by S R Watson
“Oh my God, Harlow. I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it like that,” he apologizes. I put my hand up, then put my arm around her and lead her to the bedroom. I’m so mad at his unobservant ass that I don’t give a shit what he thinks about me comforting her. I bring her into the room and put the lock on the door.
“I’ll be okay,” she tries.
“I know. I’m not going anywhere, so it’s just you and me.” I crawl into bed and pull her in with me. We’ll figure this shit out later, but for right now, we have each other. This room is our bubble. We don’t have to deal with the reality here. In here, it’s just us.
“Okay,” she agrees. She snuggles against me—her back to my front, and we give each other comfort. It’s not long before sleep finds us both.
Harlow
I don’t know how much time passes. I wake up in Phoenix’s embrace, and the bus is now moving. I’m ashamed to say I had a relapse today. I wanted Phoenix to take me in that shower, but his words crushed me. He was okay with just fucking me—just like he fucked her. That’s all I’ve come to mean to him. No matter how much I tell myself that I’m done with him and that I don’t care what he does, I know that I’m just lying to myself. He’s still passed out, but I’m content to lay here. I’m not ready for us to leave our bubble. He mumbled about this room being our bubble as he drifted off to sleep. If this is all I can have with him, maybe that is okay.
I feel myself dozing back off to sleep when there is a steady knock on the door.
“Why is this door locked?” I hear Asher ask from the other side. “Phoenix, open the door, man. Ivy’s here for you.” The bus must have stopped at some point during our nap. I cringe at the thought of her being here to see him. She’s bringing reality to our fucking door—literally! Phoenix sits up, startled by the intrusion.
“Ivy is out there for you,” I whisper. I’m afraid that any more words than that will get stuck in my throat. I attempt to get out of the way so that he can go to her, but he pulls me back down and kisses my forehead.
“Stay here,” he insists. I’m not going to hide in here if that’s what he’s thinking.
Before I can object, he puts a finger to my lips to shush me. “Please. Okay?”
He gets up and opens the door, and I can see Ivy and Asher standing on the other side. He walks out and closes the door behind him. I hadn’t agreed to stay put, but I decide not to move when I hear arguing coming from outside the door. Phoenix is arguing with Asher. “I’m not fucking her, man,” I hear Phoenix growl. He tells him that I’m not feeling well and that I already feel bad enough about last night, so there’s no need to keep chastising me like a child.
“Don’t get any ideas about my sister. Sorry, Ivy. But you fucked this girl last night, and then you’re locked in a room with my sister today?” Asher’s tone has come down an octave but is still stern. “Excuse me if I come off a bit protective, but wouldn’t you.”
“Look. I care about Harlow. She needs someone too. When shit went down last night, you were quick to grab Lily, but you left your sister hanging. I was the one there for her when she needed someone. And I’m the one here for her today when she needs a friend. I don’t see anyone else taking on that role at the moment. You?” There is complete fucking silence. I have no idea what’s happening now. “Okay. Then don’t give me any hypocritical bullshit. If there’s nothing else, I’m going back into the room. Ivy, we’ll talk later. Please, in the future, call first.” I can faintly make out Ivy responding, but I can’t make out what she’s saying.
Phoenix comes back into the room and locks the door.
“Everything okay?” I don’t want to come between him and my brother.
“It’ll be fine. Let’s see what we can find to watch on this damn TV,” he says, grabbing the remote. “I’ll cook us up something to eat in a little bit unless you’re hungry now. You didn’t eat your pancakes at the diner.”
“No. I’m good for now. I did eat the eggs and fruit before you came in. My stomach is still a little queasy from the alcohol, so I’m not ready for anything heavy,” I assure.
“Cool.” He flips through the channels until he finds my favorite show, Elementary. He then pulls me to him like before, only this time, we’re not going to sleep. We’re...cuddling. This is probably a terrible idea. As a matter of fact, I’m sure of it. For now, I’m going to enjoy it, though. He chose me over Ivy this time. He chose our bubble.
