Dirty Cowboy

by Alycia Taylor

  After we were seated I ordered a beer and she asked for an ice water with lemon. The water came with no lemon. With a sour look on her face she said, “Um, I asked for lemon.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” the middle-aged waitress who looked like she was probably on her second shift said. “I’ll grab that for you right now.”

  “No.” Kristie said.

  “Excuse me? You don’t want the lemon after all?”

  “Oh yes, I want the lemon. I want it in my water the way I ordered it. I’m paying you for a service; I don’t expect to have to do it myself.”

  I sighed, loudly. I wanted the server to know that I didn’t approve of my date’s rudeness. The server looked embarrassed and took the glass of water. I still hadn’t gotten to order my steak.

  “Kristie, maybe if you were nicer to people…”

  “I’m nice. I’m nice when some minimum-wage, middle-aged ginger isn’t screwing up my order.”

  Kristie didn’t work. She called herself a model but the last job I know that she had was posing half-naked for the Harley dealership here in town. She was twenty one and still lived off of her Daddy’s money. She paid for her boob job last year with her “allowance”. I looked up and saw the server on her way back. Looking at Kristie I said, “Please be nice.” She rolled her eyes but when the woman sat the water down in front of her, Kristie gave her a fake, too-white smile and said, “Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome,” the waitress said. “Are y’all ready to order?”

  I could see by Kristie’s face she was working up a comment about the “Y’all” as soon as the server walked away. This was such a mistake. We ordered and as Kristie talked about God knows what; I let my eyes roam the restaurant. There were a lot of couples there and most of them looked happy. I thought about the night that Alexa and I went out to dinner and how it had just been fun and relaxed. Tonight was tense and annoying and we didn’t even have our food yet.

  “Oh look, it’s Travis Scott,” she said suddenly. I looked up and sure enough the homecoming king himself had just walked in. Travis Scott’s father owned most of the real estate in our town. Before my parents bought the house I grew up in, they had rented it from the Scotts. Travis was good-looking, rich and athletic. He was also one of the most arrogant assholes I’d ever met. Kristie didn’t go to high school with us. She had moved here with her dad just two years ago. I made the mistake of pointing Travis out one night when she and I first started going out. I don’t know if she ever actually slept with him, but there were times at some parties we went to that I thought she was about to give him head right there in front of me. “Hi Travis!” she said, waving her gold-bangled arm in the air. Travis was as fake as she was. As soon as he saw us, he pasted a big, fake smile on his face. In middle school he used to bully me.

  “Kristie, Ian, how good to see you.” Kristie was practically gushing as she said, “Oh you too, Travis. It’s been too long. What have you been up to?” I mumbled a hello, but I don’t think anyone noticed. That was okay though because as long as Travis was talking to her, I didn’t have to.

  “I’ve been out of state opening up another branch of the real estate firm for my father,” he said. “I travel extensively with this job.”

  “Oh I’m so jealous,” she said. “That’s the kind of job I want.”

  Travis smiled and said, “I thought you were a model.”

  “I am,” she said with a pouty lip, “but it’s a tough business to break into.”

  Travis ran his hand down her arm like I wasn’t even there as he said, “I’m sure you’ll find something soon. You look like you should be on the cover of SI.”

  Jeez…"“SI”…he was too cool to even say Sports Illustrated. Thankfully, the server brought our food then and Travis went away. I wished he would have taken Kristie with him when I heard her say, “What is this?”

  “Your salad ma’am…”

  “I specifically said, ‘dressing on the side.’ Ian, didn’t you hear me say it?” I had heard her say it, but I was in no mood to agree with her.

  “No, I don’t think you did,” I told her. She was looking at me when she was crazy. When she turned back to the waitress I gave the poor woman a wink and popped a bite of steak in my mouth.

  “I can’t eat this.”

  “I’m sorry; do you want a new one?”

