want some breakfast? The toilet is upstairs, to the left.” I kissed him. “I love you so much, how I wish we had done it now, same guilt more pleasure.”

  “No we are waiting Mi cielo and I mean it we take things slow and steady. I don’t do breakfast either. I’ll wait until later because we don’t want to be waking everyone up.”

  “You’ll be fine, everyone sleeps in Saturday follow me.” We made our way to the top of the stairs. He went to the toilet, as I grabbed my uniform, I put it on over clean underwear, I needed a wash and Sam was on his way down stairs when Becky decided it was time for getting up.

  “Shush, it’s only seven o’clock go back to sleep.” I grabbed the quickest of washes, did my hair, and dragged my backside down stairs. I made him a drink, and grabbed some toast. He looked even more worried than before.

  “Stop it Sam, we didn’t do anything, and if it makes you feel better, we won’t alright, as you said we take this and it slowly?”

  “I really do want to give you the more you want, I want it badly, you I want more than anything, but we need to get to know each other properly and for longer. I promise we will and I want it to be special and memorable, not rushed and under our parents roofs or afraid of being caught. Do you think your Dad thinks we had done it here last night?”

  “Well, if Dad did come in and saw you, Mum will let me know when I get home from work. So can we worry about it then?” He sighed. I knew he would tire of me, and being younger than he was and so much more inexperienced, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.

  “Please Sam, you’re going to hate this age thing and sex ban, please talk to me. Hell I’m sure things will sort themselves out, stop worrying.” Calmer, he arguably wasn’t, he’s going to dump me. “Right I’ve got to get to work, you get home and get some sleep, I’ll meet you where?” Please my fingers are tightly crossed that he still wants to be with me again, please, please.

  “I love you baby and I imposed the ban, not you and the age thing is only worrying you, it’s not like were ten years difference, there are just four years in it, please baby stop worrying. I’ll come and get you, you’re not facing this on your own, about eight-ish is that okay?” He was so sweet and worried, Dad wouldn’t do anything, he’d never upset me that much and he certainly would never smack me ever. Sam would learn that the more time he spent with us.

  “That’s fine Sam, stop panicking, I want you too and will wait as long as you want.” I opened the curtains and we headed out, him home and me off to work. A long smoochy kiss later and we parted ways. I headed for work, what a night, wow I’d slept with Sam and not done the deed. I’m sure things would be clearer as the day went on. I needed to get something to wear for tonight too, though I did have the black dress I’d bought for a wedding? One that Dad had said was far too old for me, and I had to take it off and put something more age appropriate on. The added bonus, the red shoes would get their first outing. So new underwear, the only thing needed. Marks and Spencer’s at dinnertime then.

  I headed for home happy, having spent the night with Michelle, no sex just sleeping. Well she slept and I watched her, but still a full night with her in my arms, I couldn’t believe it, but keeping my hands off her is becoming difficult, she’s a challenge!

  Stepping through the door, my mood changed and shit did it change, Dad was in a foul mood, he was screaming abuse at Jimmy, I stepped into the room just as he was about to raise his hand to Jimmy for the second time judging by the red face and mark on his neck.

  “Do that Dad and you get nothing from us, we leave.” He turned to me and I looked at him and then he hit my shoulder.

  “You, why are you late with my money? I’ve had to wait with this scum, until you got back boy.” I handed him over the money, he would have had it last night, my stopping out had cost Jimmy a smack and Mum was on the floor cowering. He grabbed the money and went out. I helped Mum up and put her in the chair. Jimmy poor Jimmy, I looked at his neck red and bruised.

  “It will be fine, Jimmy where is Andy again?” Jimmy shuffled in his chair.

  “He stopped at Zoë’s again.” I’m fuming I stop out one night and he stops out all the bloody time, I have had enough! I pay the blood money and he keeps his money squirrelled away tight in his bloody wallet.

