by H. M. Ward
I decide to tell him, “Remember how I told you that this stuff kinda did happen to my family?” He nods. “It happened to my mother. My Grandmother didn’t like my Dad. She didn’t think he was good enough. Ma ran off with him. She lost her inheritance and her name. And you know what’s funny? I never once felt sorry for Ma. Yeah, we were broke, but some things are worth more than money, ya know? And when you find them, you hold onto them no matter the cost.”
Cole’s silently presses a kiss to my temple. “I’m glad I have you.”
“You’ll always have me.”
CHAPTER 14
We stay like that for a little bit. Cole has to take care of some things with his lawyer this afternoon, in preparation for the court case later this week. Before he leaves, Cole smiles at me and leans close, whispering something naughty in my ear. When he pulls back he sees my face turn bright red as I smile sheepishly.
God, I love him.
Cole leaves for his apartment after that and I have the place to myself for a few hours. I spend the day getting girlied up for later tonight. After painting my nails, I lay in a hot tub filled with bubbles, relaxing and feeling happy. Memories of last night play through my mind and I let them. The way Cole’s hands felt on me, the way his eyes seared my skin, everything Cole did was exactly what I wanted. I’ve never had a sex dream that made me that excited. Having it happen in real life was insanely awesome. I nearly giggle thinking about what will happen later tonight.
I hope there will be more watching and teasing. And, maybe, Cole won’t mind if things get a little kinky.
I smile to myself and close my eyes, leaning my head back against tub. I’ve never been this happy, like ever. I don’t believe in fate, but that’s what it seems like. Cole and I are meant to be together. Nothing can keep us apart. It scares and astounds me how much I love him. I decide that’s a good thing. I relax, flicking my toes and popping bubbles occasionally, when I hear a noise. My forehead creases as I sit up a little bit and listen harder. The water dripping off my body muffles it so that I can’t hear much. It’s not a loud noise, so I don’t know why it concerns me. It’s the kind of sound a cat makes when it jumps off a couch and onto the floor. We don’t have a cat though, and all the windows are shut. For a second, I think a squirrel or something got inside, but I should hear nails scraping on the floor and scampering little feet. Turning, I dangle my arms over the edge of the tub and listen. I sit so still that the only thing I can hear is my heartbeat. Maybe it’s not an animal.
“Em, is that you?” I call out, but there’s no answer. The feeling that I’m not alone doesn’t fade. I try to ignore it, write it off as strung out nerves from the past few weeks, but when I lay back in the bubbles, I can’t relax. The bathroom door is shut, but not locked. I feel a crazy urge to lock it and hide. I glance around and curse silently. I usually leave my phone on the counter, but it’s in the other room. My pepper spray is in my purse, next to my bed on the floor. I don’t have anything in here to protect myself with, except a curling iron and some hairspray.
Stop it, Anna! I scold myself. There’s no one here.
On principle, I lean back and force myself to sit in the tub for another five minutes. I’m not some scared little kid who can’t stay home alone. I try to close my eyes, but it creeps the hell out of me. My entire body is covered in goose bumps and I shiver like someone stepped on my grave. My throat tightens and I want to scream.
I sit up slowly, trying not to make a noise. I feel stupid for reacting this way. I locked the front door after Cole left. The windows are all locked. There’s no way someone got inside. I would have heard the door split open. The sound should have been loud, but it wasn’t. It was soft, like a paw striking the carpet.
Just as I decide to get up, the floorboard outside the bathroom door creaks. Instinctively, I tense. My eyes widen as my pulse jumps up into heart attack territory. I stare at the space between the bottom of the door and the floor—there’s a shadow. Someone is standing there.
I don’t move. I don’t breathe. I sit there in the soapy water waiting for Em to knock. It has to be her. It has to be. But in my gut, I know it’s not. The hairs on the back of my neck are all standing on end. Every inch of my forearms is prickled with bumps. My throat goes dry. It feels like I should scream, but I can’t. I can’t blink, I can’t swallow. I just stare at the shadow and shiver. The sound of a hand resting on the doorknob echoes through my ears.
