Training School

by Andrew Cope

  BLAM!

  A second later, half of the New York Rangers team smashed into the barrier behind them.

  Spud sat back with a happy sigh, patting his round belly. They were in one of the best restaurants in Manhattan, and he had just slurped up his third plate of pancakes with ice cream and maple syrup.

  Star was happy too. They had done everything Agent Onkers had asked of them and, judging by the smile on his face, the FBI agent was impressed with their performance. I can’t wait to tell Mum about our day! Spy Dogs rule! I love working for the FBI.

  Brad Onkers was smiling because he knew that in an hour’s time the Janus mask would belong to him and Chad. These pesky spy pups had turned out to be braver, faster and more athletic than he had dared to hope. Even better, he had plenty of footage of them committing crimes all over the city. Once the Janus mask was stolen, he and Chad would get rid of the pups, the Cook family and Lara. He would post his footage on the Internet anonymously. After that, nobody would have any trouble believing that the pups had gone on a crime spree, done away with their family, stolen the mask and made off with it.

  He imagined the headlines. Canine Criminals! Marauding Mutts at the Museum. His smile broadened. In the face of such a public disaster, the British government would be forced to shut down Professor Cortex’s animal spying programme. I’ll make a toast to that, he thought, downing the last of his beer.

  Brad wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then glanced at his watch. The Metropolitan Museum was about to close. Time to head for Central Park. He reached for his wallet to pay the restaurant bill, but then he had a better idea. ‘Don’t look now, pups,’ he hissed, leaning forward, ‘but an old enemy of the FBI has just walked in! I need to get out through the kitchens before he sees me. Can you guys create a distraction? The bigger the better!’

  Spud looked at the tables full of food all around him and then he looked at Star. ‘Food fight?’

  ‘Food fight,’ agreed Star, with a nod.

  ‘Looks like you have a plan,’ whispered Agent Onkers, seeing Star nod. ‘Why don’t you get started? I’ll meet you round back afterwards.’

  Brad sneaked off towards the kitchens with his head low. Quickly, Spud jumped up on to the table, yapping as loudly as he could to attract attention away from Agent Onkers. Once the whole restaurant was looking at him, he grabbed a pawful of mashed potato and threw it at Star. ‘Bullseye!’ he barked, splatting Star in the chest.

  ‘You asked for it!’ woofed Star, scrambling on to a table that took her a little closer to the front door. The four diners squealed.

  ‘Shoo, puppy!’ one woman cried, flapping a napkin as Star swiped her cream cake.

  I’m doing you a favour. A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips! Star flung the squishy treat at Spud, catching him full in the face.

  ‘Yum!’ slurped Spud, licking cream from his nose.

  ‘Watch out!’ yapped Star, pointing over his shoulder.

  Spud turned and saw three waiters hurrying towards him with their black coat-tails flapping. Penguins! It must be feeding time! He leapfrogged across to a third table, grabbed a whole flounder in his teeth and sent it flying at the waiters like a fishy frisbee. The fish slapped the first waiter in the face and he went over backwards, knocking down the other two as he fell.

  Spud was still laughing when a bread roll bounced off his head. Star was now standing on a fourth table, ahead of him. He scooped up a cream cheese bagel and flung it at his sister. Star ducked and the bagel hit the man behind her. The man stood up and threw his half-eaten burger at Spud. It missed and hit another diner, who threw his pudding across the room.

  Soon half the diners were on their feet and food was flying everywhere.

  ‘I think our job here is done, bro,’ yapped Star, heading for the door.

  Spud followed, shaking cream cake from his ears.

  Neither of them noticed Agent Onkers standing quietly at the door to the kitchens, filming the whole thing.

  Once they were outside, they raced down the street, ducked into a side alley and then doubled back along the next street. By the time they found Brad waiting by the bins at the back of the restaurant, they had both calmed down and were beginning to feel bad about the chaos they had left behind.

  ‘Did you see that little girl crying because her birthday cake had been squashed?’ yapped Star miserably.

  Spud’s tail drooped. ‘Yes. And I’ve just realized Agent Onkers didn’t pay our bill. We ate a lot, sis! Well, I did. And super-sly Bonkers had a steak!’

  ‘Did you see the baddie he was worried about?’

