by Umm Zakiyyah
“I don’t see the point,” Aliyah had told Deanna when she’d first mentioned it. “I’m divorced.”
“That’s all the more reason you should come,” Deanna had said. “It can help you understand your mistakes better.”
You mean you can help me understand my mistakes better, Aliyah had wanted to say. But she’d held her tongue. There was no use arguing with Deanna. It never ended well, at least not when Aliyah appeared to have a mind of her own.
“There you are!”
Aliyah’s shoulders jerked in surprise as Deanna’s smiling face appeared in front of her. Aliyah had no idea how Deanna was able to single her out in such a large crowd.
“Let’s go get something to eat,” Deanna said, tugging on Aliyah’s hand. “I’m famished.”
“I’m kind of tired actually,” Aliyah said as she stood, Deanna still tugging on her hand. “I wanted to go home and get some work d—”
“Oh, girl please,” Deanna said, cutting Aliyah off mid-sentence. “You promised me that we’d spend this whole weekend together.”
Aliyah furrowed her brows. On the stage, the moderator was announcing the next speaker. “I said I’d try to come to some of your sessions if I wasn’t busy,” Aliyah said in a hushed tone, leaning into Deanna.
“I have one more session tonight,” Deanna said as she looped her arm through Aliyah’s and started walking toward the auditorium exit.
Aliyah felt a bout of anxiety overcome her. “What time?”
“Nine o’clock,” Deanna said. “But don’t worry, I’m free until then.”
Aliyah’s eyes widened. “That’s in two and half hours, Deeja. I can’t—”
“Thank you so much for that,” an older woman said, leaning into the aisle as Deanna and Aliyah passed. “It was really eye-opening.”
“Thank you,” Deanna said, halting her steps and turning to face the woman, a broad smile on her face. “People like you are the reason I work so hard.”
“Well, it’s much appreciated,” the woman said. “Truly. It’s so inspirational to see young people taking marriage seriously. Sessions like these should be mandatory for young couples. They take marriage so lightly these days.”
“I know. Don’t they?” Deanna side-eyed Aliyah.
“You all have a good evening,” the woman said as the next speaker took the podium.
“You too,” Deanna replied, beaming, and Aliyah sensed a hint of triumph in Deanna’s gait as they exited the auditorium.
“That’s a sign from Allah,” Deanna said when they were in the conference hall lobby area.
Aliyah was distracted by thoughts of how to get out of having dinner with Deanna and attending another session. “What?”
“That woman,” Deanna said. “I think Allah sent her so that you’ll take me more seriously.”
“Or maybe He sent her so you’ll be grateful for the blessings He’s given you in your work,” Aliyah said. “Everything isn’t about proving me wrong.”
“I’m not trying to prove you wrong, Ally. There’s no point in wasting time on something like that.”
“Well, it seems all you have time for these days.”
“Ally, I don’t need to prove you wrong. There’s nothing to prove. You’re wrong, and that’s clear, even to you. The only thing you need to do is stop being so committed to failure.”
Aliyah swallowed the anger building in her chest. She turned away from Deanna and pretended to study the conference schedule on a large vinyl sign hanging from the ceiling.
“I paid for you to come here so you can learn something,” Deanna said, “not to prove you wrong. I don’t want to see you throw away another marriage.”
Hmph, Aliyah thought. Another marriage. Aliyah hadn’t even met anyone she wanted to marry, so how could she throw away a marriage that didn’t exist? “It’s Jacob,” Benjamin had said to her a week ago. “He asked that I give him a chance to prove he’s the one for you.”
Aliyah shifted in guilty discomfort at the memory. Maybe she’d misunderstood her uncle. It was impossible that he could’ve been talking about Deanna’s husband. Jacob and Deanna were a power couple. They were invincible. They loved each other. Jacob would never want to marry anyone else. He did marriage workshops with Deanna. He’d even written the introduction to her book You Can Have Him All To Yourself. Why would he do that if he knew Deanna wouldn’t have him all to herself?
This was all one big misunderstanding, Aliyah realized. It had to be. Her uncle must have confused Jacob with someone else. Or maybe Aliyah herself had misheard. Whoever this “Prince Charming” was who Benjamin believed was “the one,” it wasn’t Jacob, at least not Deanna’s Jacob.
