Dirty Cowboy
Page 130
“Ah, it’s no problem at all. I love it,” Brady said.
Harold sighed. “I have to say. Sometimes I’m a little jealous of the two of you. I mean, you’re doing what you love. You’re out there on the field. I miss my ranch days.”
“You could still come out though,” I said.
Harold laughed. “Have you seen me walk around? Or should I say, have you seen me hobble around? Nah, my body is just not what it used to be. I battle now. But I sure do miss it. I miss having something to do all day. You know, I might have a lot of money, but sometimes it all seems a little pointless. I’m going to have to find a good hobby to get into. I can’t sit around at home all day.”
“No girlfriends running around your mansion?” Brady said and chuckled.
“I’m not exactly Hugh Hefner, you know. But no, no girlfriends. I’m not sure I could handle being with a woman again now that my wife has gone. It’s two years this week, you know. Two years. I can’t believe how quick it’s gone.”
I didn’t know much about Harold’s life. I figured he didn’t have a wife, but I didn’t know that she had passed away two years ago. “I’m so sorry,” I said to him. “I didn’t realize.”
“Sorry? For what?” Harold asked. He seemed genuinely confused by my statement.
“For your wife passing away. I’m so sorry to hear it. I didn’t realize. How long were the two of you married for?”
“Too damn long if you ask me,” he boomed and took me completely by surprise. That was not the answer that I had been expecting.
“Too long?” I said to him with raised eyebrows.
“You try and be married to a woman like that for thirty years. It was a nightmare. It was the longest thirty years of my life. And she was impossible to divorce. I knew it would’ve been more hassle than it was worth. The only thing that I had going for me was my ranch, which is probably why it’s done so well. I put everything I had into that place. I tell you what, between you and me, her passing away was the best thing that could’ve happened to me.”
I gulped. I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that. Brady was chuckling away, and it was clear that he’d heard it all before. But what was I supposed to say? It wasn’t exactly like I could tell him that I was happy for him. I just took a sip of my beer and hoped he wasn’t expecting me to say anything.
“I’d rather have nobody than be with a woman like that.”
“I’m sure there are plenty other women around that you’d actually want to be with,” I said helpfully.
He laughed. “Have you looked around this town? Choices are slim pickings here. You obviously haven’t been here long enough to realize that. And anyway, some people are just better off on their own, don’t you think?”
I didn’t think that. I believed that everyone deserved to find true love. I believed that everyone was happier when they found someone to share that with. But I had a feeling he wouldn’t take too kindly to me saying that. So I just nodded.
“Sure,” I said. “To each their own, I always say.”
“I know it sounds horrible for me to say I was happy when she died. I’m making it sound worse than it was. I didn’t actually want her to die. But I was a miserable old man before. Ask Brady; he remembers me then. I used to come to the ranch all the time just to escape her nagging. This place was my saving grace. But for the past few years, I’ve never felt freer. Now, the next thing for me to do is to find a hobby that I enjoy. Beer drinking as a hobby is sounding good right about now,” he said and took a big swig of his beer.
“Yeah, I must say, you’re much happier now. And far more pleasant to be around,” Brady said and laughed. Harold laughed with him, and I wondered what was so funny about being happy to be alone. I drank my beer and kept my thoughts to myself.
“I think Brady here is very much like me,” Harold said confidently. “Very much like me. Sometimes he feels like my son.”
“He is?” I asked. I looked toward Brady, and he was nodding. It made me uncomfortable to think of Brady wanting to be like Harold. He was a nice man, but he was clearly not the happiest.
“Oh yeah. I never plan on getting married. I’m happy just to be left alone out on the ranch doing my own thing. Living my own life. That’s who I am, it’s who I’ve always been, and it’s who I will continue to be.”
Perhaps that was the Brady everyone knew today, but it wasn’t the Brady I knew from long ago. But I didn’t say anything. Instead, I ordered another beer and promptly changed the subject.
