In the Arms of a Soldier

by Makenna Jameison

  “Not for me,” Allie said, leaning closer to Rob. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him as he bent down to whisper something in her ear. Thankfully they’d taken a cab over to the bar, because she was looking like she’d had plenty to drink as well. The bartender handed me a beer, and I turned toward my other friends since Allie and Rob now seemed to be engaged in some quiet couple talk.

  “How long was your flight back?” Lexie asked Josh.

  “Way too long. Between layovers and changing planes, I’d say 24 hours.”

  She cringed. “I’m getting used to no sleep with a newborn at home, but that just sounds painful.”

  “How’s she sleeping now anyway?” I asked. Lexie had been telling me the other day that her daughter was up for feedings every two hours. I didn’t know much about kids and knew even less about babies, but that was certainly enough to make me want to hold off on having any children for a long, long time. It was hard enough putting in twelve-hour shifts at the hospital all the time. I had no idea how I’d manage that plus a newborn. Fortunately, since Mike and I had broken up, it’s not like I had to worry about that anytime soon. There was the whole meeting a new guy, dating, getting engaged, and finally getting married thing that needed to come first. At least for me—I knew some people were fine with less traditional routes. Having to worry about taking care of a family was definitely something years down the road for me.

  “God, I still can’t believe you two are parents now,” Josh said with an easy grin. “I have enough trouble taking care of myself most days.”

  “It’s a life-changer, that’s for sure,” Lexie said with a smile.

  “What is?” Tom asked, turning back to our conversation.

  “Having a baby.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, don’t let our coming out tonight fool you. It’s been months and months since we’ve gone anywhere alone. Or this late,” he added with a wry smile. “Why, is one of you wishing that you had kids already? Because we’re always looking for reliable babysitters,” he said jokingly.

  “I’m probably the last person you’d want as a babysitter,” I laughed. “I know absolutely nothing about babies. Even Josh would be a better choice than me.”

  “Josh? Really….” Lexie glanced over at him, pretending to ponder the idea.

  “You know, I would be insulted, but Jess is right,” Josh teased.

  I playfully punched him in the arm. “Very funny.”

  “That’s right, you have a kid sister, don’t you?” Rob asked, seeming to remember the ten-year age gap between Josh and his younger sister.

  “Lindsey,” I said knowledgably.

  “She’s not much of a kid anymore,” Josh said with a laugh. “She absolutely idolized Jessica when we were growing up, but she’s in college now.”

  “That just makes me feel old,” I groaned. “That and the fact that our friends are already getting married and starting families.”

  Josh yawned as he glanced over at me. “We are old.”

  I laughed and jokingly rolled my eyes. “Just what I wanted to hear a week before my twenty-ninth birthday.”

  “Hey, your thirties aren’t so bad. And look at it this way: you still have an entire year to say that you’re in your twenties.”

  Lexie laughed as she glanced back and forth between us. “You guys are always too much. It’s so good to have you back Josh, but we have to get going soon. I want to check on the baby—we’re not used to leaving her with a babysitter yet.”

  “Maybe we better head out, too,” I said, glancing down at my phone to check the time. “You guys have the babysitter, and Josh probably doesn’t want to be out late after his long day.”

  “That’s my Jess, always looking out for me,” he teased.

  “Well someone has to.” I swiveled my barstool back toward Allie and Rob. “Hey, we’re all going to head out. Are you guys staying?”

  “Yeah, probably for a little while longer,” Rob said.

  He and Allie turned to say goodbye to the rest of us. Josh pulled out his wallet, but Rob waved his hand in protest. “No man, this is on us—a little welcome home for you.”

  When I grabbed some money from the small clutch I was carrying, Rob said he and Allie were treating me as well. “I’m not the one who was deployed for six months,” I protested.

  “No, it’s our treat. You guys are practically a couple anyway.”

  “More like just roommates,” I said with a laugh. “Or siblings who don’t always get along.” I hopped off my barstool to stand beside Josh. He laughed as he glanced down at me, but I saw that hint of emotion pass behind his eyes again. Just as quickly it was gone, and I looked questioningly up at him.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, it’s nothing,” I replied.

