by Marilyn Lee
Although I pretended to work, I didn't accomplish much and left work to walk to the park feeling confused.
As soon as I entered the park, I spotted Shane seated on a bench watching the West entrance with several bags beside him. He smiled and rose as I walked up to the bench.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi," I said, forcing a smile to my face.
He waited until I sat before resuming his seat. "How are you?"
"I've had much better days. What about you?"
He shrugged. "I'm not sure. I wanted to explain about Janine."
I shook my head. "She came to see me last night and accused me of stabbing her in the back because I wanted you for myself."
"I told her you'd sang her praises but she was convinced otherwise. I'm sorry."
I sighed. "She's angry with me now but we've been friends since junior high. We'll get through this."
"I'm glad to hear it. I would hate to think I'd damaged your friendship."
"We've been through too much together to allow any man to do that," I said confidently.
"Well, damn. I feel marginalized," he said.
I laughed and then slipped my arm through his. "Don't. You're one of the most exciting men I've ever met."
"That takes some of the sting away," he said and disengaged his arm from mine. He opened his bags. "I have turkey and provolone, ham and Swiss, corn beef and American, and chicken salad, all on wheat. What's your preference?"
I shrugged. I really wasn't hungry but knew it would be a long afternoon if I didn't eat something. "Turkey and provolone," I said.
He offered me a sandwich.
When I reached for it, he drew it back and locked his gaze on my lips. "Nothing's really free."
"Just like a man—always so damned devious."
"What do you plan to do about it?"
After a long, tense moment, I leaned forward and touched my mouth to his. "Satisfied?"
"Hell no," he said and pressed a soft, gentle kiss against my lips that although brief and devoid of passion managed to make me feel better before finally giving me the sandwich. "I have cranberry juice and cola to drink," he said.
"Cranberry," I said.
We ate half our sandwiches in silence before I looked up to find him staring at me. "What? What's wrong?"
"What about you and Darkwater?"
I tensed. "What about us?"
"Have you rekindled your romance?"
I could have kissed him for calling it a romance instead of an affair or something even sleazier. "There was no romance to rekindle. But why do you ask?"
"Because he called me this morning."
I paused with the sandwich halfway to my mouth and turned to stare at him. "He did? What did he say?"
"He warned me to stay away from you."
This from the man who had probably left in the middle of the night after returning my keys. As I had told Am, he was clearly one of those men who didn't want anyone else to have a woman—even when he no longer wanted her.
"How did you respond, Shane?"
"I told him to fuck off and that I'd stay away from you when you asked me to." He paused. "Do you want me to stay away, Sherlyn?"
"No," I admitted. "That's not what I want, but it's what I need you to do."
He narrowed his gaze.
"Not because of him but because of the need to repair my relationship with Janine. I can't do that and go out with you too."
"Don't you think you're allowing her too much say over how you handle your love life?"
I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know. All I know is that I have no family in the area. My friends are very important to me. Even though I'd love to get to know you, I just can't. I hope you understand."
"I don't know if I do or not, but I'll honor your wishes, Sherlyn."
So, like Darkwater, his interest was purely sexual.
"But if you change your mind, I'm sure you'll find me ready and eager to pick up where we left off at your apartment."
I leaned against his shoulder. "Thanks for saying that."
"I'm not just saying it. I mean it. I mean this too: if you ever need to talk or just need a shoulder to cry on, mine's available—at least until I start dating someone who might object to your using it."
The offer surprised and touched me. "Thanks, Shane," I said and leaned forward to kiss his cheek.
Of course he turned his head and our lips brushed and then clung together for several warm, sweet minutes. During the kisses that followed, I struggled with the urge to lean closer. I longed to press my breasts against his chest. Wrestling my desire under control, I finally pulled away from him.
"Part of the reason you're saying no is because of him. Isn't it?"
I shrugged.
"You're in love with him. Aren't you?"
I sighed before finally nodding.
"Lucky bastard."
"I don't think he considers himself lucky. He's not in love with me."
"What makes you say that?"
"Experience. He just wants unprotected sex with no commitment or consequences." I said and then bit my lip. Why the hell was I being so damned honest with him admitting to feelings I hadn't even shared with Amber and Janine?
"Have you ever actually met a heterosexual male who didn't?"
I turned to frown at him.
He shrugged. "Of course most of us with common sense who aren't married or in a committed relationship, don't act on the desire. However, I'd find it difficult to believe that you would encounter many males who didn't want the same thing."
"So you're saying...what? That he's probably screwing every woman he meets raw?"
He shook his head. "I doubt that."
"Why?"
"He didn't strike me as a fool and that type of behavior would be both foolish and dangerous. Although I love it, I've only ever done it with the two women I married."
"He's never been married."
"I still doubt he's screwing raw." He arched a brow. "He probably saves that level of intimacy for you."
I felt my cheeks burn and looked away from him. "You probably think I'm—"
"I think you're a woman in love with a man who had better get his damned act together before he loses you to another man who realizes your true worth."