Chapter Eight
Phoenix
Harlow watches one of her favorite shows, Elementary. She was a little more than excited to see that it was airing the new season. I think my brother watches this too. I’ve seen it recorded on our DVR back at the lake house. She is asleep now, snuggled underneath me. I flip through the channels as I feel myself getting drowsy. I need to get up and cook something. I need to make her eat. To my surprise, the door swings open, and it catches me off guard. I thought I fucking locked that door. It’s Asher, but I don’t bother to move. The scene before him is what it is. He walks in and pauses when he sees his sister in my arms.
“You care about her, don’t you?” he starts.
“Of course I do, Asher.” He has no idea the extent of it.
“Look, I apologize for my earlier accusations. Truth is, I wasn’t there, and you were. I’m honestly just glad she had someone when she needed it the most,” Asher reassures me.
“Where’s Ivy?” I know the bus hasn’t stopped again since our last conversation.
“She’s watching Killian and Ren battle each other in dominos,” he informs me.
“Any other members from Wild Silence here?”
He shakes his head. “Just her.” I know I need to talk with Ivy. I’m not sure if there will be a round two. This is why I wanted to abandon the three -fuck rule on the road. I don’t want to give her false hope.
“I understand. If it were my sister, I would be just as protective.” I ease my arm out from under her and leave the room. As soon as I enter the living area, Ivy is on her feet.
“Finally,” she huffs. “What the hell?”
“Don’t,” I caution her. “Harlow is my friend. I’m not trying to be a douche, but why are you here?” I’m not going to curb my concern to appease her. Yeah, we fucked, but it was a mutual want. I’m not her boyfriend, and I don’t owe her any explanations.
“I wanted to see you. I don’t make it a habit of just fucking someone and then not speaking with him.” There is an uncomfortable pause in the room. The guys don’t know how to react.
“Just stop, Ivy.” I wanted her to come out and acknowledge that she wanted to see me, although it was uninvited, but she is making me regret giving a shit. On cue, the bedroom door creaks open. Harlow peeks out, so I go to her.
“What do you want to eat?” She needs to eat something. “We have tuna salad already made.” I don’t know what else is in there or what everybody else ate tonight, but I remember we have the tuna salad I made earlier.
“That sounds nice,” she says softly.
“Well, go find something else for us to watch, and I’ll bring some to you.” She nods and closes the door again.
“Fuck you, Phoenix. You fuck me, yet you pamper her. I’m getting off this fucking bus right now. Consider my legs officially closed to you.” She marches toward the front of the bus, I’m guessing to request that they let her off.
“Do you and Harlow have a thing, Phoenix?” Lily asks timidly. I know my actions toward Harlow are confusing. Hell, it doesn’t make sense to me either.
“I’m just being there for a friend, Lil,” I assure. “We’re just friends.”
“Okay,” she replies, sounding unconvinced. I make some toast, pour orange juice, and plate some tuna salad before bringing our spread to the room. Harlow has another episode of Elementary on pause.
“Is this show okay?”
“Yeah. We can watch anything you want.” I’m fucking up, and I know it. There is no doubt we both see this room as the place to indulge in what we’re feeli
ng. In this room, we don’t have to think about the reality of our actions. I set the tray down with the spread I created, and she smiles from ear to ear. I climb into bed and pull her between my legs.
“What are we doing, Phoenix?” she asks while putting the tray in her lap.
“Ignoring the world out there,” I say, pointing toward the door.
“I kind of like that idea,” she says, spreading the tuna on toast. She passes it to me. I take a bite, but I feed her the second bite. Yeah, were slipping further and further into dangerous territory. I repeat over and over to myself that I can’t give her all of me. On the other hand, if this is all we can have, I’ll gladly take it. We eat all the food I prepared and vegetate through at least three hour-long episodes of her show before she dozes off again. I power off the TV and snuggle in close until I fall asleep with her.