  “Right go put a cold, flannel on your neck Jimmy. It will help the marks go down.” He had tears in his eyes, but he went and did it. Andy came in as I was sorting Mum out.

  “Cheers again Andy. You should have given Dad his money last night forgotten it again? The bastards had Jimmy and Mum this morning. Our Brother and Mother are scum, according to him as he hit them!” He looked at me.

  “Where were you then?” I looked at him.

  “I was out for the first time ever overnight at Michelle’s, really don’t go there Andy, not when we never know if or when you will grace us with an appearance! I pay week in week out every bloody time his hands are out, what are you saving for?” He looked at me.

  “I’m sorry, I will transfer some money to your account, I just forget because you keep doing it.” I looked at him.

  “The money isn’t the real issue, I have enough! It’s the fact that I’m the one expected to be here all the time. I am not an only child I have two brothers you both need to step up. I finally have someone I want to spend time with and I can’t, please don’t let me down again? Mum this is beyond a joke now. We cannot keep living like this! He hit Jimmy, you’re a mess and me and Andy are all sorts of messed up.” She was dead in her eyes again.

  “Stop Sam, she’s not here again, look.” We took her to bed and I undressed her and put her to bed. I gave her some of her sleeping tablets and sat with her until she slept. Jimmy was coming out of the bathroom.

  “I will stop with her tonight, you stop at Michelle’s and I will make sure she’s all right.” I was shocked.

  “Cheers Jimmy, I would appreciate that! Andy will be here later, if anything kicks off just watch your back and if he starts lock our door shove the bed in front of the door and lock yourself and Mum in her room and move the bed over the door! He has enough money to not come home for a couple of days, hopefully he won’t, and I’m sorry I was late, it won’t happen again, I promise.” I went back to bed for a while, I needed to sleep I spent most of the night looking down on Michelle.

  I woke and had a bath. Stopping in there for a while, I’m all wrinkly and cold when I get out. I dried myself and changed, I sprayed, adjusted and checked for money, cards and wallet putting on my watch I smiled, because I was going to meet Michelle. I checked on Mum and she was still asleep, Jimmy was eating pizza from the Italian at the bottom of the road. I said goodnight and headed out. I walked towards her house and I’m wondering what sort of leg break I was in for, non
e I hoped? I arrived and Susan let me in and Becky made me a coffee. Her Aunt Elizabeth had joined us, introductions given and hugs dished out.

  “Nice to meet you Sam, Susan says you’re taking our Michelle out for a late night, you will look after her won’t you?” I smiled at her family they looked so natural and normal and this was all I’d ever wanted. I smiled because this was nice, the love she must feel with so many people looking out for her?

  “I promise she won’t be out of my sight, not for one single second.” With that Michelle came down and opened the door, wow, I am so lucky, she is all mine, damn wow…

  Work went slower than usual, I thought Sam would have been in, but he was a no show, I went to Marks at dinner time red and black bra, knickers and a very pretty pair of black silk stockings, and so along with the other stuff a suspender belt was purchased, along with a second set in cream. It was like I’d been and bought contraband. I will see what it looks like when I get home, I wasn’t willing to try before I bought. I got home and nothing was said about Sam, so I went to the kitchen.

  “Mum about last night? Sam stopped the night, but nothing happened we just fell asleep talking and I think Dad may have come in for his cigs. It’s bad enough he’s already warned Sam off about us having sex, not that we have or are about to either, so can you please have a word?” She looked at me and didn’t look as though she cared one way or the other.

  “Your Dad isn’t too pleased but we would rather you were safe in here, than messing around in some God forsaken place. Just be very careful Michelle. I’m glad you’re on the pill. Dad by the way now knows about that too, I’ve explained to him why and the what not’s of it all, and he’s a little more relaxed. Is this serious Michelle?”