  “Should we get out of here then?”

  “Lead the way, roomie.”

  Josh casually slung his arm around me as we headed out, and I smiled, happy to have my best friend safely home once again.

  Chapter 3

  “Something smells good,” I called out as I walked toward the kitchen the next morning. The scent of sizzling bacon, fried eggs, and freshly brewed coffee had awakened me, and I happily hurried down the hall as I remembered that Josh was back from Afghanistan. I yawned as I rounded the corner and stopped in surprise to see Josh standing in front of the stove wearing navy blue boxers and a dark grey tee shirt that showed off his broad shoulders and chiseled torso. His biceps bulged out beneath the cotton sleeves, and I quickly looked away before he caught me staring at him. This was my roommate and best friend for God’s sake. Since when did I start swooning over the sight of him in his underwear? We’d been roommates before he’d deployed. Certainly he must have occasionally wandered around our apartment in his boxer shorts then. Could I really never have noticed before?

  A little voice in the back of my mind reminded me that I’d still been with Mike when Josh had left. Mike had spent nearly every night we weren’t working at Josh’s and my apartment. Maybe I’d been too wrapped up in him to even notice the guy living right down the hall—the guy I’d known forever. I glanced down at my own outfit—a stretchy camisole and boy shorts from Victoria’s Secret. They were much less revealing than every single bikini that I owned, but I suddenly found myself wondering if I should have thrown on my silk robe or at least a long cardigan. I was practically wandering around in my underwear myself.

  Josh turned to grin at me as I casually wandered over toward the coffee pot, acting as if everything were perfectly normal. I poured myself a cup of dark roasted coffee—just the way both of us liked it. “Morning sleepyhead,” he said.

  I laughed as I turned toward him. “Sleepyhead? It looks like you just got up yourself. I just pulled three days of twelve-hour shifts—or maybe you forgot?”

  “Nah, I’m just teasing you. I’m so jet-lagged I thought it was already afternoon. It was a relief when I finally glanced at my alarm clock and saw that it was only 8:30 a.m. Man, do I feel groggy though.”

  “Welcome to my life,” I joked. “Alternating between day and night shifts is no way to live—I can’t keep my days straight half the time.”

  “I’m sure you manage just fine,” he said reassuringly.

  “Yeah, well, now that you’re back, don’t be surprised if you come home and find me fast asleep as some ridiculously early hour. You’ll be headed for a night out, and I’ll be headed to bed. Hazard of the job,” I joked.

  Josh pulled a spatula from the drawer and scooped up fried eggs for each of us, delicately sliding them onto two plates so as not to break the tender yolk. He then speared the bacon with a fork and divided the pieces he’d cooked between us. “You bought new plates,” he commented.

  “Yeah, the old ones were from college. I figured it was time to buy something new.”

  He nodded distractedly, turning off the stove as he grabbed utensils for each of us from the drawer. I carried my coffee mug over to the table, knowing Josh would bring us e
ach our plates. A vase of fresh daisies sat at the center that one of my coworkers had given to me as a thank-you for covering her shift the other day. For the briefest flash of a moment I wondered what it would be like to always have Josh in my life—to wake up to breakfast together every morning, to know that every holiday and family event would be spent at his side. We had spent plenty of breakfasts together, not to mention holidays over the years. Things were always so easy between us—of course they were, because we’d know each other forever. Being with him felt as comfortable as being alone, if that made any sense. It was hard to remember a time when Josh hadn’t been in my life. I’d never really considered him in a romantic way before, and these sudden moments where I noticed his very male physique now that he was back and the few times I’d caught some emotion passing in the depths of his eyes were leaving me slightly confused. Had it been so long since I’d been with a man that I was suddenly lusting after Josh? Or had something between us really changed?

  “Go ahead, dig in,” he said, gesturing toward my plate.

  I realized that I’d just been staring at my food, lost in thought, and picked up my fork and speared the yolk of my egg, watching the yellow gooiness spread across my plate. “Thanks for making breakfast,” I said, taking a bite of my food.

