by Marilyn Lee
"You're the one he's warning other interested men to stay away from, Sherlyn. You're the one he looks at with a deep-seated need in his eyes."
"That's just lust."
"No. It's not. Trust me, there's no way he's interested in anything but friendship with her. So what do you say? Are you up to having dinner with me?"
Even though I knew he shared Darkwater's dislike, his efforts to reassure me touched me. I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For coming and for making me feel comfortable enough to talk about him and for being willing to listen to me talk about him."
"It's an ugly job, but someone has to do it." He smiled and squeezed my hand. "Feel better?"
I nodded. "Yes. I do."
"Good. Then you can thank me by having dinner with me. I'll follow you home to park your SUV and then we can have dinner out. Okay?"
"Okay," I said and fastened my seatbelt.
An hour later, we were seated at a Center City restaurant waiting for our first course when I looked across the room and then did a double take as I saw Darkwater and Janine sharing a table with Michael and Jeffrey. As I was about to look away Darkwater suddenly turned his head and our gazes locked briefly. Then he looked at Shane and I could almost feel his temper rising from across the restaurant.
Tearing my gaze from his, I reached across the table to touch Shane's hand. "We need to go."
He looked across the room and sighed. "We're not doing anything wrong and damned if I'm going to run from him."
"It's not a question of running, Shane. It's more—"
"No."
As I tried to come up with an argument that would convince him to leave, Darkwater walked over to our table. He and Shane traded unfriendly stares. "I warned you to stay away from her, Reddorn."
"And I told you I'd do that when she asked me to," Shane said, rising.
I threw a pleading look across the restaurant and was relieved when Michael rose and slowly crossed the room.
Darkwater looked at me. "What are you doing with him, Sherlyn?"
"What are you doing with Janine?" I challenged.
"Not what you've been doing with him!"
"Maybe if you got your shit in gear she wouldn't be with me," Shane said. "And you wouldn't need to be consoling yourself with her charming friend."
"I'm going to knock you the fuck out."
"You can try but I guarantee it won't be nearly as easy as you seem to think it will be. In fact, if you throw a punch at me, you're the one who will be picking his stupid ass up from the floor."
I watched in alarm as Darkwater clenched his right hand into a fist.
Then, thankfully, Michael was there to grip his arm. "This is not the way to handle this, Thomas." He looked at Shane. "And why the fuck are you in the middle of this?"
Shane narrowed his gaze. "I have no beef with you or your brother. Need I remind you he's the one who came storming over here with threats? Why don't you ask him why the fuck he doesn't either make a move or get the hell out of the way so I can?" He stared at Darkwater. "I promise you if I get her, I won't make any of the stupid mistakes you've made with her. I won't give you an opening or an opportunity to win her back."
"If you think you can take her from me, you'd better think again—after you pick your teeth up from the floor." Darkwater attempted to jerk away, but Michael kept his grip on his arm. He looked at me. "You spend the night with me and then the next day you're kissing him? Fuck him and fuck you too, Sherlyn!" he said, jerked away from Michael and stormed across the room. He spoke to Janine and the two of them left the restaurant.
Michael sighed and turned to look at me with a cold look in his eyes. "This shit is unnecessary and should be beneath you, Sherlyn. You know damn well you shouldn't be with him." He turned his gaze on Shane. "And as for you, if it weren't for Am, I'd kick your ass myself."
"You could try but you wouldn't be any more successful than your brother."
"Why the fuck would you do this? What man worth the name needs to get off by stealing another man's woman?"
Shane inhaled slowly. "I've had it with you and your brother and your threats. I'm not afraid of either of you, but for Am's sake, I'll tell you this. I'm here only as a friend. Now kindly get the hell out of my face before I knock you on your ass."
"Fuck you, Reddorn." He turned and gave me a long, cold look before he walked back to the table.
Shane sat back down, placing his clenched right hand on the table.
