Dirty Cowboy

by Alycia Taylor

  “What makes you think I’m not vegan too?”

  “Are you?” He looked hopeful.

  “No, but how did you know I wasn’t?”

  He pulled up in the valet parking area and turned to me and said, “Because then you would be just too damned perfect to be real.” While I waited for him to come around and open the door, I wondered which one of us was too damned perfect.

  The restaurant was located inside of an old theatre. The ambience was incredible and we were seated way in the back near a huge, beautiful stone fireplace. We were inside, but with all of the plants and the subtle lighting it had kind of an outdoor feel to it. It was definitely one of the nicer places I’ve ever been, but at the same time no one seemed to be too dressed up so those of us who wore our new jeans didn’t feel uncomfortable.

  We skipped the wine list and both ordered a beer. Justin was right; the menu was easy to read. I followed the highlights at first, but decided since I really did love vegetables and I’d be a little uncomfortable eating meat…even fish, in front of a vegan. I was going to go with the buffalo cauliflower and a veggie pizza. Justin seemed amused by that. He ordered some kind of mushroom thing that actually looked incredibly good when it was served.

  “You want to try some?” he asked when he noticed me staring at it.

  “No, mine is fine, thanks. It looks really good.”

  “It’s delicious,” he said, taking a bite. I took a bite of mine and I have to say that I think I fell in love. It was hardly recognizable as cauliflower and it was more packed with flavor than any steak I’d ever eaten.

  “Wow! That’s amazing!”

  “Ah! She’s coming over to the dark side,” he said with a grin.

  “Maybe not just yet. Sometimes I just have to have a steak. So why are you a vegan?” I asked him.

  “I’m compelled to launch into a litany of how it protects the earth and the animals that inhabited it long before we were here…but I won’t,” he said with a grin. “I love animals, don’t get me wrong. But, I became a vegan for purely selfish, and some might say vain reasons. Plant based diets….those that are well planned are rich in protein, iron, calcium…on and on and on. Lots of good stuff. They’re low in saturated fat, high in fiber, anti-oxidants…Once I started this diet I was suddenly more energetic because I slept so well at night, my skin looks amazing and I started packing on the muscle. It helped me start winning marathons and that was always the main goal.” I don’t know how I was looking at him but he suddenly laughed and said, “I’m sorry. TMI?”

  “No. You’re just so well-informed about your diet. That’s great. It’s not what I normally see with people that I train.”

  “My parents are both very health conscious and they raised us kids to be the same, so that helped a lot.”

  “How many siblings do you have?”

  “Five sisters and a brother.”

  “Oh my God, seriously?”

  He laughed, “Yeah, the vegan diet worked great for dad too, I guess.”

  “I don’t have any siblings.” I often wished I did. When it came to my mother a little help would have been nice. Then I think about wishing her on someone else and I feel a little bad…not for Mom, but the other person.

  “It’s fun sometimes, a pain in the ass others,” he said. “I love the holidays with all the chaos and noise of us all being together. I wouldn’t know what to do without that. But there are times when you just want to disappear from the world for a day or two…I can’t ever shut down without a sibling or two calling to make sure I’m alive.”

  I laughed. “It would have to be nice to know you’re cared about that much though, right?”

  “It is, yes. I’m just as guilty of calling them as they are calling me too, especially my sisters. I worry about them.”

  There was that sister thing again, reminding me of Paul. I changed the subject again and said, “So where is your next marathon?”

  “San Francisco,” he said.

  “Oh that’ll be fun. I love San Francisco.”

  “Me too. I love Pier 39 and the Giants and even the 49ers. I went out and took the Alcatraz tour last time I was up there too. That’s definitely worth a trip. I could just go and walk around all day. It’s such a pretty city. You know what the best part is though?”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “I can eat vegan there without any fear of being judged.”

  He laughed as I said, “After tasting it tonight, I will never judge again.”