  “Of course! And don’t think it will be okay just to scrape the dressing off the top either. If I taste one drop of oil or vinegar…”

  “Kristie! That’s enough. Just let her take back the damned salad and give it a rest.” She looked shocked. The waitress gave me an appreciative look and took the salad. When she was gone, Kristie said, “Honey, I know that you had a long day with your fight and all, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk to me that way, especially in front of people.”

  That was how she fought. She never raised her voice. The whole time we were together I would have given anything to have one good knock-down drag out fight where everyone said what they were really thinking…like the one I had with Alexa. “Then stop talking to people like they’re dirt,” I told her and I popped another piece of steak in my mouth. It was the only good thing about the evening. When dinner was over, I dropped Kristie back at her car.

  “You want me to drive my own car to your place?” she asked.

  “No Kristie, I’m going to go home and get some sleep. I’m exhausted.”

  “I don’t mind if we don’t have sex. I’ll just hold you…if you can stand it,” she said with what she thought was a seductive smile. I had a headache.

  “Not tonight, Kristie.”

  Not ever. Tonight had been a giant mistake. I wasn’t going to let it go any further. “Drive safe,” I told her. “See you around.” I drove away while she was still standing there gaping at me. I didn’t care. Hopefully she won’t start calling me again. There was only one person I wanted to talk to and only one woman I wanted in my bed. She was a ginger, as Kristie would say, and I missed the hell out of her.

  Chapter Eight

  Ian

  I went home after I dropped Kristie off, feeling bad all over again. I felt bad for asking her out when I was desperate for company. I never really wanted to see her. I wanted an escape and what I got was the same old miserable deal as I had gotten in the past. Only now, I had led her to believe that I wanted to pursue something with her again. The fact was I couldn’t imagine now why I had ever been with her in the first place, or why I had stayed with her so long. She was so superficial and vain and bitchy. If I was the waitress I would have dumped the salad on her head. I left the poor woman a fifty dollar tip. I hoped that made her night a little better.

  What I needed was to clear my head and decide what I really want. All I can think about is Alexa. Part of me is still pissed about how judgmental she was and part of me wants to call her and talk to her about it so she can see that I’m not that guy any longer. I wouldn’t even mind arguing with her a little bit. I like her spunk even though it pisses me off when it’s directed at me. It’s a lot better than that fake shit Kristie gives me. I loved just hanging out with her. We didn’t have to go anywhere or do anything. I loved when it was just her and me. The sex is…unbelievable, but it’s not even about that. I’ve never experienced before, missing someone the way I miss Alexa.

  I wonder sometimes if maybe the feeling is intensified because I’m missing my little sister so badly at the same time. Maybe I have my emotions all tangled up and being with Alexa seems so right because she’s such a strong connection to Emma. I’m not sure, but I do know that I need to figure it out because it was making me crazy. Did I actually want to be with someone who was holding things I did years ago against me? If I decided that I did, would she want to be with me? We’d only known each other a little over a month and we’d already had two fights. Those odds weren’t great either. The fact that we got together just after my sister and her best friend died caused a lot more stress than an ordinary new relationship would have,
so I had to factor that in too. I fell asleep that night with all of this on my mind and woke up the next day with a whopper of a headache. I suppose it could have come from Wreckin’ Ralph’s well-placed right cross to my temple…but I think it was more likely the other stuff.

  I forced myself out of bed and shook several Tylenol out into my hand. I washed it down with a protein drink and then after a quick shower, I headed to the gym. Maybe some exercise would clear my head. If it didn’t, maybe it would make me look like Wreckin’ Ralph when I grow up.

  I did my day one workout. Usually the day after a fight I rest and start my day one the next day but if I stayed home this morning there was going to be no rest. I started with the bench press and I did fifteen reps times two. I had a guy named Leonard spotting for me and he was chatty. Sometimes that annoyed the hell out of me, but today it was a nice distraction.

  “I got me a new truck,” he was saying.

  “Five…Oh yeah,” I grunted out, “Six…What did you get?”

