Stranger in the House

by MacDonald, Patricia

  It was the kind of story that the newspapers would delight in. An important man like him, brought low by a child’s accusation. There would be no end to it. All those who were jealous of him would laugh and gloat to see him cut down. It all was so clear now. Getting rid of Rambo was not protection enough.

  Edward was almost swooning from the need to get some air, to sit down, to get out of there. He could not let anyone see him in this condition. Forcing one foot ahead of the other, he started quietly down the stairs. It was lucky, he thought, that he had been here and heard what he had. It had finally brought him to his senses, and none too soon.

  As he descended the staircase with the lightest possible tread, he admitted that he had always known it, deep down inside. Ever since he had learned that the boy was coming back, he knew that he would have to silence him. At least that was now clear to him. He had no other choice.

  A steady stream of people flowed by Thomas, who leaned against the wall in the skyscraper’s lobby. Girls from word processing with magenta lips and high heels clacking laughed and chattered on their way to the subway. Sober, colorless men and a few women in business suits with briefcases, as well as the forest-green-liveried building staff, passed by without looking at him.

  Thomas held his cell phone in his hand, tapping it against his thigh. He knew he would have to make up his mind soon. Gail would come along, and once he was with her, he probably wouldn’t call. By the time he got back to her apartment it would be too late.

  He wished that he had not agreed to stay there again. It was obvious to him when he woke up that morning that his accepting her invitation implied something he didn’t really feel. After tonight he was going to have to get a hotel room.

  He didn’t feel that Gail was trying to pressure him, one of her most appealing qualities to him. Still, he knew that she would not be pleased about his calling Anna.

  He just wanted to talk to her. That was all. He wanted to find out how Paul had made out at the doctor’s. And how Tracy was doing. He had left without even saying good-bye to her. Just those things, Thomas told himself, and I’ll hang up. He set down his briefcase and punched in the number.

  He turned and gazed out the lobby doors to the busy street while he waited for the number to connect. Maybe Anna wouldn’t even speak to him. It was possible. Thomas felt his stomach do a sickening flip-flop at the thought. He had never been able to stand it when Anna was angry at him. Part of the reason he had fallen in love with her was that she had such an even temper, and it was easy to make her laugh. On those rare occasions when she got angry, it turned him into a child again, helpless in the face of his mother’s constant rages. If she tried to stonewall him, he would just insist that she let him speak to Tracy. You have a right to know about the children, he reminded himself. They’re your children.

  The phone rang a few times, and he felt a queer, sick feeling all through him. He found himself half hoping that she wouldn’t answer and then, as it rang again, panicked at the thought that he wouldn’t be able to reach her.

  “Hello.”

  Thomas started and thought of hanging up. He cleared his throat.

  “Anna?”

  “Oh,” she said faintly. “Hi.”

  Her voice sounded guarded but not angry. Thomas took a deep breath and continued. “Am I taking you away from something?”

  “Not really,” she said. “I’m cleaning some vegetables.”

  He could imagine her there in the kitchen, looking over the windowsill into the backyard.

  “What do you want?” she asked in a flat voice.

  “Well, I…I’ve been wondering all day. Did you take Paul to the doctor’s this morning?”

  “Paul?” Thomas could hear the mistrust in her voice. “Yes, I took him.”

  “I was just curious. What did he say?”

  “He said…I took him to Dr. Derwent, and he seemed to think that Paul is okay. He’s going for some tests tomorrow, but he said there’s not a tumor or anything.”

  “That was good news.” He was surprised at the genuine relief he felt at her words.

  Anna hesitated. “Yes, it is good news, but then this afternoon he had another bad dream. Woke up screaming and in a sweat. Well,” she said coolly, “I’m sure that’s not what you wanted to know.”

  He wanted to protest that he was interested, but the coldness in her voice daunted him. There was silence on the line for a few moments.

  “How’s Tracy?” he asked finally.

  “She’s all right. I explained to her that you and I had a disagreement, and she seemed to understand.”

