‘Come on now, Howard, play nice.’ Brad pushes between us and loops his arm through mine, guiding me the rest of the way down the stairs. I can feel Howard’s eyes boring a hole in my back the whole way down.
‘What’s his problem?’ I ask as we turn the corner at the bottom.
Brad just shakes his head. ‘Another time,’ he whispers.
Jared comes into view then. He looks breathtaking as the sun streams through the windows, and he leans one arm above his head against the side of the French doors. Brad leaves my side, and I go to Jared. He doesn’t turn, but he knows I’m there. His body reacts in much the same way as mine does in his presence. I slip my arms around his waist and hold him, my face to his back. I really have it bad. In the short time I’ve been gone, I hadn’t realised until now just how much I missed him. And at that moment I would be happy never to leave his side again.
His hands rest on mine at his waist. I kiss his shoulder blade. He still doesn’t turn. I look on at the view he’s so taken with. The woods around their home are beautiful and inviting. I can see why they choose to live here. It looks beautiful as the sun begins to set. The trees are so tall and dense and so green, even at this time of year. I would have expected the leaves to be sparse but instead, the forest is bold and full of life. Beautiful. We’re alone in a kind of sitting room I think. There are bookshelves filled with beautiful looking books, of all different kinds, and a red wing-backed leather chair sitting not far from where Jared and I are standing. Around the room, are other chairs of similar likeness and in the centre of the room a really large coffee table made from solid wood, which looks like it's seen many years of service. I move from Jared to look at the bookshelves, wondering if I’ll find anything of interest. The books are sorted by genre and then sorted by author and size where possible. I lose myself there for a while before I notice Jared, now studying me, from where he stands. I smile at being caught enjoying one of my favourite things in life. His lips quirk in a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. There’s something wrong.
‘What’s wrong?’ I move back toward him. He takes a deep breath and moves to sit in the chair. And still, he doesn’t speak. ‘Jared?’ He looks at me, and I can see the pain in his eyes. ‘Jared, please?’ He scrubs at his face. Something I was learning he did when he was nervous or unsure.
‘My father has been in touch.’ His tone makes my heart sink. It’s defeated. Oh, fuck.
‘Tell me?’ He looks into my eyes, and I want to crawl inside myself because I know what’s coming. This is about me. This is what Howard meant. I stumble backwards and fall on my ass. He’s picking me up before I even realise I’ve hit the floor. He holds me tight.
‘It’s okay,’ he says, but it isn’t.
‘Jared, what’s happened?’ He takes another deep breath as he lifts me up into his arms and squeezes me so tight I think my ribs may pop. He’s stalling. I pull away.
‘Jared?’ I snap so impatiently my own tone shocks me. He wears a pained look that I hate to see in his eyes.
‘Do you have to stay? Here I mean?’
Oh, my God. I hadn’t expected that. My heart breaks right there in front of him. But I steel myself against the pain. And put on my best snarky fuck-you voice. ‘No, I don’t, I’ll get my things.’ I make to walk away. But he grabs my arm pulling me into him.
‘Devon, shit. I didn’t mean it like that. Fuckin’ hell. Come here.’
I fall into his offered embrace. Desperate for him, and I hold back my sob.
‘We’ll leave together, go elsewhere, the problem is I don’t know where yet.’ I realise exactly what he’s telling me then.
‘Jared, why? What has your father said?’ This can’t be happening? I can’t be responsible for him leaving his pack. ‘Tell me why we have to leave—is it because of me?’ He takes a deep breath and sighs.
‘As the alpha, he’s told me that I either obey his orders or I’ll be cast out.’ My gasp is answer enough. I have no words. His own son! He’s going to cast out his own son. I’m angry. At that moment I want to rip into him, to tell him what I think of him. How dare he treat his own son this way? What kind of father is he? The shitface bastard.
‘He’d do that to you? His own son?’
He nods. ‘The pack comes first. We can leave together, but we go today. He’s only given me until tomorrow night to make the right decision before he makes it for me. I’m not sticking around for that.’ he spits. Oh shit. My eyes are wide, and I think I forget to blink.
‘He knows what I am. Is that why?’ Jared shakes his head, but he doesn’t answer my question.
