The 'N' Word, Book 1

by Tiana Laveen

Aaron slowly got to his feet and made his way over. A light pink packet slipped through the slot, and before he could question it, the guard turned his back and disappeared, leaving him stone cold alone. He looked at the thing sitting there on the floor by his boot. Slowly, he bent down and snatched it from the ground. Wondering what it could be, he made his way back to his bed. He opened it up, then paused…

  Smells like food…

  …Funny how certain aromas imbed themselves into paper…

  He glanced at the thing curiously, then gradually brought it up to his nostrils. He slowly closed his eyes and sniffed… then sniffed again.

  Yeah, definitely food… smells real good, too.

  Unfolding the letter the rest of the way, he took note of the perfect penmanship in black ink.

  Oh, I think this is a pen pal letter. Hopefully it’s better than the last one I received.

  He lifted his lips in an optimistic smile. A packet of things, including paperwork to be signed, had been sent to his cell the week prior. Amongst other items was a form giving consent to sign up for a pen pal program. Initially, Aaron scoffed at the idea. He had enough friends; matter of fact, he had so many people wishing to spend time with him when he was out in the free world, he had to duck and dodge on occasion just to get a moment all to himself. But now, everything was different.

  There was no womanly companionship in the joint. Most of the guards of the female persuasion were nothing to look at or write home about. They’d dress themselves down in order to be less appealing to the inmates, and Aaron totally understood such a thing. Besides, in a place such as Holman, it was a matter of being smart and keeping safety first. Not only that, he didn’t want to add any more time to his new stint. Fraternizing with a guard or prison officer would land his ass in a heap of unwanted trouble, and it simply wasn’t worth it. On top of it all, before this latest incident, he’d been dating for he wished to find a woman that met his standards to settle down with. He’d learned some valuable lessons after dealing with Laura’s mother, ones that he never wished to be repeated.

  No, he was older and wiser now, and he didn’t want a girlfriend or someone to just lay with… he wanted a wife. At thirty-four, he was determined to set up roots, get serious, and build his new foundation. Female attention came in abundance and he received his share of letters from the ladies; however, they smelled of a strong groupie mentality. Groupie mentality stroked his ego, but had no staying power. He wanted the shit that endured…

  He didn’t want a woman fawning over him because he was Aaron Pike, a revered leader of the White Nationalist movement, who also identified as a Nazi. He wished to meet a woman who had no damn idea who the fuck he was—and for her to be with him simply because she enjoyed his company, found him to be the type of man she desired in her life, and they shared similar interests and beliefs. He wanted an old-fashioned woman with a beautiful mind, a lovely face, sexy physique, and a heart made of all that was pure and right with the universe. She would bring light into his at times darkened world, and soothe him behind closed and locked doors, allow him to show her his beating heart and suffer no fear of judgment during his more vulnerable moments. She’d cloak his secrets and kiss the pain away… He wanted it ALL, and made no apologies for being so damn greedy.

  He took a deep breath, already moved a bit by the writing style and the scent of the paper, even the color choice. He read the letter once, then twice more. Pleased with her words, he leaned over to his left, grabbed an ink pen from a plastic cup doubling as a utensil holder, plucked a piece of paper out of his spiral notebook, and penned a letter of response to the woman…

  Dear Melissa,

  Thank you for your well thought out and considerate letter. I appreciate the companionship even though it is from afar. It does get lonely in here without female camaraderie. Though I knew there was no guarantee that my pen pal would be a woman, I am pleased that it is. I’m a good person despite my current circumstances. Whichever way you see it, my so-called victim deserved what he received. I have no regrets or remorse for my actions in this incident that landed me here. This wasn’t a case of larceny, robbery, rape, or senseless murder. This was a case of self-defense, regardless of the timeline called into question. Now, onto other things. It’s wonderful that you’re a teacher.

  Teachers are the salt of the earth. You all provide mental, emotional, and educational sustenance that our children need. I have a seven-year-old daughter who means the world to me. I’ve had the distinct pleasure of meeting all of her teachers and I give a stamp of approval to their efforts. Laura is intelligent and determined. She also has the support of her parents, though we’re no longer together. I teach my daughter that book smarts and street smarts are equally important in order to survive the world we live in today.

  Now, let’s get on to another matter. First and foremost, I caution you. If you are married, please disregard the remainder of this letter and I offer my sincerest apologies. If you are single, however, please read what I have to say from this point forward. I’ll answer the questions included here, but I also have some questions for you that I hope you don’t mind answering:

  What’s my favorite food? I enjoy all sorts of food. I have taken a recent liking to German food but if I have to be specific, Bavarian round roast. I absolutely love it.

  What’s my favorite song or musical group? I enjoy heavy metal and classic rock. I also like a little contemporary jazz, believe it or not. Classic Alice In Chains and Aerosmith are my favorite bands. I have many actually, but those are the first that come to mind.

  What’s my favorite book? The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey.

  What’s my favorite holiday? Thanksgiving, just like yours…

  What’s my favorite color? Red. It means vibrancy, war, and a call to action. It represents me well.

