The Milkman

by Tabatha Kiss

  “Infuriating.”

  “And smart,” she finishes. “If she doesn’t want to tell you where she’s been, she probably has a good reason for it.”

  “I know.” I exhale hard. “It’s not my business but it is my business if the answer to any of those questions is me.”

  “Give her time, Will.”

  “I gave her time, Mom. I gave her four years.”

  “Then, you give her more time. You give her all the time in the world because you’re right — it’s not any of your business. Even if you’re the one who pushed her away in the first place. Even if you’re the one who brought her crawling back here after all this time. It’s not your business until Jovie decides to make it your business and you need to come to terms with the fact that that may never happen.”

  The pang in my chest travels through my toes and back. “Damn,” I say. “That’s some tough love, Mom. Thanks a bunch.”

  She smiles. “Tough is my favorite kind of love. It always ends in comfort food.” She rises off the bed. “Come on. Your dad doesn’t know that I know where he hides the good Oreos.”

  “No, you should get back to work. I’m fine.”

  “I’m sure Beverly Trin won’t mind waiting an extra ten minutes on Novocain before I yank her molar out. Now, come on.”

  I follow behind her, feeling that note burning a hole in my pocket all the way to the kitchen.

  Don’t wait for me.

  It was right there on torn paper this whole time.

  That night, Jovie packed a bag. She got in her car to leave town but she stopped by my parents’ house first. Usually, her notes would be perfectly slid into place between the window and the sill, trapped there so nothing could accidentally pull it out. This one was tossed inside.

  She was in a hurry.

  What the hell were you running from, Jovie?

  Nine

  Jovie

  We’re through. That much is obvious now.

  Will and I couldn’t make it one conversation without it becoming a shouting match. He’s not over the fact that I left but it’s not all his fault. Thoughts and feelings I once believed long dead were lying dormant inside of me just waiting for the moment when I finally saw his face again.

  At least, now I know. Now I can stop playing what-if with myself and move on.

  The entry bell rings across the toy store. I don’t look up from the inventory list, though. If I don’t get this finished by the end of my shift today, Mr. Trin will have my ass.

  “Hello!” I greet, turning the page over to the backside.

  Whoever it is doesn’t answer but I hear the loud clack of high heels bounding toward the counter. I look up as they stop and instantly wish I hadn’t.

  Sara stands in front of me, staring hard at me through her swept, brown bangs. Will’s big sister. Still just as tall and intimidating as she always was.

  I really don’t need this today.

  “Hello, Jovie,” she says.

  “Hey, Sara,” I say, throwing on a forced pleasant face. “How may I help you?”

  Her eyes drift down my red smock as her pointed nose sticks a little higher up into the air. “You can start by explaining what you’re doing here.”

  “Earning minimum wage.”

  “Not here,” she says. “In Clover.”

  I let out a thick sigh. “That’s not really any of your business.”

  “You have a lot of nerve coming back, Jovie.”

  “To my home town?”

  “To Will’s life.”

  I shake my head and glance down at my list again. “Wow… so this is still your thing, huh?”

  “What is?”

  “Sticking your big nose where it doesn’t belong.”

  She snatches the list from my hand. I feel a rage spike in my chest but I hold it back. “Will is my brother,” she argues.

  “And he’s a big boy,” I say.

  “Stay away from him.”

  “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told you like… six years ago.” I lean forward and steal the list right back. “Piss off. Will’s an adult. He can take care of himself. He doesn’t need you to hold his hand when he crosses the street anymore.”

  She stands a little taller. “You know what this sounds like to me?”

  “Like you need a hobby?” I quip.

  “Like you need a gentle reminder of our arrangement.”

  “Look, Sara.” I step back. “I didn’t come back here to reunite with Will. We even talked last night and agreed that seeing each other while I’m here — in any capacity — wasn’t going to happen. So, retract your claws, okay?”

  “Then, why did you come back?”

  “Okay, now we’re just going in circles.”

  “I’m not going to play games with you, Jovie. Either you leave town or I’ll tell him everything that happened.”

  “I didn’t do anything,” I mutter.

  “It’ll be your word against mine,” she says. “Who exactly do you think he’s going to believe? His sister, who stuck by him when he needed it the most, or the girl who felt like this place was so far beneath her that she abandoned him?”

  “I did not abandon him.”

  “Doesn’t matter.”

  “The truth doesn’t matter?” I fire back.

  “You can cast me the villain all you want but, in the end, he will never forgive you for what you took from him and we both know it.”

  Nausea wrecks my gut. “You can go now.”

  “And so can you. How much?” she continues. “How much is not breaking Will’s heart all over again worth to you?”

  “I don’t want your money,” I say.

  “Still took it before, didn’t you?”

  I go silent, clenching my teeth together and digging my nails into the counter top to cling to it.

  Sara leans forward. “Just out of curiosity, what did you do with it?”

  “I donated it to charity,” I spit.

  “I don’t mean the money, Jovie.”

  I inhale slowly. “That’s really none of your business. Now, if you have any questions about the latest line of collector ornaments, I’m happy to assist you. Otherwise, I’ll kindly ask you to fuck off.”