‘Devon, just think about what I’m asking of you for a minute! I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want okay? You need to know that going nomad isn’t easy. It will be real fuckin’ hard, but we’ll be together. Think on that for a while. I’ll be right back. I just have a couple of things I need to do.’ I nod. I did know. That’s what my dad and I had done my whole life. It was really hard, never staying in one place for too long.
He leaves the room, leaving me standing and gaping open-mouthed at the forest outside. How had this day gone from waking in the woods and being so happy, to this, in a matter of hours? I didn’t need time to clear my head or think things through, there was only one option, and that was Jared, he had to come first. He either left with me and lost his pack, his station in it, and all he’s ever known. Or he let me go.
Decision made. I open the French doors, and without looking back, I leave him.
It breaks my heart, but I can’t allow Jared to leave everything behind. My life has been sheltered from it. I won’t be losing anything. I will only gain. But he will be losing a whole way of life just to have me. I can’t let him do that, not for me. I’m running blind—the tears so thick and fast I have no way to tell where I’m going. The sobs wrack through me. I’m a mess, but I have to keep going. I need to get distance from him. I briefly prop myself up against a tree. I have no idea how long I’ve been running, but my chest is hurting so much, it feels like I have a fire inside. I take some heaving breaths and swipe at my face, clearing my eyes for only a second before more tears replace them. I want to run back to Jared and tell him that I’ve made a huge mistake. I want to run away with him and tell him that all will be okay. But I don’t want that for him. It’s selfish. I will not let him do that for me. The forest has become dark now, and I’m still no closer to a road. I have no clue of which direction I need to go. I have to get a grip, or I won’t be able to change.
I hear voices in the distance. People shouting my name. I listen hard and run in the opposite direction. Crying so hard has hindered any chance of using my sense of smell, so I rely solely on my hearing and sight, which are also at a disadvantage because I haven’t managed to rein back the tears. I know they will follow my scent easily, so I know I have to stay well ahead of them until I have the opportunity to jump in a cab or take some other escape route that presents itself.
I stop and listen every so often, the shouts getting further away. I run flat out, my body aching for the change, it’s screaming that I can go faster, listen harder, as a wolf. But I don’t have time to change now, and I can’t afford to leave my clothes behind. Stopping to listen, I finally catch the sound of what could be a road. I climb the branches of an oak tree so I can check on my direction. I stumble and trap my leg between two sharp branches, and manage to cut the palm of my hand while trying to pull my leg free. I have a gash on my leg, and it stings like a bitch. I jump down and make my way toward the road. I tear the bottom of my t-shirt and wrap it around my hand to stem the bleeding. There isn’t much I can do about my leg except try and walk it off. Finally, I can see the road through the trees. The relief of finally arriving there overawes me. I limp towards the bush separating me from it, and start to push my way through, but I’m grabbed and pulled through by strong and all too familiar hands.
‘Get off me!’
Howard’s grip on my shoulders doesn’t ease up. He yells for the others to come
.
‘You told me to go?’ I growl out. ‘You told me to leave him alone?’
‘Not like that. Are you an idiot? Did you think he wouldn’t track you down?’
I shake my head, staying where I am, sulking at being caught, and then Jared walks up. He’s understandably upset and angry. It radiates from him. Howard walks away and leaves us both alone, and I scowl at his back. I know I’m going to have to explain myself and not sure how to start. Jared doesn’t speak at first. He props himself up against a tree just glaring at me. I feel about six inches tall. His face—stony and annoyed, speaks a thousand words.
‘It’s not what you think,’ I start with the lame excuse.
‘Oh really, please fucking enlighten me?’ he spits with such sarcasm it makes me cringe.
‘Jared—’ He cuts me off
‘Just tell me one thing. Did you ever really want to be with me at all?’
I can’t speak for a second. Did he believe that?
‘Jared, I do want to be with you, more than anything, but it’s selfish, and I can’t let you sacrifice everything for me.’ I’m shaking. He doesn’t say anything, and the silence drags on. He covers his face with his hands. I’m aching for him to say something, anything. I go to him and take his hands in mine. ‘I’m sorry I ran, I just didn’t know what else to do, you were going to throw your whole life away.’ He grips my hands tighter then, painfully so.
