Forever and For Always

by Sophie Love

  “Where are you now?” Emily asked. She hoped they hadn’t traveled too far, that she could convince them that tonight just wasn’t a good idea.

  “We’re on the coast,” Jayne said. “Ames, where are we?”

  “Portland,” she heard Amy call.

  Emily sighed loudly. They were almost there.

  “Well, I don’t have much choice in the matter now really, do I?” Emily said. “You’ll just have to accept that I’m going to be busy. How long are you staying?”

  “Just overnight,” Jayne said. “Jeez, could you sound any less pleased about this?”

  Emily’s patience was waning. She wanted to snap at Jayne, to offload all the worries and concerns that were swimming in her mind, but she knew it wasn’t her friend’s fault. If anything, having Amy and Jayne here could make things a little easier. It would be good for her to be distracted at this time.

  “I’m sorry,” she said eventually. “I’m just in a bit of a weird place at the moment. I’ll tell you all about it when you get here.”

  “Great,” Jayne said. “We won’t be long. I think it’s an hour or so. Ames is nodding her head. So an hour. See you then.”

  She hung up before Emily had a chance to say more.

  *

  As the hour wore on, Emily felt better and better about seeing Amy and Jayne. She recognized the sensation inside of her and realized she was feeling excitement for the first time in a long time. As reluctant as she was about how busy she was going to be, she realized that she needed their company more now than anyone else’s. She loved her Sunset Harbor friends but they were far too close to the situation. Her New York friends were removed enough for it not to overshadow everything. Emily was getting sick of all the sympathetic and forlorn faces everyone kept giving her, like she was a wounded animal or something.

  At midday, Emily heard the sound of a car being noisily driven up the gravel path. She rushed to the door and saw her two friends leaping out of their car in high spirits. Jayne was dressed to the nines, her black hair glossy, her fingernails painted crimson. As Emily trotted down the porch steps to greet them she noticed the curtains flicker in Trevor Mann’s top room, the one she presumed he used to secretly spy on her every time she made too much noise for his liking. He was probably up there writing his arguments for their meeting tomorrow.

  “Em!” Jayne cried, practically throwing herself at Emily. The smell of her perfume hit Emily like a wave.

  Emily accepted her hug greedily. It had been too long since she’d been embraced. She felt herself well up at that thought.

  Jayne let go and then Amy approached. They hadn’t seen each other since the last town meeting when Mayor Hansen had granted Emily the permit to run the B&B. Though they’d spoken a little bit since, Emily wasn’t entirely sure where they stood at the moment.

  “You cut your hair,” Emily said as a way of breaking the ice.

  Amy nodded, her new chin-length bob swaying as she did. Then she burst into a smile and pulled her old friend into a bear hug. “I’ve missed you, Emily.”

  “I’ve missed you too,” Emily replied, breathing a sigh of relief.

  “Now,” Jayne said, addressing Amy, “there’s nothing to do here so we just sit on the porch and get drunk. Isn’t that right, Em?”

  Emily shrugged. “Pretty much. But you have to be careful. There’s a wedding party here tomorrow evening. Don’t snoop. Or break anything.”

  Jayne gave her a look. “What makes you think we’ll break anything?”

  Amy was more diplomatic. “We’re just here for one girly night in with our best friend in her ridiculously gorgeous house.”

  Emily smiled at that. “I supposed I’d better make a pitcher of mojitos then.”

  Her two friends followed her into the kitchen, where Rain and Mogsy began yapping and running about excitedly. Jayne and Amy were thrilled to meet them and bestowed hugs and kisses on them.

  “Oh my God,” Jayne squealed. “I wish I had an apartment big enough for a puppy.”

  “You’d never be able to have one,” Amy contested. “You work too much. Not that you don’t work, Emily,” she added hurriedly, “I just mean you have to be home all the time if you want pet dogs.”

