by Umm Zakiyyah
As she drove to work Thursday morning, Aliyah’s thoughts drifted to Larry. In the two weeks since they’d met at the halaal restaurant during the weekend of the marriage conference, Aliyah and Larry had spoken nearly every day. “Call me Ya’qoob,” he’d told her during their first conversation. “I like that name.”
“It’s your brother’s name,” Aliyah said humorously, “only in Arabic.”
“I know,” Larry said, a tinge of sadness and humor in his tone. “It kind of grew on me.” Larry told Aliyah that after a brother in the masjid first addressed him by that name, he’d researched its origin and came across the story of Prophet Ya’qoob in the Qur’an. “He went through so much, yet he remained patient,” Larry said reflectively. “I could use that sort of inspiration in a name.”
“I can understand that,” Aliyah had replied. “I think we should find inspiration wherever we can.”
“Did you know that in the Qur’an, the name Israel is actually another name for Jacob, the Prophet Ya’qoob?” Larry had childlike excitement in his voice. “The children of Israel are descendants of Jacob.”
“Really?” Aliyah said, interest piqued. But she was more impressed with Larry’s knowledge and spiritual motivation than with the information itself. “No, I didn’t know that.”
The chiming of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. She glanced to where her cell phone lay in the compartment next to the driver’s seat, and she was surprised to see a photo of Matthew appear on the screen. Though she and Matthew communicated regularly regarding their son Ibrahim, it was unlike Matthew to call early in the morning when they were both due at work. Aliyah’s heart constricted in trepidation. Had something happened to Ibrahim?
“As-salaamu’alaikum,” Aliyah said after accepting the call on speakerphone so she could use both hands to steer the car. “Is everything okay?” She was raising her voice so loudly that it verged on yelling, which was a bad habit of hers whenever she used the speakerphone option.
“Wa’alaiku-mus-salaam,” a soft female voice replied.
Aliyah drew her eyebrows together. “Who’s this?”
“This is Nicole.”
Oh. Nikki. But why was Matthew’s wife calling her? Aliyah and Nikki would sometimes see each other in passing whenever Aliyah came to pick up Ibrahim, but they hadn’t spoken at length since Aliyah’s divorce. Oh my God, Aliyah thought suddenly. Had something happened to Matt and Ibrahim?
“What’s going on?” Aliyah asked. “What happened?”
“Everything’s fine.” There was a touch of haughtiness in Nikki’s tone, as if amused by Aliyah’s panic. “I’m just using Matt’s phone because mine isn’t working.”
“Oh, okay…” Aliyah was unsure what to say.
“I know you’re probably on your way to work,” Nikki said, “so I won’t take too much of your time.” She drew in a deep breath, and Aliyah sensed that Nikki was preparing to say something offensive. “When my phone is fixed, I’ll text you my number. That way you can communicate directly with me from now on.”
“Excuse me?” Aliyah said, confused.
“It’s not appropriate for you and Matt to be talking to each other since you’re no longer married,” Nikki said. “So if you have any questions or concerns about Ibrahim, call me.”
What the—? A surge of rage lit Aliyah’s chest. The mere sound of her son’s name on this woman’s tongue was enough to make Aliyah want to go through the phone. Was this woman actually saying that Aliyah had to talk to her for anything related to her own son?
“Thank you for letting me know.” Aliyah spoke through clenched teeth, but she made her best effort to sound cordial. “But I’m walking into my office now,” she lied. “So we’ll have to talk later.” Aliyah stabbed the end-call button, and her body shivered in fury as she steered the car onto the exit toward the local college.
Now I’m the other woman? Aliyah thought, irate. Had Nikki lost her mind? Had Matt?
It’s not appropriate for you and Matt to be talking to each other since you’re no longer married.
The words resonated in Aliyah’s mind in time with the angry thumping in her chest. Oh, but it was appropriate for you to talk my husband while we were married, she said to Nikki in her head. And you didn’t even have a child to talk about!