"I'm sorry," I said, my throat tight with tears. "I shouldn't have called you and put you in the middle and exposed you to their anger."
He inhaled slowly before he spoke. "It's all right. They're both slightly taller and heavier, but I haven't had my ass beat since I started boxing in high school." He sighed. "However, we're going to need to work this out or Amber's wedding is going to turn into a warzone."
"It's my fault—"
"I think Amber would probably think there's enough blame to go around. Oh, fuck!"
I glanced over my shoulder to see Jeffrey crossing the room to us while Michael sat at the table staring straight ahead.
He surprised me by reaching out to place his hand on my shoulder. "You're going to need to forgive him, honey. He's in love with you. You must know that."
The hell I did.
He turned to look at Shane. "My brothers and I are close. He's in love with her and you seem to be determined to get in the middle of something you should stay out of. You'll have to forgive us if we're not too damn thrilled with you at the moment."
"I'm here as her friend, but that wouldn't be necessary if he handled his damned business."
Jeffrey narrowed his gaze. "He'd have an easier time doing that if you kept out of the damned way, Reddorn. Is that too much to ask? Imagine if this was John and Am and some dickhead kept getting in the middle claiming to be a friend when even a legally blind man could see he wanted more. I'm asking you man to man to please butt out. Please."
He nodded at me and then walked back across the room. Moments later, he and Michael left.
Shane sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller."
"I'm sorry, Shane. I shouldn't have involved you, but I just wanted to talk and—"
He shook his head. "Don't apologize for needing someone to talk to. Although I don't consider myself a dickhead, I think the last Darkwater idiot was probably right. I should butt out and leave the idiot and chief to get on with it with you."
I felt like crying. Everyone but Darkwater and I seemed to think he was in love with me and now he and his brothers had almost certainly ensured Shane wouldn't come near me again—even as a friend. And when John learned how I'd embroiled Shane in my troubles, he'd probably give me the cold shoulder as well.
"But that doesn't mean I won't be available if you need a shoulder to cry on. I will. Okay?"
I nodded, but I knew I wouldn't call on him again. Even though we'd only known each other for a few days, I felt as if I was losing a friend when we said good night at my door after a dinner neither of us enjoyed or wanted to extend.
He kissed my cheek and left.
Alone in my apartment, I undressed and ran a hot bath. Then lying in the water with the lights low and soft jazz filling the air, I finally answered Am's call. "I just need to be alone, Am," I said, making no effort to control the tears streaming down my cheeks.
"That's the last thing you need. I've talked to Janine, Darkwater, Michael, Jeffery, and Shane. I know this has been a horrible day for you. This is when you need your friends most, Sher. I'm coming over."
"No. Please. I just want to sit in the bath and cry tonight. Let's have an early breakfast tomorrow."
"Sher—"
"Please, Am. I just can't take anymore tonight. Please. We'll do breakfast tomorrow."
"Oh, Sher, are you sure? I'm going to find sleep difficult thinking of you crying alone."
"It's what I need t
o do. In the morning—"
"What? In the morning will you give Darkwater another chance?"
"He practically told me to go fuck myself and he left with Janine."
"You know damned well he's not interested in her any more than she's interested in him. They met tonight to discuss how he could win you back from Shane."
"I'm not in love with Shane, Am. I never have been."
"But you're in lust with him."
"Yes," I admitted. "But thanks to the damned Darkwater brothers, he won't come near me again."
"You can hardly blame them for trying to guard Darkwater's interests."
"Oh, really? Are we talking about the interests of the same Darkwater who admitted to sleeping around since our breakup but thinks I should just keep my knees pressed together and wait for him to come for another drive-by fuck and run?"
"He's a man. That's what they expect us to do."
"It doesn't make it right or mean I have to fall in line with his damned wishes while he fucks a different woman every other damned night, Am!"
"I know, but let's face it, Sher. Women do a lot of unfair shit for the sake of love." She sighed. "He's hurt and he needs your understanding. Believe me, I know it's a lot to ask, but weigh it against the facts."