  “Can I talk to her?”

  “She’s not here now. She went over to Mary Ellen’s for dinner, and then she’s going straight to the animal shelter.”

  “Oh, that’s right,” Thomas murmured. “She works tonight.” He waited for her to ask how he was, and realized how unlike her it was not to question him. He could feel that the conversation was coming to an end.

  “Anna,” he blurted out, “I think we should talk.”

  She hesitated, and he winced at the silence. Then she answered carefully. “I think so, too.”

  Relief flooded him, and he felt like kissing the receiver. “Good,” he said. “When?”

  “I don’t feel like discussing things on the phone,” Anna said.

  “No, not on the phone,” he agreed hastily. “We should meet.”

  “All right,” she said. He thought he heard relief in her voice also. “How about tonight? Could you catch a train into the city? I’ll make reservations at that French place we like on the West Side.”

  “Tonight?”

  “Yeah. We can have dinner there and talk. I think it’s on Seventy-Fourth Street. Le Chevalier Blanc.”

  “I don’t know about tonight,” she said.

  “Why not?” He withdrew, feeling wounded by her reluctance.

  At her end Anna thought of Paul, who was listless after his day of tests and bad dreams. She did not like to leave him alone in the house. For a moment she was torn, but she realized that she could not use Paul as an excuse not to meet Tom. That would only drive them further apart than ever. She had to make the effort.

  “All right,” she said. “I’ll meet you at that place. I can be there by seven thirty.”

  “Good,” he said.

  There was an awkward pause. “Good-bye,” she said.

  “Bye.” He hung up and slipped the phone back into his briefcase. His underarms were wet, and he felt weak, but the nauseated feeling had been replaced by one of anxious excitement. As he stood gazing absently across the lobby he realized that Gail was at the newsstand inside the front door, handing over money for the newspaper. She turned and looked at him, and their eyes met. He tried to smile at her, but she gazed at him gravely for a moment. Her mouth was down-turned, and there was an unfamiliar flush in her face.

  His relief at the phone conversation was tinged by guilt. There was no easy way to tell her, he thought, that he was meeting his wife for dinner, the night after their affair had begun.

  15

  “Hello, you two,” said Anna, walking across the terrace to the edge of the pool where Iris and Edward were sitting. Iris’s face lit up at the sight of her friend.

  “Please sit down,” Edward said, getting up.

  “I can’t stay,” said Anna. “I’ve come to ask a favor.”

  “Of course,” said Iris. “What is it?”

  Edward urged the chair on her, and Anna sat down on the edge of the seat. “Tom called,” she said, “and he wants me to meet him in the city for dinner.”

  “That sounds romantic,” said Iris, picking up a towel and patting herself dry.

  “Not really,” said Anna with a grimace. “We had a pretty big fight last night.”

  “Did you make it up?” Iris asked.

  Anna shifted in her chair. She was used to confiding in Iris, but she felt uncomfortable telling her marital problems in front of Edward, even though she assumed that Iris shared
their confidences with her husband. “Well,” she said, “he stayed in the city last night.”

  “Anna, no!” Iris exclaimed.

  “So it’s important,” Anna went on hurriedly, “that I go. We have really got to work a few things out.”

  “Of course you do,” Iris agreed. “How can I help, though?”

  “It’s Paul,” said Anna. “I had him to the doctor today.”

  “Oh no,” said Iris. “Is he all right?”

  “He seems to be,” said Anna. “But he’s still edgy and suffering from the headaches. I’m worried about leaving him alone there.”

  Iris bit her lip and grimaced. “I’m supposed to leave for my health spa tonight. I guess I could put it off until tomorrow.”

  “No, don’t do that,” said Anna. “I just wondered if Lorraine or anyone was going to be here, in case he needed to call someone.”

  “Well, Edward will be home, I think,” Iris ventured, looking uncertainly at her husband.

  Edward sat up very straight in his chair. “What about your daughter?” he asked.