  Spud thought back. ‘No,’ he barked reluctantly. ‘I didn’t see any new arrivals. Everyone was sitting down eating their meals.’

  ‘OK, pups. Let’s go,’ said Brad, striding off without giving them a second glance.

  ‘I’m not enjoying this any more,’ whimpered Star.

  ‘We have to go with him,’ woofed Spud. ‘We don’t know where we are!’ He trotted after Brad. Star was about to follow when she spotted a bright disc sticking out of the top of the bin. That’s the puck we stole from the ice hockey game!

  ‘Spud!’ she hissed. ‘Look!’

  ‘Why would Onkers throw it away?’ gasped Spud. ‘That’s supposed to be evidence!’

  They looked at one another and then at Brad’s retreating back.

  ‘Maybe Mum was right, after all,’ yapped Star, saying exactly what Spud was thinking.

  ‘Come on, sis,’ he yapped, hurrying after Brad. ‘Let’s stop being pretend FBI agents and get back to being proper Spy Dogs!’

  12. We’re All Going to the Zoo

  For the hundredth time that day, Lara stared at the man who claimed to be Brad. Ever since he had returned to the toy shop after taking the pups down to the FBI field office, there had been something different about him, something wrong, but she couldn’t work out what it was.

  Same bum-chin. Same horrible aftershave. Same cold-fish eyes. He looks like Brad, he smells like Brad, so why do I think he isn’t Brad? Maybe I’m going crazy? She thought back through the day, trying to pin down a reason for her suspicion. She couldn’t find one. The FBI agent had been the perfect tourist guide. He had taken them to Central Park, where they had spent hours riding the famous carousel, rowing on the lake, eating huge sandwiches and racing model boats. When Ollie had crashed his model hire boat into a very smart model ocean liner, they had escaped to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Now they were in a round, windowless room, gazing at the museum’s most treasured piece: the priceless Janus mask.

  I can’t fault him. The Cooks have had a lovely time. They’re even calling him Brad now, but I think I prefer ‘Not-Quite-Brad’.

  ‘Can we go?’ Ollie asked, scuffing the marble floor with his foot.

  ‘In a minute, kid,’ said Not-Quite-Brad, gazing at the golden mask.

  ‘But you said we could go to the zoo next! Can we go now? Can we?’

  Not-Quite-Brad ignored Ollie and kept on staring at the mask.

  ‘What’s up with him?’ whispered Sophie.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Ben whispered back. ‘I think he’s in lurve with that boring old mask!’

  Ben, Sophie and Ollie giggled together, and even Mr and Mrs Cook exchanged a smile, but Lara frowned as she watched Not-Quite-Brad. Why was he staring so greedily at the Janus mask? She glanced at the double faces and her eyes widened as an idea began to form at the back of her mind. Two faces, she thought, pressing a paw to her brow. They’re the same, but there are two of them …

  CLANG-A-LANG-A-LANG!

  Lara nearly jumped out of her skin as a bell rang out.

  ‘The museum is closing now,’ said the guard. ‘Please make your way to the exit, folks.’

  ‘Zoo! Zoo! Zoo! Zoo!’ chanted Ollie, leading the way to the main doors.

  As Lara brought up the rear, she looked back at the Janus mask, trying to recall the idea that had nearly come to her, but it had gone, chased away by the clanging of the
closing bell. Lara shrugged and hurried after Not-Quite-Brad and the Cooks as they made their way through Central Park to the zoo.

  ‘It’s closed!’ Ollie wailed, pointing at the dark buildings.

  ‘Never mind, Ollie,’ said Mr Cook. ‘We should be heading back to collect Spud and Star now, anyway.’

  ‘And afterwards we can go to that nice friendly hotel we’ll be staying in tonight,’ added Mrs Cook, giving Not-Quite-Brad a meaningful look.

  Lara nodded her agreement. Good idea! I’m gasping for a cup of tea and some custard creams!

  ‘But I wanted to see the polar bears,’ said Ollie in a very small voice.

  ‘Tell you what, kid,’ said Not-Quite-Brad, walking to a small door in the side of the building. ‘As a special treat, I’ll take you in to see those bears right now.’

  ‘You can get into the zoo when it’s closed?’ squeaked Ollie.

  ‘The FBI can get in anywhere!’ He blocked the door from view with his body and did something to the lock. When he stepped back again, the door was open.

