Forbidden Love (Stone Pack Book 1)

by Harper Phoenix

  ‘Mmmkay,’ I mumble. I get up on shaky legs. I actually feel like a train wreck. My body hurts everywhere. Who knew this shit could have a physical effect on your body. I shower and feel a little bit better for it. But I have the worst headache, and I feel like crawling right back into bed. Maiya has other ideas though. Handing me clothes, she lifts her brows, daring me to argue.

  ‘So I took the liberty of switching your damn phone off,’ she says handing it to me ‘I hope you don’t mind. I thought you could use the sleep, and since it never stopped with the constant ringing, well it was pissing me off. I mean who the fuck rings constantly for hours? At night?’

  I shrug. ‘I guess I’ll find out.’ I turn it on and wait. A minute passes before it pings so frequently it’s like one continual drone. I have a hundred and forty-three messages and a hundred and twenty-seven voice mails. All but one is from Jared. But he hadn’t come over. That says it all really. He’s too busy with his fiancé, mate, or whatever the fuck she is. He clearly thinks a phone call will suffice after stringing me along in his little game. I’m such an idiot. I switch my phone back off, get dressed, not caring what I wear. Maiya manages to make me look half decent with her choice of outfit though, so I’m not a complete wreck. We go to the student café, but I can’t eat, and I barely touch my coffee either. I’m so grateful for Maiya right now. Without her, I would be completely alone. She's proven to be a great friend in such a short space of time.

  ‘You’re a star, Maiya. You know that? Thank you so much for putting up with me. I know I must be driving you insane right now.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Men are dicks, and we have to stick together—that’s what friends do. Hoes over bros.’ She laughs, snorting at her own joke. Maiya begs me to stay out and keep busy for the rest of the day but honestly I don’t feel like going anywhere, so after classes, she comes back to the room with me. That night I just want to sit in and veg, wallowing in my own self-pity. I tell Maiya to go out, but she is a total legend and brings in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream and instead of heading to the club, she gets her pj’s on and watches crap TV on my laptop with me. We giggle and chat about anything and everything, and I go to sleep feeling a little easier.

  Forty-eight hours post Jared. I still feel crushed. I decide to try and make an effort, just for Maiya’s sake. So I drag my ass up to get ready for class. From the bathroom, I hear a knock at the door. Well, I say a knock, it’s more like someone is beating the door down. I’m halfway through brushing my teeth when Maiya opens up. His scent hits me immediately, and I feel sick. I want to see him. I’m desperate, like an addict who can’t stay away.

  ‘Devon isn’t here, asshole, now fuck the hell off.’ I hear her squeak and know he’s pushed his way through the door and past her. Maiya is hollering all kinds of obscenities, but he’s clearly ignoring her. It’s time to face the music. I open the bathroom door. Maiya is looking dismayed and upset. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mouths at me. I shake my head and place a hand on her shoulder to reassure her it’s okay. I can do this, I tell myself.

  ‘It’s okay.’ I smile.

  ‘You want me to stick around?’ she asks while glaring daggers at Jared. I shake my head. Jared is glaring at me, burning a hole into me. He is so difficult to look at in his denim shirt and black muscle-hugging jeans. I don’t make eye contact until Maiya leaves the room. Jared sits on my bed. His fists clenched on his thighs. His jaw is twitching as he clenches and unclenches it. I sit opposite and put my poker face to good use. He still hasn’t uttered a word. I face him, and our eyes finally meet. And I am gutted all over again. We sit in silence. I wait him out. I want to hear what he has to say. If he’s even going to tell me? It feels like hours before he finally growls something out through gritted teeth. I look up at him confused.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I said why the fuck haven’t you been taking my calls?’ He’s mad, like really fucking mad. At me. Ha. Well, that makes two of us.

  ‘How about you tell me. JARED?’ I sneer at him, my lip curling up as my anger takes hold.

  He stands and before I know it, he’s kneeling in front of me, his hands gripping my face. Our eyes meet, and at that moment I want him and hate him all at once. I want to scream and shout at him. I want to beat his beautiful head in, and I want to kiss him within an inch of my life. I’m so messed up it’s crazy.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he starts. All his anger has abated, and his words drip with sympathy. And I want to do is plug my ears and shout ‘lalalalalalalala’. I don’t want to listen. I don’t want to hear that he doesn’t want me. ‘Baby, listen to me. I had to go home real quick. There was an accident, and I was needed.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I tried to call you as I was leaving. I text you. Fuck, I even rang the dorm security. I came back because I was fucking worried out of my damn mind.’ He pushes his hands through his hair in frustration.

