by H. M. Ward
I check to make sure it’s Edward first, and then let him in. His dark hair is wet like he just took a shower. He’s wearing jeans with a cream colored shirt that’s tucked in neatly at his waist. He looks me over once. “What’s the matter?”
His question makes me want to cry, but I can’t say it. It sounds stupid. I’m crying because there was a nasty word on my mirror. I’m crying because I’m not a whore, but someone thinks I am. Biting my bottom lip, I shake my head and don’t look him in the eye. “Nothing’s wrong, just frazzled. That raccoon scared the hell out of me. I need to finish getting ready. Maybe you can seal up the fireplace? It looks like he came in that way.” Lies, lies, lies. The pit of my stomach twists. I hate lying.
Edward nods and walks away from me, into the living room. I return to my bedroom and feel a little bit better since I’m not alone. I hear Edward moving things and then the sound of wood snapping as he cleans up.
I pull the heated flat iron through my hair, careful not to burn myself. When I finish, I look like a different person. I put on a different outfit than I originally intended. I grab a pair of black leather pants and a tight tank. I put my make-up on darker than usual, trying to hide the fear in my eyes. I don’t want this to ruin my night with Cole. He already has too much on his plate, and in comparison, this seems silly.
Edward wraps his knuckles on my open door. He stands in the open doorway watching me as I apply a coat of mascara. “It’s boarded up.”
“Thanks,” I say, trying not to stab myself in the eye. I hold the wand and glance at him, “Do you mind hanging out until Emma gets here?” I look at the mirror and carefully brush my lashes with the black goop. My hand shakes slightly. I rest it on the dresser and take a breath. Why can’t I calm down?
Edward leans against the door frame and folds his arms over his chest. I can tell that he isn’t going to cooperate unless he knows what’s going on. “What’s this about, Anna? I can tell something’s bothering you. Just tell me. Maybe I can fix it.” His eyes burn a hole in the side of my face. He hated it when I wore makeup when we were dating. He likes that au natural thing going on.
“I don’t want to get into it now, Edward.” I finish and put the make up back in my drawer. I turn to him and say, “Please, do this?”
Edward nods once, but his eyes don’t leave mine. I feel a chill work its way through my body. He never had sex with me and he’s watching me get dressed to have sex with someone else. The way he looks me over makes me nervous, but then again, everything makes me nervous right now. I go to brush past him, when he gently takes me by the elbow and stops me. I turn toward him.
“You’d tell me if you were in trouble, right?” he asks. “We may not be lovers anymore, but I hope you still think of me as a friend.”
Breathing slowly, I feel his fingers on my arm. The contact feels wrong. I turn toward him so his fingers slip away. I want to say that we were never lovers, but I know where he wants this conversation to go, and I don’t want to rehash the past. I want to get to Cole and stay with him until all my apprehension fades away.
I smile and say, “Of course, I do. Like you even need to ask that, Edward? I could have called anyone, but I called you.”
I walk down the hall and grab my helmet. Strapping it under my chin quickly, I grab my keys. Edward speaks as I get ready to go. His eyes are downcast, making him look vulnerable. “You only called me because I’m Em’s brother. If it was just you here, alone, we both know who you would have called.” He means Cole.
“But I didn’t. I called you. You’re here now. And I could have called him anyway, but I didn’t.”
Edward looks at me funny, his head tilting slightly, “You didn’t tell him?”
“Tell him what? That a rabid animal tried to take a bath with me? No. It seems more embarrassing than anything.”
“What else happened, Anna? I can see it in your eyes.” He steps towards me and my heart ricochets off my ribs. I can’t talk about it. I squirm away from him.
“Someone got in, okay. I don’t want to talk about it, but I can’t let Emma come home and find a pervert in her room.”
“Someone broke in?” he asks, his eyes narrowing as he shakes his head. “Anna, did you call the cops?” I shake my head. Edward looks at me, things finally clicking into place. “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”
“I told you,” I bit back. It feels like I ate a can of nails. I can’t stand the way he’s looking at me. I can’t stand the way I feel, like my heart is going to explode at any moment. Just talking about it makes everything worse. “Just watch out for Em.” I turn toward the door and place my hand on the knob.