  ‘Is that – um – legal?’ asked Mr Cook.

  ‘Not in my book!’ growled Lara, glaring at Not-Quite-Brad.

  ‘Where’s Ollie?’ asked Sophie.

  Lara looked around. Ollie was nowhere to be seen.

  ‘Oh no!’ gasped Mrs Cook. ‘He must’ve slipped inside. He’s already in the zoo!’

  Lara shot through the door after Ollie, imagining him crushed by a python or cornered by a crocodile. She raced down some steps, galloped along a dimly-lit corridor and came out in a large, draughty room with a stainless-steel table and two sinks in the middle. One wall of the room was lined with store cupboards and fridges and freezers full of fruit, vegetables, trays of eggs and boxes of raw meat and fish.

  This is where they get the food ready for the animals, she thought. On the other side of the room were huge windows looking out on the polar bear enclosure. Lara sniffed, hoping to find Ollie. Instead she caught the scents of sea lions, penguins and, strongest of all, polar bears! Ollie wouldn’t have gone out there, would he? she thought, imagining the worst.

  ‘Hello!’ Lara whirled around. Ollie was sticking his head out of the cupboard he had been investigating. ‘Isn’t this cool!’ he cried. ‘It’s the zoo kitchen.’

  Lara slumped with relief. I thought you were out there trying to be pals with a polar bear!

  ‘Ollie!’ cried Mrs Cook, rushing into the room, followed by the rest of the family. ‘How many times have I told you? Don’t run off like that!’

  ‘No harm done,’ said Not-Quite-Brad. ‘Kid, you’ve come to the right place to see polar bears. If you want, I can get you up close and personal. In fact, I can get you VIP access to the polar bear enclosure!’

  ‘No way!’ swooned Ollie.

  ‘Absolutely no way!’ hissed Mrs Cook, holding her youngest tightly by the hand.

  ‘Don’t worry, Mrs Cook,’ purred Not-Quite-Brad. ‘It’s perfectly safe.’ He wandered over to a door at one end of the wall of windows and yanked it open. He threw some fish into the enclosure and locked the door. Everyone moved to the window and watched as two huge bears padded over to the fish and began eating. The fake agent pressed a button and the bears were sealed in a cage.

  ‘See,’ smiled Not-Quite-Brad. ‘Once the bears are secure, the zookeeper can get in to their enclosure to clean it and change the water. Come on,’ he beckoned, ‘let me show you.’ He breezed confidently through a second door at the other end of the glass wall and into the bears’ enclosure. He stood at the other side of the window and tapped on the glass. ‘Come on, guys. The zookeeper does this every single day.’

  Delighted, Ollie wriggled out of his mum’s grasp with Ben and Sophie running in eagerly behind him. ‘Come on then.’ Mrs Cook reluctantly beckoned her husband to follow the children with her. Lara stayed close to the family. Something didn’t feel right. And I’m not leaving Bonkers alone until I figure out what it is!

  13. Show Time!

  Lara looked around. The polar bears had finished their snack and were pawing at the bars. My, what big paws you have, she thought. And what large teeth! The small group were standing in a large concrete enclosure. It had steep-sided cliffs of rock which plunged and shelved down to a deep green pool.

  ‘Go and check the temperature of their pool,’ suggested Not-Quite-Brad. ‘It’s f-f-freeeezing!’ Ollie, Sophie and Ben didn’t need asking twice. Sophie squealed as she dipped her hand into the icy water.

  Just then Not-Quite-Brad’s phone rang. ‘’Scuse me, I need to take this,’ he said, moving back towards the kitchen door.

  Where are you going? Lara padded out of the enclosure after him and caught a glimpse of his phone screen, which showed the name of the person calling. Brad? Lara felt a chill run down her spine. I knew it! But if that’s Brad calling, then who are you?

  ‘Yeah?’ said Not-Quite-Brad into his phone. He listened, stepping back into the kitchen. ‘Yeah, they’re in.’

  As Not-Quite-Brad listened to his caller, Lara stared at his face and then at the photograph on the FBI badge around his neck. Finally, she realized what had been bothering her all day. The man in the photograph had a mole on his right cheek, but the man in front of her had a mole on his left cheek.

  A twin! Brad Onkers has an identical twin brother! Double agents!

