Dirty Cowboy

by Alycia Taylor

  When he’d finally stopped chuckling, I asked, “Hey, do you wanna go on a ride? I know you’ve got to train Greg anyway, so what better way to get acquainted with him than to ride him?”

  His expression softened. “You sure you’re ready for that?” he asked. “I mean, I know what kind of memories that has for you and all.”

  “That’s very sweet of you to ask,” I replied sincerely. “But I’m okay. I feel more at peace now. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’ll actually be over it for a long while if I ever get over it, but I think riding will make me feel connected to Mom as opposed to sad. Almost like I’m paying my respects to her, and in turn, Dad, as well. Besides, I’m on a ranch for crying out loud, I’ve got to ride. I think it’s mandatory.”

  “Well, it’s pretty hard to argue with that. Let’s go.”

  Well, that was simple enough. We walked out to the barn in silence, anticipation buzzing in the air between us. This was going to be my first ride of my own accord since my parents had passed. I felt slightly apprehensive, but ready. I couldn’t deny I was glad to be sharing the experience with Noah. Something about knowing he was sympathetic and understanding enough to ask if I was ready meant the world to me.

  When we reached the barn, I immediately went for Rose’s saddle. She’s the horse I’m the best acquainted with, but Noah pointed out that she probably hadn’t completely recovered from giving birth, so I went for Stella instead. He made quick work of saddling Greg, and a few moments later, we were guiding the horses out into the afternoon sun and preparing to mount.

  “So, anywhere specific you want to go?” Noah asked.

  “Who goes on a ride with a place to go in mind?”

  “Apparently, not you.”

  “And, do you?”

  “Actually,” he said, swinging a leg over Greg’s back, “I do. You used to come here when you were younger, right?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Ever been to Sand Mountain?”

  Sand Mountain…sounds familiar, I thought. “I’m not sure.”

  A grin spread across his face. “Trust me, if you had, you’d remember. Come on,” he said, nudging Greg into motion. Suddenly, a small wave of something flashed through me. It felt like I was betraying my mom. There was no actual reason for it, I knew she would want me to ride in her absence, but I just froze. Noah stopped Greg and looked back at me.

  “You alright?”

  “Is it awful for me to be doing this? Riding without her? I mean, I know she would want me to enjoy riding as much as before, but is it insulting her memory to enjoy it so soon without her by my side?”

  I had no idea why my emotions were unexpectedly so complex and confusing, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like a lunatic, switching back and forth so much between being ready and not being ready to ride. What is wrong with me?

  Noah trotted back over to me. I sat there, stroking Stella’s mane and trying to pull my head out of my ass.

  “Hey,” he said. “Look at me.” I lifted my eyes to meet his. There was a softness in

  them that immediately disarmed me. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel how you feel; you know that, right?” I nodded slowly. “But, at the same time, you have got to at least try. It’s obvious you’re feeling all kinds of emotions, and that’s understandable, but there are few things that allow me to clear my mind like riding. Maybe that’s what you need—to just do it. Like when you’re about to go swimming and the water is cold. Sometimes you just need to dive in and get wet so you get used to the water faster. Think of this as diving in.”

  He had a point. Another of my habits that I have never been able to break has always been over-thinking things. My mind can take the simplest of situations and turn it into a muddled mess. I knew I needed to jump in with both feet. I also knew I needed to stop being so back and forth. The only way to move forward is to take a step. And that’s all Noah was encouraging me to do: take a step. I looked at him and a rush of affection hit me. “You’re right,” I said and nudged Stella to walk. We picked up the pace enough that we had a solid speed to carry us to the mountain.

  Luckily, the climb was a gentle path that allowed plenty of room for the horses to maneuver. It didn’t take long to reach the peak once we got to the base of the mountain. As we trotted along, I realized that Noah was right, again. The ride had definitely cleared my head a little. For the first time since I’d arrived at the ranch, I felt free and connected to my parents.