Edward shakes his head and follows me to the door. “Fine, fine,” he says reassuringly. “I’ll be here when Em gets home, but I’ve got to tell you that you’re a real piece of work.”
“Right back at ya.”
CHAPTER 3
I pick at a tomato on my plate. We’re sitting in Cole’s apartment. When I arrived he greeted me with the sexiest grin I’ve ever seen. “I didn’t think you were into that,” he says, eyeing my outfit.
I smile back, but I’m still nervous. When I pulled my bike out the parking garage, I got spooked. My neck prickled and I’m to the point that I’m ready to jump out of my skin. The thing is, I don’t know how to tell him. Cole is great, and it’s not that he won’t understand, it’s more that he’ll over-react. Saying what happened out loud makes the whole stalker thing real, although if I think about it at all, the lipstick letters on my mirror already did that.
We’re sitting at his table, which is made from some exotic dark wood. I lean back in my chair and look up at him. “I had something weird happen today.”
“Tell me about it.” Cole grins at me. He expects a wild story and he’s going to get one. My stomach twists as I think about telling him and a lump forms in my throat. The smile slips from his lips. Cole leans forward and takes my hand. “What’s wrong?” It’s a command. I can see it in his eyes.
I don’t want to wriggle out of telling him, but it feels wrong to tell. Maybe I’m stupid, yes, that’s it—I’m a class A, completely insane idiot. I have to tell someone. Worry pinches my throat tight. What if he doesn’t believe me? What if he thinks it’s nothing? Stop it, Anna! Just tell him. I suck in air and dive into my story starting with the bathtub and ending with James flushing the raccoon out the front door. Cole’s eyes widen as I tell it, but he doesn’t laugh. He hears my voice hitch and become smaller, more strained as the story goes on.
“And then what?” His blue eyes lock with mine.
I can’t look away and the feeling climbing up my throat won’t subdue. It’s raw fear. I try to keep it out of my voice when I speak, but I can’t. I lick my lips and take a breath. “When I got to my room, I noticed that someone had been there. They took my lipstick and wrote something on my mirror.”
Cole’s body tenses. Every muscle in his strong arms twitches. He’s no longer eating. Cole looks at me, his lips parted slightly. His fingers ball into fists. He’s fighting back the reaction he wants to have. Fury. “What was written on the mirror, Anna?” His voice is soft. It’s the opposite of his body.
My lips are sealed shut. I can’t speak. My voice won’t come. My lips won’t move. Cole comes around the table and pulls me into his arms. I start to sob into his shoulder. He pats my head and I manage to blubber out, “Whore. He wrote ‘whore’ on my mirror with my lipstick. The tube is gone. He took it.”
Cole says soothing things that don’t register. He holds me tight and the crushing fear that I felt all day cracks and falls away. He pulls me from the embrace and holds me at arms-length for a moment, trying to see my face. Looking into my eyes, he says, “You didn’t see anyone? Hear anyone?”
I shake my head. “No. At first, I thought there was a person at the bathroom door, not an animal. I saw shadows and thought they were feet. Then I open the door and it’s a raccoon. I was convinced that I was going nuts, that it was just an animal in the apartmen
t, until I saw the mirror.” My eyes are glassy, but I’ve stopped crying. “I asked James if he saw anyone leave, but he didn’t.”
“The apartment was locked up?”
I nod. “It’s not like it’s Ft. Knox, but I’m pretty sure everything was locked.”
“Is there anything else missing? Or out of place?”
I nod slowly, feeling the realization creepy up my throat like bony fingers. “A pair of panties is missing.”
Cole just stares at me. His nostrils flare and he blinks. “When? When did all this start?”
I pull away from him and slip off his lap. I have to stand. Nervous energy floods my body and I start to pace. His eyes trail my movements and his arms fold over his chest. I try to swallow again, but it hurts. My mouth is too dry. “I don’t know. I felt like someone was following me, but there was never anyone there. And then I thought it was you—”
“Me?” he says shocked.
“Yeah, you said you were following me around, trying to talk to me. I assumed that you were following me.”
