Letters of Love (Lessons in Love)

by Clarissa Carlyle

  Alex just shook her head, her own eyes cast downward.

  “Maybe tell him that you like him; see how he feels.”

  “Yeah.” Alex didn’t sound thrilled by the suggestion.

  “Are you worried about the guy back home? Is that why you’re down?”

  Alex looked up, surprised and impressed by Ashley’s intuition. It never failed to baffle Alex just how well her friend could read her. It was comforting to know that Ashley would always be able to see through whatever veil she was shrouding herself with.

  “Mark? I, I don’t know. Maybe…I guess.”

  “You want my opinion?”

  “Always.” Alex smiled, knowing full well that Ashley would share her view whether or not it was sought after.

  “You haven’t seen the guy from home for, like, over a year. And you see Oliver almost every day, which means that you two have a connection. He’s here, and this is now, and you only live once. Worry about the guy back home when you are actually back home.”

  “Oscar.”

  “Huh?”

  “His name is Oscar, not Oliver.”

  “Sorry, I’m so bad with names lately,” Ashley apologized. It didn’t surprise Alex that she was struggling with names since she was currently dating about five different guys. Alex had lost track of who Ashley was seeing, each night a different guy would wait politely downstairs to take her to dinner or to a movie.

  “It’s like shoe shopping,” Ashley would explain to her bemused sorority sisters. “I like to try on lots of pairs so that I can pick the one that fits me best.”

  “I guess you’re right,” Alex agreed as she finally gave up on her hair, unable to style it how she wanted.

  “What’s the deal with Oscar, anyway?” Ashley paused on the name, careful to get it right.

  “He’s an English major and super talented,” Alex declared proudly. “He writes his own poetry.”

  “Has he written you a poem?” Ashley asked eagerly.

  “No, not yet,” Alex admitted disappointedly.

  “I’m sure he will.” Ashley leant forward and gave her friend’s hand a reassuring squeeze before getting up to stand behind her.

  “Before we part ways for yet another evening, you’ve got to let me fix your hair for you,” Ashley declared, already taking out the bun Alex had struggled to put up.

  “Thanks, Ash.”

  “But my beauty assistance comes at a price.”

  “It does?”

  “You owe me a girls’ night, this week!”

  “Deal!”

  “Now let’s fix this hair of yours!”

  ****

  Alex was waiting for Oscar to text to say he was outside waiting for her. He was always late, and he refused to enter the sorority house, preferring to avoid all associations with the Greek system. He’d lurk on the street outside and text Alex to say he was there. Most people would find his behavior strange, but Alex found it endearing. He was different, and she liked that.

  But as she sat there waiting, her mind thought of Mark, the man she’d fallen for back in Woodsdale who now felt like a distant memory to her. She hadn’t seen him in so long. A part of her knew she’d been avoiding him, but not just him, her entire past. She wanted to move forward, and she felt like she couldn’t do that if she continued to cling to her old life. With Oscar running predictably late and feeling consumed with guilt, Alex wrote a letter to Mark.

  Mark,

  You’re probably wondering why you haven’t heard from me in so long, and I’m sorry for that. Things here at college have just gotten so crazy lately. Between my studies and my sorority commitments, I barely get any time to myself these days.

  By now you know that I didn’t come home for the summer. Instead I stayed with my friend Ashley in Los Angeles, and it was amazing. I know I should come home more, but I want to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way, carpe diem and all that.

  And no, I haven’t gotten a tattoo yet. Did you think I’d forget your permanent college reminder of that exact Latin phrase?

  I’m just being young and reckless and allowing myself to be those things without feeling bad about it. For too long I let the shadow of my father’s death darken me, and now I’m just enjoying life.

  Please understand that I’m not avoiding you, nor have I forgotten about us. I still think about you. I just don’t want to be accountable to anyone, not right now. I hope that makes sense.

  How is Woodsdale? As tragically lame as ever, I imagine.

  Please write back so that I know you are okay.