  “I got a Ford F-450.”

  “Seven…Damn…Eight…Nice. Big truck…Nine.”

  “Yep and I put a six-inch lift on her,” he said.

  “Very nice…Ten…What…Color…Eleven…”

  “She’s a royal blue with a lot of chrome. She’s a beauty.”

  “Sweet…Twelve…I always wanted…Thirteen…a truck.”

  “You should get one. I’ve been going to your fights man, you’re awesome. You have to be making some good money, right?”

  “It’s okay…Fourteen…I’m saving up…Fifteen….”

  “For what?” He asked as I put the bar down.

  “You just never know what’s going to happen, you know. I don’t want to find myself unable to fight someday and broke, you know?”

  “True, smart kid.”

  Dumb kid who let himself be kicked out of school his sophomore year. If I’m ever not able to fight, the best I’ll be able to do in the job department is flipping burgers.

  “Yeah, I guess,” was all I said out loud. “Thanks for the help.”

  I finished my workout and stopped by to check on my mom and dad on the way home. Mom said that Dad went to work so I hoped that meant he was feeling better. Mom looked a little better. She wasn’t dropping and spilling things. She was knitting and watching an old movie on television…I guess that was a start. I made a run to the grocery store to make sure they had the basics and then I headed home.

  I was doing great until I was back home alone. Every time that happened lately I felt like the walls were closing in on me. It was weird, because I used to prefer being alone. Alexa was the first person I ever met that I actually wanted to see every day. In the past, even when I was in a relationship for a long time, I was good with a couple days a week.

  I spent the rest of that day obsessing and the next day was pretty much an exact duplicate. Finally on the third day after my disaster of a date with Kristie I called Alexa, pushing the button quickly before I could change my mind. She picked up on the second ring, “Hello?”

  “Hey.”

  “I’m glad you called. I’ve been thinking about calling you all week.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I went to your fight the other night. You were awesome.”

  My mind went to Kristie and I automatically began to sweat. It was stupid. I didn’t do anything wrong. “Oh yeah? Why didn’t you say hi?”

  “I didn’t think it was the time or place to talk to you. I wanted to apologize about that last night we were together. I don’t have any right to judge you. Everyone makes mistakes. I think my emotions are just on such high alert lately because of Emma.”

  “Yeah, mine too. I miss her like crazy. But thanks for the apology. I appreciate it.”

  “I mean it,” she said. “I’ve felt so bad since that night.”

  “You should have called me,” I told her.

  “Yeah, I should have. I’m stubborn like that.”

  “Can I see you?”

  “I’d like that,” she said. “When?”

  “Tomorrow afternoon? Maybe I can order a pizza and we can talk, watch a movie, play a game…whatever. I just want to see you.”

  “I want to see you too,” she said. “I’ll be there.”

  I hung up and mentally kicked myself for not calling sooner. Oh well, I finally have something real to look forward to. I couldn’t wait to see her.

  ******

  Chapter Nine

  Alexa

  I woke up early the morning after Ian called me with a smile on my face. The anticipation about seeing him later was balled up in my chest and coursed through my veins like a dose of nervous energy. It tingled through me like electric sparks and eventually gathered in my toes. Once I got out of bed, I couldn’t sit still. The house was spotless clean from my cleaning binge last week and there was nothing left to do…so I went out for a run. While I was out, I decided to run by Emma’s house and see her mom. Ian’s mom too, I suppose. It was weird, but I still just thought of them as Emma’s parents. Anyways, I’d been putting it off, but I had to do it. I knocked on the door twice and was about to leave before her mom pulled open the door. My heart hurt when I saw her. She looked like she had aged ten years in the past month. She was pale and her usually beautiful dark hair was un-styled and uncut and the gray was more plentiful now than the dark brown. Her eyes were rimmed with pink…probably from crying herself to sleep at night. I almost regretted coming until her face broke out in a smile and some of the old spark was there in her eyes.