A sharp pain sliced through Aliyah’s temples as she pulled her car into a parking space in the lot reserved for faculty and staff. She turned off the ignition and took a moment to breathe in and out so she could gather her composure. The last thing she wanted was to come into work with a nasty attitude. She was only six and a half months into the standard one-year probation that all new employees went through, so she couldn’t afford a bad day. The money wasn’t much, but it did pay the bills, even if only barely. She was divorced, technically a single mother, so she didn’t often allow herself the indulgence of imagining a better job.
But right then she imagined a better life. Aliyah wished she didn’t get upset so easily. Now she would have to spend half the day trying to calm down and focus on work.
Had Nikki purposely called at this time so she could unnerve Aliyah before work? Aliyah imagined that Matt must have told Nikki about Aliyah’s hypersensitivity and anxiety attacks if she had to deal with confrontation. Sometimes it drove Matt nuts that he couldn’t get a decent argument out of Aliyah. “What’s wrong with you?” he’d said to her once. “Don’t you ever get mad?” But Aliyah’s anger came out in small bursts, usually in snarky remarks, but she’d immediately apologize afterwards and do all she could to smooth things over. In retrospect, that’s probably why she’d pushed the idea of Matt taking Nikki as a second wife. It helped Aliyah avoid a confrontation with Matt or Nikki, because it had been clear Matt was really drawn toward Nikki and Nikki toward him. With polygyny, everybody could be happy. Or so she’d thought.
Nikki knew that Aliyah was overly accommodating. Was that why she’d timed her call right before Aliyah went into work? Nikki must have known that Aliyah wouldn’t have time to discuss the issue, thus forcing Aliyah to comply—or to at least be duly informed without opportunity for a fuss. But Nikki’s phone call could have waited until that evening. Ibrahim was at Matt and Nikki’s house right then, so what was the point?
“That girl is jealous of you,” Deanna often warned. “Watch your back.”
Aliyah would laugh in response. “Jealous of me? For what?”
“What do you mean for what?” Deanna would say. “You’re smart, educated, and good-looking, mashaAllah. But all she has is her looks. Barely.”
Aliyah would listen only halfheartedly whenever Deanna talked like that. Nikki had majored in fashion design in college and had never pursued a degree after her bachelor’s, but Aliyah didn’t feel that made Nikki any less intelligent or less educated than she was. Yes, Aliyah knew that having a dual bachelor’s in mathematics and computer science, a master’s in education, and an unfinished doctorate in mathematics made people think of her as “smart” and “educated,” but Aliyah’s definitions of those terms weren’t so simple. A person’s worth couldn’t be summed up on a piece of paper or resumé. If it could, then why did Matt choose Nikki over Aliyah? Why wasn’t Matt so impressed with Aliyah’s “papers” and accomplishments?
“He was intimidated by you,” Deanna often said. “Most men need to feel superior to their wives. In everything,” she added.
“Then why was he helping pay for my doctorate, Deeja?”
“And why did he stop paying for it? Long before divorce was even a topic of discussion?” Deanna said. “That’s what you should be asking.”
“He didn’t have to pay for it in the first place,” Aliyah said.
“Of course not,” Deanna said. “That’s the point. It was a control thing with him. He was supportive as long as you were indebted to him. But as soon as it looked like you were actually about to get that Ph.D., he put a stop to it. Fast. And he had the nerve to say you shouldn’t get a loan to pay for it yourself because you needed to focus
on being a mother.”
“He was right,” Aliyah said. “After I had Ibrahim, it was hard juggling classes and research while I took care of him. And Matt saw how stressed I was. He was just looking out for me.”
Deanna groaned, laughter in her voice. “One day you’re going to realize that some people only help you so they can control the outcome.”
Aliyah entered the math and science building and swiped her badge. “Good morning, Professor Thomas,” she heard someone say. Aliyah glanced over her shoulder and saw her supervisor.
“Good morning, Dr. Warren,” Aliyah replied, a wide smile on her face as she greeted the woman. Aliyah hoped there were no traces of her earlier fury.
“Will you be able to make it to today’s faculty meeting?”
Aliyah’s face became enflamed with mortification as she recalled trying to avoid Deanna’s husband by telling Dr. Warren she was too unwell to attend a meeting. “Yes, I will be,” Aliyah said, probably too enthusiastically.