I’m waiting for something to make sense, waiting for Emma’s voice, but it never comes.
SECRETS
Volume 5
CHAPTER 1
The metallic click of a fingernail against the doorknob sends me out of my mind. Whoever is there knows damn well that I’m in here. I force my muscles to move, to stretch, as I stand and get out of the tub. Taking the only thing that I can use as a weapon, I grab a can of hairspray, intending to spray and smack the intruder with the can, if I get that lucky.
The shadow shifts and the floorboards creak. The nails jiggle the knob once more and then are dragged down the door in one slow sweeping motion. My heart climbs into my throat as my pulse goes into heart failure territory. Every inch of my body is shivering, but it has nothing to do with being cold. I want to grab the towel and wrap it around my body, but I’m too afraid to turn away from the door. I stand there after I step out of the tub, letting the water roll off me and onto the floor. Puddles form under my feet. My fingers clutch the can of hairspray tighter. I shake it and pull the cap off, putting it down softly on the counter. My nerves are shot to hell. I know someone is on the other side of the door and for whatever reason, they haven’t opened it yet.
I reach my hand slowly toward the knob, ignoring how my fingers shake, as I lift the can of hairspray in my other hand. My breath catches in my throat. My fingers touch the cold metal knob. Every last breath of air is crushed out of me. I stare, unblinking, ready to fight whatever assailant lies on the other side.
Without warning, I yank the door open. I scream and spray, practically dancing in fear, trying to see who was waiting on the other side. After a second, I get enough of my brains back to realize that no one is at eye level. My gaze falls to the floor and I scream. A raccoon the size of a dog is hissing at me, and looks like it’s ready to attack.
“Awh, what the hell, what the hell, what the hell!” I scream—almost sing—as I act without thinking and jump over it. When I leap over the thing’s head, it twists to look at me. It must think I’m attacking, because it fights back. It rears up on its hind legs when I’m airborne over its body. My foot connects with the side of its head and the raccoon goes flying backwards into the bath, as I fall on the floor. It splashes in the tub, while making the most ear-piercing sounds I’ve ever heard. The animal clings to the side of the tub, trying to climb out, soaked. And completely pissed. I gawk at it for a second and then scramble my naked butt across the hall and go running into the living room. The insane animal runs like I’m the one attacking. It darts past me, soaking wet, and climbs our bookcases. The entire time, I’m screaming like someone is killing me.
When the knock at the door comes, I throw it open to see the eighteen-year-old high school kid that lives next door. His gaze is downcast at first and he starts to ask, “I heard yelling and wanted to make sure…” His voice cuts off as he stares at me wide-eyed.
The blast of fresh air and James’ unblinking brown eyes remind me that I’m naked. I turn and snatch at a sweater that’s hanging by the door and wrap it around me as quickly as possible. I slam the door shut behind James. Responding to him, I say, “No! That thing attacked me!” I’m breathing hard and can’t catch my breath. My pulse won’t slow and James looks like his brain melted. I blink at him as I tug the sweater tighter around my shoulders. The bottom of my ass is hanging out. I pull the sweater down, but then my boobs are hanging out. Hysterical sobs start to bubble up my throat and James seems to remember that I’m a real person.
I’m pointing at the raccoon. It’s perched on
top of the bookcase with its hackles raised, hissing at us. “That thing broke in. I thought….I thought,” I blubber, motioning at it, “it was a—”
James finally snaps out of it. He says calmly, “It’s fine, Miss Lamore. He’s just spooked.” James looks around and asks, “How’d he get in here?”
“I have no clue,” I say, my voice shaking, my entire body billowing like a reed in a breeze. I shiver and I can’t stop.
James’ eyes flick between me and the massive rodent snarling on my top shelf. Its little black muzzle looks like it’ll rip my face off if I step closer. James seems to decide something and steps towards it. I grab his shoulder, and scold him like he’s five, “Stay away from that thing! It’s crazy.”
