Brutal

by K. S. Adkins

  “So god damn soft,” he whispers, rubbing my belly and sides. I lean up to get reacquainted with his magnificent cock, and can’t believe as different as we’re built, how we complement each other perfectly.

  Stroking his cock with minimal finesse, I want to bring him near my mouth and fight off the urge to swallow him whole. Staring at it, grabbing it, I’m kicking myself for not reading a book or watching more porn.

  “God you’re big,” I murmur to myself, because I can’t believe men are made like this.

  I’ll fit him in there if it’s the last thing I do. Stroking my lips with his fingers, he mumbles how wet I am. I show him that I’m ready by pulling him down toward me, so I can cradle his body. Yes, the weight scares me, but if there is one person in this world that I know instinctively won’t hurt me, it’s him. We don’t have experience, but down deep I know this is the best way to do it. If I can get us through this, I can get us through anything. I can see his worry for me, but this is right, I know it is. I never expected him to be the one who needed convincing though.

  “If you need me to stop, I’ll stop,” he promises.

  “I know,” I say. “I trust you.”

  “Don’t close your eyes,” he pleads. “I need you with me.”

  He’s sweating so much that I use my hand to wipe his face. I should feel guilty his first time is with someone like me, but I’m not. Our eyes are both heavy but open. He looks down briefly, to make sure he’s in position, then the moment we’re aligned, his eyes come back to mine and I know this is going to be okay.

  When he enters me just a bit, he pauses to gauge my reaction. Yes, I feel pressure and stretching, but I also have an abundance of scar tissue so I think it’s dulling the pain, at least that’s what the doctor said might happen. I take my heels to his ass and pull him closer. The stretching turns to burning and it’s a pain I welcome. It’s a pain I choose. It’s also a pain that’s temporary, because when he moves just a little farther in, the burn lessens, allowing my muscles relax.

  “More!” I cry out.

  He starts to work his hips a bit, and holy fuck, is that an intense feeling. I feel myself getting wetter, my body hotter. My walls start to accommodate him, magnificent.

  “Hurting you?”

  “No,” I barely manage. “Keep going.”

  “So fucking tight, feels like I’m breaking you. Shit, do I keep going?”

  “It’s so good,” I promise him. “Too good. You won’t hurt me, go deeper.”

  He nods and works his way deeper inside, so I lean up to watch our joining, and it’s such a puzzle to me. Seeing how we fit, making sense of it. He’s so big compared to me, yet when you put us together, it’s a perfect fit. Amazing. He’s holding back, I can feel it, but I refuse to accept it. He wants to let go, I can feel he wants to, I need him to, we need this. Acting on instinct, I raise my hips up, grip his sides with my legs, plant both hands nails deep in his ass and beg him give it to me. There’s no fear in me, zero. It’s taken ten years, but tonight I’m fearless.

  “So fucking beautiful,” he growls, staring into my eyes. “So fucking brave.”

  Staring back at him, I say the only think I can think of. “So fucking yours.”

  Those words must have resonated with him, because he suddenly slams in deep then goes for my mouth, wrapping me in his arms. He leans on his side with my legs around him, keeping the bulk of his weight off me, and then begins a steady pounding. Over the years I’ve thought about this; sex, joining my body with another but there was never another worth it. Now there is, and it’s everything I’d hoped it could be, but yet it's more. We have different rhythms: fast, slow, furious and desperate. Wandering around in the dark is what I’m used to; it’s simply what I do. What’s happening right now is a gift, wrapped all around me, blowing his air into my mouth, gripping my hips, biting my lips. He’s the gift, the grand prize. The man buried inside of me turned on the light. Now, I can see everything.

  If there is pain, it doesn’t register. Only him, only pleasure. His and mine. Eyes locked on each other allow me to see him. He’s not hiding, though, it’s all there. Our beings are in sync even if our bodies aren’t, and never in my life have I ever felt this beautiful, this safe, or the single focus of any one person.

  The look in his eyes is territorial, and I know mine are identical. I’d destroy anyone who tried to take him away from me, or kept me from getting to him.