"What facts?"
"The fact that he's in love with you but doesn't know how to handle it or admit it."
"Then I don't know what you expect me to do about a man who won't admit how he feels, Am."
"I expect you to try to understand him if you love him as I know you do."
So I was expected to continue to give and give while he took and took? "I'll talk to you tomorrow," I said and hung up.
I turned up the music loud enough to drown out the world outside the warm bath and spent another half hour in the tub crying. When the water cooled I got out, wrapped a towel around my body and walked into my bedroom.
I came to an abrupt halt in the doorway. The nightstand on either side of my bed held a vase filled with red roses. And Darkwater rose from the chair near the window.
I was so surprised, I allowed the towel I just begun to wrap around my waist to fall at my feet. "What are you...how did you get in?"
"You still haven't changed your code or your locks."
"I'll remedy those oversights tomorrow, but that doesn't explain where you get off coming in here uninvited. Not after you left with Janine and..." I frowned. "How did you get in when you left my keys on the nightstand?"
He shook his head and reached in his pant pocket to reveal the keys I'd given him. "As you can see I still have your keys."
"I don't understand. You left—"
"I left another set of my keys on the nightstand in the hope that you'd come back to me."
"No."
"Yes, Sherlyn."
Reaching down to scoop up the towel, I wrapped it around my body and walked over to the nightstand to open the top drawer. As he'd said, the keys inside were his. Not mine. I frowned. How the hell had I confused the two? I closed the drawer and turned to face him. "That still doesn't explain why you're here."
"Why the hell do you think I'm here, Sherlyn?"
I knew why I wanted to believe he was there—because what everyone said was true and that he was in love with me. But after all I'd been through, I needed to hear him say how he felt. "I have no damned idea, Thomas."
"Then let me show you," he crossed the room, reached for the end of the towel, and tugged until it fell to the floor. He stared at my naked body for several moments before meeting my gaze. "Damn, you get more sensual every time I see you, Sherlyn."
I inhaled quickly, my heart pounding.
Kicking the towel aside, he pinned me to the wall, burying his lips against my ear. "I'm here to claim what's mine."
Oh, God, I was so hopeless when it came to him. Surrendering to my need, I melted into his embrace, slipping my arms around him. "What's that?" I whispered.
"You," he said in a brusque voice before he turned his head and brushed his warm, insistent lips against mine.
The taste and heat of his mouth moving over mine while his big body pinned me against the wall quickly aroused the need and desire for him that had always lurked just beneath the surface.
Within moments of our first kiss, I heard his zipper slide down. Then I felt his bare cock lying between our bodies. That was a precursor to the greatest feeling in the world. Mindless with need, I sucked his thrusting tongue between my lips and reached down to close my fingers around him. As we continued to burn each other's lips with hot, biting kisses, I quickly pumped and massaged him to a full erection. Then I reached down to cup my hand under the balls heavy with the cum I longed to have filling my pussy.
He groaned, tore his mouth away from mine, and stepped back.
As I watched by the light of the full moon that filled the room, he quickly undressed. When he was nude with his cock standing at complete attention, he rubbed against me. I experienced the absolute joy of having his big shaft pressing against my pussy, demanding to be allowed to slide deep inside it and straight into my heart and soul.
Even as I parted my legs, I caught myself. No matter how wonderfully delicious it felt, nothing good ever came of our having raw sex. I couldn't take another morning after like the last two.
I managed to summon the strength to press my hands against his abs in a weak, half-hearted effort to keep him from spearing me with his bare cock. "Condom," I whispered.
"You're mine and I want it raw."
"Condom."
"I need it raw and I know that's the way you want it too," he responded, rubbing his cock against my slit.
"Wants and needs never end well for us. You need a condom."
"No more barriers between us."