  At the crest of Sand Mountain, we looked out over the vast expanse below to find lush greenery and rocks cascading into the valley below. It was a breathtaking sight. I sat on Stella and took it all in. Noah slid down and stood next to Greg, holding onto the reins, then took a deep breath and smiled.

  “I never get tired of this,” he sighed.

  I could get used to this myself, I thought. “You don’t get sights like this where I’m from,” I told him. “It’s amazing.”

  He waved me over. I slid down and guided Stella over as well, and when I got to him, he extended an arm and pointed. “You see that area over there with the long brown line between the green squares? That’s where the ranches are. The long brown line is the dirt road between them.”

  “Really puts things into perspective, doesn’t it? Makes you feel small.” I was feeling particularly sentimental at the moment. I’d just taken an emotional ride that connected me to my parents, and I was ready to open up a little. “My dad always used to tell me that I need to keep my feet on the ground and be realistic. This is a good reminder of that, you know? In the grand scheme of things, I’m just a little tiny speck in the huge valley of life, yet I still matter. It’s just a really cool thought.”

  Noah tore his eyes away from the valley and looked at me like I was a better sight than the natural beauty below. “You’re not even remotely close to what I thought you’d be like.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I think it’s pretty obvious that, at first, I thought you were a spoiled city girl. I’ve dated a couple of city girls in my past; they both thought they were the top of the heap and nobody could ever get better than them. You are nothing like that. You’re sincere, intelligent, and caring, not shallow and vain like I originally thought. You’re something else, Laci Daniels. Pretty amazing, actually. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”

  I moved closer to him and held the reins behind my back. “Are you trying to get me to kiss you?”

  “That depends. Is it working?”

  “Definitely.”

  I stepped up to him, arched up onto my tiptoes, and pressed my lips against his. The reins in his hand dropped to the ground and he put the heel of his boot on them, then curled his arms around my back, bending down enough that I didn’t need to balance on my toes anymore. I mimicked him with the reins I was holding and cupped my hands around his cheeks. He started to spread his lips, and I opened my mouth to invite him in. The kiss deepened and our tongues began to dance around each other. Not unlike before, I felt a passionate flame rise in my chest. I drew him closer and took his hat off to wind my fingers into his soft, dark brown hair. The weight of his hands moved to my hips to pull them against his body as though he was hungry for more.

  My heart started to race and I could almost feel his pulse thumping in his chest. Just as the fire began to burn hotter than I was ready for, Stella snorted and bobbed her head, which pulled the reins from under my foot. Feeling the sudden shift under me, I broke the kiss and turned to gain control of the horse again. When I’d gotten a hold of her reins again, I turned to Noah. A laugh bubbled up in my chest at the expression on his face.

  He was standing there like something from a cartoon, his eyes closed and his arms dangling with his lips still puckered. “You okay?” I chuckled.

  “How are you gonna leave me hanging like this?” he replied in a breathless daze.

  “Well, I didn’t want to lose Stella,” I explained, stepping closer to him again. “Or is this,” I kissed him on the cheek, �
��more important to you?”

  “I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer that. On one hand,” he returned the favor and kissed me on the cheek, “this is definitely what I like more. But on the other hand,” he said, kissing my other cheek, “I don’t want you guys to lose your horse.”

  “Eh, she was trained right. Stella here probably wouldn’t have run off, but it’s just an instinct to make sure I’ve got an eye on her at all times. This guy, though,” I said, crossing behind Noah and patting Greg’s neck, “Him, I’m not so sure about. You better do your job with him.” I gave a wink and looked at Noah like I was sizing him up.

  He looked me up and down—probably sizing me up, too—and then, in one swift movement, he’d mounted Greg and started on the path back down the mountain. “Hey!” I called after him. “What the hell are you leaving me for?” I jumped on Stella’s back and followed him toward the base of the mountain. When we’d caught up, I asked Noah what that was all about.

  He smiled over his shoulder at me and replied, “Instinct. I had to get moving before I made an ass of myself.”