“Anna, I never followed you like that.” Cole runs his hands through his hair. “Shit. I can’t believe someone is doing this to you. I went to places where I knew you’d be. I never stalked you. This is a fucking stalker and he’s gotten into your house.” Cole pauses a beat and lifts his eyes to meet mine. “Does Emma know?”
I nod. “Yes, well, sort of. I felt weird telling anyone. I mean all that stuff in the beginning was just a feeling. No one was there, and I figured that I just lost the panties, but then today...” I shake my head and my eyes sting with tears. I blink them away and rub my eyes with my hand. “I called her brother over so she wasn’t there alone after dark. I left her a message on her phone. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet.”
“You told her brother?” Cole asks. “You told him that someone was in the apartment?” I nod again, trying to remember exactly what I said. The day had that white haze over it, like it was a memory from a long time ago. The part with the bathtub and the raccoon is vivid, but the rest grows fuzzy fast.
“I told him that it wasn’t safe for Em there alone. I asked him to stay the night and didn’t really say why. He promised he’d stay.”
“You need to tell her,” Cole says. His eyes lock with mine. I’m standing in front of him with my arms wrapped tightly around my middle. I hate feeling like this and talking about it makes it worse. Cole asks, “Who do you think it is?”
“I don’t know,” I answer, and close my eyes. I press my fingers to my temples and glance up at Cole as I speak. “For a second I thought it was James. He was there when I was screaming, but he was on the other side of the door. James doesn’t have a key and the door was locked. If he got in, I don’t know how.
“And that doesn’t make any sense anyway. The kid’s in school. He’d have to be cutting and ditching curfew to show up at the times when I’ve felt spooked.” Goosebumps spring up on my arms. I try to rub them away. Cole steps toward me and pulls me to his chest.
“It’ll be okay. You stay with me,” he kisses my head and holds me.
“Cole, I can’t.” I look up at him, not wanting to mention it. “Sottero wants to take everything you have. If you don’t fight back… you’ll have no home. Besides, whoever this is will just come at me when you aren’t around. I’d file a police report, but what am I supposed to say? I don’t have a description or a name. I don’t have anything.”
Cole looks like I kicked him in the stomach when I mention the lawsuit. He turns from me and sits down at the table. He works his jaw and is quiet for a while. I walk to the kitchen and grab a bottle of wine and open it. After pouring two glasses, I return to the table and offer him one. I chug mine like it’s a shot.
Cole looks at me and I know something’s changed. His back straightens. Cole stands and says, “I need to make a phone call.”
Cole disappears from the room. I hear his voice, but can’t hear his words. I don’t know what he’s doing or who he’s talking to. Tonight was supposed to be a night of passion, a night of sticky sex, and sultry smiles. Instead, I’m spending it recanting how my day went to hell and that some nutjob thinks I’m a whore. I down another glass of wine and lean my head on my hand. In a moment, my body feels warm as the wine works its way through me. The fear that’s been coiled in my throat all day lessens.
Cole reappears and drops his phone on the table. He walks toward me and never takes his eyes off my face. Cole slips his hands around my waist and pulls me to my feet. Running his fingers through my straight hair he says, “I’ll protect you. I promise. Nothing will happen to you.”
I nod. He watches me for a moment and something shifts. I feel safe with him. I know I am. It doesn’t make sense to be so scared and then feel so frisky, but I do. I want him. I want his hands on me. I want him to hold me. I don’t care what kind of kinky stuff he had planned for tonight. I want to show him that I love him. I want things to be soft.
I thread my fingers through his hair. They graze across his cheek as I do, feeling the stubble under my skin. He leans his head toward mine, and I feel his mouth on my lips. Cole kisses me lightly, like I might break. His tongue sweeps across the seam of my lips and I part them for him. The kiss deepens. It becomes hotter and possessive. Cole’s hands slip over my body, pulling me to him, claiming that I’m his.
I moan into his mouth and press my chest against him. His hands are on my back, drifting lower, feeling my curves. When he grabs on tight and pulls me up, I crash into his mouth and the kiss changes. Instead of being light, his tongue strokes my mouth like he’ll die if I pull away. His lips smash down on mine. His fingers tangle in my hair and pull gently, tilting my head back and opening my mouth more. When his lips drift to my neck, I can’t stand. I feel my knees give out and he catches me in his arms.