  Alex,

  xoxo

  Just as Alex signed off the letter, her phone buzzed to reveal a text from Oscar. He was outside waiting.

  ****

  “Evening,” he greeted Alex as she approached him. He stood opposite the Kappa Pi house, wearing skater-boy jeans and a dark hooded top, which was up to conceal his face and the cigarette he was currently smoking.

  “Those things kill, you know,” Alex said sternly as she approached him.

  “So does drinking, driving and global warming,” Oscar quickly quipped in response.

  “You’re difficult, you know that?” Alex smiled fondly.

  “I prefer to think of myself as a challenge.”

  “You’re definitely that.”

  “So, plans for tonight: I was thinking we could walk to that old movie theater in town. They’re showing a revival of the original Star Wars trilogy. Tonight is Empire Strikes Back, which, in my opinion, is the only one worth seeing anyway.”

  “Sounds good.” Alex nodded in agreement, and they began to walk side by side out of the campus and towards the nearby town, which was about a half-hour walk away.

  Alex couldn’t stop thinking about what Ashley had said to her about telling Oscar how she felt about him. As they walked, she could smell the slight musk of cologne clinging to his clothes, overpowered by the cigarette he’d been smoking. If he wore cologne, he must be trying to impress her, right? Which would mean he liked her.

  He’d also started to shave more regularly since Alex had teased him for having facial pubes. She liked to think that these were signs that he liked her, and they certainly hung out a lot. But what if he saw her as only a friend, nothing more?

  “You’re unusually quiet tonight,” Oscar noticed as they wandered beyond the campus border and onto a quiet highway that led to town.

  “Just thinking.”

  “Oh yeah, what about?”

  “About how I disagree that the Empire Strikes Back is the strongest Star Wars movie. For me, it will always be about Return of the Jedi. It had so many iconic characters like Jabba and Boba Fett, not to mention the resolution of the stories and the spiritual reuniting of Yoda and Obi-Wan.”

  “Those are all valid points.” Oscar ceased walking and turned to face her. It was dark on the road with only the moonlight to light their faces. He pulled his hood down and ran a hand through his tangle of black curls.

  “But you don’t agree?” Alex queried.

  “No, I don’t.” Oscar shook his head. “I like the second film because it’s the darkest. Luke is forced to confront the truth about his past, and thus he becomes a man. In losing his innocence, he becomes even stronger.”

  “True.”

  “I don’t suppose the sorority girls sit around discussing the finer points of the Force and a galaxy far, far away.” Oscar laughed.

  “It’s more about the importance of hair curlers and intense debates over which is better, lipstick or lip gloss,” Alex joked.

  “Have any of them even seen Star Wars?”

  “I doubt it.” Alex couldn’t help noticing that they’d stopped walking, and she wasn’t sure why.

  “I just don’t see how you fit in with that world,” Oscar said, taking one hand and lightly stroking Alex’s cheek. The gesture felt both intimate and erotic and sent a shiver down her spine.

  “There are many sides to me,” Alex admitted.

  “I’m beginning
to see that.”

  “And you’re no open book yourself.” Alex glanced up at Oscar. There was so much she didn’t know about him. He didn’t talk about his home or where he was from. She knew the subject he majored in, the films he liked and his favorite band but nothing about who he really was beneath the façade of the angry outcast student.

  “You’re different, Alexandra Heron,” Oscar stated. It was the first time he’d ever used her full name. “And I like that about you.”

  “So you like me?” Alex forced herself to be brave, to seek an answer to the question that had been plaguing her since they’d first shared a coffee together in the student café. She thought how proud Ashley would be of her pushing herself to find out his feelings. The conversation back at the sorority house had emboldened her.

  “We hang out all the time,” Oscar answered.

  “So?”

  “So blatantly I like you,” Oscar replied, and for the first time she saw his bad-boy demeanor fall away. He suddenly seemed nervous and uneasy, exactly how she was feeling.

