His Other Wife

by Umm Zakiyyah

  Salima chuckled. “That’s why you have to find the one whom Allah sent especially for you,” she answered.

  “What?” Larry laughed out loud and smacked the steering wheel. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “No joke.”

  “And what about avoiding Hellfire?” Larry asked.

  “A true spiritual guide will never lead you to Hellfire,” Salima recited monotone.

  Larry was quiet momentarily as fear gripped him at the thought of going astray after Allah had guided him from disbelief to Islam. “Salima,” he said quietly, “let’s make a vow to never do that to each other.”

  “May Allah protect us.”

  “I mean, let’s actually put it in writing.”

  There was a thoughtful pause. “I have no problem with that,” she said.

  “I just…” He sighed and pursed his lips as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I just don’t want to be so scared to face Allah alone that I put the responsibility of my soul on someone else.”

  Salima was quiet momentarily. “I agree,” she said. “But I do understand the temptation.”

  “I think we all do,” Larry said. “That’s why groups like this are so popular.” He grunted. “In every religion.”

  Salima sighed. “I know…”

  “I’m not going to lie.” There was sad humor in Larry’s tone. “Believing Jesus died for my sins felt really good.”

  Salima coughed laugher. “I can imagine.”

  “So I see where it can be addicting,” Larry said, his eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he looked at the road in front of him. “It’s terrifying reading all that stuff about the punishment of the grave and the torment of Hellfire.”

  “Waqinaa ‘adhaab al-qabr,” Salima said. “Waqinaa ‘adhaab an-naar.”

  “Ameen,” Larry said, recognizing Salima’s words as a supplication asking for protection for the dual torment of the grave and the Fire.

  They were lost in thought for some time.

  “But how would we word it?” Larry said.

  “You mean the vow in our marriage contract?” Salima said.

  “Yes.”

  She was quiet for some time. “Maybe we can say that we agree to establish our marriage on the clear, undisputed foundational principles of the Qur’an and Sunnah,” she suggested. “And that any issue that is subject to differences of opinions amongst scholars and schools of thought, we will study the proofs for all of them, then make Istikhaarah before following any one.”

  Larry nodded. “I like that, mashaAllah,” he said. “And can we add that we’ll never try to force each other to follow any human being completely except the Prophet, peace be upon him.”

  “Agreed,” Salima said.

  “And that we agree to never give complete allegiance to any ideology or group,” he added, “except to Islam itself and to all our Muslim brothers and sisters?”

  “And that we commit fully to following the truth,” she added, “no matter where or from whom we learn it. And that we stay away from falsehood, no matter where we hear it or who teaches it.”

  Larry grinned, feeling pleased with the blessing that Allah was bestowing on him in his soon-to-be wife. “Can I add one more thing?” Larry said.

  “Of course.”

  “That you teach me Qur’an every day,” he said, “even it’s only for five minutes.”

  “No problem,” Salima said, and he could hear the smile in her voice. “I like that idea, mashaAllah.”

  “With meaning and reflection,” Larry added. “I don’t want to just memorize the words.”

  He heard Salima laugh. “With all this,” she said, “I’m not sure I’ll even need a mahr. Marrying you is my marriage gift, mashaAllah.”

  The grin on Larry’s face spread wide. “And marrying you is my life gift,” he said. “And I’ll be honored to give you any mahr you desire, no matter how much it costs. Because marrying you is worth more than any dowry I could buy.”

  ***

  Jacob was standing in the hall outside the masjid prayer area overseeing the setup of the tables when he felt a buzzing in his pocket and heard a distant chiming sound. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and saw a text message alert from Deanna. He groaned internally before unlocking his phone. I need to change this passcode, he thought to himself as he used his index finger to key in 0419.

  We need to talk, her text message said. It’s really important. I’m outside.