  “She’s at the animal shelter until around ten,” Anna explained.

  “Well, I should be home,” said Edward. “Tell him to call me if he needs anything.”

  “Thanks so much,” said Anna. “I’d hate to have to tell Tom I couldn’t come on account of Paul. That would not go over too well.”

  Iris’s eyes were sad and worried. “Anna, I hope things work out with you and Tom.”

  “Me too,” said Anna sincerely. “When will you be back from the spa?”

  “Sunday,” said Iris, stretching out the bathing cap in her hand.

  “Yogurt and massages, eh?” Anna said, teasing her.

  Iris looked slightly pained. “It’s not really like that.”

  “I’m only kidding you,” Anna assured her. “I know they work you pretty hard at those places. I hope you’ll enjoy it, though. Of course, we’re all going to miss you,” she said, turning to Edward for confirmation.

  Edward gave her a tight smile of agreement.

  “Well, I feel better,” said Anna. “I’m going to go get ready.” She bent over and gave Iris a pat on the shoulder. “Call me as soon as you get back,” she said. She straightened up and smiled at Edward. “Thanks for everything. I’m sorry about this afternoon,” she said. “He’s been so jumpy and upset.”

  Iris looked questioningly at her husband. Edward avoided her gaze. “Think nothing of it,” he said.

  Anna smiled at both of them and then started off around the side of the house.

  “Wait up,” said Iris. “I’ll walk around with you and go in through the solarium.”

  Edward’s eyes flickered as he watched the two women go off together around the side of the house. The boy would be alone in the house tonight. It was more than he had hoped for, and it had fallen right into his lap. He had to act quickly and without any hesitation. Edward’s eyelid began to twitch, but he ignored it as he began to formulate a plan for the night ahead.

  Points of light danced across the cut surface of the topaz earrings as Anna twisted her head from side to side, studying her reflection in the mirror. The earrings were her favorites—a gift from Thomas. She had hesitated about wearing them tonight. In a way they seemed a poignant reminder of a happier time. But now that she had them on, they looked right. Be optimistic, she thought. Maybe there are better times ahead. She was about to turn away from the mirror when she remembered her perfume. He had chosen it for her. With all the deliberateness of a courtesan, she applied the scent to her pulse points. Then she straightened her navy silk pants suit and started toward the stairs.

  She could hear the television in the den when she came down to the foyer. Following the sound, she went down the hall and into the den. Paul was curled up on the sofa, staring at the TV set.

  “I’m going to go now, Paul,” she said. “Are you sure you’ll be all right?”

  The boy nodded, his eyes trained on the television.

  “Tracy should be back around ten,” said Anna. “If you need anything, Mr. Stewart will be home tonight. Just give him a call. His number is by the phone.”

  The boy continued to stare at the flickering images in front of him. “Okay,” he said absently. Then he turned to look at her. “You look nice,” he said.

  Anna’s anxious face broke into a beaming smile at the unexpected compliment. “Thanks.”

  “It was because of me, wasn’t it?” the boy said.

  “What?” Anna asked, surprised.

  “He left.”

  “No,” said Anna quickly. “It was something between us.”

  Paul looked back at the TV set. “He hates me,” he said simply.

  Anna felt shocked for a moment. Then she picked up the remote and muted the sound on the set. She stood in front of the set, blocking the picture. “That’s not true,” she said. “He doesn’t hate you.”

  Paul shook his head. “He wishes I never came back,” he said offhandedly. “That’s why he left.” He stuck out his chin at her, defying her to disagree with him.

  Anna looked at him blankly for a moment, remembering Thomas’s angry words about Paul and not wanting to reveal her thoughts by her expression.

  The boy nodded, as if satisfied.

  “Wait a minute, Paul. Your father…you don’t know what it was like for him. For all of us. All those years of worrying and wondering…after you disappeared. It was terrible,” she said. “Agony. We never knew from one day to the next.”

  “Maybe he started thinking he was rid of me,” said Paul casually.