James smiles and shakes his head. “He’s just spooked.” Ignoring me, James steps toward the animal, making cooing sounds. The raccoon stops hissing, but still looks mortified. It doesn’t move. After a moment, James turns to ask, “Do you have an apple or something?”
Nodding, I go to the kitchen to grab one and return, giving it to the kid. “Don’t let it bite you. Your mother is going to kill me as it is.”
James lifts the apple in the air. He uses a pocket knife to cut small pieces off. James can barely get the first few pieces to the psychotic rodent, but eventually its stomach overpowers its fear, and the giant fur ball climbs down. James opens the front door and throws the remains of the apple outside. The raccoon runs after it, and bounds down the front steps. I slam the door shut, and lean against it, splaying my fingers against the metal. I close my eyes, and tilt my head back. A major freak out is building inside of me.
James clears his throat and seems to look anywhere but at me. “It looks like he got in through the chimney.” The kid points at the old fireplace and the knocked over candles that had been on the hearth. “I can tell the landlord to fix the trap, and you should board that up. I have no idea how he squeezed his way down. Usually squirrels are an issue, not raccoons.”
I realize he’s talking, and blink. Looking at him, I shake my head, saying, “No, I’ll tell the landlord about it. You’ve been enough help.” My face is burning. I think I was running around naked in front of this kid for way longer than I should have. I bite my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “Thank you.”
He smiles awkwardly at me and says, “It was my pleasure.” James smirks and then disappears through the door. I push it shut behind him.
Then, I plaster my hands to my face and fall to the floor and cry. I cry because my emotions are so tangled that I can’t tell which way is up. I thought someone was there, that the person who was following me was ready to butcher my body and hide me under the floorboards, and my only defense was a can of hairspray. I’m pathetic. No one’s been following me. I let me mind runaway with brains.
CHAPTER 2
After I pull myself together, I head back to my room to change. Something feels off, but I can’t tell what. I glance around and everything looks the same. It’s just the raccoon, I think to myself. He probably got in here and moved some things. Ignoring the ice swirling in my stomach, I go to my laundry basket and heft it onto the bed. I’m still trying to find my favorite pair of panties. I dig through the basket, but they don’t turn up. The dryer doesn’t eat expensive panties. I’m usually so careful with them and I cannot imagine what I’ve done with them.
Annoyed, I suck in a gasp of air and sit down hard on the bed, letting the cold, damp, sweater I’m wearing to slouch down a little bit. The window is closed. Sunlight pours into the room through the slats in the mini blinds. I pull my hair out of the towel. I take a second to figure out what else to wear, when I look up.
Across the room is my dresser. It’s old, a hand-me-down, and the top is covered in make-up, blush brushes, and lip sticks that I didn’t put away. A square mirror with a chipped edge hangs above the dresser. Scrawled across the glass in bright red lipstick is a single word.
WHORE.
Every nerve in my body is already frayed. Seeing this makes me come apart. I feel myself unraveling bit by bit and I can’t stop it. My heart climbs into my throat, pounding wildly. My jaw drops open as I stand and walk toward the piece of glass.
I glance around again, but no one is here. I’m alone. There is no other sign that someone has been in my room. I touch my fingers to the cold pane, touching the W with my index finger. It’s written in lipstick, my favorite cherry red lipstick. It’s the one that I like to wear on dates. Shaking, I yank my hand back from the mirror like I’ve been burned.
Someone was here. It wasn’t my imagination. It wasn’t a raccoon that freaked me out. Someone had stood outside my bathroom door and then come in here.
Frantic, I dress, pulling on jeans and a tank top. Fear slices me into little bits, making my mind freeze up and not work. The only thing I can think is to ask James if he saw someone leave my apartment. I walk outside, run next door, and bang on his front door too hard. His mother appears. She has bright red hair that’s pulled away from her face with combs. A spattering of freckles line her pale cheeks. Her name is Gabby.
“Is James around?” I ask, breathing I little too hard.
Gabby’s arms fold over her chest, “What’d he do?”
“Nothing,” I shake my head. “Well, actually, he helped me get a raccoon out of my apartment earlier. I wanted to ask him if he saw something.”