I sighed and turned to look at him. "Thanks for saying that."
"I wish you and I had met without either him or Janine in the picture, Sherlyn."
I nodded. "So do I, but I can't change how I feel about either one of them."
"For which they should both be thankful. As for me, I'll reluctantly settle for your friendship."
"And Janine?" I asked hopefully. "Will you consider asking her out again? She really is a great person."
He shook his head. "I'm just not interested in her, Sherlyn."
"I wish you'd reconsider."
"I admit I'm tempted to ask her out again—just to please you. But what would be the point, Sherlyn?"
"You would see she's a great person."
"She'd only end up hurt. My lack of interest in her isn't going to change just because I accept the fact that I won't be getting to know you better."
We finished our lunch in a companionable silence and then returned to work. Back in my office, I sat planning how I'd get Janine to forgive me.
* * *
Darkwater
After spending hours trying to decide if I should try again with Sherlyn or just cut my losses and move on, I found myself driving to her office in the hope that I could surprise her for lunch. Surprise her? I was the one who ended up with a nasty surprise.
As I drove into the parking lot, I spotted her leaving the building through the side entrance. With traffic behind me, I continued and drove around looking for a parking spot. By the time I found one, I could see her walking in the direction of the park where we'd had the occasional lunchtime picnic. Instead of following her immediately, I went back in the building to buy two sandwiches and a drink from the vendor machines.
I'm not sure how to describe my emotions. I know I felt rage. The urge to storm across the park and knock him the fuck out was mitigated by the fact that he only responded to the kiss she had initiated. Why the hell was she kissing him after spending the previous night having unprotected sex with me.
I also felt sad and a sense of hopelessness. Those emotions won out over my rage and I turned and walked away, giving the sandwiches and drink to a man sitting at the entrance of the park.
Back in my car, I sat taking slow, deep breaths and telling myself I had no one to blame but myself. Had I made a damned move she might not now be sitting in the park trading spit with a man who couldn't possibly want or need her as much as I did. Before I drove off, I noticed Janine leaving the building.
On impulse, I got out of my car and called to her. "Janine."
She turned to face me with a surprised look on her face. She briefly glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the park before walking over to me. "Hi, Darkwater."
"You looked surprised to see me."
She looked over her shoulder again. "If you're looking for Sher, I think she's out to lunch."
"At the park?"
"I..." She shrugged. "Maybe."
"She's there all right. I just saw her."
"Did you?" She moistened her lips. "Was she alone?"
"No. She was with Shane Reddorn."
She gripped my hand. "Don't get the wrong idea. She's just doing me a favor."
"Is she?"
She nodded. "Yes. She's talking me up to him."
By kissing him?
"You don't have to worry that there's anything going on between them."
There we were: two idiots twisting ourselves into knots trying to protect a woman who was currently betraying us both. "I think we need to talk. Can you spare some time?"
"Not right now. I'm just going for a walk."
"Not to the park, I hope."
"Why not?"
"There were a couple of unsavory characters hanging in there," I lied, deciding her friendship with Sherlyn would suffer if she saw her kissing Reddorn. "You shouldn't be in there alone today."
"Sher's there."
"But she's not alone. She's talking you up to Reddorn. Remember?"
She nodded. "Yes. Right. That is what she was doing. Wasn't it?"
"Of course. What else could she possibly be doing with him?"
"Nothing," she said quickly.
Too damn bad that wasn't true. "Are you free for dinner tonight?"
She hesitated and then nodded. "Sure. Where shall we meet?"
"I'll pick you up here after work."
"Here? I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?"
"Well..." she shrugged. "I wouldn't want Sher to see and misunderstand."
I would. Maybe it would wake her the fuck up. "We're two friends having dinner. We don't have to hide that fact from anyone." Unlike Sher and Reddorn sneaking damned kisses in the park.
"Okay. I'll see you then." She glanced at her watch. "I think I'll forego the walk and return to work."
"Good idea. I'll see you later."
"Okay." She turned and walked back into the building.
I got in my car and waited until I saw Sherlyn returning from the park. The damned Reddorn walked about a half block behind her. It took all of my will power to allow her to walk past without making my presence known. As for him...the only thing that kept me from leaving my car and knocking him on his ass was the thought of how difficult it would make Am's wedding if I did. But that bastard was not going to take her from me.
* * *
Sher
I don't know how, but I managed to make it through the rest of the day. Mentally exhausted, I left work planning to spend the night at home reading and not thinking about Darkwater, my damaged friendship with Janine, or my desire to get to know Shane in the biblical sense. However, my plans were blown to bits when I walked into the parking lot and saw Darkwater leaning against his car, parked several feet from mine.
I hate to admit it but my heartbeat increased and I longed to rush forward and toss myself at him and beg him to take me home and love me just once more. Or fuck me. I didn't care. I just wanted to experience the magic that existed only in his embrace.