  She smiles and takes a step back. “Good talk. Stay away from my brother.”

  I close my eyes and listen until her heels clack off and the entry bell chimes again. I wait until I can’t hear anything else before letting my knees give out and collapsing to the floor beneath the counter with tears burning my eyelids.

  I didn’t do anything.

  Ten

  Jovie

  Exhaustion’s a bitch. Being on my feet all day, lugging around boxes and counting inventory is one thing. Doing so with all of this emotional weight on my shoulders is another thing entirely. Between that spat with Will and the run-in with Sara, I’m ready to curl up in a fetal position and sleep for days.

  Just a few more steps and I’ll be able to do just that.

  I walk into my father’s house and my nose instantly twitches from the scent of cigarettes and booze.

  “You’re late.”

  Hank sits in his chair with both suspects in either hand. The bottle is nearly empty and the cigarette is down so low it’s about to burn his fingertips.

  I sigh as I pass by him. “I was working.”

  “I mean your rent!”

  I pause in the hallway. “I told you I get paid next week,” I say. “And we agreed that I could pay for repairs on my car first. You gave me an extension. Remember?”

  “I need it now,” he slurs.

  “Well, I don’t have it now.”

  He gestures at me. “You had enough to buy new clothes.”

  “These are old,” I say. “From high school. They were in my closet.”

  “I need it now!”

  I close my eyes. “I don’t have it.”

  “Then, get out!”

  “Where the hell am I supposed to go?”

  “The fucking bank.�
��

  “It’s nine PM.”

  He growls as he tries to stand up but he slips and falls right back down. “Jovie—!”

  I hold my head in my hands, feeling the harsh pulse of blood pounding inside. It hurts but I honestly don’t have enough left in me to scream.

  “You know what? Never mind.” I spin around and bolt down the hall to my room.

  “Where are you going?!” he shouts after me.

  I don’t answer. I grab my backpack off the floor and stuff the necessities inside. My wallet, my keys, whatever pieces of clothing are handy and within reach.

  As I step into the hall, he’s managed to pull himself out of his chair but he leans on the wall to keep himself upright.

  “What’s in your bag?”

  I cut through to the kitchen and escape out the back door.

  “Jovie!”

  I’m sure the neighbors are going to love this. There goes old Hank Ross, shouting out into the night after his wayward daughter, Jovie. No wonder she’s so screwed up. No wonder she’ll never amount to anything. Look who raised her, after all.

  Some things never change.

  No matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to shake off the stigma of being Hank Ross’ daughter. Clover sure as hell won’t let me forget it.

  I walk down the street, pulling my jacket a little tighter around me as a cold wind slaps my face.

  Now what?

  Eleven

  Will

  Don’t wait for me.

  I stare at the dark blue ink on wide-ruled paper, just barely making out the letters beneath the dim lights above Lucky’s bar.

  “Dude,” Tucker nudges my arm, “you need to stop gawking at that thing.”

  “Not until I figure out what it means.”

  “It’s meaningless!” he shouts, a slight slur in his speech. “It has no meaning.”

  I lay the note down and press it out flat. “Jovie wanted me to see this. She wanted me to know she was leaving town. Why?”

  Tucker waves his arms. “Because she wanted you to hop on your valiant steed and chase her through the countryside!”

  “You think so?”

  He slaps his forehead. “No! I don’t think so! I think Jovie snapped, she packed a bag, and she took off, but she didn’t want you doing exactly what you’re doing right now.”

  I pick up my beer. “Which is?”

  “Being a total freakin’ buzzkill.”

  My mind wanders back in time to replay the events again, just like I’ve done a thousand times already since last night. “I asked her to marry me.”

  Tucker flinches in my direction. “You did?”

  “Yeah.”

  “When?”

  “The day before she left.” I scan the decorations above the bar. Pink hearts and shiny, red ribbons. “On Valentine’s Day, actually.”

  His mouth sags. “What did she say?”

  “She said no,” I say. “Or, I thought she did. That’s how I interpreted it at the time but now I’m not so sure.”

  “What didn’t you understand?”

  “Last night, she said she didn’t say no. She just needed a few days to think about it but that’s not how it should be, right? It’s supposed to be a gut response. Yes, I love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you, or no, I don’t.”

  “And you expected Jovie Ross to answer that on the spot?”

  I shrug. “Yeah.”

  “Dude…” He shakes his head while pouring half his bottle down his throat.

  “What?” I ask.

  “No wonder she dumped you.”

  “She didn’t dump me.”

  He furrows his brow. “You broke up with her?”

  “Yeah, the next day.”

  “I thought it was the other way around.” He twists on his stool to face me. “You’re telling me you asked my cousin to marry you and then took it back the next day? I feel a compelling urge to kick your ass right now.”

  “It wasn’t that simple, all right?”

  “Enlighten me, then. Complex this shit up or we’ll take this outside.”

  I laugh at his stiff expression. “You know, I almost believe you, Tucker.”

  He relaxes. “I’m mostly serious.”

