Split

by Alicia Rades

  Aaron laughed at Dani. “But you’re a cheerleader. Aren’t you supposed to dance?”

  “That’s different,” Dani defended. “We choreograph our dances.”

  Aaron raised his brows as if to say, You got me there. “Well, I don’t know about you, but this is a dance, and I came here to dance.” He stood and held his hand out to me. “Would you like to join me?”

  I glanced back at the crowd. I wasn’t exactly an avid dancer, but I longed to hang out with my friends. A couple of them were on the dance floor, and it might be my only chance tonight to enjoy it with them. Why didn’t I just go with them? I caught myself thinking. What did I miss out on by going with Aaron instead? I forced my eyes back toward Aaron because I knew he was waiting for an answer. “Sure.”

  Once we stepped onto the dance floor, I found my way over to Holly and Emily and mimicked their motions. Mostly, it was jumping up and down, but I still felt silly. Aaron stayed close.

  “Hey, Maddie,” they both greeted together over the sound of the music.

  I smiled back. “Are you guys having fun?”

  “What?” Holly asked, moving in closer to hear me.

  “I said, are you having fun?”

  “Yeah!”

  I didn’t try talking again because it was hard to hear anyone with the speakers blasting next to us. So instead, I just jumped up and down and watched Jordan take the spotlight. A few students nearby were grinding against each other, but it wasn’t long before a chaperone came up to scold them. The two separated, and the girl ran off toward the bathroom in anger.

  When the song shifted, Aaron pulled me into his arms and swayed back and forth with me. We didn’t say a thing. That gave me time for my eyes to wander. I noticed Alaina and Jordan nearby in an embrace. Holly and Blake danced together next to them, and Emily and her date swayed on the other end of the dance floor. Someone was missing. I scanned the tables and chairs across the room for any sign of Logan. Did he even come? Disappointment that I couldn’t quite explain washed over me when I realized that was a very real possibility. Still, I continued my search.

  By the last chorus of the song, I had determined he wasn’t there. A moment later, I spotted his wispy blond hair in the doorway. He entered the gym and headed over to the same table I saw my friends sitting at earlier. He must have just been in the bathroom, I figured.

  The song ended, and Aaron and I parted.

  “I’m going to get a drink,” he told me.

  “Okay.”

  He headed off, and I crossed the dance floor in the opposite direction. Alaina was on her way back to her table after the slow song, but I caught her before she made it.

  “Hey, Alaina.”

  She turned to me. “Yeah?” Her voice was upbeat and happy.

  “How’s Logan doing?”

  She glanced at him quickly. He didn’t pay us any attention. “Oh, uh, I think he’s fine, but he doesn’t have a date. I feel kind of bad for him.”

  I frowned. “Yeah, I kind of do, too.”

  “Well, I know Emily said there was this girl in choir who would have gone with him if he asked her. I think she was talking about Jennifer.” Alaina crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s kind of by choice that he didn’t come with a date.”

  At least he had the choice, but what did that mean? That he didn’t want to date anyone unless it was me? Or did it have nothing to do with me at all? Maybe it was just my narcissism, but something told me that it had everything to do with me.

  Logan’s lyrics darted into my head in that moment. We could have been something great.

  Maybe, I thought, but now we’ll never know. I didn’t realize how long I stared in his direction until Alaina’s voice broke my trance.

  “Do you want to go over there and talk to him?” she asked.

  “What?” I shook my head. “No. I think that would just be awkward for both of us.”

  “You could come over and sit by me. I could use the company.”

  “Don’t you want to dance?” I glanced back at the group on the floor and saw that Aaron had returned from getting his drink. He moved almost as confidently as Jordan.

  Alaina shrugged. “I’m not really a dancer, and it doesn’t help when your boyfriend is a million times better than you. Besides, then Logan would be all alone at our table.”

