Rune Service

by J. B. Garner

  I screwed my eyes shut and sighed. “You too, Mr. Jimenez,” I said, surrendering to the situation. What else could I do? Besides, for now, I had an Elf sitting in a hallway that needed my help.

  “I am sorry that you’re incurring some expenses here, dear Mary,” Aelfread said as the elevator rumbled up towards my third-floor apartment. His fedora was pulled back on, his elongated ears once again concealed from the mundane world.

  I rubbed my eyes, wiping the last bits of dust off my face. My mind was bouncing between worry over the tremendous financial burden now on my shoulders and anxiety over when Aelfie would get tracked down again. How much would replacing an entire apartment cost me, assuming I lived through it? God, why was I doing this again?

  “Don’t worry about it,” I muttered. “It’s not like you’re the one who knocked the hole in the floor.” The elevator took its usual second-floor clunk. When I first moved into the Arms, I always worried the elevator would break down every time at that point.

  Aelfie leaned languidly against the wall as I stood in front of the door. “You know I could take care of it for you.” He curled a hand through the air and wisps of green magic trailed after his fingers. “All you need to do is ask.”

  I gave him a sidelong glare. “If you’re talking real money, I haven’t earned your reward yet.” I settled my hands on my hips. “The first thing you need to know about Mary Stone is that she earns her keep.”

  “And what if we aren’t?” His question would seem off-handed or rhetorical to most, but I knew better on multiple fronts. The implication was clear.

  “Then you sure as hell aren’t going to fleece Mr. Jimenez.” I may have been a part of a fair few bouts of deception in the old days, but I had my limits and my principles. “He might be an odd duck but he’s treated me fair and square from day one. I’m not beautiful and rich like some people.” My gaze was hard and steady. “Fair deals don’t come my way that often.”

  The Elf realized his faux pas and his delicate lips frowned at the edges. “While I think you might be overestimating my position, dear Mary, I can sympathize with your convictions.” He pushed off the wall and gave a flourishing bow. “Again, I apologize for my misconceptions.”

  The problem with a good con man was that you never knew if their apologies were ever sincere, but I wanted to take him at face value. “Accepted.” I turned my eyes back to the door as the elevator lurched into position at the third floor. “You can cut out the fancy bowing, you know. I’m no noble lady or anything. At best, I’m your employee right now.”

  The elevator dinged and the doors rolled open to the aging-but-clean hallway.

  “You underestimate yourself. After all, you are my savior.” Aelfie stepped to the doorway and gestured outward with a smile. “Ladies first.”

  I blew out hard, fluttering my beard and mustache. “Do whatever then.” My false glower and downcast eyes as I marched out served to mask the faint blush.

  After all, who doesn’t want to be treated as something special?

  The fact that I could afford even the small apartment I had was a minor miracle of accounting brought into being by the goddess of overtime. While the Easy-E-Mart didn’t pay well, there were always extra hours left hanging by my less dedicated co-workers (such as the shift that night that ended so abruptly) and the night shift bonus wasn’t bad either. I tried not to think too hard about the condition of the store or what the owner would do when he found out about it as I let us in through the double-deadbolted door.

  “Well, Your Highness, feel free to make yourself at home,” I said as I spread my arms wide to show off the majesty of my living room.

  It was truly spacious, the size of perhaps three closets fused together, most of that space dominated by an old couch I had rescued from a roadside refuse heap. The old girl was in surprisingly good shape, especially after I had done some repairs to it, but the threadbare puce fabric was in terrible need of a good upholsterer. On a stand built from scrap lumber and chipped cinderblocks sat my television, an off-brand flat screen that had literally dropped off a truck. That explained both its inexpensive price and the fact that its setting screens were stuck in Russian.

  What drew Aelfie’s eye as he stepped in though were the wall hangings, a mix of posters and my own art. The posters were souvenirs of my old carnie days and the art, well, art wasn’t the right word in my opinion. They were more sketches and doodles in charcoal, straight lines and geometric shapes that came to me from time to time.