Without a word, Cole sweeps me up in his arms and carries me to his bed. He places me gently on the covers and looks down at me. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
I smile softly at him. “What happens if I say that I’m not so sure?” I feel uncertain, like my life is spinning out of control. I don’t know who I am any more. I don’t understand why someone is stalking me or what they want, and the red letters burn behind my eyelids every time I blink. I pretend that it didn’t bother me, at least I try, but there’s a twisting inside my stomach that doesn’t quiet. It chokes me. I tangle my fingers together as I look at him.
Cole sees the worry in my eyes. He winks at me and turns away like he’s decided something. Curiosity flames through me and I sit up. Cole takes something from behind his dresser. They’re large prints in a black Le Femme box. “These will change your mind.” His voice is soft.
“What is that?” I cross my leather-clad legs on the bed and sit up. Cole walks back to the bed and sits across from me.
He hands me the box and says, “See for yourself.”
I lift the lid and set it down on the bed next to me. Tissue paper is folded over the contents. I push the thin papers back, parting the thin sheets until I see the photographs. My hand stills as I recognize the model. I glance up at him, “These are from that day…?”
He nods. “Yes, and if there is any doubt in your mind about how incredibly seductive, alluring, or sexual you are after seeing those, well, I’ll just have to take more.” Cole grins wickedly.
I react wrong. I feel it coming and I know it’s the wrong response, but I can’t stop it. Instead of feeling better, tears well up in my eyes and spill down my cheeks. I suck in air so fast that I choke. Cole shifts so that he’s sitting next to me, his gaze rapidly sweeping my face trying to figure out why I’m crying. I hold the picture in my hands, trembling. It’s beautiful. The trail of crystals that draped my body, the way he posed me, the light and shadows…
I rasp in a jagged breath and try to stop acting like a lunatic. “These are beautiful.”
Cole takes his hand and rubs my back as I look at the portrait. He kisses a tear from my cheek and whispers in my ear, “You�
�re amazing, Anna. You stun me into silence, and it’s not just because of any one thing. It’s you. It’s who you are, everything from your sharp wit, to your amazing eyes, to the way you wear those pants like they’re jeans—which they’re not by the way—you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” His eyes are on the side of my face as he speaks. I can’t turn. I’ll explode into a ball of tears. As he says these things, a smile spreads across my face.
I look at one image, and then the next. I say nothing for a while, just gazing at his creations, seeing me how he sees me. The images that were painted with light showcase every curve. The stones glitter in the darkness, giving the impression of my curves that remain unseen. A pale violet light rims my waist and hips, trailing up to my breasts, and spilling onto my neck. My face is turned toward the light source, and unlike his old work, my eyes are prominent. There’s a look on my face that I wish I could conceal. It makes me feel completely naked, as if being stripped wasn’t enough. I feel like he’s captured my soul.
“It’s perfect,” I finally say.
Cole is watching me, his blue gaze never leaving my face. He drinks in the look in my eyes, the way they devour the picture and take in every tiny detail. “So are you.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. It’s a gentle kiss, chaste even.
I smile in response when he pulls away. Glancing at him, I say, “I’m glad we met. I’m glad you interviewed me and not someone else. I’m glad I wore that hideous outfit and insulted you. If I hadn’t, none of this would have happened. I—”
Cole doesn’t let me say anything else. He takes the box from my hands and sets it on the dresser before leaning in and pressing his lips to mine.
The last few times we were together, everything felt hot to the point of combustion. This time it is different. Cole’s kiss is soft and perfect. He makes no attempt to watch me the way he did last time. He stays with me, kissing my mouth like he’s searching for something, like I’m the one he needs, the one he wants. His hands slip over my body, feeling each curve as we lay back on his bed. I reach my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers in his hair, losing myself in the kiss. It’s a good kiss. There’s no other word for it. There are kisses that burn with lust and then there are others that are sweet. This one is both. It burns, but it doesn’t make me crazy. Lust doesn’t surge through my veins, something else does, but I’m not entirely certain what.