  I glanced between her and Logan and then back at Aaron. “I guess I’ll join you.” I was interested in seeing how Logan was doing, and Aaron seemed to be having enough fun that he wouldn’t notice my absence. Logan looked up at us as we approached the table, but he didn’t say anything. In fact, none of us said anything throughout the next several songs. I had a feeling my presence was the source of the awkward energy surrounding our table.

  After several songs, Aaron surprised me by making his way to my friends’ table where I sat. “There you are!” He placed a light kiss on my forehead. “You ran off on me. Do you want a drink or anything?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m fine.”

  “Anyone else?” he asked, addressing Logan and Alaina.

  I didn’t miss the scowl Logan shot back at him. They both declined his offer.

  “Okay,” Aaron said and then directed his attention back to me. “I’ll be back in a bit. You should get out on the dance floor for the next song. It’s a lot of fun.”

  I managed to muster a shy smile. “Okay.”

  Aaron hurried out of the doors of the gymnasium, presumably to stop at the bathroom. Just as he exited the doors, the melody shifted, and a slow song came on. Alaina stood to join Jordan on the dance floor, leaving Logan and me in awkward silence.

  “I thought you were going to dance the next song,” Logan pointed out. His attempt at conversation caught me slightly off guard. I’d figured he was still upset at me.

  “Well, yeah, but Aaron isn’t back yet,” I said softly while gazing down at my hands knotted in my lap.

  “You don’t need Aaron to dance,” he pointed out.

  “Well, how else would I dance to a slow song?” Heat rushed to my cheeks when I lifted my eyes to look at him.

  He raised his eyebrows. “You could dance with me.”

  My breath caught in my throat. That was the surprise of the night. “I could, but …”

  “Just one song?” he pleaded. “You owe it to me.”

  I furrowed my brow. “How do you figure that?”

  Logan let out a laugh, and it softened my mood. “I don’t know. I just thought that might get you out on the dance floor with me.” His smile was infectious.

  “Okay,” I breathed. After all, Aaron did say I should get out on the dance floor for the next song, and seeing as he wasn’t there at the moment, I’d take the one partner I could find. “But just as friends.”

  “Just as friends,” Logan confirmed.

  I held his left hand in my right and settled my other hand on his shoulder, keeping a generous amount of distance between our bodies. I didn’t think friends danced with their bodies slammed against each other the way Aaron and I had been dancing earlier. Logan didn’t seem to mind the distance. The first few moments of silence between us felt more awkward than the last several minutes seated at his table combined. It was probably because I was forced to look at him.

  “So,” I started in an attempt to minimize the awkwardness. “Do anything fun lately?”

  “You mean, besides make a complete and utter fool out of myself? No.”

  I tilted my head in confusion until I realized what he was referring to. “Complete and utter fool? You mean singing that song to me? It wasn’t that bad.”

  Logan’s gaze dropped to his feet. “Well, it sure felt like it.”

  “Excuse me,” another voice cut in.

  My gaze darted over to Aaron, who stood just feet away from me. I hadn’t even heard him approach. I dropped my hand from Logan’s shoulder, but his grip tightened on my right hand.

  “Oh,” I said. “We were just—” I glanced between both of them.

  “Dan
cing,” Logan finished for me. He continued to lead me around in a circle even though Aaron stood right there, ready to lay his rightful claim on me.

  “As friends,” I clarified, shooting a glance at Logan.

  “Perhaps I can cut in now,” Aaron suggested lightly, but the look on his face didn’t match his tone.

  I was about to pull away from Logan and join Aaron when Logan tightened his hold around my waist.

  “She promised me one song. That’s it,” Logan said without ceasing our swaying.

  Aaron’s expression grew more distressed. “Well, I’m here now, and I’m her boyfriend. So I’ll take over.”

  At this point, it didn’t sound like I had a say in it. This was no longer about who got to dance with me. They fought over me like they thought whoever finished the song with me would end up with me forever.

  “If you guys don’t stop, I’m not dancing with anyone.” My voice came out strong and confident. I had no idea how I managed that considering I felt more nervous than anything.