  “Fucking mine,” he pants, still pounding into my pussy at a steady rhythm.

  “Fucking yours,” I breathe, because this heavy feeling in my core is my signal that I’m about to scream.

  “Look at me.” I immediately comply. “This Pussy? Mine.” He pounds me once. “This body? Mine.” He pounds me again. “That heart? Mine.” He pounds me a third time, and then pulls almost totally out before pinning me with his eyes. Looking down at our joining, then up to my eyes, he undoes me. “All that shit? Belongs to me now.”

  Grabbing Rogan’s face, I sink my hands into his beard while I devour his beautiful mouth. His thrusts get out of sync, his breathing choppy. When he finally lets go, I can feel him fill me up. He kisses me so hard that I dig my nails into his ass to let him know I get it; that I feel it, too. Watching him come down was as beautiful as watching him explode. Orgasms are so much hotter with two people. He growls, kissing me gently now. I run my hands up and down his back to calm him, and find it calms me too.

  He stares into my eyes and says, “Trust me.”

  He pulls out of me slowly, looking into my eyes, licks his lips, spreads me open and takes my entire pussy into his wet mouth. I scream out, the pleasure so intense, that I get a cramp in my left calf, and it doesn’t even faze me. Both of our eyes are open, and watching him moan and bury his face into my pussy while eating me clean sends me into orgasm. I alternate between grabbing his head and the sheets but decide I like his beard best. The bottom of his beard is erotically stroking my pussy lips and the inside of my thighs while his mouth works magic. Fuck me, what I have been missing?

  “Rogan, I’m going to come on your face if you don’t move!” I scream, giving him fair warning since I don’t know what to expect.

  He growls his approval by getting even more aggressive, so when his eyes light up I can’t take it anymore. Seeing his pleasure in pleasuring me has my back locking up and my knees grab his head in a vice. He brings his arm around my waist to secure me then sticks one big finger into my mouth, I detonate. I bite down on his finger…hard. Never taking our eyes off each other, I come so hard tears run down the sides of my face. Finally realizing I bit him, I suck his finger instead, then whimper because I feel so god damn good. Looking up at me he licks his lips then lies next to me, and we kiss for what seems like eternity, but still not long enough.

  We lay here together, still connected. Arms, legs, lips, eyes, all of it. I’ll analyze this another time, but right now I’m fucking happy. It’s been ten years since I’ve felt happiness even close to this. I found it with the detective; I refuse to wonder if it’s healthy or if it’s too soon. My life is what it is, and I accepted it a long time ago. Knowing he’s there with me in the dark places is a peace I never thought I’d be blessed with.

  Arms wrapping me in safety, he lifts my chin up so my eyes meet his, and with three words he undoes me.

  “Please be mine,” he whispers never breaking eye contact.

  “I was yours the second you walked into that room, Detective,” I reply, curling into him with a smile on my face.

  Until now, I never understood what drove men to lose their shit over a woman, or to start wars over them. When I was out on the street, we’d get domestic calls constantly. I’d show up to men beating their women over stupid shit, like her chatting up another guy, or he thinks she’s cheating so he hacked her up for it. One guy, his name don’t matter, actually offed his girl because she wanted to leave him. He said if he couldn’t have her, no one could. Call after call I went out to, and never once did I get it.


  Now, I get it.

  I’d never do any of that heinous shit, but the way I feel about the tiny female curled up next to me guarantees that I’ll do whatever it takes, by any means necessary, to keep her protected. Staring at her while she dozes relaxes me. I’m here, she’s with me, therefore she’s safe. Being inside of her like that? No fucking words for it. I want back in there, want to stay there, and need to hear her scream for me. I’ve got that now. Me. The guy who never had shit, never wanted shit. Got a taste of her, gotta have all of her.