  “Alexa! Hi honey! How are you?” She grabbed me up in a bear hug and when she let me go I said, “I’m good. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I was out for a run and I thought I’d just come by really quickly and say hello. Are you doing okay?”

  “Fine,” she said, “Oh Alexa! Come in honey! I’m sorry.” She led me into the living room. It was dark in there like my room had been for that entire week I was so depressed and mad at the sun. The house was really clean though. I could probably run a white glove over things and come back without a speck of dust. I wondered if that was what she’d been doing with her time.

  “The house looks really nice,” I said. It was for lack of anything better to say but I was surprised when she said, “Thank you. It’s all Ian. He comes by and cleans two or three times a week. I tell him not to, but it makes him feel better to help.” My heart swelled at that thought and at the same time I was angry at myself again for the assumptions I’d made about him. There was no way he was anything but a good man. Only a good man would take such good care of his family.

  “How is your husband doing?”

  “It’s up and down for us both, you know? He went to work today. That usually means it’s a good day for him. They let him make his own schedule since technically he’s retired already, so that’s nice too. When he’s having a bad day, he stays home and works in his shop.”

  “I know that feeling. Good days and bad days.”

  She looked lost for a second and then she said, “I don’t have many good ones. It’s so hard to know what to do…you know?”

  “I know. I wish I came here today with some words of wisdom, but I can barely function some days myself.”

  She nodded and looked like she was fighting back tears. Then suddenly she said, “Oh! Ian brought over the best cookies yesterday. Do you want some coffee or tea and some cookies?”

  Ian brought over cookies. This guy was killing me. “Sure, that sounds good,” I told her. We went into the kitchen and while she was fussing over making tea I looked at the chalkboard hanging on the wall. It said: “Dinner is in the microwave. Eat. Both of you. I love you both so much! Ian.” I felt the tears stinging my own eyes as I read that. His mom noticed me looking at it and she said, “He leaves dinner a few times a week too. I’m not sure that either of us would have made it through this without him. He’s been our rock.”

  I understood that. He was mine too.

  *****

  After my visit with his mom, I
was even more excited about seeing Ian than I thought possible. There is nothing sexier to me than a man who takes care of his family. So what if he screwed up when he was a kid. He was a man now and from what I saw, a damned good one. I started getting ready for our evening early. I couldn’t sit still anyways without staring at the clock. It wasn’t moving fast enough and it was making me crazy. I took a long bubble bath and then I spent almost an hour deciding what to wear. I wanted to look good for him, but I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard. I finally settled on a tan A-line skirt that came to just above my knee with a tan lace blouse and a camisole underneath. It was casual but nice at the same time. I wore my tan cowboy boots with it and I straightened my hair. I just let it fall to my shoulders and frame my face. Nothing fancy, but again, nice. I put on just enough make-up to make my eyelashes pop and my lips look a little plumper. When I was finally ready, I was pleased with the look. I looked at my phone. It was two-fifteen and I had a text from my dad. It said, “Honey, if you’re okay I was going to have a drink with Tom after work and then I’ll be home.”

  I texted back.

  “I’m going to spend some time with a friend tonight. Don’t worry about me. Stay at Tom’s if you drink. I don’t want to worry about you.”

  I got one back that said, “Okay, but if you won’t be home, text me, okay?”

  He needed some medication. His neurosis was getting out of hand.

  “I probably won’t be, Dad. But I’m going to be at my friend’s house, not out driving. Please don’t worry.”

  “Okay. Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  Chapter Ten

  Alexa

  I made it over to Ian’s apartment right around three o’clock. I met the pizza guy on the stairs. I knocked on the door and Ian pulled it open. He looked surprised to see me. I think he thought the pizza guy had forgotten something. He looked me over and the look he had in his eyes made me all tingly inside. “Wow, you look…wow. Come in.” I felt my face go hot from his compliment. He didn’t have to finish the sentence. His face said it all and I was so glad.