The Milkman

by Tabatha Kiss

  “Okay...” I nod. “That’s accurate.”

  “First of all...” Jovie raises her hand. “High five, dude.”

  I accept it with a half-smile. “Thanks.”

  “And second...”

  She leans forward and smacks the side of my head.

  “Ouch,” I deadpan.

  “What are you even thinking?!” she asks.

  “I don’t know!”

  “What is she thinking?”

  “I don’t—” I frown at her. “Hey, you’re the one who filled her head with that crap about me talking my way under skirts.”

  “Yeah, unmarried skirts.”

  “Well, apparently, my skills don’t discriminate based on marital status.”

  “So, you’re an equal opportunity idiot?” she quips.

  “Yes.”

  She scoffs, shaking her head in disappointment. “Kudos, though.”

  I blink. “Okay, are you supporting this or not?”

  “I don’t know! On one hand, you’re so stupid!” She exhales hard. “On the other, I love a good underdog story. I’m so very torn right now.”

  “Yeah. Welcome to my life, Jove.”

  She sits back in her chair. “Look, man, I’m not gonna lecture you. You obviously know what you’re doing and so does she... I’m guessing. It’s not my place to tell you what to do otherwise.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m not judging you...” She looks me in the eye. “But they will.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t care what they think.”

  “That’s what I said, too. But someday, you might. This is a small town, Nate. Everything gets out eventually and when this does, they will crucify both of you.”

  “Oh, come on.” I laugh. “You’re being dramatic.”

  “No, I’m speaking from my overwhelming life experience as Clover’s punching bag.”

  “This is different,” I argue. “Kimber’s unhappy. She’s trapped and lonely and he doesn’t love her.”

  She tilts her head. “Are you sure about that?”

  “Yes!”

  “So, what’s your plan?” she asks. “You swoop in the back door, act like the alpha hero for a while, and then... what? Leave town again? Make her pick up the pieces?”

  I go quiet.

  “Today was a close call but what about tomorrow?” she asks. “Or the next day?”

  “I get it, Jovie,” I say. “I get it. Believe me.”

  She turns her head to check on Joanne. Still bouncing. Bright eyes watching us with curiosity.

  “Just something to think about,” she says. “That’s all.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I gesture at the art supplies spread out on the table. “What’s all this stuff for?”

  Jovie’s eyes roll. “We can’t paint Mr. Warner’s barn this year, so Sara is making all members of the party planning committee do three posters each to hang and decorate the thing. Something patriotic and festive.”

  “Decorate for what?” I ask.

  “The Fourth of July hoedown this Saturday.”

  My jaw drops. “Oh, right. I forgot about that thing…”

  A perfect night flashes in my mind with pure clarity.

  Me and Kimber dancing in the moonlight.

  Kissing at the edge of the lake beneath the fireworks.

  “Should be oh-so-fun,” she says, her voice lacking all enthusiasm.

  “You know, Kimber paints,” I say. “She might be willing to help out if you ask.”

  “I already did. She said no.”

  “She did?”

  She nods. “Kimber said she didn’t want anything to do with the hoedown.”

  “What? Why?”

  Jovie’s eyes land on me. “Because it’s the hoedown.”

  “And?”

  She pauses. “Oh, that’s right. You weren’t here last year.”

  I turn my hands up, prompting her to explain.

  “The accident,” she says. “The one that left Kimber…” She points at her face. “That was the night of the hoedown.”

  I sit back. “Oh.”

  “Right? Poor thing.”

  “Yeah.” I stand up. “Anyway, I’m gonna go. Thanks for the towel.”

  “You’re welcome.” She waves at me. “Say, ‘Bye, milkman!’” she coos at the baby.

  Joanne giggles in her bouncy chair. I give her a smile and a wave before walking out the back door.

  I cross through the bushes between the lawns, my feet feeling heavy with each step toward the VanHouten house. I pause in front of the back door, thinking twice before reaching out and turning the knob.