  “I think so Mum, no I know so. I’m not changing any of my plans though, I’m still doing the list thing and he’s fine with it for now. I’m just taking it as it comes. Right, I’m going for a bath I need to be out in an hour is Dad in or out?” Mum shook her head.

  “Dad’s taken Gramps and Grams home, they need a few things fixing before the estate agent comes Monday.” I was shocked.

  “Why didn’t they wait until Monday to go? I’m on the coach then. I scuttled off upstairs ran my bath, towel dried my hair. Shit this sexy underwear’s a bit foreign to me. It was like wrangling snakes, something that made me laugh, as I envisaged what this stuff would do to his snake? Once on though it looked great, and wow, the stockings were so amazing.

  I finished off my hair with some new gel stuff, to keep it soft and still curly. Then to the dress, it fits even better with some of the curves I’d acquired. They made the dress look ten times better than it did before, red shoes on and all done, red bag from bottom of wardrobe, just big enough for new strawberry lip-gloss, tissues, comb and money.

  There was a knock at the door it was Sam. I wondered if I’d pass muster? Well time would tell, I headed downstairs and I popped my head around the door.

  “You ready Sam?” Mum was having none of it.

  “In here Michelle, let’s see what you look like.” I made my entrance.

  “You look very nice” Aunty Liz was sitting in.

  “Is that the dress you got last year your Dad thought inappropriate?”

  “Yes Mum.” I shrugged my shoulders, they remembered the tantrum and the argument I had with my dictator of a father. He wasn’t far from it, but he won the battle to stop me growing up, he’d won that time and I sulked all night. “Yes, is it ok do I have to change?” The whole room Becky included raised their voices in unison.

  “No, you look lovely.” Sam however was silent.

  “Are we off then Sam?” He really was quite strange and quiet, oh my days had they been giving him the third degree when I wasn’t here?

  “Yes… Come on then, don’t worry, I’ll have her back safe and sound.” We’d been walking forever, well about ten steps really. It just seemed like forever, I stopped.

  “Right what have I done, do I need to go back and change?” He looked at me.

  “You look stunning and I’m the luckiest fella alive, I can’t believe you want to be with me?” I am a very happy Michelle.

  “I look fine then? Under the dress I feel like a prize goose, all trust up for Christmas.” He put his arm around my waist.

  “Why, what’s going on under the dress?” I laughed.

  “Lots, but most can be left to your imagination and why wouldn’t I want to be with you? You had me from the minute I saw you at Ridgley’s Sam.” He held me tightly.

  “I love you Miss Welles. Oh hell when did I get so lucky?” We ambled into the pub that apparently was called The Frog in’t Mud, or The Dirty Toad, dependant on your fondness for the place! This was it seems fast becoming my local. Andy was at the bar, as Sam went for drinks and I sat down, the place was packed, there were loads more in here at night and it had to be said I didn’t look out of place, the brothers Todd came back over, armed with drinks.

  “You look nice, well actually you look hot, but don’t let Zoë hear.” He grabbed Sam’s leg. “What the hell does she see in you?” Sam climbed in next to me.

  “I asked myself the same thing when she came from her room, her whole family, saying how amazing she looked and I sat there gob smacked at how different you looked, you look fantastic thank you Missy.” He grabbed my thigh, I knew then, he knew I had stockings on! Zoë came in looking like she was already drunk.

  “Drinks Andy please I’m parched, you look amazing, I was going to get the same dress, but I don’t have the legs for it.” Sam was working his way quietly under my dress. I think he was on a treasure hunt? I would allow him a little play.

  “That’s years of dance training. I knew it would come in useful for something.” Putting my hand on Sam’s, he whispered in my ear.

  “Is that what I think it is?” I laughed.

  “That depends? Dad made me wear a chastity belt is that what you were thinking it was?” He looked in horror at me. “Joke Sam joke?” Zoë got up to see what was taking her drink so long to arrive.

  “You really have pushed the boat out haven’t you?”