‘Isn’t that my decision to make?’ he growls. ‘I’ve committed myself to you. I can’t change that. I can’t stop wanting you. I’ve marked you, and you keep fuckin’ running away.’ His voice cracks a little.
‘You threw me out remember? That wasn’t my doing. Don’t forget that!’ Anger bubbles up inside, and I prod at his chest. ‘Don’t you dare put that on me, Jared. Yes, I ran just now, but it was for your benefit, not mine.’ I’m on the verge of screaming. He grabs the hand I’m prodding him with.
‘I said I was fuckin’ sorry!’ he growls, pinning me to the tree. Then his lips are on mine. It isn’t a nice kiss. It’s a display of his dominance, but I don’t submit. I won’t be treated like that. I shove at his chest.
‘Don’t treat me like one of your bitches, Jared. I’m not a part of your pack.’ Shoving him aside, I stomp off.
‘Fuuuuck,’ he shouts, and I hear him coming after me. ‘Devon,’ he shouts before he catches me and spins me to face him.
‘What??’ I stomp my feet like a toddler and fold my arms. I look at him, eyebrows raised in question.
‘We’re not done—’ He takes my hand. ‘—We are at least going to talk about it.’
‘Jared, I won’t come between you and your family. You’re going to be the alpha of your pack. I may be naïve, Jared, but I think that’s pretty important.’ I carry on walking.
‘Devon, stop, just stop fuckin’ walking away!’ I do. ‘Come back to the house with me? Please.’ I owe him at least that.
‘Okay.’ He definitely wasn’t expecting me to agree. He stutters a little, but then clearly decides it best not to rock the boat and just takes my hand and leads me with him. He walks us through the forest, with no problem at all, unlike my bungled escape run, and it takes next to no time to get back to the house, proving what a complete idiot I had been. I follow him obediently. We don’t speak at all. We bypass everyone, and he takes me straight to his bedroom. It’s big. A huge wooden bed takes up one end of the room. There is an en-suite bathroom, and it has its own dressing room. It’s painted in black, white, and red. A real bachelor pad—the furniture is really tasteful, though. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, maybe flat pack furniture and beer cans. He catches me checking it out.
‘This isn’t how I planned to bring you to my room for the first time.’ He’s fidgety, and it’s obvious he doesn’t know what to do with himself. I sit on the edge of his bed as he paces in front of me. ‘Devon?’
I look everywhere but at him. I’m scared if I look into those green eyes I’ll be lost to him, and I’ll waiver. I need to stay strong and do this for him. He needs to see that it’s for the best.
‘Look at me?’
I obey just like that. I can’t help it when his voice takes on that tone. I’d do anything he asked of me. ‘I won’t let you leave me again.’
What do I say? I want him more than my next breath, but I want him to have a life. I don’t want him to be cast out and leave all he knows behind, just for me. I’m not worth that. He deserves to have a real life mate, one who can give him children, werewolf children, not mongrels like me. I’d had a really hard time growing up, and I’m only just understanding why. He knows nothing else but pack life, pack law, and pack community. I can’t give him any of that. I pull on the DIY bandage and fiddle with it.
‘Jared, I’m not right for you,’ I say on a hiccup, which turns into a sob. He growls from deep within his chest.
‘Tell me how you’re not right for me? Explain to me why I marked you the first time we slept together? Explain if you are not the one for me, how that happened? Because it doesn’t, it can’t, unless it’s meant to be.’
I’m stunned. My mouth moves, but no words come out. I look like an idiot with my mouth gaping. I didn’t know any of this. How are we wrong? It doesn’t feel wrong. It feels like everything clicks into place when I’m with him. It does feel like it’s meant to be. It’s outside influences that make me doubt it. It doesn’t come from me. It isn’t how I feel. He looks at me his eyes pleading, the anger now abated. He looks desperate. Broken. Hurt.
‘But I’m a mongrel,’ I whisper. For the first time in my life, I feel ashamed of what I am. I’m heartbroken. Jared kneels in front of me. He takes my hands from my face and holds them in his own. Tears roll down my cheeks.