  Emily nodded. “I definitely didn’t plan on it,” she said, “but it’s pretty neat having them around. They stop me getting lonely.” She paused as soon as she’d said the words and swallowed. She hadn’t been planning on diving straight into the Daniel-abandoning-her situation—that was a two-glasses-of-mojitos-later kind of topic.

  Luckily, neither of her friends seemed to notice the slip-up.

  “Ames, why don’t you tell Emily all about your new boyfriend?” Jayne said, her eyes sparkling mischievously.

  “Boyfriend?” Emily asked, her eyes widening with astonishment. Amy was far too sensible for boyfriends. She only ever dated and none of her relationships ever lasted particularly long. For it to have gotten to boyfriend status meant it was pretty serious.

  Amy shifted uncomfortably. Then she brought her wallet out of her purse and handed Emily a picture. It was of her and an impossibly handsome man arm in arm on a sunny beach.

  “Where is this?” Emily exclaimed.

  “Hawaii,” Amy replied, blushing. “He took us for our three-month anniversary.”

  Emily couldn’t believe it. She kept staring at the photo, at Amy’s face in it. Her friend looked happier than she’d ever seen her.

  “What’s his name?” she stammered.

  “Frasier,” Amy said. “He’s thirty-eight.”

  “And totally loaded!” Jayne interjected. “He works in investment banking but it’s also in the family, you know?”

  Emily looked back down at the happy, healthy Frasier, with his perfectly straight white teeth and shiny hair. He and Amy looked like Mr. and Mrs. Perfect. Emily couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Had she made a huge mistake getting so wrapped up in Daniel? They both had such flawed histories and their relationship had already been through so many rocky patches. Maybe she was being stupid for wanting to settle with him, for waiting for him. What if there was a Mr. Perfect waiting to whisk her off to Hawaii?

  “Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?” Emily asked.

  Amy shrugged. “I guess I got a bit wrapped up in it all. I mean you of all people know what it’s like when you get into a great relationship!”

  Emily felt her emotions hit her like a wave of grief. Before she could even stop herself, she began to cry.

  Amy and Jayne exchanged a worried glance.

  “What’s wrong?” Amy asked gently. “Has something happened with Daniel?”

  “He’s gone,” Emily managed to squeeze out between her sobs.

  “Gone?” Amy repeated, handing Emily a tissue. “Where?”

  Emily dabbed at her tears. “He’s gone to Tennessee to be with his daughter.”

  “He has a daughter?” Jayne spat, her mouth wide open with astonishment. “And let me guess, he didn’t have the good grace to tell you about her?”

  Emily shook her head. “He didn’t know she existed,” she mumbled, not quite able to meet her friends’ eyes. She shouldn’t be making excuses for him.

  “Oh, babe,” Amy said. “When did all this happen?”

  “Six weeks ago,” Emily admitted. “I was too embarrassed to tell you.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Jayne replied. “I mean I’d be mortified if that happened to me. Like, beyond embarrassed.”

  Amy glared at her.

  “But that’s just me,” Jayne said, floundering, “You have no reason to be embarrassed. It’s Daniel who’s been a huge jerk. What kind of idiot gets his girlfriend pregnant then doesn’t even stick around to meet the kid?”

  “Has he been in contact?” Amy asked.

  Emily could feel the blush of shame rising in her cheeks. She busied herself crushing ice. “No. He doesn’t have a cell phone, though, so I wasn’t expecting him to.” She knew it sounded like a lame excuse, but it
was Daniel’s way, and something she’d accepted about him. “But he promised me he’d be back before the end of summer.”

  “He’s cutting it a bit fine, don’t you think?” Jayne said.

  Emily nodded, her gaze still averted.

  “You don’t think he will?” Amy asked gently.

  Emily shrugged. “I don’t know. Even if he does come back, nothing can be the same again, can it? He’s a father now. That changes everything. If he comes back to me that means he chose me over his daughter and that makes him the kind of man I don’t want to be with. Either way I lose.”

  Amy rubbed her arm kindly.