  Logan’s grip on my hand tightened so much that the ends of my fingers began turning red. Aaron was practically blowing smoke from his nostrils now.

  “You don’t have the right to dance with her.” Aaron’s typical calm voice held an edge of anger that I’d never heard before.

  “It was her choice,” Logan bit back.

  I was about to set them straight again and tell them that I was done dancing, that I didn’t want to dance with either of them, but before I could, Aaron’s arms dove between Logan and me in an attempt to force us apart.

  “Just let her go!” Aaron shouted.

  Logan did let me go but only so he could retaliate. His fist came out to connect with Aaron’s shoulder.

  Okay. I lied earlier. This was definitely the surprise of the night.

  Aaron shot back with a punch to Logan’s jaw.

  “Stop it!” I called to them both, but they continued like they didn’t hear me. Any rational girl would have waited for a chaperone to rush over and break up their fight. They were probably already on their way, but I didn’t take the time to look up and process my surroundings. No doubt people were already starting to stare. But I was already in the middle of this, and I dove in further by throwing my body between them. “Stop it!” I shouted again.

  And that’s when a fist connected with my face. Somehow, I knew I was going down, but I couldn’t control it. The gymnasium faded to black, and I hit the floor.

  That’s when I remembered.

  Everything.

  CHAPTER 19

  I opened my eyes to twinkling lights above me. What had happened? Oh, right. Some idiot had knocked me out.

  Twice.

  I quickly became aware that I was lying on my back on the gymnasium floor, staring up at the lights the dance committee had hung from the ceiling. Both Logan’s and Aaron’s faces came into view. I glanced between them both.

  My eyes first fell on Aaron. Aaron, the guy who had taken me on an adventure through the mall, who had built a sheet fort with me in his living room, who had convinced me to join cheerleading and helped me make friends I never would have thought I’d like.

  My gaze flickered to Logan’s. Logan, the guy who had shared his beautiful lyrics with me, who had taken me to see Beauty and the Beast, who had surprised me with a romantic picnic at a beautiful waterfall.

  I stared back at Aaron. He was also the guy who told me I’d made the wrong choice and kissed me uninvitingly.

  I shifted my attention back to Logan. He was the guy who told me he still had feelings for me through a song.

  All of these thoughts flickered through my head before anyone even had a chance to speak. How was it that I remembered two different realities, one as equal as the other? The scariest part? I remembered them both so vividly that I had no idea which one I was living in at the moment.

  “Are you okay?” Aaron and Logan both asked at the same time.

  I didn’t answer right away. How did this happen? Did the punch to my face cause brain damage? Had I dreamt the other reality while I was out cold? It didn’t matter what theories I came up with to make rational sense out of the situation. I knew the truth. Chloe’s “splitting your heart in two” thing had worked. The lady was the real deal. But hadn’t she warned me about something? I must warn you that if you change your mind about the boy you choose, you risk losing them both, she had said.

  Now I knew what she meant. The moment I started questioning my decision—when Aaron kissed me and when Logan sang me his “pieces of dreams” song—my two worlds began to collide. And now? Now I remembered how amazing and equally frustrating it was to be with and without each of them. My heart once again ached for them both, and it sent me straight back to square one at lightning speed. I had no idea which one I was supposed to be with.

  The realization hit me only a split second after they both asked if I was okay. Though I was physically fine—apart from a pounding headache—I wasn’t okay. I couldn’t even remember if I’d been hit with an elbow or a fist.

  “We’re so sorry,” Logan said as he and Aaron reached down to grab my arms and pull me to a seated position.

  Aaron cupped my face in his hands and stared into my eyes, probably looking for signs of a concussion. I swatted his hands away. This was too much to deal with. Was I supposed to love him, or was I supposed to be upset that he kissed me without an invitation?

  When I glanced to Logan, the same conflicted emotions hit me. Should I be throwing myself into his arms or cursing him for … for what? Had he really done anything wrong? He sang me a song. He asked me to dance. Was that so bad? Yet he’d still done the same as Aaron had. He tried to get me to change my mind.