Dr. Warren nodded. “Good. Enjoy your day.”
“You too,” Aliyah called after her.
Aliyah felt the vibration of her phone just as she unlocked her office door and pushed it open. She had turned off the ringer before getting out the car, as she routinely did before signing in to work. She hoped it wasn’t Nikki again. Aliyah doubted she could handle the stress right then.
Aliyah pulled the straps of her handbag from her shoulder, set the bag on her desk, then unsnapped the compartment for her mobile phone. When she withdrew the phone, she saw that it was text message that had come through. She unlocked the phone and saw Larry’s name on the display.
Salaamz. I hope you enjoy your day at work. I miss talking to you already :)
A smile pulled at Aliyah’s lips as she put the phone back into her bag. She would text Larry later. She didn’t want him to think she was sitting around waiting to hear from him. But she couldn’t deny the flattery nestling inside her. It really did lift her spirits to read his message. It wiped away some of the lingering aggravation she’d felt after talking to Nikki. She doubted the aggravation would ever be completely gone, at least not until she spoke to Matt and addressed this stupid “you can’t talk to your son’s father” rule. But for now, she appreciated Larry’s small kindness. It was just what she needed to get through the day.
“I need your advice.” It was Aliyah’s lunch break, and she’d decided to use the free moment to call Deanna about the conversation she’d had with Nikki earlier. Before calling Deanna, Aliyah had placed a sign on her office door saying she would return in an hour. She then closed the door and locked it, hoping no one would realize she was inside. She usually worked through her lunch hour and made herself available to help her supervisor or other administrators with anything they needed. It had become such a habit of Aliyah’s that sometimes an administrator would approach her early in the morning and ask if she could do something for them “during lunch.” But today Aliyah was too distracted and upset to care about impressing her superiors. She needed perspective. “I hope I’m not catching you at a bad time,” Aliyah said hesitantly.
“If it’s you calling,” Deanna said, her cheerful mood detectable in her voice, “no time is a bad time.”
Aliyah chuckled self-consciously. “MashaAllah.”
In that moment, Aliyah realized just how grateful she was that it wasn’t Deanna’s husband, Jacob, who’d called her uncle about marrying her as a second wife. It was Larry (who often called himself “Ya’qoob”) who’d called Benjamin. And because the discussion of marriage had been through phone calls alone, Benjamin never realized that it was Larry he’d been talking to the whole time. Aliyah had never spoken to Benjamin himself about the mix-up, but she was able to talk to Larry about it, who’d confirmed that he indeed had been calling her uncle Benjamin about marrying her.
“Nikki called me this morning,” Aliyah said, anxiety tightening in her chest as she blurted this out. “And she said I can’t talk to Matt about Ibrahim anymore. She said I have to talk to her, but I—”
“What!” Deanna said before Aliyah could finish her sentence. “Are you at your office now?”
“Yes,” Aliyah said. “It’s my lunch break, so I can’t talk long.”
“Don’t worry, ukhti,” Deanna said. “I’m coming.”
“No, no, it’s okay.” Aliyah’s heart raced in panic as she realized that Deanna intended to come to the college. Aliyah’s department had a strict no-visitors policy for faculty and staff during work hours, and Aliyah did not want to violate it. Occasionally, some of her colleagues would have family and friends visit, but these employees had tenure and the supervisor’s good graces. “I’m not allowed to have—”
“Girl, forget those people,” Deanna said. “I know about that stupid no-visitors rule. Jacob told me about it when they started it a few years ago, but that doesn’t faze me. I’m not going to let these people tell me I can’t be there for my best friend when she needs me.”
“Deanna, no, really.” Aliyah’s voice was a plea. “I can talk to you when I get home. It’s not a problem. I don’t want anyone to come here. They don’t even know I’m in my office. So we could just…” Aliyah’s voice trailed as she realized that Deanna was actually listening to her without interrupting. “…meet for dinner or something? Or even tomorrow, if that’s better for you?”
When Deanna didn’t respond, Aliyah pulled the phone from her ear and saw the standard mobile display. Her heart dropped. There was no indication that a call was in session. She should have known. Deanna had hung up already. Aliyah groaned and shook her head as she redialed Deanna.