  Jayne was a little more blunt than Amy about the whole thing. “Well, he was just your Ben rebound, wasn’t he? I mean he was a lumberjack. You can’t have had that much to talk about.”

  “We had plenty to talk about,” Emily rebuked her.

  “It’s okay, Em,” Jayne added. “Just being with a guy because he’s good between the sheets is fine. We’ve all done it.”

  “I loved him,” Emily protested.

  “Loved?” Amy said, interjecting. “As in past tense? As in not anymore?”

  “As in, I don’t know,” Emily said with a heavy sigh. “It’s all too confusing. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.”

  Emily tried to ignore the doubtful look her friends shared.

  “So, how many people are coming to the wedding party tomorrow?” Amy asked in what Emily recognized as an attempt to steer the conversation away from the painful topic.

  “Thirty,” Emily said. “The whole B&B is booked up.”

  “That’s pretty neat,” Amy replied. “You’ve been getting lots of bookings then?”

  Emily finished making the mojitos and they went out to drink them on the porch. “Actually, not a huge amount. I had a fiftieth high school reunion party over the long Fourth of July weekend. There were twenty of those guys. Surprisingly rowdy for seventy-year-olds. Then I’ve had a few guests here and there but nothing much until this.”

  “Enough to make ends meet?” Jayne asked.

  Emily chewed her lip. “Not really. I mean there’s so much to spend in the first place. Just getting the house to a livable standard has been expensive enough, not to mention the roof leaking and ruining a ton of antiques. Then there’s staff costs and, well, anyway, you get the picture.”

  Amy and Jayne exchanged a glance then. Emily could tell there was something they were holding back.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  It was Amy who spoke. “It’s my candle company,” she said. “It’s going really well at the moment. I’m expanding. I have an office in an actual building rather than just my apartment.” She smiled shyly.

  Emily wasn’t sure why Amy had been so reticent to mention her success. Maybe she was worried that it was insensitive territory to tread considering that Emily’s own business was always teetering on the brink of ruin.

  “That’s great,” Emily said. “I’m really happy for you.”

  “Well,” Amy continued, and Emily realized she wasn’t done yet. There was more to come. “I was really hoping you’d be interested in coming home to be the marketing manager. Jayne’s agreed to head the sales team. I don’t know if there’s anyone else I trust more in the world to be part of the senior management team than you two.”

  Emily was shocked. She’d worked in marketing for years when she was in New York but had never quite reached the place in her career she’d wanted to. She’d always dreamed of climbing up the ranks but it had never really happened that way. She’d always blamed herself, though after moving to Sunset Harbor she’d wondered whether it was actually Ben holding her back more than just a general lack of confidence in herself.

  But now everything was different. She was different. The thought of working in New York again filled her with dread. Just the commute was enough to put her off.

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I have this place to think of.”

  “You mean you have Daniel to think of?” Jayne said, raising an eyebrow.

  “I can’t just up and walk away,” Emily protested.

  “Why not?” Jayne challenged her. “He did.”

  “This isn’t about Daniel,” Emily said, her tone becoming sharper. “This is about my life. My business. About who I’m becoming, or at least who I want to become.”

  Jayne shook her head. It was starting to get a little bit heated. “You want to host old folks’ parties at a failing B&B in a quiet, boring town? Really? That’s what you want?”

  Emily’s jaw slackened. She couldn’t believe how cutting Jayne was being. Amy, ever the peacemaker, stepped in.

  “You don’t need to make a decision anytime soon,” she said, gently. “I think what Jayne is trying to express is that we miss you and want you home.”

  Emily huffed. “She has a funny way of saying it,” she mumbled.

  But she knew Amy was right. Jayne just wanted her back in New York, back where they believed she belonged. She wondered if she did still belong there after all. If maybe life would be easier if she just packed this all in and went back with them. She could go on Sunday as soon as the wedding party guests had checked out, just up and leave without telling anyone, without giving a forwarding address. If she left her cell phone, no one would even be able to contact her or track her down. But if she did, she’d always be left wondering whether Daniel came back to her or not, whether there was any chance of a future for them.