“It’s Jacob,” Deanna said.
Aliyah’s heart nearly leaped from her chest as she turned around, wide-eyed, to meet Deanna’s gaze.
“It’s Jacob,” Deanna said again, grinning as she grabbed Aliyah’s hand and pulled her forward, walking swiftly toward the glass doors leading outside. “I knew it all along.”
“You did?” Aliyah asked, stumbling over her words—and her legs—as she stared dumbly at Deanna. The cool February air drifted toward them as Deanna opened the door and they stepped into the darkening evening and bustling atmosphere of downtown Washington, D.C.
“As-salaamu’alikum, sweet cake!” Deanna called out as she bounded toward a small crowd gathered on the wide sidewalk near a streetlight. “I knew it! I knew it!” Deanna shouted, laughter in her voice as she released Aliyah and rushed toward the crowd. Deanna laughed as she embraced a man in the crowd, and they kissed briefly on the lips.
“Wa’alaiku-mus-salaam, honey,” Jacob said coolly, a knowing grin on his face.
Deanna glanced back and gestured for Aliyah to come join them. “It’s Jacob,” Deanna said, a smile still plastered to her face. “He said he couldn’t make it to the conference. But he just wanted to surprise me. I knew it,” she said again, brushing his cheek with a kiss.
The pounding in Aliyah’s heart was deafening as she took a cautious step back. Her mouth opened to protest, but her tongue wouldn’t move. Even in that confusing moment, she noticed him looking at her. Not Jacob, but a man next to him. The man had a closely trimmed beard and wore a business suit that did little to conceal his athletic build. There was an air of familiarity about him that Aliyah couldn’t place.
“Jacob, man, who’s that?” the man said in a low voice, clamping Jacob’s shoulder as he nodded his head discreetly in Aliyah’s direction.
“Did you guys eat yet?” Deanna asked, distracting Jacob’s attention away from the man.
“We were just about to walk to this halaal restaurant down the street.” Jacob’s tone was so nonchalant that Aliyah wondered if he even noticed that she was standing less than ten feet away. Or maybe he was behaving normally because it made no difference to him that Aliyah was nearby—because the thought of marrying Aliyah as a second wife had never crossed his mind.
Aliyah had purposely avoided Jacob at work all week, even going as far as to skip a mandatory faculty meeting out of fear he might be there. It was the first time she’d ever done anything like that. She normally took her job responsibilities seriously, especially since she no longer benefited from Matt’s income. Though Matt had custody of their now four-year-old son, Aliyah still had to factor in basic expenses for Ibrahim for when he came to visit; and she could barely pay basic expenses for herself. So she couldn’t afford to slack at work. In the six months since she started working at the local college, she had never missed a single day, even when she was ill enough to stay home. But on Thursday, two days ago, she had told her supervisor that she was too unwell to attend the faculty meeting.
“That’s perfect,” Deanna said, turning to Aliyah. “We were just about to eat too.”
“MashaAllah,” Jacob said, looking toward Aliyah for the first time. “Then come join us. But we should start walking now. It’ll probably be really crowded because of the conference.”
Aliyah immediately lo
wered her gaze. But she couldn’t help feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. In her mind’s eye, she reviewed how she’d looked when she left home earlier that day. She’d selected one of her business-casual cream and black blouse-skirt ensembles because she liked the way it complemented her gentle brown complexion. Inadvertently, she reached up and smoothed down the soft fabric of her cream hijab and made sure the black-studded scarf pin was still in place. But she couldn’t tell if her eyeliner, mascara, and frosted lip-gloss were undisturbed.
What is your problem? Astaghfirullah, Aliyah scolded herself, asking God’s forgiveness. She had no business worrying about her appearance in front of her best friend’s husband. Besides, most likely, she had misunderstood what her uncle was talking about. She hadn’t even given Benjamin a chance to explain himself before ending the call. But now she wondered what her uncle was trying to say before she’d hung up on him.