Deanna answered after the first ring. “Don’t worry, Ally-pooh,” she said before Aliyah could even give salaams. “I’m not letting that school tell us what to do.”
“But Deanna,” Aliyah said hesitantly, not wanting to offend her friend, “I could get in trouble.”
“Girl, shut up. They don’t own you,” Deanna said. “Don’t forget I’m the one who got you that job, so I can come up there any time I want. Now let me drive.”
Aliyah pulled the phone from her ear to see if the call was still active, and the call ended just as she did. Aliyah sighed as she set the phone on her desk and leaned back in her chair. Experiences like these were what kept Aliyah from confiding in Deanna more. Deanna rarely saw the world from anyone else’s vantage point.
Once, a few years ago, Deanna had made plans to spend a whole Saturday with Aliyah without even informing Aliyah beforehand. Deanna had bought the two of them tickets to a movie and planned to spend the rest of the afternoon and evening at an outlet mall taking advantage of closeout sales. But Aliyah and Matt had already made plans themselves and had even arranged for Matt’s parents to babysit Ibrahim while they were out. About an hour before Aliyah and Matt were scheduled to leave, Deanna showed up at their house. “Girl, get dressed,” Deanna had said when Aliyah opened the door. “We’re having a girls day out.” Taken aback, Aliyah didn’t know what to say. “But…” she had stammered, “Matt wants to spend time with me today.” Aliyah’s voice was pained, and she apologized with her eyes. “That’s perfect!” Deanna had replied, stepping inside the house and closing the door behind her. “I don’t mind if he joins us,” she said.
A loud knock along with the sound of a key being turned in the door interrupted Aliyah’s thoughts. She immediately jumped to her feet, worried that the custodial staff were doing their cleaning rounds. Though Aliyah was sure her presence wouldn’t make any difference to them, it was still embarrassing to imagine anyone realizing she was in her office when the sign on her door suggested she was not. The door opened just as Aliyah started to turn the handle herself.
“As-salaamu’alikum, my Aliyah-pooh!” Deanna called out cheerfully, stepping inside the office. Patches of red colored Deanna’s yellowish brown cheeks as she smiled.
Aliyah quickly pushed the door closed and locked it. “How did you get here so fast?”
“I was dropping off som
e of my business cards at the masjid,” Deanna said. She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “You know those Muslims could use some serious help in their marriages.”
Aliyah started to ask Deanna how she had gotten a key to her office, but Aliyah remembered Deanna removing the original from Aliyah’s key ring shortly after Aliyah was hired at the college. At the time, Aliyah was cleaning out the office and setting up, and Deanna was helping. Though it had made Aliyah uncomfortable that Deanna would go through her purse and make a copy of the office key without asking, Aliyah told herself that Deanna was only trying to be helpful. Deanna having her own key made it easy for her to come and go when Aliyah couldn’t be in the office herself while setting up. Ironically, it was during this time that Aliyah was told about the no-visitors rule. Thankfully, it had been Jacob, the head of the math department, who had told her. But he assured her that for the time being, it wasn’t an issue. No one would think Deanna was there because of Aliyah, he’d told her. At the time, the staff knew Deanna only as Jacob’s wife.
“No offense,” Deanna said.
Aliyah creased her forehead. “What?”
“Never mind.” Deanna waved her hand dismissively as she settled in one of the student chairs in front of Aliyah’s desk. “Tell me about this Nikki wench.”
Aliyah was uncomfortable with Deanna’s derogatory reference to Matt’s wife. It treaded too closely to backbiting for her tastes, but she knew there was no use saying this to Deanna. In the past, whenever Aliyah had asked Deanna not to backbite, Deanna had rolled her eyes and said, “Girl, nobody’s backbiting. I don’t know what those masjid fanatics are putting in your head.”
Aliyah decided to focus on the problem at hand, so she settled in her desk chair and explained to Deanna what had happened. “…and now she’s saying it’s not appropriate for me and Matt to talk anymore,” Aliyah finished.
“I told you she’s jealous of you,” Deanna said.