  One more flicker of my gaze between the two of them, and I knew. Though I remembered thinking to myself that I was supposed to be with each of them when I was with them, I knew there was only one person I could truly count on when it came to love. I knew who I had to choose. And I knew I needed Chloe to help set this madness straight.

  They both stared at me expectantly, and my mind began to clear. I noticed for the first time that a group had formed around us and that the music had stopped. Mr. Nelson knelt beside Logan and tried to get everyone else to back away and give me space.

  “I—” I managed to croak out, just barely. I cleared my throat and tried again. This time, my voice came out strong and confident. “I have to go.”

  And then I sprang to my feet and pushed through the crowd before anyone could grab ahold of me and slow me down. I burst through the gym doors and out into the chilly darkness. I didn’t slow my feet as I raced the few blocks back home. Only silence followed. I expected at least someone to come after me, but I was thankful they didn’t. I wouldn’t have been able to outrun them in my heels. Either way, I entered my house and rushed up to my bedroom alone.

  My father poked his head out of his office as I pounded up the stairs. “Everything all right, Maddie?”

  “I’m fine, Dad,” I called back down the stairs. It wasn’t true. The pounding in my head was only growing more intense, but I couldn’t deal with any questions from him or my mom right now. In my bedroom, I stripped off my jewelry and tossed it into my jewelry box. I wasn’t entirely sure which piece I’d just taken off, but perhaps in a way, I’d managed both. However it happened, the bracelet and necklace were both there.

  I hurried down the stairs as quickly as I had raced up them. At the bottom, I placed a kiss on my father’s cheek. “I’m fine, Daddy. I just had to get something. I’ll see you later.”

  He stared after me speechlessly as I raced to the garage and grabbed my bike. I held the jewelry box in one hand and steered my bike with the other. The whole time, I chanted in my head Please be there, Chloe. Please be there, Chloe. Yeah, it was late, but the girl managed to split my heart. She must have had some sort of magic that told her I was on my way.

  The bike ride to Chloe’s shop seemed twice as long as I thought it’d be, but eventually, I made it. I dropped
my bike onto the sidewalk and tried the door. Of course, it was locked. I desperately banged on it and called out to Chloe.

  “Okay, I’m here! I get it now. I know who I have to choose. Chloe?” I peered into the shop window the best I could, but inside was pitch black. The street lamp near me only illuminated the first few feet of the shop. “Chloe?” I called again.

  Nothing. I sighed and turned from the door. My gaze shifted up and down the street like I might find an answer there, but it was no use. Now that I wasn’t moving, I realized how cold it was. I crossed my arms over my chest for warmth, the jewelry box still in my hand. Just as I’d resolved to giving up, a voice spoke my name from behind me. A surge of hope coursed through me as I turned back toward the shop door. Chloe’s smiling face stared back at me.

  “Please, come in.” She opened the door wider, and I slipped inside.

  “You knew I’d be back,” I stated. I planted my feet near the dream catchers and stared into her face.

  She didn’t look the least bit confused. “It was a possibility.”

  “A possibility?”

  Chloe kindly gestured for me to follow her, and she led me past the beaded curtain into the pink room I’d been in the first time I visited. She explained before sitting down. “Maddie, I can’t see a definite future. I can only see possibilities. We all have free will. I wasn’t sure if you’d come back or not because it was your choice. You see?”

  I sank into the chair across from her. As soon as I sat, exhaustion hit. “I’m not sure. You said you had a feeling I’d be back, didn’t you?”

  She spoke in the same slow, melodic voice I’d heard before. “I did have a feeling. I also had a feeling you wouldn’t return.”

  “Okay.” I spoke the word slowly. I wasn’t entirely sure I understood, but there were more pressing matters to get to. “So, you know who I’m going to choose now?”

  Chloe shook her head. Her strawberry blond curls swayed across her shoulders. “There are many possible outcomes. The decision is yours.”