  “Nate?”

  I step inside and Kimber rushes into the kitchen, her hand on her heart.

  She breathes a sigh of relief. “Where did you go?” she asks. “I was freaking out.”

  I close the door. “It’s all right. I just... laid low over at Jovie’s for a bit.”

  She comes in for a kiss and pulls back, touching my shirt. “Why are you wet?”

  “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I look into her face and smile. “Are you okay?”

  Kimber nods and smiles back at me. “Yeah...”

  She steps closer and lays her head on my chest as I hug my arms around her. I inhale her sweet scent, feeling a wave of euphoria as blood rushes to my head. But Jovie’s right. If we’re not more careful, this won’t end well for Kimber. I can pack up and leave at any moment, but she can’t. Not easily.

  Kimber turns her head up. She looks at me with those bright, happy eyes. The same eyes I saw when she removed that blindfold and revealed herself to me.

  Jovie may be right about some things but so am I.

  Curtis doesn’t love her.

  I do.

  Twenty-Four

  Kimber

  I linger on the edge of a tempting sleep. Nate’s hand travels up and down my naked hip, occasionally gliding all the way to my hairline and down again.

  “Kimber?”

  I keep my eyes closed but I smile at his voice beside me on the bed.

  “Hmm?” I hum.

  “Are you asleep?”

  “Al-mosh,” I say, my lips weak.

  He leans in and kisses my brow. “I gotta go soon,” he says.

  I wiggle my fingers and he chuckles as he takes my hand. He brings it to his lips and kisses my knuckles before holding it against his bare chest. His heart thumps along my fingertips, sending happy sensation up my arms.

  Nate leans in close again, his lips tickling my cheek.

  “Go to the hoedown with me,” he says.

  My eyes open. “What?”

  He pushes my hair back behind my ear. “Go with me,” he says again.

  I sit up onto my elbow and shake my head. “No,” I answer.

  “Okay, before you say the no you already said, hear me out—”

  “No,” I say again.

  “Kimber.”

  “Nate.”

  He smiles. “I know why you don’t want to go and I don’t blame you—”

  “Then, you really shouldn’t question it,” I say, leaning away from him.

  “Okay, wait, wait.” His comforting touch glides along my arm again. “Just listen to what I have to say. If it’s still a no in thirty seconds, then I won’t ask again. Please.”

  I clench my eyes closed. “Nate...”

  “Kimber, I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through,” he says. “I wasn’t there before but I’m here now... and I’m in absolute awe of you more and more every day.”

  I let my lids open and he smiles.

  “You’re so strong.” His gaze falls to my skin. “Just look at you. Inside and out. You took a chance on me and look how far you’ve come. I just want one night to show you the worst is behind you.”

  I take a deep breath, feeling the pull of fear in my chest.

  Nate eases closer, still smiling. “I want to spend the Fourth of July dancing with you,” he says.

  “Nate, we cou
ldn’t do that even if I did go,” I say. “The whole town goes to the hoedown. People would see us.”

  “Everybody dances with everybody at the hoedown,” he argues. “A dance with you here. A dance with Jovie there. Maybe a shimmy or two with Will’s mom and I’ll be right back to you.”

  I look into his playful eyes and my resolve starts to crumble.

  One night to show me the worst is behind me. One night to let go of the past and move forward, just like Dr. Sumner said I should do.

  “I don’t know...” I say.

  He kisses my forehead. “I’ll be right there beside you the whole time. Your friendly, platonic escort. On the surface, anyway.”

  “It’s not that, Nate.”

  “What is it?” he asks, caressing my cheek. “Show me the problem and throw me at it.”

  “It’s miles out of town,” I say weakly. “I can’t...”

  He nods, squinting in thought. After a moment, he smiles again.

  “Do you trust me?” he asks.

  I lean back. “With those crazy eyes? Not sure.”