  “Rid of you?” Anna flared. “How could you think that of your father?”

  Paul did not look at her. Anna shook her head. “I’m sorry. You don’t really know him. He doesn’t always say what he feels. But you…you meant the world to him. Why, when you were born…oh, he was in heaven,” she said, seizing upon a memory that she was sure of. “You never saw anyone so happy.”

  “He’s not happy now,” said Paul.

  “It’s not that…” Anna protested. “I don’t think he…” She stared unseeingly at the shelves of books above the sofa, trying to find the accurate description of her husband’s feelings. The boy was silent, but there was a tension in his body as he waited for her to speak.

  “You see, I always believed that you would come back to us. And he…” She groped for the right word. The fair word. “He couldn’t.”

  Paul looked at her curiously.

  “I remember,” she said. “I don’t recall when it was exactly. He began to think…he would say to me that I should try to prepare myself for the worst. But I always said that I thought you would come back. He couldn’t understand how I was so sure of that.” Anna shook her head, her eyes far away. “One day we argued about your room. He wanted me to clean out your room, and I wouldn’t. He said it was unnatural to leave it the way it was and we could use the space.” Anna bit the inside of her mouth and was silent, for a moment, her eyes darkening at the recollection.

  “God, I was so furious at him. We hadn’t really talked about you for a long time before that. But I guess I knew how he felt, although we never discussed it. Until this one day—it was just after one of your birthdays—and he started in on how we should clean up the room. I wouldn’t have any part of it. I hated him for it. I remember that very well. He went upstairs, and I could hear him rummaging around, throwing things in boxes, and I just sat there in the living room, as if I were made out of stone. He began bringing boxes down to the basement, and I could hear him taking things out to the garbage cans in the garage. And I was just sitting there, watching all this and thinking that I would never forgive him for it.” She gazed over at Paul, who was watching her intently.

  “He was working, not saying anything, and then he came down the stairs, carrying a box under one arm, and under the other he was holding this elephant. It was a fuzzy blue elephant, stuffed, that he had bought for you when you were born. He brought it right to the hospital for you. H
e couldn’t even wait until you got home. So he came downstairs, carrying this thing. And he was crying,” she said quietly. “Tears were just streaming down his face.” Anna’s eyes filled suddenly at the memory. “He didn’t say anything to me, and I was too angry to care. I remember thinking, Serves you right. You don’t deserve to have your son back.”

  Paul studied her face as she remembered that moment. There was an expression in her eyes like that of someone trying to make out a sign from far away. She shook her head sadly.

  “So why did he leave now?” the boy asked softly.

  Anna hesitated for a minute. Then she said, “I think he’s afraid.”

  “Of what?”

  Anna looked quizzically at the boy. “I’m not sure,” she said. “I don’t think he ever expected things to turn out right. He’s afraid of having all this…hope.”

  Paul and Anna looked soberly at each other. Then Paul nodded.

  “Well,” she said, “I guess I’ll go.” She handed Paul the remote.

  “Good luck,” said Paul.

  Anna wanted to lean over and clasp the boy in her arms, but his wary glance forestalled her. She settled for kissing him lightly on the hair. Then, with a wave and a crooked smile, she headed for the door.

  “It’s getting dark earlier and earlier,” Iris said wistfully as she gazed out the library windows. “I hate to see the summer end.”

  Edward looked at his watch. “Isn’t it about time you were going?” He picked up a letter opener and began to tap it impatiently on the surface of his desk.

  “I just…” She faltered and then continued hastily. “I hope you’ll be all right here while I’m gone.”

  Edward stifled the urge to laugh in her face. “I’ll be fine,” he said. “All you need to worry about is getting rid of some of that.” He pointed the letter opener at Iris’s stomach.

  Iris sighed. “All right,” she said. “What are you going to do tonight?”

  “I’ll probably work on my boats,” he said.

  “Okay, well, I guess I’ll be going. I’ll see you on Sunday.”