As Jacob had mentioned, the restaurant was crowded due to the overflow from the marriage conference, but the receptionist who greeted them said the wait for a table shouldn’t be more than thirty minutes. Aliyah felt the familiar tightening in her chest as she stood huddled with the group inside the restaurant near the entrance. She really should have found some excuse to go home. She wouldn’t be able to enjoy her food if she had to be surrounded by so many people, especially while sitting at a table with a bunch of strangers—and Jacob.
Aliyah glanced in the direction of Jacob and saw him laughing at something one of the other men said, Deanna at his arm laughing too. Aliyah looked away. A sense of loneliness weighed on her, and she found herself wondering what Matthew was doing right then. But the image of Nikki, his new wife, came to mind, souring any chance of reminiscing. Rage burned her chest, and she muttered a du’aa to calm herself. The supplication helped quell her anger, but sadness settled in its place.
Aliyah should have known that Nikki and Matt had known each other long before Nikki suddenly appeared, eager to learn about Islam. Matt had asked Aliyah to talk to Nikki and answer any of her questions, and being the naïve, trusting wife that she was, Aliyah enthusiastically fell into “help the clueless non-Muslim” mode. It wasn’t until months after talking on the phone with Nikki and occasionally inviting her over that Nikki casually mentioned that Matt had been her boyfriend in the last two years of high school and throughout most of college. Nikki had broken up with Matt mainly because she feared a long-distance relationship wouldn’t work, so she’d suggested that they date other people to avoid feeling like they were tied down. When Nikki tracked Matt down years later, he was on the verge of converting to Islam, which was an immediate turnoff for her. So once again, they lost touch—until she reappeared after Matt married Aliyah, now suddenly interested in Islam herself.
“Excuse me,” the receptionist said, approaching the group, “we have a table for eight ready now.”
Wow, Aliyah thought to herself. Were they really that many? A surge of apprehension rose inside of her, and pain pulsated at her temples as she wondered where she would sit. But it turned out that Aliyah didn’t have to worry about that.
“Come on, girl,” Deanna said, almost yanking Aliyah forward as she made her way to the front of the group. “Let’s get the best seats.”
“The best seats” ended up being at one end of two tables pushed together near a window. Aliyah breathed a sigh of relief as she settled in a seat directly opposite Deanna. Moments like these she really appreciated her best friend. Even as a child, Aliyah was never good at speaking up for herself and saying what she wanted. As an adult, the only time she felt completely comfortable speaking her mind was when she was in front of a classroom. It wasn’t the worst trait in the world, but at times it was debilitating. And, tonight, had it not been for Deanna’s proactive move to get to the table first and ensure that they weren’t sandwiched between anyone, Aliyah would probably have suffered an anxiety attack before the meal was over.
“As-salaamu’alaikum, sister. I don’t think I’ve met you before.”
Aliyah was fumbling with her menu when she had the odd sensation that someone was looking at her. She looked up to find the man from earlier sitting diagonally across from her next to Jacob, who was sitting next to Deanna (which put Jacob almost directly across from Aliyah). Instinctively, Aliyah glanced to her left to see who was sitting next to her. She recognized the woman immediately. Aliyah couldn’t recall the woman’s name, but she was definitely one of Aliyah’s Facebook friends. The woman’s profile picture frequently appeared in Aliyah’s newsfeed.
“Jacob,” the man said, “is this Brother Benyameen’s niece, the one you were telling me about?”
Taken aback, Aliyah creased her forehead as she looked at the man. Was he talking about her? Muslims often referred to her uncle as Benyameen, the Arabic translation for the name Benjamin.
“Yes, it is,” Jacob said, a proud smile on his face. But his eyes were skimming the menu he was holding.
Aliyah felt a soft kick to her shin under the table, and she immediately glared at Deanna. What? Aliyah mouthed. In response, Deanna wore a wide smile and jerked her head in the man’s direction. What? Aliyah mouthed again, this time with an exaggerated look of confusion on her face. That’s him, Deanna mouthed back. That’s who? Aliyah replied. But Deanna just chuckled quietly and rolled her eyes. She picked up her menu and raised it high enough to block the lower part of her face, a clear hint that, whoever this man was, Aliyah was supposed to impress him tonight.
“Your name is Aliyah, right?” the man said.