  ‘Yeah, I’ll do that right now.’ Brad’s twin finished his phone call, looked through the window and slammed the door. He turned the key and the lock clicked into place, sealing the family in the polar bear enclosure.

  Oh no you don’t! Lara leapt at the man. Not-Quite-Brad saw her coming and landed a hefty blow to her mouth. Lara slammed head first into the leg of the table. She lay on the kitchen floor, stunned, waiting for the bells to stop ringing in her head.

  ‘No! Leave her alone!’ yelled Ben from behind the glass. Tears dripped down Sophie’s face and Ollie clung on to his mum’s hand tightly.

  ‘Brad! What are you doing?’ asked Mr Cook, knocking furiously on the glass. ‘Let us out of here!’

  ‘I’m not Brad. I’m Chad, his good-looking twin,’ he shouted, his finger hovering over the cage button.

  ‘You wouldn’t,’ stammered Mr Cook.

  ‘Oh, I would,’ nodded Chad, whipping out his mobile and taking a snap of the terrified family. ‘And I will, unless your puppies can save the day.’

  ‘Why do you think he’s brought us here?’ whispered Star.

  They were in Central Park, at the back of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Brad Onkers had moved out of earshot to make a phone call. The museum was closed and there was nobody about. ‘I don’t know, sis,’ Spud admitted. ‘But I’m guessing it won’t be good.’

  ‘A-are you scared?’ whispered Star as they watched Brad stride back towards them.

  ‘Of not-so-special Agent Onkers? Nah,’ yapped Spud bravely. ‘We could outsmart him any day! We can outrun him too! If all else fails, that’s what we do, and then we find our own way back to the toy store. Deal?’

  ‘Deal,’ woofed Star, straightening her shoulders.

  ‘OK, pups,’ said Brad. ‘See that banner on the museum wall?’

  Spud and Star looked up. The banner showed a golden mask with two faces. Underneath were the words, ‘The Janus mask. More than just a pretty face.’

  ‘The Janus mask is priceless,’ Brad explained. ‘So the museum has asked the FBI to check their security for them. I’ve already had a look and I think it’s not good enough. I want you to break in and steal the Janus mask to prove it. Of course I’ll give it straight back to them afterwards, with some advice on how to beef up their protection.’

  ‘Of course you will!’ yapped Spud, backing away from the agent. ‘And I’m a monkey’s uncle!’

  ‘This is what he’s been setting us up to do, bro!’ woofed Star. ‘He wants us to steal the mask for him. ‘Bonkers may be an FBI agent, but he’s also a baddie.’ She bared her teeth at the man.

  ‘Ah, I see you two have caught on at last,
’ said Brad. ‘Took you long enough. Spy Dogs? I don’t think so. Spy Dopes, more like.’

  ‘Shut up, bum-chin!’ growled Spud. ‘Ready to scarper, sis?’

  ‘On the count of three,’ yapped Star. ‘One, two –’

  ‘I wouldn’t run if I were you,’ said Brad, guessing what they were about to do. ‘Not before you’ve had a look at this.’ He held up his mobile phone with the screen towards them. It showed the Cooks trapped in an enclosure, with two huge polar bears sticking their noses through the bars of a gate behind the terrified family.

  Spud and Star both gasped in horror and Brad sniggered. ‘What’s the matter, pups? Don’t you like this photo? I agree. It’s lacking in action. You know what would make it better? If the bears were let out of their cage. What do you think?’

  ‘Don’t you dare!’ yapped Star.

  ‘Leave our family alone!’ snarled Spud.

  ‘Hmm. I’m guessing you want the bears to stay inside the cage,’ said Brad. ‘Trouble is, my twin brother Chad is in Central Park Zoo right now, waiting to open the gate. And unless you steal the Janus mask for me, I’ll tell him to go right ahead.’ He pressed speed dial and called his brother. ‘Put it on video, bro,’ he said. Brad turned the screen to face the puppies and they watched as Chad set the timer for ninety minutes. Then Chad’s huge face filled the screen.

  ‘I’ve set the cage to automatically open in ninety minutes,’ he beamed. ‘So if I were you, little doggies, I’d get that mask. And I’d bring it here pronto.’

  Spud and Star looked at each other. ‘We have to do it, Spud,’ woofed Star. ‘If we want to save the Cooks, we have to steal the mask.’

  Spud’s tail drooped and he nodded.