  ‘Why?’ I ask him honestly. I mean why bother? Why not just cut me loose? His jaw clenches again as he looks at me,

  ‘Why? The fuck? WHY?’ His tone is angry, but he’s stuttering his sentence as if he’s trying and failing to hold back his words. His face is all scrunched up like he can’t understand what I’m saying to him. It’s really quite simple. He paces in front of me. I don’t look at him. I can’t, I’m waging a war inside my own head right now and looking at him will throw me over the edge.

  ‘Give me one fucking reason why I shouldn’t have worried? Why I shouldn’t have come back?’ I don’t answer. I just sit there because what I want to say is on the tip of my tongue, but it makes me sick to the stomach to think of it, let alone say it out loud.

  ‘You know what, Jared, just go,’ I plead. ‘I don’t even know why you bothered to come. If there really was an accident, I’m sorry. But if this is some kind of play in your game of ‘let’s head fuck Devon’ then know that I’m done.’ I put my hands up in surrender, my eyes blurring with the tears. Jared grabs my wrists and pushes me up against the wall, hands above my head, pinned. He crowds into my space, his nose a whisker from mine. His eyes aglow with anger and lust.

  ‘What the fuck did you just say to me?’ My legs are like jelly, and my head is pounding. I’m done. I can’t—won’t—do this to myself anymore.

  ‘I said, I’m. DONE.’ I enunciate each word, so there’s no question. His jaw clenches and an eternity passes while his eyes bore a hole in mine.

  ‘You’re done? Just like that? No reason? No explanation, nothing? Just fucking done?’ I laugh. It sounds like a hiccup, and again the words won’t com., I can’t even say her name, without bile rising up. ‘No… You don’t get to say that to me. NO!’ He presses hard against my hands before he lets go and begins pacing the room again. How fucking dare he. He was supposed to be with me, but all the while he was there with her. Playing the happy couple. And he’s pissed because I’m done being second best? He needs to leave and not look back. I can’t do this again. I heave in a breath and before I know it the words spill out.

  ‘I came by the other day. I jumped in a cab when you didn’t reply to my text. I assumed it would be okay because why the hell wouldn’t it be okay for your girlfriend to stop by at your house right?’

  I have his attention. He stops pacing and folds his arms across his chest, his jaw clenched tight, holding back any words that may interrupt my tirade. ‘Right?’ I ask again, he nods. So we’re playing like that? ‘So you can imagine my shock when I walk up to the door to find you with your arms wrapped around her, as you kissed her.’ He frowns. Fucking frowns like he’s confused. That’s fucking it.

  ‘GET.OUT. NOW.’ I don’t even want to hear what he has to say. I can imagine what lies are going to come out of his mouth. His confusion morphs to anger as he thinks over what I saw, as he realises, then I see recognition dawn on his face. He knows what I saw.

  ‘Baby, you’re putting two and two together here and coming up with fucking five.’ Gaaaaahhhhh, Really?

  ‘No, Jared, I think you are put
ting one man with two women and coming up with ‘That’s okay by me’. Well, it’s not fucking okay by me!’ I scream at him as I walk over to the door and try and fail to open it fluidly like I had planned. Instead, I stumble and lose my grip on the handle before I manage to compose myself enough to open it correctly, and I gesture for him to walk the fuck through it. He doesn’t move a muscle. Shitballs.

  ‘Just a fuckin’ minute. You’re telling me you’ve got your knickers in a fucking knot over what you saw in the kitchen?’

  Knickers in a knot? What the hell?

  ‘I saw you kiss her, Jared. I fucking saw you,’ I scream but as I’m standing with the door open, I suddenly realise this is no longer private, so I slam the door again. I can just imagine everyone down the hall snickering behind their doors at the poor girl who isn’t enough for her boyfriend. I head into the bathroom, but he follows and fills the doorframe with his imposing, sexy, albeit angry, self. Look away. Look away now before your panties melt off. Jeez. Even in this sorry state, he has my body ready and willing. Get a grip.