  Now, here are my questions for you, Melissa:

  1. What’s your political affiliation?

  2. What’s your favorite dessert?

  3. If you’re not married, do you have any children?

  4. Are you a Christian?

  5. What do you look like? (Describe yourself)

  I am a no-nonsense sort of man, Melissa. Therefore, I have to be honest with you about something before this goes even one step farther. Right before I was sentenced to serve time here, I was looking for a wife. I was actively dating, but none of the women I was seeing from time to time made me really want to pursue them any further. I am still in the process of interviewing women actually and it has been a struggle to find the right fit for myself, to say the least.

  I am not looking for a girlfriend or someone to just have sex with. The position in question is the role of wife, plain and simple. I do in fact consider it interviewing, because I take marriage very seriously and it is a lifetime commitment. My intentions are to marry and not divorce, so I must be vigilant in my pursuit of the best mate for me. That is actually the only reason why I agreed to participate in this pen pal program in the first place. I was planning to only respond to the women who wrote me, throw away any letters I may have received from men, and weed out the rest based on their answers—and that is in fact what I’ve done.

  I have received letters from other women this week, but yours, due to your answers and the way you express yourself—even the paper, as silly as that may sound—made me curious to know a bit more about you. You also come across as articulate. I like that. Intelligence is what attracts me to a woman, after her physical appearance, of course. I need someone who can teach me, as well as be taught. I believe each party needs to bring something of value to the table. Should you be interested in possibly getting to know me better, here is what I offer:

  1. I’m financially stable. You won’t have to worry about money once I’m released in eleven months, possibly sooner now that I have a new attorney. I would be able to provide for you and our future children. I own a business that specializes in hiring and training bodyguards, then leasing them to individuals or businesses a
round the country. A friend of mine is temporarily handling that business until I am released. I own it, I’m the CEO, and I have a background in Advanced Weapons Disarming, Anti-Terrorism, and Anti-Ambush Procedures. I typically hire and train men that have backgrounds in (MSF) Military Special Forces, Government Security Intelligence, or Law Enforcement Agencies. My background is self-taught, though I have taken extensive courses in Personal Protection & High Level Security. I am a black belt in karate. Most of my staff have been through a High Level Security Bureau, such as the Dignitary Program in the State of Alabama.

  2. I’m a hard worker and self-sufficient. I hope that is evident from the above point. I can be obstinate at times because I’m very driven.

  3. I can be very particular. I need to control my environment and like for things to go a certain way but I never lash out and become violent with my life partner or date. I have absolutely no history of domestic violence. I have not and will not disrespect the woman I am in a relationship with, neither through verbal or physical attack, or emotional abuse such as cheating. I am not proclaiming to be an angel, but I try very hard to give my all when I am committed to someone.

  4. I’m resourceful and can help you with obstacles you may encounter. I’m a problem solver and handle issues very well.

  5. I’m a good listener and conversationalist. I can talk about almost any topic. You could come to me and relay what is on your mind, and we could discuss it like adults, even if it is an issue that I may find distressing. My objective is to have a great relationship with my future wife, and communication is key to that achievement.

  6. I’m physically fit and take great pride in my physique. I work out in here every single day. When I was a free man, I worked out five times a week. I’m 6’4 and have dark brown hair that is cut very close to my head. I have a short beard and mustache that I keep well maintained, but occasionally shave off and regrow, depending on my mood. I have an assortment of tattoos, but no piercings. I have very light hazel eyes; some describe them as light golden. I keep myself together and practice good hygiene. My future wife doesn’t have to be a swimwear model. All that needs to happen is for me to be personally attracted to her, and I’m attracted to a variety of body types, but would want her to be interested in her physical well being and health.

  7. I read and keep up on current information. I have a thirst for knowledge. Therefore, you being a teacher definitely appeals to me.

  8. I think I have a good sense of humor. It can be a little dry at times. I’ve been accused of being a smart ass, too, so I guess that means I’m sarcastic at times.

  9. I’m a good father and want more children, but only with the woman I marry. I will not be having any more children out of wedlock, Melissa. I do not regret having my daughter; she is the best thing that ever happened to me. However, I do regret making a choice based purely on aesthetics and then creating child with someone who is not a good fit for me and caused me to have to remove myself from the relationship.

  10. I’m not what I would call religious, but I have a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong and plan to teach the same to my offspring.

  Now, here is some information about me that you may find offensive or not wish to deal with. I am offering full disclosure. I am going through these measures because, as stated, your introduction of yourself and the answers you provided intrigue me:

  1. I obviously have a criminal record. It’s due to fighting for what I believe in. I’m an activist, not a criminal.

  2. I smoke cigarettes. I have been smoking since age twelve. It’s the only habit I can’t seem to quit. I do drink, but not to excess; however, I do not take any recreational drugs. You will find me popping an aspirin every now and again, but that is the extent of any medication I might consume.

  3. I believe in traditional roles for women and men. I am old fashioned in that regard. I want a stable family life, a wife that wants to be a mother and help me. I want a partner… a friend, a lover, someone I could talk to, get sound advice from and depend upon. I no longer want to deal with any woman that is infatuated with me due to the status I hold within my community. That brings me to my next point.