‘Don’t ever say that again.’
‘It’s true.’
He shakes his head.
‘Who says so? You’re not a fuckin’ mongrel,’ he chastises, quietly but assertively, his voice both loving and calm.
‘Your father doesn’t want us together, Jared. We can’t just ignore that.’
‘Devon, he’ll come around eventually. He’ll have to unless he wants to lose me.’
‘And if he doesn’t?’
He shrugs his shoulders.
‘Then that’s his fucking loss.’
My phone begins an incessant buzzing in my bag that has somehow found its way to his room. I ignore it but it doesn’t stop and eventually Jared hands my bag to me, and I fish it out to find my dad calling from his cell. Weird he never uses it. I look to Jared in apology.
‘Go ahead.’
‘Dad?’
‘Devon. Thank God. I’ve been calling you for days now.’ Shit a brick. I haven’t spoken to him since our spat. ‘Did your roommate give you the message? I’ve been worried sick—where are you?’
‘Whoa, slow down. I’m fine. I’ve just been really busy and had a lot to think about, you know? I’m sorry I didn’t call you back.’ I can hear lots of people in the background and a woman speaking over a tannoy system. It sounds a lot like an airport. ‘Are you going on a trip?’
‘Err, actually I’ve just landed. I was so worried, and I couldn’t just sit at home. I thought something bad had happened.’ Oh, shit on a stick.
‘You’re here?’
Jared’s pacing again.
‘Yeah, I just landed, and I have a reservation at a hotel not far from where you live.’
‘It really isn’t necessary, dad. I’m fine. You can get on a flight back home.’
‘I didn’t travel all this way for nothing, Devon. I at least want to see you—to speak to you face-to-face, about, well, everything.’
‘About me being a mongrel?’ I snap. I hadn’t realised just how angry I still felt with him. But the fact that Jared was pacing before me—making life-changing decisions about something he should never have to do all because of my parents’ selfishness just accentuated my anger.
‘Devon Hathoway. Don’t you dare say that.’ I laugh and use as much s
arcasm as I can muster.
‘Why dad? It’s true. I’m just saying it like it is.’
‘It is not!’
‘You know what, I’m over it. I’ll call you tomorrow.’ I disconnect the call. Jared gapes at me like I’m some kind of alien. ‘What?’ I snap, his eyes widen, and he shakes his head.
‘Seriously? Your dad has flown half way across the world because he’s worried about you.’
‘SO?’
‘And you don’t think maybe you were a little harsh?’ That gets my back up.
‘Harsh was when he decided he would bring me up in an all-human world. Make me hide who and what I am—making me believe all was normal in my world. And then he ships me off half way across the globe after never allowing me any sort of freedom whatsoever, throws me into a situation where I finally meet someone like me, and then I find out we can’t—shouldn’t be together! Because of my parents. He lied to me—that’s harsh!’
I’m ranting. I’m so flipping angry. At my dad, Jared, and at myself. I throw myself onto his bed, pushing my face into his pillow and I scream it out. He strokes my back—it’s soothing and just what I need. I relax into his deft hands. Between his father and mine, I’ve had enough. I’m so tense. I rarely feel like this so soon after a change. His hands go from soothing to firm, as he starts kneading the knots in my shoulders.
‘Mmmmm that’s good,’ I mumble. He chuckles and it makes me tingle inside.
‘How about just for tonight we forget about everything? About everyone else? Huh?’ I make an attempt at nodding. ‘I’ll take that as a yes?’
‘Mmm hmm,’ is about all I’m capable of. His expert hands are working miracles. He removes my t-shirt without me even getting up off of the bed, and he unclasps my bra and works my whole back. I’m sleepy and so relaxed. I feel his lips touch my shoulder blade. They’re so soft and warm as they glide up my neck and back down again. He kisses down my spine, the small butterfly-like touches sending shivers right to my core. His hands go to my hips and around to my stomach, where he undoes my pants and wiggles them down my legs, with no help from me. My panties are next—he stops when he gets to them. I think waiting to see if I’ll protest. I don’t. Obviously.
Forbidden Love (Stone Pack Book 1) Page 9