  “Not like you need my help for that,” I smirked.

  “Ha, ha, always the comedic genius.”

  “I’m here all week,” I countered as I tugged myself back into Stella’s saddle. “And just how, pray tell, might you have made an ass of yourself? Inquiring minds want to know.”

  “By doing things that a Southern gentleman shouldn’t do,” he called out without a single glance back at me.

  My breath caught in my throat. So, he was having the same, not-so-appropriate thoughts I was. Good to know. His sculpted back bobbed along in front of me, and I let my mind wander while he couldn’t see me. I thought about how it felt to have his lips against mine, with his minty, Tic-Tac-flavored cool breath. I thought about the surge of warmth—and quite frankly, lust—that sliced through me when the heat of his skin pressed against mine. I thought about those incredible deep mahogany eyes with specks of amber shining through them in the sunlight—and that heart-melting crooked smile.

  I suddenly realized that his appearance, which used to be off-putting, was now sizzling hot times ten. His longer-than-average hair went from “eh” to something I could run my fingers through when I kissed him; his unshaven chin went from an eight o’clock shadow to a ruggedly handsome scruff; and the dusty cowboy boots he favored were now endearing as opposed to the epitome of “hick gone wild.” Maybe it’s because I was gaining a new appreciation for the Southern way of life, which was far less fussy than city life. Or maybe it was because my perspective on Noah himself changed. Either way, his unrefined look had a charm to it that I couldn’t resist.

  When I didn’t come back at him with a witty response, he raised his voice a little and said, “I didn’t scare ya away, did I?” The he glanced back to make sure I was still trailing behind him. I forced my mind back to the current situation and replied.

  “No, I was just thinking, is all.”

  “So that’s why there’s smoke coming out of your ears.”

  “Ha, ha, always hilarious,” I mocked, sticking my tongue out at him when he glanced back again.

  “Well, ya gonna share with the class or what? What were you thinking about?” he called out.

  “Just thinking that I probably wouldn’t have had any problem with you being less than a gentleman when I’m thinking thoughts that are less than ladylike.”

  The horse in front of me came to a dead stop. I steered Stella to go out and around so that she and Greg were neck and neck. “Why’d you stop?”

  “You’re a lot more upfront about that than I thought you’d be,” he choked out, dumbfounded.

  “I’m full of surprises, Mr. Tucker.” I decided I was going to beat Noah at his own game. He wanted unexpected, he was going to get it. I took off. “I’ll beat you back to the ranch,” I called back to him.

  And with that, things got interesting.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Noah

  The first kiss was incredible. Unforgettable. And, a lot unexpected.

  It was unbelievable. So were all of the ones after that on the top of Sand Mountain. Standing there with a beautiful girl looking out over a beautiful view was nothing short of amazing. The way her fingers tangled through my hair. The heat and hunger in every kiss made me want to take her right then and there, which I had to admit, made me feel a little like a sleaze ball. So, when she pulled away to make sure she had a hold on Stella, I jumped on Greg and got to moving to keep myself from being a bad boy.

  A few minutes later, when she’d caught up and then admitted that she was feeling “less than ladylike,” I stopped in shock. Then—wouldn’t you know it—she pulled a total Jamie and started a horse race. Don’t get me wrong, she’s much better than Jamie, but I just couldn’t quite explain why it was that the two girls I’d been interested in over the last two years both wanted to start races with me. “I’ll beat you back to the ranch,” she said, before taking off like a bullet out of a gun—while knowing that Greg wasn’t a fan of kicking it into high gear if he didn’t have to, mind you. After quite a bit of coaxing and telling him that we were in this together, he finally stretched his legs and showed me the full extent of his speed. He easily outstripped Stella and passed her after a few seconds of galloping. “Atta boy, Greggie! Keep it up!” I cheered.

  Just then, she passed us again. Apparently, she enjoys mocking me because she did it for the second time in less than five minutes.