The square of Gabby’s shoulders soften and she turns, bellowing for her son over her shoulder. “Thank God that’s all you had to say. I thought you were going to tell me he knocked you up or something.” She shakes her head and turns away from the door, leaving me on the porch alone.
I ignore her statement, which should have irked me, and glance up and down the street. It’s filled with people. No raccoons. No one wearing a sign that says STALKER.
James appears at the door. I step back to let him out and he walks onto the porch. “What’s up?” he asks, pushing his hands into his pockets. “More rodent problems?”
I shake my head. I can’t look him in the eye. Something creeps down my back and suddenly, I wonder if it was him—if this kid has been the one watching me, following me. I glance up at him, and think I’m insane. James is a good kid. “I think someone was in my apartment right before you came in. Any chance you saw someone come out when I started screaming?”
James’s eyes flick to the side like he’s remembering. His hand touches his jaw, but he shakes his head. “No, just the scream. And your door was locked when I got there. I would have come in if it wasn’t. I thought someone was hurting you.”
I nod slowly, my hope sinking into my stomach. “Oh, okay.” I turn to walk back. I feel the mental fog thicken. I don’t know what to do.
James says, “What’s the matter? Why do you think someone was inside?” I can’t answer him. I don’t want to admit it, because that will make it real. Right now it’s an abstract idea, but if I say it… Oh God. I wrap my arms around my middle and turn off the steps. I start to walk away when James calls after me, “Hey, wait a second.” He follows me back to my door, asking questions that I can’t answer. Finally, he says, “Are you all right, Miss Lamore?”
No, I’m not all right, but what am I supposed to say? He’s a kid. I don’t want to burden him with this, and if I say another word, the tears I’m holding back will spill down my cheeks. James looks at me, waiting for an answer.
I glance at him, and force a smile. “Anna, call me Anna. I’m not that much older than you. Thanks for helping earlier.” James nods slowly, like I might say something else, but I don’t. He turns to walk away and I go back into my apartment.
I shut the door behind me and flip the deadbolt lock even though its daylight. My throat is so tight and dry that I can’t swallow. Hysteria pushes its way through my veins. I want to get out of here and never come back.
I go back to my room, find my phone, and press in the numbers for Emma. I have to tell her even if I don’t want to. If she comes back here alone and something happens to her, I’ll neve
r forgive myself. Em’s voicemail picks up, since she’s still at work.
I try to say it briefly, but as I’m talking, I think that I sound way too scared for what happened. So someone wrote something nasty on my mirror?
Someone was in your apartment, Anna! My mind snaps back. Shaking my head, I change the reason for the call and tell her a raccoon got in and to be careful when she gets home. I hang up and tap my phone. For some reason, I can’t say it. I can’t admit what happened, yet. At the same time, I don’t want her walking in here at night, alone. I have to do something.
I call his number without thinking. He picks up on the second ring. “Edward?”
His voice sounds surprised, “Anna? What’s going on?”
“Any chance you could come over later? I have an appointment and I don’t want Em alone here.”
He asks what happened. I tell him about the raccoon, and that I’m a little on edge. I don’t know where it came from and the more I think about it, the less likely it seems that it came down the chimney. I wonder if the perv threw it in the apartment when he came in. I fall silent and Edward says something, but I don’t respond. I blink, looking at my mirror.
“I’ll head over now, okay? You sound out of sorts.” I start to protest, but he’s gone. I look at my phone and the screen’s gone black.
I run to the kitchen and get the Windex. I scrub away the letters before anyone else can see them. I pick up my make-up and put it away, but one tube of lipstick is missing. The one that was used to write on the mirror is gone. I can’t think about it. I need Cole. My mind feels like its floating in glue and doesn’t want to think. My thoughts are sluggish. The shakes calm down to a small tremor. I fold my arms over my chest to hide it.
I pace the apartment, looking for signs of entry, but there is nothing. Just the hole in the old chimney. That fireplace was part of the reason why we chose this apartment. Although it doesn’t work, the hearth is really cute. I stare at the busted up wood and the door buzzes.