  “Of course.” We dug into our food and didn’t speak for the next several minutes, each lost in our own thoughts. “You seem different,” Josh said after he’d finished eating.

  “I do?” I looked up to see him watching me from across the table. He’d crossed his arms, and his biceps bulged beneath the material of his tee shirt. A few strands of his short blond hair gleamed with the sunlight beaming in through the window, and his blue eyes were fixed firmly on me. With his tan and the light of the sun coming in behind him, he looked like some kind of Greek God sitting there in front of me. It was hard to believe this man was the same boy I’d grown up with, the guy who’d been my best friend for years. I was literally seeing him in a new light this morning.

  “Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you,” I finally responded. Sometimes it felt like Josh knew me better than I knew myself, and I wondered if he had any idea of what I’d been thinking. Was it our time apart that made me see him differently? Or had I just never wanted to notice it before?

  “I guess we all change,” he said thoughtfully. He drained the last of his coffee from his mug, and I took a sip of my own, wondering if he was going to elaborate. “You know what it is—all these years we’ve known each other, and I hardly remember you without a boyfriend.”

  “Well that’s not true,” I protested. “We’ve been friends since we were kids.”

  “No, I’m not counting that. But ever since high school, college, you’ve always had a boyfriend. Or at least some guy you were chasing after who couldn’t help but fall for you.”

  I laughed, not sure how exactly that could be a problem. I’d given him plenty of dating advice over the years, so it’s not exactly like he’d been lonely all that time. “Well, I’ve been single for the past six months. I haven’t gone on a single date yet since Mike and I broke up.”

  “That’s what’s different. You’re more independent now.”

  I met his gaze. “Well, like you just said, we all change.”

  “I like the new you.”

  I eyed him carefully, not sure if I should take that as a complement or not. He’d known the old me a lot longer.

  “You look insulted,” he said with a laugh.

  I laughed, too, thinking that our conversation was getting a little too serious for first thing Saturday morning. “Well, you knew the old me for years and never had a problem with her before,” I teased.

  “It wasn’t an insult,” he assured me. “You’re still the old you, only better.”

  I smiled and shook my head in disbelief, thinking he always knew the right thing to say to me. “So what are you up to your first day back? Are you going to see your parents this weekend?”

  Josh’s family and mine lived two hours away. I knew his parents wanted to be at the airport for his return home yesterday, but his mother was ill, and his father wasn’t able to leave her alone for an extended period of time. His sister Lindsey was away at college, so he wouldn’t be able to see her anytime soon. My own family lived just down the street from Josh’s parents. We’d spent our childhood going back and forth between each other’s houses, and in many ways, his family felt like an extension of my own.

  “Yeah, I think I’ll drive down there later today. My mom had emailed me about coming for dinner tonight, but we never finalized our plans. I wanted to make sure she was feeling up to it, so I need to give them a call this morning.” He stood to clear our plates from the table, and I followed him back into the kitchen to pour myself some more coffee.

  “I know they’ll be thrilled to see you.”

  “Yeah, my mom started crying on the phone when I called her from the airport yesterday just to say I’d made it back. It’ll be great to see them. You should come along, too.” He glanced over at me, pausing from loading the dishes into the dishwasher.

  “That’d be fun. Are you sure? I know you haven’t seen them for six months, so I totally understand if you want to go alone.”

  Josh and I had frequently driven back home together over the years to see our families. In college he’d given me rides when I didn’t have a car, and even after we’d graduated we’d often head back together for a quick trip home. That was another thing that had irritated Mike—my weekend trips home with Josh. Even though we were each visiting our own parents, staying in separate homes, he complained about our “weekends away” together. Mike had come home with me plenty of times over the years, but as our schedules became more hectic once we graduated from medical school, it became more difficult to coordinate all of our weekends. Yet another reason our relationship was destined to fail, I thought wryly.

  “Absolutely,” Josh insisted. “It’d be kind of weird going home without you.”

  “True,” I said with a laugh. “If you’re not going until later, I think I’ll go jogging this morning. I’m guessing you probably need to unpack.”