Tonight, we will perform our second show. I’m in the living area writing music. Harlow is in her bunk working on her account of our journey thus far. We both realized that we couldn’t hide in our bubble forever. We were beginning to cast suspicion on ourselves, not that I give a shit at all.
Ivy is giving me the cold shoulder, and I’m okay with that. I didn’t know how to proceed with that anyway. It just all seemed wrong after the fact. The lyrics flow seamlessly, and I can’t get them on paper faster enough. Shit that I’ve previously internalized comes full circle. I leave every last ounce of my troubling thoughts in the bars of the music. I’m in a zone when my phone goes off. I would ignore it, but it’s Issues’ “Blue Wall” playing. That’s Sevyn’s ringtone. Our relationship has been strained, for obvious reasons, so we haven’t spoken much since he told me our father was dying. Maybe that’s why he’s calling.
“Yeah,” I say when I answer.
“Hello, brother,” he says hesitantly. “Do you have a minute?”
“What’s up?” I just want him to get to the point. “Is our father dead or not?”
“Not yet. I’m calling because he is going away to London next week. He says it’s just for one last visit while his health will allow, but I’m not buying it. Morgan Investments is located there. I think he may be trying to partner with them before making the announcement about his health to the shareholders and board members in a couple of weeks.” That’s not good. If he brings someone else in, that can weaken Sevyn’s controlling votes. We need him to have the majority vote. Another member can side with the shareholders, giving them the overall majority. That would ruin everything.
“Shit. How do we block that?”
“I have an idea, but you may not like it. I need to see you.” I can hear the desperation in his voice. I need him to keep it together. We’ve worked too hard on this to let it fall apart now.
“Look. We’re on the way to Santa Clara. Can you get a flight and meet us there?” The guys know I have a twin now, so he can join us while we work through this mess. We need a solid plan. I’ll hear out his idea, but we need to be in agreement. This affects us both.
“I can do that. I can get a flight out this evening actually,” he agrees.
“Okay. We’re playing at Levi’s Stadium tonight, but I’ll give your info to our driver. It will either be Gus or Stewart. They can make sure you have a ride from the airport. Wish you could come see us perform.” We can’t afford for him to accidentally be seen at the concert. Not before we pull off our plan.
“Me too. Soon, brother.” I give him the info he needs before hanging up. I need to tell Harlow, so she isn’t blindsided for a second time. She is typing away on her Mac on her bunk when I find her.
“Hey,” she says, looking up at me. She gives me a little smile.
“Sevyn is coming here,” I rush out. I watch the smile disappear. We haven’t even discussed the reason he was at the lake house. We just kind of buried it, and now we’re reopening those wounds.
“Why?” she questions. “I mean, whatever. I don’t care.” She closes her computer and rummages frantically through the bag next to her. I reach over and still her trembling hands.
“Harlow, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you about my brother, but I will. I never wanted to hurt you. When Sevyn gets here, we’ll sit down and discuss the reason we’re carbon copies of one another. The reason he can’t be seen with me. I didn’t want you to be blindsided again, so I wanted to be the first to tell you he’s coming here.”
“Okay.” I let her hands go, and she pulls earphones out of her bag. I need to give her some space. She won’t even look at me now. She connects the earphones to her phone and cranks up the volume. I can hear Mochica’s “Scared” coming from the tiny speakers. She turns to lie on her back and closes her eyes. I guess that’s my indication that this conversation is over. Sevyn and I haven’t shared our full story with anyone, not even my guys. Tonight, I will tell Harlow. She deserves that much. It’s the most sincere apology that I can give. My redemption.
Harlow
Phoenix Rising gave another fucking epic performance tonight. I’m so proud of them and so excited that I get to witness their journey firsthand. We’re heading back to the bus now, and I’m nervous because I know Sevyn should be there by now. I bonded with him, too, before I knew who he was. I know of one day that it was him and not Phoenix, and that’s the day before the big blow up. I do appreciate Phoenix’s effort to make this right. I just don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to feel.