But wearing my heart on my sleeve with him had never yielded positive results. So I continued at a normal pace until I stopped by his car. "I'm not sure what you think we have to say to each other," I said in a voice I struggled to keep level.
"Aren't you, Sherlyn?"
"No," I said, depressed by the cool look in his eyes.
"Then it's just as well I'm not here to see you," he said.
My thoughts turned to Shane. Although I was sure he could take care of himself, Darkwater was taller and more muscular. He'd wrestled his way from high school into a full-scholarship and had kept in shape. His height, weight advantage, along with the air of barely concealed anger he could emote left me fearful should he decide to provoke a physical confrontation with Shane.
"Aren't you a little old to be here trying to start a fight with Shane?"
He inhaled slowly before he spoke. "I'm not here to see you or to start a fight with your new boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend."
He shrugged. "Seemed like he was when the two of you were kissing in public again."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the park today, Sherlyn. I saw you kissing him."
"I..."I shook my head. "That wasn't what you think, Darkwater. I was just—"
"I saw you initiate the kiss so don't bother trying to convince me not to believe my lying eyes." He turned away.
I grabbed his arm. "Thomas—"
He disengaged his arm. "Darkwater will do fine. And here's my date for the evening."
Bracing myself to see some tiny blonde approaching, I turned. Janine walked across the lot, spotted us, paused for several moments, looking indecisive.
I frowned. Surely, he didn't mean her.
When he turned and walked towards her and they embraced, I felt as if someone had ripped out my heart and shredded it into tiny pieces. Yes, I knew she was upset with me because of how things had turned out with Shane. Yes, I knew she felt I'd betrayed her with him, but that was not the same as her going out with the man she must know I still loved. That level of betrayal took my breath away and sent a shock of hurt through me I hadn't felt since Don's death.
Blinking back tears, I turned and walked towards my SUV.
"Sher. Sher, wait," Janine called out to me.
Without responding or looking around, I got in my vehicle and drove away. My phone rang several times during the next fifteen minutes. I ignored Janine's ringtone, Darkwater's, and finally Am's. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone to cry my heart out.
When I was sure Darkwater hadn't followed me, I parked on a quiet tree-lined street, and picked up my phone. I went through my calls until I found Shane's number. Taking a deep, calming breath, I called him.
"Sherlyn, what a nice surprise," he said when he answered.
"I...I...I need to talk," I whispered.
"What's wrong? Are you all right? Where are you? I'll come get you."
I looked around at the street signs and told him where I was.
"Are you all right?" he asked again.
"Physically? Yes. Emotionally? No."
"I'll be there in twenty minutes," he said and hung up.
* * *
Shane
As I left work and got in my car, I called John. "Do you know what's going on?" I asked after I'd told him of Sherlyn's call.
"Am and Janine have been calling her. Where is she? Am and I will go meet her and see her safely home."
I shook my head. "If she wanted to talk to either of
you, she would have called you instead of me. I'm on my way to her now."
"Apparently, she's misunderstood Darkwater taking Janine out to dinner. Right now things between her and Janine are strained and have the potential for getting even worse, according to Am. Look, I know you like her, but don't get involved, Shane. Where is she?"
"I’m already involved, but not in the way you imagine. I like her but thanks to your warning, that's all I feel. Like and lust. She's still in love with him and my heart is still whole and in no danger. I'm going to meet her, but tell Am I'll call to let her know what's going on."
John sighed. "Shane—"
"It's all right, Johnny. I'm in no danger of falling in love with her, but I promised her I'd lend a shoulder if she needed one. That's all I'm going to do."
"Are you sure that's all you plan to do?"
"Yes."
"Please don't sleep with her, Shane."
I shrugged. "That's not my intention, but if she wants me to, I will. Talk to you later, Johnny," I said and hung up. I knew John was right and I should defer to his wish for him and Am to go to her. But I was pissed that the first woman I'd really been interested in getting to know emotionally as well as physically in a few years was in love with a man too stupid to appreciate what he had.
I wouldn't make the mistake of falling in love with her, but if she wanted or needed physical intimacy, I'd happily oblige. I suppose, given the circumstances, I liked her far more than I should. I wasn't going to sweat it because I really wasn't in any emotional danger since I knew she was still in love with the damned Darkwater.
Chapter Seven
Sherlyn
The moment I saw Shane, I felt better. Locking my SUV, I got inside his car. We sat in silence for several moments before I blurted out that Darkwater was now dating Janine.
"Don't I wish?"
His response surprised me. "They left together and—"
"And what?"
"They're dating."
"I doubt that."
"I saw them."
"I'm sure you did, but what did you actually see? She's your close friend and he's an idiot too stupid to show or tell you how he feels. That doesn't add up to the two of them dating, Sherlyn. You and I are about to have dinner, but we're not dating. There's no reason to suppose they are either."
"She's so pretty and I'm—"