  Out there, though, too many unknowns and too much shit outta my control. Until her, I didn’t have much to show for myself; the job was pretty much all I had. Tucking her close to me, I play with her hair, thinking to myself that a month ago I didn’t know shit about women. Still don’t, really, but I’m learning. Most of the shit that comes to me as instinct seems to be working, so I trust it. Weird shit runs through my head, like how soft her hair is, wondering if it grows like that or if she puts shit in it. She has the softest skin, too. It’s so fucking soft, I can’t stop touching it. I’m tempted to wake her so she’ll look at me, because I know all the answers are there, but instead of waking her I dozed off myself.

  Waking up to an empty bed blows, especially with the dream I was having. Odd, because I don’t usually dream about anything that I know of. I’d sleep if I was tired, that was about it. Looking over at the window, it’s just starting to get dark so I wasn’t out long. Sitting up I hear moaning so I stay quiet and listen. Is she getting herself off? Without me? The fuck! My job is to take care of her body, make sure she gets what she needs, so yeah I’m pissed that she’s needing and didn’t come to me.

  Storming into the living room, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to watch her get herself off, or be pissed that I wasn’t the one getting her off. I will say walking in on her watching porn wasn’t what I had expected. It was fucking better than I had expected.

  “You’re up,” she says looking up and down at me.

  “Yep, I’m up.” I look down to confirm.

  “I thought you’d sleep longer.”

  “Woke up, you were gone. You got up to watch porn?”

  “Couldn’t sleep, but I got to thinking that I could learn a few things from it, so here I am.”

  “You’re taking notes?” Okay, so I started laughing. I overreacted a bit at first, but she has a pen and paper out and fuck you that’s funny.

  “Don’t you laugh at me! This benefits you, too, asshole!”

  “Let me see that.” Taking her tablet, I’m once again struck dumb. “You have a porn app?”

  “You don’t?”

  “No, I don’t have a porn app.”

  “DVDs?”

  “Singular. I have a DVD,” I say, but also don’t want to sound like a bitch if I tell her Rafe gave it to me as a birthday gift a few years ago.

  “One? How do you only have one? Where’s the suspense?”

  “It’s porn, Angel, not a mini-series,” I explain stating the obvious.

  “A few of mine are movies. Funny shit, too. Okay so one DVD. Do you have a cable subscription then?”

  “What is it with you and porn? No, I don’t have a subscription. No magazines, no fucking app, either.” Now my brain is working overtime wondering if she has a collection, and feeling like a pussy because I don’t and probably should.

  “It’s cool, I’ve got enough for both of us.”

  “Fuck, alright what she’s doing right there? Don’t do that shit to me without asking first,” I say, looking at the screen, what those two are doing is unnatural and, unless I’m drunk, that kind of shit ain’t for me.

  “Good to know it’s physically possible, yeah?”

  “If you say so,” I tell her, physically uncomfortable with this conversation.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “You know the answer to that.”

  “If I grabbed your cock right now, would it be hard?”

  “Grab it and find out,” I dare her, knowing she will never back away from a challenge.

  Wasting no time, she reaches over and smiles. Hard as steel. My god, I love her hands.

  “Mmm, I think you like my porn app.”

  “Ain’t got nothing to do with that app, Angel.” Which is true, pornos don’t do it for me for some reason.

  “I should shut it off then, yeah?”

  “Leave it on.”

  “Freaky. I love it,”

  “Watching you watch it is what I like. I’ll ask you a question now.”

  “No need. I’m soaking wet, feel for yourself.”

  “Fuck,” I mumble, watching her shift around in her seat.

  “Wanna see what else I learned while you were asleep?”

  Being embarrassed isn’t what I’m about. So I like porn. Who doesn’t? When he stomped into the living room, he looked equal parts pissed and horny. Lucky for me, horny won out. Tonight’s porn was strictly for research purposes. He’s in the next room, so if I wanted to get off, I know where to go. It’s just that I want to be good at this. No, I want to be fucktastic at it, which means I need to get my money’s worth from my app. Truly, $1.99 is a small price to pay for what I’m seeing, in my opinion.