The guys enter the bus first, and I immediately hear the boisterous greetings between them. Lily and I are close on their heels. She does a double take when she sees the two brothers side by side. Asher filled her in that Phoenix had a twin who was joining us on the bus for a few days, but that is all most of them know.
My heart drops at the sight of them. The flashback of the last time I saw them together is too real. I can tell which is Phoenix because he’s wearing his Phoenix Rising rock tee. Other than that, it’s fucking crazy how identical they are. Same haircut. Same tattoos. Same hot-as-fuck body. Same everything.
“Okay. This is a little cray,” Lily says, interrupting their hoorah.
“Phoenix, I’ve never seen twins this identical. I only know who is who from your clothes. That is so damn freaky.” The uneasiness between the two brothers is palpable. The question is why?
“Yet we couldn’t be more different,” Sevyn promises with a half-smile.
“Yeah. He’s the sensitive one,” Phoenix agrees.
“And he got all the jackass genes,” Sevyn retorts.
“Hey, don’t be mad because I’m hotter.” Phoenix gives him shit, but the banter between the two is harmless.
“Keep telling yourself that, bro,” Sevyn says, lightly shoving his brother. “Anyway, I hope you all are hungry. I killed time by cooking a little something.” It was then I smelled something heavenly. How in the hell did I miss the mouthwatering aroma coming from the kitchen?
“Something does smell pretty fucking amazing. What is it?” Killian asks already on the way to the kitchen to investigate.
“I made my famous bistro burgers.” Sevyn beams, and Phoenix groans.
“What’s that?” Lily asks with widened eyes.
“The devil,” Phoenix answers for him. “He knows that fucking burger is my weakness. It’s my goddamn favorite.”
“Miss you too, brother,” Sevyn says, blowing him a kiss. The similarity of their voices is weird, but I can note subtle differences now that I had a chance to hear more than just a few words from him. We’re all in the kitchen now, and I can see what Phoenix is talking about. These burgers look absolutely sinful.
“What’s in them?” Ren asks, grabbing one to put on a plate.
“It’s a bison beer burger with a fried egg, bacon, and avocado on a poppy seed bun,” Sevyn shares.
“Crack,” Phoenix says around a mouth full of burger.
“I thought it was the devil,” Asher says, grabbing a burger for him and Lily.
“Okay. Devil crack,” Phoenix corrects while taking another big ass bite. They al
l laugh at him.
“This is so good, man. You’re our guest, and you’re cooking? Can’t say I’m sorry, though. Where did you get the ingredients to make this? We didn’t have this stuff here,” Asher quips.
“Hell no. That’s because Phoenix tries to make us eat that healthy shit he eats,” Killian swears. Phoenix just nods and continues to demolish his burger. I hurry and grab one after I see some of the guys are already going back for seconds.
“Yup. That’s my brother. He’s always been that way too. He can’t resist my burgers though, as you can see,” Sevyn admits. Phoenix flips him off and goes in for another burger. “No. Your driver, Gus, was happy to stop by the store after picking me up from the airport. I knew these were Phoenix’s favorites, and I wanted to surprise him. I also knew he would be cursing me for sabotaging the diet he’s always on.”
“You two do have the same level of fitness, though,” Lily points out. She’s being politically correct for Asher’s sake. Fuck a level of fitness. They’re both ripped and sexy as hell. Not too big and definitely not small. They have the right amount of mass and thickness. I always said I would have never pictured Phoenix as a rock star. He looks more like a model. I have to look away before I’m caught drooling.
“Don’t let him fool you,” Phoenix speaks up. “Staying in shape comes more naturally to him. He eats healthy too, but his body is more forgiving when he doesn’t. I have to be more careful since I can’t get to a gym regularly on this tour. I have to settle for the weights I have in the bedroom.” They start to talk about workout regimens, and I take my burger to the living area. To my surprise, Lily follows me.