  As I closed and locked the door, he said, “Miracle Mary, eh?”

  I turned to see him looking the Genovo and Sons Carnival advert up and down, with its colorful and somewhat exaggerated depiction of a muscular bearded lady with a dwarf’s proportions costumed as an Old World strongwoman. She hoisted up a comically oversized barbell overhead with one hand.

  “Well, it sounded better when I was younger.” I stepped up beside him and gazed at the poster wistfully. “It took a lot of hard work to get beyond being a simple part of the sideshow and to be frank, doing the strongwoman act with all the pomp and circumstance almost made me feel like a superhero.”

  Aelfie smiled as well and nodded. “To be seen as a hero does sound nice but I’m not sure I could do with all the sweat and toil.” He took off his fedora and shook out his hair. “Far too delicate for that sort of thing.”

  I rolled my eyes and walked towards the kitchenette at the far end of the room, separated from the living room proper by an open bar. “Well, the days of feeling like a hero are long past. The toil, well, most of us never outlive that.”

  As I passed the bar, weighing a strong desire for a stiff drink versus the good sense to stay clean sober, Aelfie stopped at one of my cleaner sketches. Good sense won out as I opened the mini-fridge for a bottle of water. I honestly expected my cell phone to start ringing like mad or someone to be beating down the door any second.

  “While we’re waiting for something else to go wrong, do you want something to drink?” I’d already opened the offer to crash here with me. The least I could do in the face of impending doom was be polite.

  Aelfie was distracted as he mumbled, “Water is fine.” I had no idea what it was that was so engrossing. Either I was a great hidden talent (very unlikely) or he was about to unleash some in-depth criticism to wound my artistic soul. His voice perked up a bit as he carried on with that, “Do you know what this is?”

  I grabbed another bottle of water and prepared my defenses. “It’s not anything good, I know, but – “

  “What? No!” I hadn’t been expecting a denial, that was for sure. “You’re obviously a natural talent!”

  He had to be pulling my leg. I was shaking my head as I came back into the living room. “Don’t bullshit me, Aelfie.”

  To my surprise, he was examining the sketch with rapt attention, going as far as to hover a finger right above the vellum, tracing the lines and patterns writ upon it. “No deception, dear Mary, in fact, this shows me more than ever that I came to the right Dwarf.”

  I cursed inwardly, again unsure if he was buttering me up or telling the plain truth. “Then be plain about it. What do my doodles mean to you then?”

  “They mean – “

  Aelfread’s statement was cut off abruptly by a heavy knock at the door. “Mary Stone, this is the Saginaw Police. We need to talk to you!”

  Chapter 6

  WELL, AT LEAST it didn’t sound like Beaks or Blythe. In fact, the voice behind the door sounded pretty familiar. I couldn’t connect the voice with a name, but with the blues of one of the local police who frequented the Easy-E-Mart.

  Aelfie was already at the bedroom door, about to go where I didn’t really want him to, when I waved him off, pointing at the kitchenette. “Not in there. Behind the bar,” I whispered harshly.

  He rolled his eyes and ducked behind the bar, moving with the grace and speed that still shocked me, as another round of knocking echoed through the room. “Ms. Stone, are you all right?” the cop co
ntinued on. Well, the concern in his voice seemed honest enough. “Mr. Jimenez told me you’re in. Please open up or – “

  “I’m coming!” I trundled to the door as fast as my legs could take me. “Hold your horses!” The incessant knocking, er, ceased as I fumbled with the locks, finally managing to get the door open.

  On the other side, nervously moving from foot to foot, was a kid who could have only been a year or two out of the academy. I recognized him as a common fixture of the coffee machines and the doughnut case of the Easy-E-Mart, mainly from his relatively short five-and-a-half-foot height and bulky frame. His stiff, close-cropped brown hair topped a round face that had plenty of smile lines for all its youth and I’d swear that his uniform was a half-size too small.

  Bless his heart, the officer only took a heartbeat to adjust his eyes down to meet mine.