  Dinner was delicious and our conversation was so comfortable and easy. There was nothing forced or anxiety provoking about it at all. I wondered what was wrong with me. Why did I seem to seek out the guys like Paul…and the other Justin…the guys who had problems, the ones who needed “fixing?” I have no idea, but what I do know is that as gorgeous as this guy is and athletic and obviously smart and funny…I don’t feel attracted to him in the same sense as I do Paul. Not even on the same plane. There is definitely something not right in my head.

  We went to the concert after dinner and Need to Breathe was amazing just as I knew they would be. The seats were great and Justin bought us matching t-shirts when he went out to use the bathroom. It was an awesome night…the best one I’d had in a while. Yet when we got back to my apartment and Justin walked me to the door. I knew that I couldn’t kiss him. It wouldn’t be fair to him because all I could still think about after all of that was Paul. When he leaned in to kiss me, I turned my head and he caught me on the cheek.

  I could see the hurt in his eyes, but proving what a great guy he is all he said was, “Thank you for going tonight, Jessie. I had a really good time.”

  “Thank you. So did I.”

  “I’ll see you at the gym,” he said with a smile. His eyes still looked sad. I felt terrible as I watched him walk back to the car. When I turned and opened the front door, I nearly knocked my nosy mother over.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Why didn’t you let him kiss you?”

  “Mother! That is really not your business. Were you standing here looking out the window this whole time?”

  “Yes.” She didn’t even sound a little bit ashamed of herself. “Why didn’t you kiss him? He’s so handsome. Was he a creep tonight, or what?”

  “No, Mom. He was a perfect gentleman. I had a really nice time. Why I didn’t kiss him is really not your business. You don’t know how I’m feeling….”

  “I’d have brought him back inside and…”

  “Stop! Just stop there, Mom, okay? I know what you would do. I’m going to bed, goodnight.”

  She was shaking her head at me, likely wondering what the hell was wrong with the daughter she had raised. She seems to forget…or not even see how different we are sometimes.

  Chapter Three

  I was at work the next day, going about my business working with a client that Sam had referred to me. This one was a woman so at least I didn’t have to worry she was going to hit on my like Mark or ask me out like Justin. Not that going out with Justin had been bad; it was just the opposite as a matter of fact. It had been so nice that I was still thinking about it and hoping I got a chance to see him to thank him again and apologize for blowing him off at the front door. The more I thought about that, the worse I felt about it.

  My client, Tanya and I were working on her upper body. She’s a tennis player and in really good shape, but she wanted to work on getting more strength in her arms. I left her on the bicep/triceps machine and went in the back to get some free-weights. Greg was on the mats with a guy I’d never seen before. He was built like a fighter and had a lot of tats. Of course I was instantly reminded of Paul and the day he and I worked on his ground game. I was mad at him that day, but that hadn’t made being that close to him any less of an erotic experience. I’m sure Greg wasn’t feeling the same thing…at least for his wife’s sake, I hoped not. I laughed out loud at the thought and Greg looked up at me and raised an eyebrow.

  “Are we doing it
wrong?” he said with an amused expression.

  “Oh no. I’m sorry. I was thinking about something else completely. Please! I would never dare correct the way you did anything…”

  He laughed, “Calm down, Jessie. I was joking. Devon this is Jessie. She is one of my most dedicated employees. She’s here when I arrive and back before I get here in the morning. Sometimes I think she might be living here.”

  “The Madison Gym ghost,” Devon said. He smiled and stood up. Swiping his palm against the white shorts that stood out against his mocha skin he held his hand out towards me. “I’m pleased to meet you, Jessie.”

  I shook his hand and said, “Devon Rafter?”

  “That’s me,” he said. His vanity shone through for a second as he grinned and said, “I guess my reputation precedes me.”

  “Um…yeah. I’ve heard about how good you are. You guys are working on the ground game, huh?”

  “Yeah. I’m a boxer at heart, but even the greatest need to switch it up every so often, you know? I have a really important fight coming up on Friday to defend my title.”

  “Friday? Who are you fighting?”

  “Paul Delport. You know him?” I was hoping the look on my face didn’t tell it all. What the hell? Maybe Devon just didn’t know Paul had taken off.