  Jacob’s first instinct was to ignore it. Deanna had a propensity for being dramatic, and Jacob wasn’t in the mood for any Deanna drama right then. Guests would be arriving in about twenty minutes, and he and the brothers were already behind in getting everything set up. But he was relieved that at least Aliyah had a ride now. Aliyah was at her apartment with Ibrahim, Younus, and Thawab and had planned to drive to the masjid, but after he asked that she didn’t, she’d texted to tell him that Salima agreed to pick her up.

  I’m inside, he texted back. He was aggravated at the disruption, but he couldn’t be sure that Deanna’s concerns weren’t related to the waleemah preparation since she had appointed herself as the event planner for the women’s side.

  Can you just come outside? I’m in my car.

  Jacob clenched his jaw as he sent his reply. No. I’m busy setting up. Less than three seconds after he sent the message his phone rang, and he saw Deanna’s name on the screen.

  “What is it?” he said, speaking through gritted teeth as he put the phone to his ear.

  “We need...” She sniffed. “…to talk.” She sounded breathless, as if she’d been crying, but her voice was stern in insistence.

  “Then talk,” Jacob said. “I can’t come outside.”

  He heard her huff in annoyance. “Can’t you just give me two minutes?”

  “I don’t have two minutes, Deanna.”

  He heard her sniffling. “I gave you twelve years of my life,” Deanna said, bitterness in her tone. “The least you can do is give me two stupid minutes.”

  He drew in a deep breath and exhaled, shaking his head as he turned his back to the brothers setting up the tables. This is what he’d feared when Deanna had volunteered to help. It seemed that nothing could go well with her except that she’d personally dismantle every single good she’d done. Everything with her was about keeping score instead of earning blessings.

  “Not on the night of my waleemah,” he said, unmoved. “So if what you say can’t be said on the phone, then we’ll have to talk another time.”

  The other line was silent for some time. “I’m going home, Jacob,” she said finally. “I’m not staying for the waleemah.”

  Jacob heaved a sigh of relief, but he was careful to keep the relief out of his voice. “Why?” he said in obligatory annoyance. “Aren’t you supposed to be setting up downstairs?”

  “Juwayriah and Nikki are taking care of everything.”

  “Well, we appreciate everything you’ve done so far,” Jacob said. “So jazaakillaahukhairan.”

  Deanna was silent for several seconds, and Jacob sensed she wasn’t finished. “And I want you to know I’m fine with you and Aliyah,” she said.

  Jacob drew his eyebrows together, uncomfortable with Deanna’s uncharacteristic kindness. “Well… thank you. I’m happy to hear that.”

  “So I want you to think about us.”

  Jacob’s lips formed a thin line of annoyance. He should’ve known there was a caveat.

  “And before you say anything,” Deanna said, raising her voice, as if anticipating a refusal. “Just consider it, okay? I’m fine with being your second wife, even if we don’t tell everybody just yet,” she said. “You know, just like how you did with Aliyah.”

  Jacob’s nose flared as he tucked in his lower lip to keep from speaking before he could calm the fury building inside him.

  “Remember how you used to say men are the maintainers and protectors of all women?”

  “Allah said that,” he said with disinterest.

&nb
sp; “Well, I…”

  “Deanna, look,” he said, unable to keep quiet any longer. “Let me just cut to the chase. I’m not going to marry you as a second, third, or even fourth wife.” He huffed. “And even if a sheikh were to give a fatwa that the women whom our right hands possess could be anyone we chose,” he said, “I would never choose you.”

  There was a voice inside Jacob’s head telling him he was going too far. But in that moment, he was so infuriated with all he’d put up with that he wanted her games to end, once and for all. That she had the nerve to insert herself into his and Aliyah’s life under the guise of supporting them only to try to snare him on the night of his waleemah was even more enraging. It wasn’t enough that she practically stalked and trapped him before marriage, slandered the woman he wanted to marry, then made his life a living hell once she got him. Now she had to play the damsel in distress, trying to appeal to his Muslim male honor.

  No more, he said to himself, just as he had after she’d slapped him for speaking his mind during their joint interview.