  “Ms. Stone,” he said with a nod, “I’m Officer Kent Howard.” He looked me up and down. “You look to be okay.”

  I arched an eyebrow up at him. “Yes, I’m okay.” He seemed a bit shaken, probably from seeing the state of the store. “This is about the Easy-E-Mart, isn’t it?”

  Officer Howard let out an embarrassed cough and nodded. “Yeah, exactly.” He glanced past me. “We responded to the silent alarm and, well, maybe it’d be better if we continue this inside?”

  As much as I didn’t want that, I didn’t have a logical reason to deny him. Hopefully, all he wanted was to ask questions, questions I didn’t know if I had a good answer for. “Of course, officer, please come in.” I stepped to one side, holding the door open for him as he walked on in.

  Aelfie was doing a grade A job at hiding, as gone as the wind as I closed the door behind the officer. “Well, Ms. Stone, considering the state of things at the store, we have a lot of question to ask you but first, let me just say that everyone will be glad to know you’re safe.” He stopped in the center of the living room, turning back towards me as he pulled out his pad and pen.

  I frowned slightly. As if anyone would give a crap about a night shift store clerk getting hurt or killed, especially a freak. “I suppose.” I hooked my thumbs in the belt loops of my pants. “So, what do you need to know?”

  I really wasn’t sure the best way to tackle this. This entire thing had to look extremely suspicious. An entire store wrecked and the on-duty clerk showing up safe and sound, especially after the appearance of a handsome stranger? I certainly wouldn’t trust my word on things if I were this guy.

  The cop scratched behind his ear with the end of his pen. “Are you sure you’re okay? It’s just …” He chewed on his lip. “Let me be frank, miss. Something very bad happened down at the Mart and you seem awfully calm for someone who was there to see it.” The chew went into a frown as he continued to eye me warily. “And we know you were there. Sarah Bouchard told us that you asked her to leave after a strange customer came in and then not ten minutes later … “

  Honestly, I thought I was pretty damn shook up by the whole thing but Kent here didn’t know me well. I was quite talented at putting up a brave front in the face of tragedy and hardship, a good little Stoic you could say. “Maybe I am a bit in shock. They say you never can tell those things on your own.” That wasn’t precisely true, but it was close enough that I didn’t feel bad saying it.

  The frown quirked a bit up and he nodded sympathetically. “I can only imagine what you must have gone through so I apologize if any of this is hard.” He tapped the notebook with his pen. “But I have to ask these questions all the same. We need to know the truth here.” There was conviction in Kent’s voice, something I chalked up to the naiveté of youth.

  Considering the insanity of what actually happened, maybe I could get by skirting the actual truth with something, well, more believable to your average beat cop. “I understand, sir.” I flopped down onto the couch. “Ask away and I’ll do my best to answer all your questions.”

  Kent smiled with relief, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. “Great. We can clear this up and get on to finding out who did this.” He put the pen back to paper. “Now, can you tell me what happened tonight, starting with right before Mrs. Bouchard left the store?”

  I opened my mouth, ready to start at the beginning with every intent of being vaguely close to the truth but what came out was, “What the hell?”

  That was prompted by the green faerie dust that fell over Officer Howard’s head, leaving a residue of glitter over his face. His eyes rolled up into his head and I hopped to my feet, expecting to have to catch him as he passed out. Somehow, though, the cop stayed on his feet, swaying slightly like a tree branch in a spring breeze.

  “What?” Aelfie complained from behind the bar, his head emerging to join the glowing hand he had already snuck above it. “We certainly cannot afford to tell the police what actually happened.”

  I stalked over to the Elf, pointing back at the poor, befuddled officer. “What did you do to him, Aelfie?” He looked at me like I was a crazy lady and that only made me angrier. “Tell me!”

  “It’s nothing really, Lady Stone,” he deflected. We had already dropped back into Truespeech as he backed up a step, raising his hands defensively. “It’s a simple memory charm, a pittance of high magic.”