  “Have you talked to Paul lately?” she asked.

  “No, but my manager talked to his yesterday, why?” I didn’t answer right away so Greg said, “Jessie was probably just wondering because it’s been about a week since any of us have heard from him. He was coming in everyday…maybe he found a new place to work-out.”

  I hoped that my face didn’t give away how I was feeling. He was going to be in town in two days for the fight I was helping him train for and he hadn’t even bothered calling me? What the fuck? “Well it was nice meeting you Devon. I have a client waiting out front.”

  “Nice meeting you too,” he said. “I hope to see you at the fight on Friday. I can use friendly faces in my corner.”

  I smiled and hoped that it reached my eyes as I turned to go back out front. Was Paul just using his sister as an excuse to not see me anymore? Could he really be that big of a coward? I wanted to doubt it. I know he was worried about Marie and Victor. I know that….

  “I’m sorry Tanya, here we go,” I told my client when I got back. I tried to tuck my thoughts about Paul away while we worked, but they kept sneaking back in. Before I knew it I was worried about his strategy. He’d been practicing his ground game because Devon was known for his boxing skills. What if he was going about it all wrong? Devon’s moves…what I saw of them with Greg, were good. He planned on going in there and taking Paul out in the one way Paul had expected to do to him. Even if I could get ahold of him, it was too late now. Shit. It was his own damned fault anyways for not calling me.

  When Tanya and I finished and she had gone in back for a quick shower I went up to talk to Victoria. “Hey Vic, have you seen Paul Delport this week at all?”

  She shook her head and was typing something into the computer at the same time. When she looked up she said, “He hasn’t even paid his dues yet this month. That’s not like him. I haven’t seen him in over a week.”

  “Okay. I was just curious. Devon Rafter is in the back. He said the fight is still on Friday night.”

  “Yeah, about that. Sam got tickets for us all again if you want to go.” Did I want to go? I really wasn’t sure. I was saved from having to answer at that moment because Justin walked in the door.

  “I’ll talk to you about it later, Vic. Hi Justin.”

  “Hey Jessie. What’s up?”

  I walked with him a ways from the desk before I said, “I wanted to tell you again how much fun I had last night. I also wanted to apologize…See, I kind of started seeing this guy but then he left town and I’m just not sure where we’re at. I didn’t want to start something with you until I knew…it just didn’t seem fair…”

  He smiled. Putting his hand on my arm he said, “Don’t worry about it Jessie, it’s really okay. I had a great time and I’d like to do it again sometime if you would too. If not, I’ll live.”

  Geez! Perfect stinking man. I’m ridiculous. “Thank you. Who are you working out with today?”

  “I was going to go it alone…but if you have time?”

  “Of course I do.”

  ******

  I managed to suck up my anxiety for the next two days and not let it get the better of me. I had decided to go to the fight. I don’t think there was ever any real question as to whether I would or not. I rode with Sam and Debbie and Debbie chattered most of the way there so at least I didn’t really have to make conversation. Everyone was curious about where Paul had been and why he hadn’t been coming around the gym. There were all kinds of interesting theories, but I didn’t weigh in on any of them. I was curious myself what he had been doing since obviously he was moving forward with this part of his life at least.

  Once again, Sam had gotten us great seats. The cage was right in front of us and I debated whether having such a good view was a good thing or a bad thing. I glanced around as the other seats filled up as well. There was electricity in the air that was almost palpable. The crowd was fired up and ready for this fight to start. They were loud and while we waited I heard at least three separate opinions about the fight. The consensus seemed to be that Paul was going to get his ass kicked. I wasn’t sure if I was still mad at him or not, but I was sure that I hoped they were wrong.

  When the announcer stepped into the middle of the octagon with the referee and announced Paul’s name, I held my breath. I watched as he not so much as walked as he did strut down the center aisle. He looked completely focused and the upheld palms and fists went completely ignored as he brushed past them. He stepped inside the cage and suddenly appearing to realize there was a crowd watching him he did a three-sixty and lifted a gloved hand up in greeting.