  4. I am well known in my community and it may at times take me away from home. As stated, I am a freedom fighter. I need a partner who understands this and can deal with it.

  5. I would treat you differently than I’d treat others. That is actually a plus. I am hard on others, but would be loving to my significant other, just as I have been in the past. The line of separation is quite clear to me.

  Now, if you’re not interested in getting to know me further, please just say this so that I may move on to other women who are open to what I’ve discussed here. There would be no hard feelings at this stage of the game and I would respect your candor completely. You owe me nothing, and I owe you nothing but the truth. I’m direct, as I’m certain you can see. I see no reason to draw objectives out as they pertain to my love life. You’d still be allowed to write me because friendship is always nice, but I want to know your intentions. You know mine, and now, the ball is in your court.

  Sincerely,

  Aaron

  THE RASPBERRY LEMONADE and mango iced tea mixture went down nice and smooth. Today was particularly blistering; the heated fingers from the depths of an erupted volcano seemed to reach out across the land from Hawaii to Alabama, and say, ‘Aloha.’ Mia sat on her slanted front stoop porch steps, delighted to see a car or two every so often pass by on the rather quiet, desolate road. When she looked out beyond the horizon, she saw no front yard but a field of grass and vibrant wild flowers that went so long and wide, neither the beginning nor end was clear to the naked eye. The area was gated with massive and protective sweet scented Eucalyptus trees.

  The Italian Cyprus, with their long bodies, added a touch of elegance as they guarded the property, while her Muscogee Crapes showed off their flowering, lavender blooms, sassy and feminine as they were. Mia crossed her ankles, one of which was sore due to a rather lengthy walk earlier that morning. She’d begun to sprint, then found herself flat on the ground with a mouthful of dirt and cool grass.

  Still, this was a great excuse to relax; a much needed break especially after having to physically fight Zion right before the end of the day. The poor child had had an allergic reaction. Some dimwit brought peanuts into the place and gave him a few, and his itchy skin caused an avalanche of perplexed emotions. To make matters worse, earlier in the week she was told that his parents were considering placing him in a special home for boys… She was staunchly against it, though she realized the choice was not hers to make. For a split second, she contemplated offering to adopt him should his parents proceed with such a thing. Zion was brilliant, but he needed special care and there was no way he’d receive it in such a place.

  Mia believed she just needed a bit more time with him, and she’d crack open his hidden world… just a bit more time…

  Now she was home, away from it all, enjoying a good time to pause, reflect, and read…and read she did. Earlier, she’d relieved her ivory mailbox that sat hitched on a wooden post of its crammed contents. The thing stood a bit crooked at the end of the graveled road leading up to her front porch, but she refused to replace it. In her eyes, it looked charming. After removing the rubber-banded wad, she made her way back up the uneven driveway. One piece of mail caught her attention above all others. She removed a letter wrapped in the customary Holman Correctional Facility envelope.

  Hmmm, what’s this?

  When she unveiled the thing, she inhaled the slight odor of burnt cigarettes, but then, what truly struck her most was the content…

  She now sat on the steps, swollen ankle and swollen ideas to match, the weighty deliberations moving about in a tight space within her head…

  He writes so distinctly… not that a prisoner can’t be eloquent; it just… I don’t know. I didn’t expect that…

  She’d spoken to prisoners several times a week, and they were all different, but t
his particular man, Aaron Pike, drew her curiosity out from its delicately wrapped folds. The man was on the hunt for a wife and made no broken or strained bones about it. She sat there a moment longer, took another sip from her glass, and then set it neatly beside her. She reached to her right and picked up her dark blue ink pen and a lavender piece of paper that she often used to write letters to parents…

  Dear Aaron,

  I appreciate your direct approach. Of course, no one knows what the future holds for any of us, except God. I thank you for stating that you’re looking for a life partner, a wife. I have just recently admitted to myself that I, too, am looking to settle down again. I ended a five-year relationship some time ago and needed some time to sort things out. Like you, now, I know the type of man I want. I have been selective as to whom to date. I don’t wish to waste any valuable time, though I’m pacing myself. However, I’m not looking to become romantically involved with an inmate. I believe that would be unwise on my part. I also appreciate that you understand that your record, regardless of your being an activist or otherwise, could cause some women concern who would otherwise be happy to be in your dating pool. That being said, I’m more than happy to develop a friendship with you.

  I’ll answer your questions now and then follow up with additional information, especially since you were so generous and forthcoming with particulars regarding your personal life.

  1. What’s your political affiliation? I’m a registered Democrat.

  2. What’s your favorite dessert? Chocolate fudge cake. I make the absolute best! The technique was created and passed down by my great, great grandmother. All of it is made from scratch and I have not deviated from the original recipe.

  3. Do you have any children? No, and I’ve never been married either, but I look forward to becoming a wife and mother. It is something I truly desire, actually. I like the idea of being a family unit. I was raised around such a thing. I am one of seven children, the 5th eldest. I had a happy home for the most part as a child, and that is a gift, something I wish to experience once again as an adult.