  I frowned, planting my hands on my hips. “Memory charm? Are you going to play with that poor man’s mind? He was only doing his job, you know, and – “

  “You were about to talk and you do not fully understand the importance of our secrecy yet, so – “

  “No, you be quiet and let me finish!” A life in entertainment had taught me how to really project and I’m only a little humble-bragging to say I have powerful lungs to boot. Aelfread had a look of confusion as he instinctively flinched back. “You just confirmed what I was about to say. You decided that you knew best, that after we already had a long talk about this whole secret world thing I was going to blab to the cops.” I wagged my finger up at his stupid, gorgeous face. “You came to me for help so you have to trust me to help you!”

  Despite the intense back-and-forth, Officer Howard didn’t stir, continuing his slow waver back and forth, with a thin bit of drool starting to collect at a corner of his mouth.

  Aelfie bristled a bit, a hint of haughtiness showing as he straightened up. “Words don’t lead to understanding, dear Dwarf, and I respect you enough to assume you know that. I have duties and responsibilities as a noble of the Elven court to ensure that the deception remains intact.” He crossed his arms over his chest with a creak of leather. “As for trust, what do you expect of me? Circumstance and fate have drawn us together but it has been but an hour or two. The fact that I have entrusted you with my life speaks volumes but that doesn’t mean I can trust you with everything, can I?”

  I felt stupid because his words stung. They shouldn’t have, they were imminently logical, but they hurt all the same. “Oh, and here I thought that you were going to be open and honest from here on out. Which is it then? More lies or more honesty?”

  “This isn’t about lies,” he snapped. “It’s about how much I should tell you, for your own good and mine.” He leaned forward not to look down at me, but down on me for the first time. “I’m offering you everything you could ever want if you’d only let me.”

  That’s what really set my teeth on edge. I might be an ugly, nasty freak but I wasn’t going to be talked down to. Clenching my fists and arching up on my toes, I didn’t back down an inch.

  “Oh, sure, you promise the moon and stars and maybe, just maybe I believe you could do all that, I don’t deny it.” I matched Aelfie glare for glare. “But did you ever think that maybe I’m not doing this for a reward? Maybe I’m just helping someone I thought might be like me, a freak and an outcast, and maybe I’d like to do that with what few principles and little dignity I have left!”

  There, it was all out on the table for the thick-headed, pointy eared schmuck to understand.

  Those glittering eyes softened right before Aelfie turned his face away. “Lake�
��s mists, you must think me such a cad.” He straightened back up to his full height, affecting his usual casual lean. “You must forgive me. I have never had to deal with an orphan before, especially under such grueling circumstances.”

  Maybe he didn’t fully ‘get it’ but the apology was something. “Fine then, apology accepted. Let us just try to approach all this as equals, right?” I ran my hands down my face and tried to relax my muscles, even as my fingers caught in the mess of tangles that my stupid beard had become.

  Aelfread was nodding, about to say something that was hopefully going to be productive when the curse came unbidden to my lips. “Damn this stupid thing! If only you’d stay gone when I cut you!”

  I had said those words a million times before, to be sure, often to the sympathetic nods of what friends I had so the gasp of horror that escaped Aelfie’s lips was wholly unexpected. Before I could blink, he was down on one knee, hands on my shoulders. “Never speak those words again, I beseech you!”

  My first instinct to punch him in his glorious jaw was repressed more from surprise than conscious effort. Besides, his soft, supple hands felt quite good resting where they were. I managed to work the surprise into a look of disbelief. “You can’t mean that, Aelfie. It’s horrible, ugly, a big, burning mark of how much a freak show I am. I may have to live with it but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

  “Oh, how you have suffered at ignorant hands, Mary.” Words like that would make you think of pity, but Aelfread’s tone was soft, sympathetic. “You are right about me. I am an outcast, a stranger among my peers but you are wrong about yourself. You might be estranged from the normal human world but you are no freak.”

  “Now you’re lying again.” He wasn’t, I knew that, but there was a part of me that couldn’t accept what he was saying. “I mean, I’m – “