  Next, it was Devon’s turn. He came out looking like Sylvester Stallone in Rocky. He was almost dancing and throwing out punches. He shorts were white again and his dark olive skin was so shiny under the harsh lights that it looked like someone had poured oil over it. He bounced into the cage with a grin and unlike Paul, played to his fans. He jogged around the octagon blowing kisses and waving as the announcer read off his stats. It was an impressive list.

  The announcer finally got out of the way and the two fighters were called out to the middle. The ref did his thing and the men hit their gloves together and went right into it. They began to rotate around each other, each one no doubt strategizing in his head. Paul threw the first punch, a jab from his right side, aimed directly at the side of Devon’s head. Devon proved he had lightning reflexes. As one hand came up to block Paul’s punch the other shot around and landed on the side of Paul’s face. I winced as his head swung around at an awkward angle. He staggered back, but was quick to right himself back up on his feet. He moved around a bit, looking like he was still trying to regain his footing and surprised Devon with a roundhouse kick that landed on the other man’s left flank. Devon stumbled, but only slightly…otherwise he looked unfazed.

  That was when I think Paul decided to take a big chance. He took a step forward. The step alone had power in it and Devon wasn’t expecting it. Paul grabbed his arms and to keep from going down, Devon threw his forehead forward, slamming it into Paul’s. Paul didn’t seem to loosen his grip at all as they danced around together in a circle. Devon had a hold of Paul’s arms now and they were each trying to get the upper hand. The crowd was screaming, some for Paul and some for Devon. I saw Paul’s foot move out to the side and he did a quick sweep, knocking Devon off his feet. They went down together hitting the mat with a thud. They were both scampering, trying to get up on their knees. Paul was on his first and as soon as he was, he threw an elbow that Devon rolled out from underneath. As Paul’s elbow slammed into the mat Devon, on his knees now, jumped onto his chest. Paul didn’t stop moving and I saw his knee come up and connect with Devon’s ribs. Th
e other fighter rolled off and tried to scramble back to his feet, but before he could, Paul was on his back. The bell rang then and both men went back to their sides of the octagon. Paul had definitely won that round.

  The ego part of me wondered if he knew I was here. The stubborn part of me wanted to say that it didn’t matter. He didn’t call and tell me he was going to be here, so why should I care? I did care though and I wondered what that said about me. When they went back out for the second round the look on Paul’s face was nothing less than pure determination. He came out fighting, looking like he planned on winning this in as few rounds as humanly possible. Devon looked determined as well, but he didn’t seem to have the same fire in his eyes as Paul did. They exchanged a few punches and kicks before once again; Paul managed to sweep Devon off his feet. This time as they fell, Paul grabbed him from behind so that they would go down with Paul on his back. He had his left arm around Devon’s neck as they hit the mat with his elbow just above his trachea.

  Paul reached out with the hand around Devon’s neck and grabbed hold of his own right arm. Squeezing the bicep he forced his hand down so that it was behind Devon’s head and brought his elbows together. It was a picture perfect example of a rear naked choke hold. I was proud of him.

  The only problem I could see was that Paul was struggling to get his legs in place. He was trying to get his shims under Devon’s knees so that he could use them as hooks to control his legs but Devon wasn’t going to easily give up the only part of his body he was still controlling. He used the power in his legs and hips to lift them almost completely off the ground. It was risky because as they slammed down into the mat, Paul’s arms could have as easily tightened across his trachea as they could have slipped off. It took Devon three tries and it looked like it may be the last one he had in him as he slammed down hard and Paul’s hand slipped just enough to give him the wiggle room to slip free. He was still gasping for air, but that at least gave Paul a chance to get back on his feet. As soon as Devon was on his, he showed the crowd how he’d gotten his stellar reputation. He unleashed a series of punches and jabs and kicks on Paul that nearly took him back down to the mat before the buzzer finally sounded. That round went to Devon. Paul looked exhausted, but thankfully so did his opponent.