  I nudge the paper in front of me. “Even with this, I feel like there’s a piece of the puzzle still missing. I always assumed Jovie was angry and that’s why she left. If that were true, then she never would have left this, right? She would have wanted to leave me hanging and she wouldn’t have cared how I felt about it. Right?”

  “I don’t know,” Tucker says, trying to take another drink from his empty bottle.

  My eyes drift to the table-for-two in the corner behind us. “We shouted and argued with each other, almost like no time had passed at all.”

  “Sounds awful.”

  “No, it was just the opposite. I mean… think about it, Tuck, if Jovie and I fight with the same passion as we used to, then that means that everything else about us is still there — just waiting beneath the surface to be reignited in some way.”

  “You’ve lost me, man.”

  I stare at my reflection across the bar. “This isn’t over.”

  “Damn right, it’s not!” He belches. “This night is just getting started. Yo, Lucky! Can we get two more?”

  I silently shake my head, basking in the sudden clarity and wisdom until a vibration rattles my pocket.

  I reach inside for my phone, curious to see who’s calling me at this hour. “It’s Marv,” I read aloud.

  Tucker’s face screws up as I answer it.

  “Hey, Marv.”

  “Hey, Will,” he says. “I just got a frantic call from Lola down the street. Says she saw some hooded bastard breaking into the shop. Can you go check it out?”

  I squint. “Why aren’t you calling the police?”

  “Because the local cops are idiots.”

  “And why can’t you go check it out?”

  “Just do it, Will. You live closer. I’m busy.”

  I open my mouth to explain how many drinks I’ve imbibed tonight but he hangs up before I can speak. I grunt with annoyance and gesture to the exit.

  “Tuck, let’s go.”

  “Go where?” he asks.

  “Marv says there’s been a break-in at the shop. Wants us to check it out.”

  He stares at me. “But I’m drunk.”

  “I know.”

  “And so are you.”

  “I know that, too.”

  “Okay!” He slides off the stool and grins. “This should be fun.”

  “Hey, Lucky!” I shout over the bar. “We’re taking off.”

  She calls out from the back room. “Your tab’s getting awfully high, Myers!”

  I laugh. “I’ll take care of it soon, I promise.”

  Tucker and I stumble outside into the cold. I shiver and zip up my jacket.

  “Want me to drive?” Tucker asks, fumbling into his pocket for his keys.

  “Hell no. We’ll walk it.”

  “But it’s cold.”

  “We’ll live, man. It’s like three blocks.”

  We stumble back into town, whistling and humming to keep ourselves warm.

  “So, Valentine’s Day, huh?” Tucker asks as we reach the town square.

  “Yeah.” My teeth chatter. “What about it?”

  “It’s just…” he chuckles. “You’ve always hated it. Makes sense now why.”

  “Well… Valentine’s Day was always a really horrible time for me and Jovie.”

  “Why?”

  “Something bad always happened on Valentine’s. Something would trigger one of us off and we’d have a huge fight. Usually over absolutely nothing at all but it was like clockwork.” I pause to kick a can off the curb. “That year, I wanted to get ahead of it and do something I never thought would start a fight. Turns out, I was very, very wrong.”

  Tucker sighs but says nothing more as we cross the street toward the shop. He slows to a crawl and slink
s over to the windows to peek inside.

  “See anything?” I ask.

  “Nah.”

  I take a look myself. Shadows cover every inch of the place, lying along the cars and parts scattered on every bench.

  I pull at the entrance door and it slides right open.

  “That was locked before,” Tucker points out.

  We walk in and I close it behind us. I tap the flashlight on my phone to illuminate my path and Tucker does the same. I point to the left, signaling that I’ll take this side and Tucker nods before shuffling away toward the opposite wall.

  I stiffen up in the darkness, ready to pounce on any attacker who dares take me on.

  Bring it on, murderers and thieves. I’m Will freakin’ Myers.

  “Will,” Tucker whispers. “Over here.”

  I flinch but quickly relax to hide it. “Where are you?”

  “Over here.”

  “Where?”

  “Just get over here, Will.”

  I follow his voice in the dark to find him standing beside Jovie’s little, blue car.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  He gestures into the window and I look inside to see Jovie lying across the backseat. Her backpack is stuffed under her head like a pillow. She’s wrapped up in her coat with the hood barely covering her head. Her eyes twitch, deep in slumber.

  I tap my flashlight off, feeling instantly sober. “Tuck, call Marv. Tell him it was a false alarm.”

  “And what are you gonna do?”

  “Just do it, man.”

  He lowers his light, hesitating for a moment before nodding. “All right.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I say, keeping a concerned eye on Jovie.

  Tucker walks off slowly. As he approaches the garage exit, I hear him talking into his phone and the door slides closed.

  I watch her sleep and suddenly remember the last time I did. It was a cold night in February. I’d already bought the ring I planned to give her. I sat at my desk, trying to come up with the perfect way to propose to her, when I heard the knock on my window. There she was, standing outside with tears in her eyes.

  ‘Hank,’ she said.

  I let her inside and she curled up in my bed like a shaking cat. I spent the night with one eye on her and another on my door just in case anyone decided to come walking in without knocking. She snuck out with the sunrise the next morning. I never did get an explanation but I never got the chance to ask for one either.