  “Why what’s the matter now? Really, I can go home and change, I didn’t want to let you down that’s all, and this dress I bought for a family wedding. Dad wouldn’t let me wear it, because it was too old for me. Mum put me and Becky in matching dresses, bloody seventeen and wearing the same dress as my fifteen year old sister, we looked like a couple of six year olds, bloody awful flower print dresses and white bobby socks and flat shoes, so not a good look. The other stuff is, is well yes for you, the shoes are new too.” He laughed and rubbed my thigh, God stop please you’re… Oh hell who am I kidding?

  “I’m so sorry what I should have said you look bloody amazing, and I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you.” His hands had been busy since we sat down, and I was undeniably feeling some unusual feelings.

  “That’s the answer I wanted, so the jobs a good one, my aim to look good for my fella was successfully, my mission is accomplished.”

  “Really, all this is for me? I’m dead lucky Jimmy fancied you.”

  “What’s that about Jimmy?” Andy asked.

  “Nothing he’s been a pain in the bum, hopefully he will be concentrating on Ellie for a while, and give me some peace, he’s giving me grief he’s not that happy about Sam and me chats were had and points of view discussed hope fully e was let down gently enough because if he pulls another stunt like he did with my Dad, I will drop the little weasel and he knows it!” Sam laughed and continued to stroke my thigh!

  “He gives me the creeps, I always get the feeling he’s watching us from outside your Mum’s, he’s a sicko.” Zoë wasn’t his biggest fan either.

  “Are you going on to a club later? We’re hitting the Night Owl next, then Odd Fellows, back to the George and on to Heaven do you fancy a pub crawl with us Michelle?” I looked at Sam.

  “Yes but only if that’s okay with Zoë?” She smiled, but she was well on her way to b
eing rat arsed drunk already, so in her case it would be a crawl.

  “The more the merrier.” Sam rubbed my leg, if he hadn’t wanted to go, he would have grabbed my knee hard. I had noticed though Sam was still buying me cokes, I neither want nor needed alcohol I had Sam. He however was drinking! Would I like Sam the drunk and would he even get drunk? Shit, I had visions of carrying him home. No, he wouldn’t dare…

  Andy went to the bar another round of drinks, mine however was not coke. I presumed, as it had no odour it was vodka?

  “Cheers.” Andy shouted surely one wouldn’t hurt?

  “Sam are you having fun there? It's just Andy’s got you a drink, and me vodka and coke.” He took a sip.

  “Just leave it, it’s what Zoë drinks, as to the fun yes, I can’t wait to unwrap it later.” I leaned over gave Zoë my vodka laced coke and took the plain coke Andy actually had for me.

  “See crises avoided, now what colour is my… Err sorry your new underwear Michelle?” He was nibbling at the back of my neck.

  “That would be black Sam, black with red bows, lacy and damned expensive… You better be worth it.” He smiled.

  “Michelle, well what can I say, other than thank you?” He moved his hand under the hem of my dress and worked his way up the silk stockings, umming as he got to the top, his finger worked their way around that top, his touch on my leg was soft as were his fingers, as they strummed the lacy material of my knickers. My God… I gulped as he slipped his finger into my hot and excited sex. Sam had been stroking my leg for nearly an hour, and all this at the bloody table and the feeling of him being that close made me tremble.

  “Stockings, I approve and on your legs wow, silky smooth and damn hot, in here’s hot too.” Wow, he was enjoying it and wasn’t for stopping and given it was in the packed pub, I was a little shaken. I leant in to him kissing his neck!

  “Two can play those games Sam!” I searched out the snake, shit he was already as hard as a flagpole. This would be quick because I need to get him to stop. I rubbed his crotch just a few times; he was as I said rock hard and ready. Yeah success, he was now heading to the toilet, like a greyhound out of the box. I smiled as he returned. The smile on his face said it all, he’d gotten his own relief, leaving me hanging and boy he would pay for that later.