  “Atta girl, Stellie! Keep it up!” she shouted as she looked over her shoulder at us and threw up a thumb to display just how proud she was of herself. She may be a city girl, but I have to hand it to her—she certainly knew how to ride and get a horse to reach its full potential. After a little back and forth in the lead, we reached the ranch. It was a much faster trip than I expected since I’d never ridden at a full out gallop to or from Sand Mountain before. If you’re wondering who won, it happened to be the devilishly handsome bull rider on a horse that wasn’t fully trained. Laci could ride, all right, but she had just learned that she could never match up to Noah Tucker.

  When we’d both slowed and eventually come to a halt, we dismounted and made sure to guide the horses straight to their water troughs so they could quench the thirst they had undoubtedly worked up during our race. As they drank their fill, I could sense Laci looking at me: not unlike those cheesy romantic comedies my mom loves to make my dad sit through. She averted her eyes every time I caught her looking over at me.

  “May I help you?” I asked.

  “Sorry, I just can’t help it. Things have always been easygoing between me and Mark, but nothing quite like this.” She blushed.

  A burning anger suddenly boiled deep in my chest. Who was this Mark, really, and why did I feel so threatened by him when I didn’t know a single thing about him? Other than she’d felt a little guilty about him earlier. But more importantly, why was I—the King of Cool—getting jealous? I bit back the smart remark I felt coming to my lips and, instead, I put on my most innocent and calm face and asked, “Who’s Mark?”

  “My friend. The guy I mentioned earlier,” was all she said, looking at me like she had no idea what was going through my head.

  “Well, are you going to tell me about him?” I urged.

  “Oh, yeah. Sorry. He’s my second best friend, like I said, beat out only by Emily. I met him in an acting class when we were seven, our parents became good friends, and we’ve been close ever since. He gave me this,” she explained, lifting up the necklace she had shown me briefly in the kitchen.

  Unless he was gay, I highly doubted any guy could be close to Laci for eleven years and have no feelings for her. I took the charm into my hand and had to admit that I appreciated the idea that it was a smiling mask. I flipped it over and saw words etched into the back. “Even at three a.m.?”

  She nodded. “Mmhm. Before he moved to California, he told me that I could call him at any time, even at three a.m., and he’d answer. He got me this
as a graduation gift. He has the other mask; it says ‘I’ll always answer’ on the back.”

  Yep, I was right. He’s in love with her. No guy gives a girl a necklace as meaningful as that with the promise that they could even call at three in the morning without having some kind of deeper meaning behind it. The look on my face must have given my thoughts away more than I’d intended because she blushed an even deeper shade of red and squeaked out, “Have I said too much?”

  “At least, you were honest with me,” I said. “But you do know that he’s definitely one hundred percent in love with you, right?”

  “Yeah, he told me when he gave this to me. I told him that I adore him, but I need to focus on my career right now. His is already established, and mine’s about to launch with this movie.”

  “What do you mean his is established?”

  “He’s already had two movies out,” she replied.

  “Umm. Mark who? Who are we talking about here? Would I know who this guy is?” Something in my gut already told me I would.

  “Maybe. Mark Hannon.”

  My head felt like it was about to explode. For the longest time, I’d been the kind of guy who’s essentially afraid of commitment; I never thought I deserved it or, frankly, even wanted it. But with Laci, something felt different. Sure, it was early on, but there was some kind of unexplainable spark between us that I thought could develop into something special. I thought it could turn into a real relationship, but here she was telling me that she needed to focus on her career, and that’s why she had turned this Mark guy down. Not just any Mark, though. Mark fucking Hannon. If she turned him down, a name even I knew, and after knowing him and being attached at the hip for eleven years, how could I have a shot in hell?

  To avoid saying something really awful and dickish that I would regret later, I cleared my throat, put Greg in his stall and his saddle where it belonged. Then, I started back toward my house. For a while, she kept trying to talk to me and get me to listen, but I just shook my head and continued about my business until she gave up and I was away from her. When I was, I felt the hot sting of tears at the corners of my eyes.