Feeling awkward and put on the spot, Aliyah cheeks burned in embarrassment, but she managed a noncommittal nod. “Yes,” she mumbled.
“Brother Benyameen talks about you all the time,” the man said.
“Aliyah,” Jacob said, an apologetic smile creasing one corner of his mouth, “this is my brother, Larry. He took his shahaadah a few months ago.”
Aliyah realized then why the man seemed so familiar. He and Jacob resembled each other. And Aliyah may have even met Larry in passing years ago, before he was Muslim.
“But the brothers call me Ya’qoob,” Larry said quickly. Aliyah sensed the brother’s need to feel affirmation as a Muslim. In a way, it reminded her of Matthew, and a tinge of sadness pinched her. If there was one thing a new Muslim should never do, it was eagerly seek other Muslims’ approval.
“That’s because they keep confusing you with me,” Jacob said, humor in his tone.
Aliyah couldn’t keep from smiling. It was kind of funny, Larry thinking that the Arabic translation of Jacob was a “Muslim name” the brothers had given him.
A thought came to Aliyah suddenly. “Are you married?” she said, her tone a combination of hope and humor as she looked at Larry. It was an aha moment for Aliyah. Maybe it was Larry whom her uncle had been talking about when he’d referred to a brother “Jacob” interested in marrying her. Benjamin knew Jacob and Deanna, but he wasn’t close enough to them to easily distinguish Jacob from Larry. They did favor each other significantly. Even their voices sounded similar. And if Larry referred to himself as “Ya’qoob” whenever he called Benjamin, it was unlikely that her uncle would know it wasn’t Deanna’s husband he was talking to, but Deanna’s brother-in-law. So maybe Larry was the married brother looking for another wife—hence Aliyah’s sudden question.
The deafening silence at the table made Aliyah realize her faux pas. The sister next to her side-eyed her and contorted her face in disapproval.
Married ladies! First rule of thumb: Dump your single girl friends! Ijs.
Aliyah cringed. Juwayriah bint Abdullah. The sister’s name came to her just then. Oh my God, Aliyah thought to herself. The sister next to her was the one who’d posted that “rule of thumb” Facebook status a few months ago, sparking one of the longest and most heated social media debates in Aliyah’s online friend list.
Aliyah had expected Juwayriah to un-friend her after posting that controversial point of view (since, technically speaking, Aliyah was now s
ingle), and Aliyah remembered being surprised that the Juwayriah didn’t. But maybe that rule of thumb only applied in real life interactions, Aliyah figured.
“No,” Larry said, embarrassed laughter in his tone. Aliyah sensed that Larry was flattered by her question, naturally oblivious to the fact that the inquiry was not motivated by any personal interest in him. “But I hope to be soon,” he added, his gaze resting on her long enough to make her shift uncomfortably in her seat.
The flirtatious glint in his eye was unmistakable, and Aliyah was mortified for Larry. Someone really should have taught him about the social etiquette of lowering his gaze. Aliyah was all for letting new Muslims take the baby steps they needed to embrace the Islamic faith at their own pace, but gawking at females was one of the first things Aliyah felt male converts needed to curtail. It really was unbecoming, especially on a man who otherwise appeared levelheaded and intelligent.
“Are you all ready to order?” a perky voice said, interrupting Aliyah’s thoughts.
“Yes, we are,” Jacob said quickly, apparently in an effort to shift the focus to something other than Aliyah’s social blunder and Larry’s naiveté.
“Let’s talk some time,” Larry said, the side of his mouth twitching in a grin.
Aliyah met his gaze briefly, surprised to feel her own eyes glinting flirtatiously. “Yes, let’s,” she said in a low voice.
Chapter 3
The Other Woman
Aliyah turned to the left then to the right as she surveyed her appearance in the full-length mirror affixed to the door of her bedroom. Not bad, she thought to herself, an almost imperceptive grin forming on her lips. She had feared that the dark chocolate business suit wouldn’t compliment her skin tone, but the silk ivory pearl-button blouse and matching georgette hijab brought out her brown complexion as well as the rich color of the tailored blazer and pants. O Allah, she silently supplicated, You have made my physical constitution good, so make my character good also.