  “I’m not asking for equal time,” Deanna muttered angrily. “So what’s the problem?”

  “The problem?” Jacob said, lowering his voice out of fear he would start yelling. “What’s not the problem, Deanna? Let’s start there.”

  “We have two boys, and—”

  “And?” he interjected challengingly.

  “—the least we can do is stay together for them.”

  “Now you’re trying to guilt-trip me?” He would have laughed if she weren’t serious. “I don’t believe in putting on faces for the world, Deanna. Been there, done that,” he said. “Once upon a time I was stupid enough to believe that a miserable, destructive marriage was better than any type of divorce.” He grunted. “For me and my children.”

  “But Shaytaan loves d—”

  “But Shaytaan?” he interjected, before she could finish her sentence, humored disbelief in his tone. “Are you seriously going to sit here and tell me about what the chief devil likes?” He coughed laughter. “Let me tell you a little secret about our friend Iblis, Deanna,” he said sarcastically. “Yes, he loves divorce. He loves destroying marriages and families and all that other stuff you learned at Sunday school.” He paused then added, “In church and in the masjid.” He huffed. “But you know what he loves to destroy more than all of that?”

  Deanna was silent.

  “Our souls,” Jacob said. “You hear that? Our souls.” He exhaled in annoyance and shook his head. “And being married to you was destroying my soul.” He was quiet for several seconds as he let that sink in. “So if you can show me any verse in the Qur’an or hadith from the Prophet, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam, that says saving a marriage is more important than saving my soul, then I’m all yours.”

  Deanna was still silent.

  “But for now, I have a marriage to celebrate,” Jacob said, a taunt in his voice. “As-salaamu’alaikum,” he said, disconnecting the call without even waiting for a reply.

  ***

  “You sure I look okay?” Aliyah said, a lopsided smile on her face as she glanced down at herself uncertainly, pearl teardrops dangling from her ears. She was wearing a fitted cream sleeveless gown with pearl beading on the bodice and a matching short jacket that stopped just above her waist. Flat twists lay against the front of her head, and the back of her hair was swept up in pearl-beaded clip.

  “You look amazing, mashaAllah,” Salima said, grinning proudly at Aliyah from where she stood next to her in the women’s bathroom across from the dining hall.

  “Who’s all here?” Aliyah said nervously.

  “Everyone,” Salima said. “Reem, Mashael, Nikki, Juway—”

  “Reem and Mashael?” Aliyah said, excitement in her voice.

  “Yes,” Salima nodded. “Though I don’t think Reem expected to see Mashael here.”

  “Oh, mashaAllah.” Aliyah’s heart raced, as she could hardly contain how ecstatic she felt. “I’m so happy they reconciled.”

  Aliyah shook her head then grabbed Salima’s hands. “Can you believe it?” she said. “Everybody here to celebrate my marriage.” She grinned. “To Jacob!”

  “Well, Allah has certainly blessed you,” Salima said. “MashaAllah. I would’ve never imagined things would turn out like this.”

  A sad smile lingered on Aliyah’s face, and her eyes glistened as she let go of Salima’s hands. “May Allah bless Deanna, truly,” Aliyah said with a sigh. “I think with all she’s done to help with my waleemah, I’m not upset with her anymore.”

  Salima nodded. “That’s good, mashaAllah. I’m really happy for the both of you.”

  “I’ll have to make sure I thank her personally,” Aliyah said. “I mean, in front of everyone.”

  “I think she stepped out though…” Salima said, uncertainty in her tone. “When I was looking for her, Juwayriah said she had to run home or something.”

  Aliyah waved her hand dismissively. “That’s fine. She probably just went home to change clothes,” she said. “After all that setting up, she probably was sweaty.”

  “Probably,” Salima agreed. “And you know Deanna has to look just right.”

  There was an extended silence as Aliyah smiled knowingly at Salima.

  “What?” Salima said, laughter in her voice.

  “So when’s the big day for you and Larry?”