  “You’ve had a great few months here,” Amy said. “But the summer’s almost over. You should come back.”

  Emily couldn’t meet either of their eyes. “I’ll think about it,” she said.

  And to her surprise, she realized that she meant it. She really was considering returning to New York. As much as she didn’t want it to be about Daniel, she knew that it was. It was the last weekend of August. If Daniel didn’t show up by the end of Sunday, then she’d know once and for all that it was over between them, that he’d chosen the happy family life in Tennessee just like she feared he would. And if there was no Daniel in Sunset Harbor anymore, maybe there’d be no reason for Emily herself to remain here either.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

  Up in her room, Emily pulled her suitcase out of the back of the cupboard. Most of her personal possessions were now packed away, just in case she needed to make a quick exit.

  Her room was a mess at the moment. After the last few rooms on the third floor had been renovated, she’d had nowhere to store her dad’s boxes so she’d temporarily dumped them in here; it wasn’t like she had to keep her room tidy for anyone anymore. The boxes had originally been in the throw-out category, but after all the talk of Barcelona she wondered whether there’d been any evidence that she’d overlooked at first.

  She sat down now and began to rummage through one of the boxes. There was nothing of interest in it, though she did find another sketch of the lighthouse her father had been so obsessed with. This one had been done in oil. She’d found so many now that she’d begun to wonder if the artist was in fact her father. Of course, she’d never seen him show any interest in making art, but then she’d also never heard him speak about Barcelona, so why not? Her mind came up with all kinds of ludicrous ideas. Like maybe he had a secret double life as a creative, frequenting art galleries by night while smoking cigars and wearing a black beret. Or maybe the artist was his secret child—if Daniel could have one, why not her dad? Or maybe he had a lover. Anne Maroney had said the diamond certificate was for a wedding ring, after all, so maybe her father had committed bigamy with the artist. They were crazy, paranoid thoughts, but she was beginning to suspect anything, beginning to wonder if she even knew her dad at all.

  As she sifted through the box of papers, Emily felt increasingly sad and confused. But there was also a sense of nostalgia that came to her too, nostalgia for the man she remembered her father to be.

  Just then the bell rang. Emily’s heart leaped into her throat. Could it be Daniel?
>
  She ran over to the window, peering out through the net curtains to see if there were lights on in the carriage house or any sign of his truck in the driveway. Everything was in darkness. But she could make out the silhouette of a car parked up in the driveway. It was sleek and expensive looking, certainly not the sort of car Daniel would usually drive, but stranger things had happened.

  As quietly as she could, Emily rushed downstairs, making sure not to wake her two friends who were each sleeping in the grandest rooms on the second floor. Her heart was racing when she got to the door and flung it open.

  When she saw who was standing there, her heart seemed to stop beating entirely. He was more handsome than she remembered, his dark hair styled neatly, his smile sparkling.

  Standing on her doorstep was Ben.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

  “Oh my God,” Emily managed to say.

  It had been almost a year since she’d walked out on him. It looked so wrong seeing him on her porch, like he just didn’t belong there.

  “Hello, Emily,” Ben said. “Can I come in?”

  Emily’s mind was swirling with thoughts. Just a moment ago she’d thought Daniel had returned to her but now she was face to face with Ben, of all people. She didn’t know what to think or say or do.

  “How did you find me?” she stammered. “How did you know I was here?”

  Ben gave an apologetic shrug. “From Jayne. But don’t kill her,” he added. “I knew she was coming to see you today and I made her tell me where you were staying.”

  Emily exhaled with frustration. Typical of Jayne to poke her nose into her business. She must have messaged Ben the address the second she’d found out that Daniel was gone! It was an eight-hour drive to Sunset Harbor from New York so the time would only make sense if she had. Emily could feel herself growing more and more angry. Thanks to Jayne, Daniel’s absence stung even more keenly. She’d been hoping so much that it would be him on her doorstep that to be confronted with the ghost of her past instead was a double blow.