  ‘What did you actually see that day? Hmm?’ If he thinks I’m going to lower myself to describing it. No way. Ugh ugh. He moves closer. I back all the way into the tiny room until I have nowhere else to go. ‘Answer me.’

  I close my eyes and suck my lips over my teeth, pressing them together in defiance like a toddler, shaking my head. ‘Okay, Devon, you won’t tell me what you think you saw—’

  ‘I know what I saw,’ I correct him.

  ‘I’ll tell you what you fuckin’ saw! We were all in the kitchen eating breakfast. My phone rang. It was my father. Calling to tell me there had been a car accident. That one of our pack had been killed. What you fucking saw was me breaking the news to Kristen that her uncle was dead.’ I’m stunned. I’d seen him being affectionate and kissing the top of her head. In my mind, it was two people embracing each other in a way a couple would. I hadn’t thought for a second that it would or could be anything else. Fuck me on a freight train. I’m a total bitch. One hundred percent fucking bitch-in-a-basket. I can’t look at him. I’m so ashamed of myself right now. I’d let the green-eyed monster get the better of me, and I let my thoughts blow what I saw out of proportion. If it had been anyone else, I would have walked in and asked what was wrong. But it was her. I feel sick. I’m relieved. How sick is that? I’m relieved someone died. What kind of person thinks that way?

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ I tell him. He runs his hands through his hair, blowing out a huge breath. He shakes his head and walks out of the bathroom. I follow. He turns to me, and his anger is shining brightly in his eyes.

  Jared

  ‘What are you sorry for Devon? That you accused me of cheating? That someone I care about died? Or that you had me so worried fuckin’ sick that I left while the arrangements for his funeral were being made?’

  Her face pales and she sinks to the floor, face in her hands. I hadn’t meant to say all that shit, but it comes rolling out like verbal diarrhoea. I want to cut my fucking tongue out as soon as the words are spoken. Instead, I just stand there. Not saying a goddamn thing. More than anything, I want her touch. I need it. But I’m so fucking mad at her I’m not sure I could be gentle. I’ve been outta my mind. Ringing her damn phone every second I could. Not able to give Garret the respect he deserved because I didn’t have my head in the game. I nearly left against my alphas orders twice, and finally left with him on board only because his threat to disown me didn’t work. I was leaving, no matter what. So he gave his permission. I knew damn well he gave it to save face.

  I was ready to be alpha and his orders over me were becoming less and less impossible to ignore. He was failing to bend my will. No, had failed to bend it. He knew it was time to step down. But he wanted me to follow his final order first. That was where we’d left things. I wasn’t going to push it while Garret's body was still warm. It wasn’t right. So I would face that argument another day.

  My female is on the floor in a heap sobbing. I need to make this right. I suck up my anger and pick her up, cradling her in my arms. Her tears smell like salt on her skin, and her arms come up around my neck. Thank fuck for that. I breathe her in, kissing her face, her eyes, her nose. I smooth her hair over and push it behind her ear. Finally, her eyes meet mine, and I’m done for. My dick has been at half-mast since I walked in. But now? Solid as steel behind my fly. Uncomfortably hard. My mouth finds hers, and I don't want to talk anymore. I don’t want to hear anything she has to say. I just want to feel. I want her to show me how she feels. No words necessary.

  It’s lunchtime when I finally let Devon get out of her bed. If she weren’t hungry, I would have kept her there all day. I needed our connection to stay strong, and being inside her seemed to cement that for me. My dick didn’t want to break for lunch. He seemed to want to be all up in there permanently. Which I was totally okay with—except I needed to feed her. So while she went and showered, I stayed in her bed. Otherwise, my dick would take over, and we’d never get any food.