  “Oh no,” Salima said, chuckling and shaking her head as she grabbed Aliyah’s hand and started for the exit. “Today is all about you.”

  “But aren’t you two driving up to talk to your parents next weekend?” Aliyah said.

  Salima laughed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she sang out as she guided Aliyah out the door.

  A minute later, when Aliyah walked into the dining hall, the noise level rose as the sound of the daff filled the room, as did the ululating of several women. Aliyah laughed and danced along with the women, her cheeks hurting from how widely she was smiling from how happy she felt.

  Chapter 37

  Future Plans

  The Sunday morning after her and Jacob’s waleemah, Aliyah sat smiling to herself as she sat cross-legged on the fold-out mattress in Jacob’s office where she and Jacob had slept the night before, Jacob having stepped out to take a phone call. The wedding party had turned out well, Aliyah reflected, and she was pleased that everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Aliyah was a bit disappointed that Deanna did not end up returning to the waleemah and joining them. But Aliyah was grateful that she had remembered to make an announcement thanking Deanna for overseeing the decorations and part of the planning.

  Allah really blessed me by sending me Jacob, Aliyah thought to herself. She wondered how her life would have turned out if she’d remained with Matt, or even with her high school boyfriend before Islam. Where would she be today if she’d believed all the faulty relationship advice she’d heard growing up? The vast majority of relationship guidance was rooted in focusing on the goodness of the person you were with instead of focusing on the goodness (or lack thereof) of your life and soul as a result of being with them. It wasn’t until after she married Jacob that she realized the emotional and spiritual tragedy of viewing marriage from the outside in instead of the inside out.

  But God tells us to make decisions based upon the goodness a person or situation brings to our lives and souls. Yet rare was the advisor—professional or religious—who advised taking an honest look within yourself and within your life before deciding on marriage or divorce. So much of their advice seemed to be rooted in emotional and spiritual manipulation instead of preserving your emotional and spiritual health. “If he’s good to you, you have no reason to leave.” Based on that advice, Aliyah should still be with Curtis, her high school boyfriend.

  Ally and Curtis had discussed keeping in touch after graduation, but they both knew that their relationship wasn’t meant to last beyond high school. Their conversation about “keeping in touch” itself was a sign that neither of them desi
red a long-term commitment. But what Aliyah found odd was that, until that conversation, she hadn’t known that she felt that way. In the two years that she and Curtis were together, she’d honestly thought they would get married one day and have children, and she’d imagined that Curtis felt the same. But in the end, there was a silent agreement between them that this wasn’t what either of them wanted.

  Ironically, her experience with Matt ended up being similar to her experience with Curtis, even as she had matured enough to know that she wanted something deeper and more meaningful than her high school relationship. But whereas her low self-esteem and inexperience had made her excited to be with Curtis, her general loneliness and spiritual insecurity had made her excited to be with Matt, at least initially. In the beginning, the physical companionship alone was enough to make Aliyah content. But it wasn’t a contentment that emanated from the heart. It was a contentment that emanated from the external security and sense of being needed that marriage offered, as all of her marital happiness stemmed from knowing she was in a “good marriage” to a “good man.”

  But neither that good marriage nor that good man had brought much goodness to her life and soul.

  “It’s your secret, man,” Aliyah heard a crackling voice come from the speakerphone on Jacob’s mobile as he returned to the room, cell phone in hand. “And you couldn’t even keep it. So how do you expect me to?”

  Jacob laughed. “It’s all right, man,” he said. “I’m sure she would’ve told Salima herself sooner or later.”

  “Tell Aliyah I’m sorry about that though,” Larry’s voice said.

  “No problem,” Jacob said, glancing toward Aliyah briefly. “But I’m still good for next Saturday, insha’Allah.”

  “Don’t be dropping out on me, man,” Larry said. “Salima might call off the whole trip if we have to drive there alone.”

  “Why doesn’t she ask Jamil?” Jacob said, curiosity in his tone. “He might not mind spending the day with his parents.”