  Nate chuckles. “You let me worry about getting you there. You worry about finding comfortable shoes to dance the night away in. All right?”

  I breathe out, my chest loosening. “Okay.”

  His eyes grow wide. “Really?”

  “Yeah,” I say. “I’ll go with you.”

  Nate rolls over me and I laugh at his ecstatic grin as he kisses me all over.

  “Thank you,” he says. “It’s gonna be great, I promise.”

  My chest tingles as images flash in my head.

  Dancing with Nate beneath the stars.

  Watching the fireworks go off with his arms wrapped around my waist.

  Sneaking a kiss in the darkened corners.

  A perfect night… for the perfect friendly, platonic couple.

  The more I picture it, the better it feels. A week ago, any thought of the hoedown steered me toward a panic attack but now...

  Nate Scott has changed me. I feel safe around him. I want to see how far I can go.

  “Do you have to leave yet?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “I can play hooky for a little while longer,” he says, his eyes on my lips.

  Twenty-Five

  Kimber

  I walk to Dr. Sumner’s house feeling a little lighter than usual.

  Until tonight, part of me dreaded my weekly talk with her. Maybe it was the thought of watching Curtis scowl through the whole thing while I poured my heart out, assuming he even bothered to show up at all. Or how I never really felt strong enough to do anything she told me to do. But this time...

  Be selfish. I may have taken that too far.

  But it feels damn good.

  I reach her house and walk around to the side door where her home office is. I hear laughter behind the door as I push it open but I think nothing of it until my eyes land on the man sitting in the armchair across from Dr. Sumner.

  Curtis.

  “Kimber!” Sumner greets me with a smile. “You’re right on time.”

  I close the door, my eyes still locked on Curtis. “Hi, Dr. Sumner...”

  Curtis smiles at me and stands up from his chair. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

  “Nothing,” I say. “You’re... well, here.”

  “Thursday nights, 8 PM. Right?”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “Well, come on.”

  He gestures to our seats and I ease forward to sit down.

  What is happening?

  “Curtis was just telling me about your progress,” Sumner says.

  I glance between them. “Oh, yeah?”

  “Am I right, though?” Curtis asks Sumner. “She looks different?”

  I grow tense as they both stare at me.

  Sumner nods. “It’s what I’ve noticed the last few weeks. Yes.”

  “When I told my parents she was actually leaving the house again, they didn’t believe me,” he says.

  I frown. “You talked to your parents about me?”

  His hand brushes my knee. “Oh, just small talk this week while I was gone. They’re happy you’re doing well. In fact, I’ve invited them to dinner this weekend so they can see for themselves.”

  I hold my breath. “You did?”

  “My mother is dying to see you again.”

  “Well, that sounds wonderful,” Sumner says, sensing my coldness. “Doesn’t it, Kimber? “

  I stare at the floor. A whole night hosting Patrick and Liana VanHouten isn’t exactly my idea of wonderful.

  “When this weekend?” I ask him.

  “Saturday night,” he says.

  “The hoedown is on Saturday.”

  Curtis leans back and his face screws up. “The hoedown?”

  “You decided to go?” Sumner asks me.

  “Well, I...” I nod. “Yes. I did. I want to go.”

  “Darling, we don’t need to go to that,” Curtis says. “No, I think it’s better if we just let it pass and we spend a quiet evening with family. That’s the best thing to do, right, Doctor?”

  Sumner considers it. “I think it’s up to her how she wants to attack her issues. She’s been very proactive lately. Going to the hoedown might be exactly she needs.”

  “Or it could break her and we’d be right back where we started,” he argues.

  Disappointment grips my chest. “I made plans. Why did you invite people over without consulting me first?”

  “Why did you make plans without consulting me first?” he asks back.

  “Because I...” My voice falls.

  “Kimber, why would you want to drag me to that thing again anyway?” he adds. “It’s awful. You know I hate it.”