  He steals my tablet, acting likes he unaffected, but he’s affected. We go back and forth a bit, but he’s caving, I can physically see evidence of it. So I take it a step further, hoping he'll play along, and he does. He dares me to grab him, so I do. I dare him to feel me, so he does. The chick on camera is currently giving a serious blow job. This is interesting to me, because she has some impressive throat skills. Even with horrible off cue slapping and sucking noises in the background, I need him again. Moving the tablet sideways so we can both watch it, I straddle him.

  He’s torn. Watch the porn, or watch me?

  Making the decision for him, I start using my tongue on the side of his neck, slowly working my way down through the fur on his chest. He has a thing about my hands, so I drag my nails up then down his sides. He squeezes my hips hard, letting me know he likes it. You can’t hear someone sucking chrome in the background and not want to outdo her. Plus, the male in the video isn’t in my mouth right now; Rogan will be so I’ll use his moans for guidance.

  As I'm pulling his boxers down, his eyes don’t leave mine, and his watching me undress him is hot. Actually, me preparing to suck him while he sits on my chair is hot. Boxers thrown, I run my hands up his thighs and signal him to part them for me so I can move in. He does so without question, and when I get in place his hands find my hair and I find myself practically foaming at the mouth for a taste of him.

  The time for teasing has passed, I mean business and I let him know that when I lick my lips then plunge. He moans loud and fists my hair tighter. Closing my eyes, I suck and pull while my hands grip his thighs for support. As his moans increase, so does my suction, followed by my speed. He pulls my hair tight, so I suck harder. When he starts to grunt, I focus on going deeper, sucking him harder and even grazing him with my teeth. He’s shifting, trying not to fuck my mouth, so I take him even deeper, forcing him to do what comes naturally. Just before I take him to the back of my throat, he pulls my hair so hard I have no choice but to stop, look up, and see what I’ve done wrong.

  “If you’re hell bent on sucking me off, you’re gonna look at me while you do it.” He releases my hair some, and then continues. “This ain’t no competition, Angel. That chick's gettin’ paid to make noise. You ain’t gettin’ paid, and your mouth is fucking priceless. You wanna suck me, Angel?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you tune that shit out. You win, hands down. Understand me?”

  Nodding my head was all I could do, All I heard was ‘suck me’ and I was eager to get back to it. Taking himself in hand, he pulls me toward him again, putting my hands back on his thighs, he gives me a hard tug.

  “Eyes up, Angel.”

  He stops stroking, giving me the green light to continue. I went back at it like a woman starved. Sure, porn is ho
t but what we’ve got going on right now? Way fucking hotter. Keeping eye contact is easy, because I want to see every expression he has, and from here I can. Stringing foul words together to make one continuous sentence, I’m able to make out key words. Those words are telling me he’s getting close.

  “Keep looking at me,” he says, pulling my hair again to keep my attention. “I wanna watch you get off Angel, show me how you like it.”

  So, I do. Watching him, working him, I spread my own legs apart, working myself with my right hand. Jesus, he’s moaning, I’m moaning. He’s close, I’m close. Staring at each other, I watch him remove his left hand from my hair, but I can’t follow it when my mouth is filled with cock and I’m close to coming on my own fingers.

  He brings his left hand into play when he grabs his balls, then lets out a deep grunt. Now his hips are bucking, seriously fucking my mouth, and my technique is getting sloppy. There’s too much happening right now to stay focused.

  “I’m close, Angel,” he forces out. “You close?”

  Not missing a beat, I give him a ‘mmhmm’ then watch his eyes rolls back. That’s new. I do it again, then again. Each time I do it, his eyes roll then snap right back onto mine. Rubbing myself harder, taking him as deep as I can, there’s no help for it, I start moaning so loud I can feel the vibration in my own mouth.

  “Swallow me, Angel, fuck!” he yells, then coats my throat completely. I'm following right behind him as my own orgasm blisters through me so hard, leaving me barely able not to bite down on him when my body locks up. Three more hard bucks into my mouth and two swallows later, I lay my head in his lap with a smile on my face, feeling like a fucking champ.

  “Damn, Angel,” he says, pulling me up and wrapping my arms around his neck. He carries me into the bathroom and starts a shower.

  “How’d I do?” I ask, genuinely curious.