  We still had shit to discuss. Shit, I really didn’t want to broach right now. Like why the fuck she didn’t trust me, and the fact that I need to go back home for Garret’s funeral. We have tonight though so I’ll address it later. Now, I just need to be with her—to show her that she’s it for me, and I need to make sure I’m it for her too. I feel like I can’t breathe without her. Like my body can’t physically function without her. It’s crazy, but I now know what being a bonded male feels like. My body sings when she’s near, and when I’m inside her, fuck me. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt with another female. It’s like having one long orgasm from the minute I slide inside her. Then when I do come. It's fucking euphoric. I hope to fuck she feels that too because, shit, when she told me she was done, it took all I had not to break down, get on my knees and beg like a fucking pussy, for her to change her mind. I need her. I want her to need me right back. I can’t handle anything less. Nothing else will cut it. So how the fuck, do I make her feel the same way? I know one hundred fucking percent that she’s all I want, and I won’t ever look at another female. Does she feel the same? Do I have to worry about other males? She doesn’t trust me. Is that because she doesn’t feel this bond? That she doesn’t need to be with me, near me? Fuck me. This shit is difficult. I’m all in. Every fucking last piece of me. Now she needs to get on the same page and fast.

  Devon

  Jared seems quiet over lunch. He’s brought me to a little American diner where they have all the classics. I’m in my food element as I order a second helping of fries after my burger and then a stack of pancakes too. I know I need to start a conversation about me stupidly accusing him of cheating. But how do I start? I mean I’ve said sorry a million times already, before, during, and after our makeup sex. But he’s still off. He keeps reaching for my hand in between mouthfuls. That has to be a good sign, right? I sigh. I just don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never had a relationship before, let alone felt anything as intense as this does. I want to tell him how I feel but the words just don’t come. And I’m scared. I don’t want to get hurt. I’m so worried that I’ll let him all the way in and then he’ll leave me because of his loyalty towards his pack. And I’ve not given him any reason to stay with me. I’ve left him and accused him of cheating. Oh, my God. I’m such an idiot.

  I brush the back of his hand with my fingers in a small circle. His eyes snap to mine, and I want to kiss him so badly. I shuffle closer to him—leaning across the table between us. He does the same. But he doesn’t close the distance like he normally does, nor does he take control. He leaves it all up to me. I need to let him know how I feel. This is how we work best. No words. As his mouth opens to mine, I want to climb across the table and crawl into his arms. I want to feel that connection thrum through my body. I want the feeling that only he gives me. Where the entire world around me falls away and only he remains for me. Him and me. Together. Our tongues are dancing to their own tune, and I’m vaguely aware of our surroundings, but
I don’t care. I feel him swipe the table and then his hands are under my armpits, and I’m crawling across the tabletop. Our kiss deepening still, I sit, straddling his lap. And I feel every inch of him beneath me. I want him. Now. Our food is completely forgotten. Only we exist in this bubble.

  That is until I hear a clearing of a throat and a quiet, ‘Excuse me.’ I pull back from Jared’s lips, but my eyes linger as his tongue swipes his bottom lip. I pull mine between my teeth and exhale through my nose. I can feel his arousal, and I think mine is pretty evident in the air because his nostrils flare and his eyes dilate ever so slightly. The waitress trying to get our attention is standing just in my peripheral vision with a coffee pot in her hand.

  ‘I’m sorry, but this is a family place, so umm, if you want to umm… Fornicate, you’ll have to leave.’

  ‘I’m sorry—’ I start to tell her as I climb off Jared’s knee. She has a huge grin on her face like she just got the gossip of the century.

  ‘We’re leaving,’ Jared says immediately cutting off my apology. He stands, lifting me all the way off him and dropping my feet to the floor. He throws some cash on the table and takes my hand, pulling me behind him. I look back at the waitress in her red dress and white checked pinafore. She has a grin so wide I can’t stop giggling. Jared pushes me up against the wall at the side of the building.

  ‘I need inside you,’ he mumbles against my lips as he laps at my mouth, willing me to open for him. He licks his way inside and our tongues tangle, vying against the other. This would be a beautiful moment if only we weren’t pushed up against a café wall in broad daylight.

  ‘Not here,’ I pant into his mouth. ‘Not for all to see.’

  ‘No. No one gets to see you come but me, I need to get you home, female, and I’m gonna fuck you until you’re so sore you can’t sit down without thinking about my dick inside of you.’ OMG Niagara just overflowed into panty territory. His lips clamp down over mine again as I melt into a hot mess and practically dry hump his leg. We fucked like rabbits not even an hour ago, and I’m riding his leg like a junky craving her next fix. How does he do this to me?