  “It’s a town tradition.”

  “So?”

  “You wouldn’t understand, Curtis. I grew up here. You didn’t. You don’t have to go but I made plans with my friends.”

  “And you thought I wanted to spend the holiday alone while my wife goes off to some barn party?”

  “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d care at all. You never did before. Why would you start now?”

  He pauses.

  Sumner clears her throat. “How about we back up and unpack this, piece-by-piece?”

  “No.” Curtis raises a hand, his eyes down on the floor. “She’s right. I deserved that.”

  I stare at his expression, finding that same sincerity he had the other day before he left town.

  “I haven’t been there for her when I should have.” He takes a breath. “I didn’t... understand why she couldn’t just get over it. Why our lives couldn’t go back to normal. I closed her out and I’m sorry for that.”

  He lifts his eyes and looks at me.

  “I’m sorry,” he says again. “I wasn’t there before but I’m here now and I really think the last thing we need is to keep reminding ourselves of the past. I want to move forward. Together.”

  My heart bleeds. “Why now?” I ask him.

  He smiles. “There’s something different about you. I don’t know. Something sparked in you and I realized that... I missed it. I don’t want to miss anymore.”

  “Has it not occurred to you that if you were there sooner, you would have caused it?” I ask, my voice breaking.

  He exhales. “Yes. And I’m sorry.”

  I swallow hard, fighting tears.

  Curtis turns in his chair toward me. “Darling, please—”

  “Don’t call me that,” I say.

  He drops his head and goes quiet.

  “Kimber,” Sumner says.

  I look at her and she shrugs a shoulder.

  This is what she and I have talked about, right?

  All we’ve been waiting for is for him to show the bare minimum of effort to save our marriage. Now, here he is. He showed up. He’s talking.

  He’s trying.

  But he’s too late.

  Guilt stabs my chest. I made my selfish choice already.

  How can we ever go back to normal a
fter what I’ve done?

  I can only try. It’s the bare minimum I can do.

  “Okay,” I say. I look my husband in the eye. “I won’t go to the hoedown.”

  Curtis extends his hand for mine. I hold it out but he stops to stare at my glove. He takes it with hesitation and he forces another smile as he looks at me.

  Twenty-Six

  Nate

  Thank God it’s Friday.

  Next stop, the weekend. Not just any weekend. Fourth of July weekend.

  The air is full of the little, intermittent pop of firecrackers.

  Kids chase each other down Main Street with sparklers.

  Signs hang in the town square: Hoedown. The Warner’s farm. Music begins at sundown. 10 PM fireworks. Contact Sara for carpool details.

  A man needs something to look forward to and picturing a beautiful blonde swaying in my arms is getting me through some long nights until then.

  Just one more night.

  But first, I gotta work.

  I won’t say no to a little tease, though...

  I park in front of the VanHouten house. It’s Friday, so I pack a milk crate with Kimber’s usual large grocery order, plus a few extras because I’m just nice like that. I hop down and make my way up the sidewalk.

  The back door comes into view and I catch sight of the two empty bottles sitting on the stoop.

  I crack a smile. She remembered. She’s been thinking about me.

  Hell yeah, she has.

  I brace the crate beneath one arm and reach for the doorknob with the other.

  It doesn’t move.

  Locked.

  I look around for prying eyes before giving the door two quick knocks. I wait a few moments with my ear by the door, listening for her on the other side. Nothing.

  “Hey, Kimber?” I say, knocking again. “It’s me.”

  Still nothing.

  “Kiiiim-ber?” I sing. “Oh, Kiiiiii-”

  Finally, the lock turns. The door opens slowly and I smile on her face.

  “Weekly food delivery, ma’am. Want it on the table?” I lean forward, tipping my hat. “As usual?” I add with a wink.

  Kimber’s lips twitch but they don’t quite make it to the full smile I love so much. She takes a step back and opens the door wider for me to step inside.