  “Do I need to make it clearer?” Oscar asked, but he didn’t wait for Alex to respond. Instead, he grabbed Alex’s head in his hands and pulled her towards him. The moment their lips touched, it felt electric, and soon he was using his tongue to explore her mouth. He tasted of tobacco and mint, which was an alluring combination. Alex lost herself to the kiss, letting her arms fall down his back and rest around his waist before rising up again to pull at his hair, the hair she had been desperate to run her hands through for weeks.

  Alex didn’t want the kiss to end. She wanted to remain there locked in their embrace until time ceased to exist, until the world as they knew it fell away completely. But finally, they parted, both breathless and exhilarated.

  She waited for Oscar to say something poignant, something meaningful, but instead he glanced up the road and declared, “We’d best hurry up, or we’ll miss the movie.”

  Alex would have been angry, but he then reached out for her hand and held it for the remainder of their walk.

  ****

  “Where exactly are we going?” Alex asked dubiously as Oscar led her up the stairwell of his dorm building.

  “You’ll see,” he replied mysteriously.

  “I’m missing the Kappa Primadonna party for this, so whatever you want to show me had better be good!” Alex teasingly threatened him.

  “I’m sorry to have pulled you away from all the feather boas and fakery, but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what I’m going to show you.”

  “I better be.”

  Alex continued to follow Oscar up the stairs, internally bursting with excitement to see the previously mentioned surprise.

  Oscar Deloitte was many things, but he was not in the least bit romantic, or so Alex believed. During their brief courtship of three weeks, which had included several cinema dates, they’d made out and held hands but nothing more to suggest that they were getting serious. Oscar just didn’t seem like a romantic sort of guy. He resented chick flicks and their apparent perpetuation of an unobtainable fairy-tale myth.

  Alex liked his honest opinions, but she was embarrassed to tell him that, like all girls, deep down she yearned to be a princess, if only for a moment, but she feared that if he knew that, he’d think her weak and ordinary.

  “We’re almost there.” Oscar reached the top of the stairwell and paused.

  “You’ve taken me to the roof of your dorm building?” Alex noted flatly.

  “Oh ye of little faith,” Oscar scoffed before pushing against the door, which reluctantly opened, letting in some of the refreshing coolness of the evening air.

  Oscar stepped out purposefully on to the open rooftop with Alex gingerly following behind. She glanced around, wondering why he’d brought her to the roof. There was nothing but tarmac and darkness, but then her heart froze in her chest in elated glee.

  In the center of the roof a blanket had carefully been placed out, surrounded by candles, which flickered in the faint breeze. On the blanket were two pillows, upon which lay a solitary rose.

  “Oh, Oscar,” Alex gasped, barely able to speak.

  “Don’t get all girly on me,” Oscar warned, unable to completely drop his tough exterior. He took Alex by the hand and led her over to the blanket, instructing her to lie down next to him, both their heads resting upon a pillow. She instinctively nuzzled in close to him, and Oscar planted a soft kiss upon her forehead.

  “I brought you here because I want you to look up,” he whispered.

  Immediately Alex cast her eyes towards the heavens and let out a soft breath in awe.

  “It’s beautiful.”

  It was a clear night, and above them there was nothing but stars. It was like a magical tapestry hanging above their makeshift bed.

  “I come up here sometimes to think,” Oscar explained in a rare revealing moment. “Looking up at the stars helps me focus, helps me understand things.”

  “They seem so close,” Alex uttered, bewitched by their beauty.

  “They seem even closer from the roof of a twenty-seven-story high-rise,” Oscar mused.

  “Is that where you live at home, in a high-rise?” Alex turned briefly to look at Oscar, who was still gazing upward. His mouth tightened when he heard her question. He was always cagey whenever she asked him about home. It was clearly a topic he didn’t enjoy discussing.

  “I thought you’d enjoy seeing them,” he said after a long pause, ignoring her question. “I wanted to share this spot with you because it reminds me that there is beauty and good in the world. That’s how I feel about you.”