  “Yeah, I’ve got a to-do list a mile long. Unpacking and laundry is right at the top. I’ll go jogging with you later in the week though. Now that I’m back, you’re stuck with me.”

  “It kind of seems like I’ve always been stuck with you,” I joked.

  “Very funny.”

  “All right, I’m gonna go change. I’ll catch up with you later,” I said, turning to walk away.

  “Yeah, have fun.”

  I glanced back over my shoulder. “I’m going to convince you to like jogging someday!”

  ***

  “Are you ready yet?” Josh called out to me as I ran a brush through my hair. He poked his head in the doorway just as I was putting on my diamond stud earrings. I caught his eye in the reflection of the mirror above my dresser.

  “Just about. Look at you all fancy.” Josh had changed into khaki pants and a blue shirt that set off the color of his eyes. Since he’d been home I’d only seen him in his fatigues and jeans. Well, then of course there’d been breakfast in his boxers this morning. But I was trying to do my best to put that incident out of my mind. I’d changed into dark skinny jeans, brown riding boots, and a silky burgundy blouse. Even though this was Josh’s welcome home dinner, his parents had invited mine over as well since I was coming along. We’d spend the afternoon and evening at Josh’s parents’ house, enjoy a nice dinner together, and then head back into the city late tonight. I’d just seen my own parents a couple of weeks ago, when they’d come up for a visit, but it would be nice to see them again today.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself, Jess,” he said with a grin. “So are you going to let me drive or what?”

  Josh had sold his car just before he deployed. Since we lived in the city, a car wasn’t a necessity for day-to-day life. His old car had needed some repairs, so he thought it would be easier to just sell it bef
ore he left since he wanted a new ride anyway. That didn’t mean that he relished the idea of me driving him around in the meantime. I wondered if he’d planned to convince me to let him borrow my car if I hadn’t agreed to come along tonight. I turned to grab my purse from the bed and raised my eyebrows in his direction. “Don’t look so bad?”

  “I meant you look great. Just like always,” he added, holding his hand out for the keys.

  “I suppose I’ll let you drive tonight,” I said, dropping my keys into his open palm. “But only because you’ve been gone for the past six months. Don’t expect this kind of treatment every day.”

  “Of course not,” he agreed, bending down to give me a quick peck on the cheek. “Did I mention again how nice you look?”

  “Very funny.” I glanced down at my watch. “We better get going or they’ll wonder what happened to us.”

  “Ladies first,” he said, gesturing for me to go ahead.

  “Always the gentleman,” I teased, walking out the door to my bedroom with Josh close behind. He bumped into me as I paused a moment to turn out the light, and I felt an unexpected surge of warmth shoot through me at his touch. Not that something was ever going to happen between us in this lifetime. Despite my newfound interest in him, I was fairly certain that Josh would always see me as his childhood friend and nothing more.

  Chapter 4

  “That was crazy, right?” I asked later that night as we zipped up the highway back toward the city. Josh was really laying the pedal to the metal, and I knew we’d be home by midnight, making the normally two-hour drive in ninety minutes or less. Luckily there were no cops around or we’d be getting a speeding ticket for sure. “We obviously shouldn’t let our moms be in the same room together again. Ever.”

  “Oh, they were just happy to see us,” Josh protested.

  My parents had already been there when we arrived at Josh’s parents’ house earlier that evening. Josh’s mom had burst into tears the moment we’d walked in. I expected a reaction like that from her—it was perfectly reasonable to worry about your son who’d been deployed for six months to a war zone. My own mom, however, had suddenly teared-up as well at the two of us standing in the doorway together and had pulled me into a tight embrace before I could even walk into the room. I knew they worried about Josh almost as if he were their own son. But I hadn’t expected my own mom to cry just at the sight of me. Or us. Or whatever had set the waterworks flowing. At any rate, after a teary reunion, we’d all had a nice dinner and relaxing evening together. Josh’s mom had gone to bed early because she needed her rest, but Josh and I stuck around and chatted for another hour or two with his dad and my own parents. We’d finally convinced them that we should get going since we’d had a busy day and Josh was still jet-lagged.