Although I ached with the desire to feel his bare shaft-powering deep into my pussy, bitter memories of how things had gone wrong each time we fucked raw overwhelmed me. "We can't," I said, weakly shaking my head.
"We're going to, sweet girl."
To finally hear that cherished endearment again, crumbled my defenses. This was the man I'd always loved and knew I always would love. What could be more right than sex with him with nothing between us but our mutual desire and need? At that moment, I knew that even if he didn't love me, he wanted me. And just for that moment, overcome with my love and desire for him, it was enough.
"Tell me you want and need it raw too."
"I do," I admitted while still pushing against his abs.
"Then let's enjoy and explore the wonder of sharing it again, my sweet, sensual girl." He took my hands in his and kissed them before pushing his hips forward.
"Oh!" I clutched him close as he slowly eased his hard, bare cock deep into my pussy. "Oh...god!" Holy fucking happiness. He was buried inside me and we were locked in an embrace that had never felt better or more right with any other man.
This was why I'd been born a woman, to love and please him. I closed my eyes on a wave of desire and need so strong, I felt lost it in.
"No. No. Keep your eyes open, Sherlyn."
His sudden, sharp demand threatened to pull me out of the moment. Oh, hell. Not that again. "Why?" I asked, reluctantly opening my eyes to look up at him.
He stilled the delicious movement of his cock to stare down at me. "So you won't forget who the hell you're with! When you close your damned eyes you forget you're with me and call out..."
Without his having to finish the sentence, I suddenly knew why he'd turned cold after we'd had raw sex; I knew it was my fault. And I'd compounded that horrible mistake by ending our relationship without bothering to insist he tell me why he'd cooled towards me. I lifted my hands to cup my palms over his cheeks. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I've always known when I was with you."
"The hell you have!"
"I have," I insisted.
"Don't lie to me!" Placing his hands on my shoulders, he pulled out of me and stepped back.
While I stared at him in shock, he bent down to reach for his pants.
>
And I just knew that if I allowed him to walk out again, it would be for the last time.
I rushed forward to snatch his trousers from his grip and tossed them on the other side of the bed. "I'm not lying. I know what I did, but I can't explain it because I've always loved you."
"Really? What about when you were kissing Reddorn or engaged to Don? Don't you tell me you didn't come close to sleeping with Reddorn or that you didn't love Don."
Hearing the pain and jealousy in his voice, I wondered how I'd never understood his need for reassurance that I still loved him before. I placed my hands on his chest and looked up into his dark, angry gaze. "Shane is a handsome, charming, and kind man, but then so are you."
He shook his head. "That's not good enough, Sherlyn."
"Okay. I was sexually attracted to him, but I wasn't in love with him. If not for Janine, I would have happily slept with him."
"I'll bet you would have."
I compressed my lips. "Like you, I had needs. Even if I had slept with him, I would still have been in love with you. And speaking of Janine, what the hell were you doing with her?"
"You can't really think either of us have any sexual interest in each other. She was hurt because that dumbass Reddorn couldn't see past you to her. Even though she clearly wanted him for herself, she spent the entire night trying to convince me that I'd misunderstood that kiss in the park."
I sighed, annoyed that I could have thought otherwise. "She's always been a good friend. I have to call her today and apologize for being such a bitch."
"She'll be glad to hear from you."
"Now tell me why you asked her out and made sure I knew?"
"Because I wanted to make you a little jealous."
"Well you did."
"Good. Then you know how I felt when I came to surprise you for lunch today and found you in the park happily kissing Reddorn."
Oh, damn. "What you saw was nothing."
"What I saw was you kissing him! Say what you like about me, I've never kissed another woman in your presence."
That was true enough. "I didn't know you were there and it didn't mean anything."
"It meant something to me and I'm sure he enjoyed it."
I sighed. "I'd just admitted to him that there wasn't going to be anything between us because of Janine and the fact that I was in love with you. He's been very kind to me. The kiss just happened, but it meant nothing."