  Oscar turned to look at Alex, his gaze intense.

  “Am I going to sound like a complete tool if I say that I’m falling for you?” Oscar asked, his openness making him seem irresistible to Alex. The starlight shone down favorably on his features, making his eyes seem dark and intense and his cheeks chiseled to perfection. Reaching up, Alex ran her hand through his dark curls.

  “You don’t sound like a tool.” She smiled seductively at him. “Besides, I’ve already fallen for you.”

  Oscar broke the distance between them in a heartbeat, and they began kissing passionately. Alex, beneath him on the blanket, murmured in pleasure as their tongues danced together in their mouths.

  Alex felt her heart compelling her to take things further, unable to restrain her desire for Oscar. She reached up and navigated her way to the zipper of his jeans and then gently, carefully began to undo them.

  Understanding the gesture, Oscar kissed her even more passionately, leaning back briefly to take off his T-shirt. Alex followed suit and hurriedly cast aside her own T-shirt as Oscar skillfully undid her bra and threw it aside. His warm hands cupped her breasts, and he groaned in delight.

  Within a few more moments they were completely naked together, though Oscar wrapped the blanket around them, cocooning them together in their own nest. At the point of no return, Oscar paused, looking deep into Alex’s eyes.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he told her sincerely.

  “I love you,” she admitted simply, certain of the feelings she felt for him, the feelings they were now expressing physically.

  And there, beneath the stars, they made love for the first time, and it was the most erotic moment of both of their lives.

  ****

  “So how are things with lover boy?” Ashley asked teasingly as Alex entered their bedroom, freshly showered with her hair bunched up in a towel.

  “Good,” Alex answered but couldn’t stop herself from blushing.

  “Oh my God, you guys totally did it last night!” Ashley declared, grinning widely. “I guess I can therefore forgive you for missing the Primadonna party.”

  “How was the party?”

  “Don’t you dare change the subject!” Ashley warned. “I want details!”

  “There are no details.” Alex shook her hair loose and began rummaging for her hair dryer.

  “Don’t hold out on me,” Ashley w
hined. “I live for this stuff.” Sitting cross-legged on her own bed, Ashley gave her best friend puppy-dog eyes.

  “There’s not much to tell. But, Ash, I have fallen in love with him.”

  “Oh my God, oh my god, oh my god!” Ashley bounded over and embraced her friend, squealing with excitement as she did so.

  “My little Alex is all grown up and in lurve!” she joked. “Seriously, though, I can now forgive you blowing me off all the time since this thing with Oscar is the real deal.”

  “You got his name right!”

  “Well, now you love him, I’ve got to take him seriously.” Ashley smiled fondly.

  “Have I really been overly MIA?” Alex asked, looking sadly at the carpeted floor.

  “It happens to us all when we meet a guy who stops us being able to see straight,” Ashley said understandingly.

  “But you’re my best friend. I don’t want to stop spending as much time together because I’ve met someone.”

  “Well, you’ve already overcome the initial hurdle: acceptance. You’re aware you have a friend-neglect problem, which means I don’t have to arrange an intervention.” Ashley laughed.

  “Seriously, Ash, how do I make up for being a lousy friend?”

  “You could start by coming to the party over at Delta Sig with me tonight,” Ashley suggested.

  “Delta Sig.” Alex frowned, trying to recall if she’d been to that particular fraternity house before.

  “Isn’t that over on the other side of campus?” Alex queried.

  “Yup.”

  “The house where all the brothers are on academic probation?”

  “Not all the brothers.”

  “Ash, who is he?”

  “His name is Tad, and he drives a motorcycle!” Ashley explained excitedly.

  “He sounds like trouble.”

  “Well, we’ve all got to get ourselves into some trouble sometime.” Ashley raised her eyebrows suggestively.

  “Behave!” Alex smiled.

  “You can’t be the only one getting in trouble around here.” Ashley laughed.