Chapter Twenty
Emily
I slept better after my date with Grant than I had in a long time. When I got up that morning, I quickly checked the living room to make sure that nothing would give us away. I put some music on cleaned the house, and then sat down to enjoy some breakfast and coffee. I was on my second cup of coffee when Terra walked in.
“You alone?” she said looking around.
I nodded. “Yeah, he didn’t spend the night or anything.”
“Oh man, I was worried I’d walk in on something. I wanted to come here much later, but my mother was going out, and she was dropping me back off. Wow, this place looks clean.”
I chuckled. “I was in a cleaning sort of mood.”
“You were? Since when is anyone in a cleaning sort of mood? That can only mean one thing; something happened last night!”
“What? Nothing happened. He checked the house like you asked—which, by the way, couldn’t have been more obvious, thank you very much—and then he left.”
“Oh yeah? So why then are you grinning like a Cheshire cat?”
“I’m kidding. We totally screwed.”
“You see, now aren’t you happy I gave you the house to yourself?” she said. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down to join me at the table.
“I’ll admit, I wasn’t very happy about it at first. I was so embarrassed. But now I can’t thank you enough.”
“Ah ha! I knew you’d be happy. So, was it as amazing as you thought it would be?”
“How do you I know I was thinking about it?”
She laughed. “Oh, Em. You can’t fool me. I’m your best friend, and I know that beneath the sweet exterior is a very naughty girl. Am I right, or am I right?”
“You’re right. Actually, Grant mentioned that himself.”
“You see! I knew you were good in bed. My sources were correct.”
“I just haven’t done it in such a long time.”
“Was it worth the wait?”
I sighed in contentment. “Oh yeah.”
“I hope you didn’t do it in my bed!”
I looked at her in shock. “Terra! Of course not. Gross, I wouldn’t do that.”
“Good, because that’s why you have the spare room, you know.”
“Uh, well, we didn’t do it there either.”
“What? Where did you do it? Don’t tell me the kitchen.”
“The living room.”
“Couldn’t you make it to the bedroom on time or something?” she asked in amazement.
I shook my head. “Nope. I couldn’t wait.”
“No wonder you cleaned like a maniac this morning. You really look happy. It must’ve been amazing.”
“It was. He’s . . . uh . . . how can I put this without sounding crude . . . ?”
“I’m your best friend. If there’s one person you can be crude with, it’s me.”
“He’s pretty big,” I finished, and she gasped.
“EMILY!”
“Hey, you asked!” I said and chuckled. It was usually Terra telling me about some well-endowed guy, so it was fun to be on the other side of it for a change. “But seriously, besides that, it was amazing. He’s amazing. And I am smitten.”
“You are. I can tell. I haven’t seen you this happy in a very long time. Well, you deserve it, Em. I hope he treats you well. I must say, he’s very polite. I get a good feeling around him. I think he’s one of the good ones.”
“I think so too,” I said.
“Oh yeah? You interested in Brady? I didn’t know that.”
“I’m not. I mean, I’ve never really thought of him in that way before. He keeps to himself, and I just figured he wasn’t interested. But I’m starting to think that maybe I should’ve made a move in the first place. I don’t know. It’s just an idea that came to me. He’s certainly very good looking. He’s got that shaggy look about him. He’s very manly.”
I chuckled. I had never thought about Brady in that way, but she had a point. The Maxwell brothers were very good looking. Each in their own way.
“Well, maybe we should go on a double date. I can talk to Grant about it. As far as I know Brady doesn’t have a girlfriend.”
“Worth a try. Right now I’ll take anything. I’m desperate for love! DESPERATE!” she cried out in exaggeration, and I laughed.
“Quiet, broody Brady with crazy little Terra. Yeah, there’s something about that weird mixture that I like. I’ll set something up.”
“Thanks, Em. So, what have you got planned for today?”
“Nothing really. Maybe we should go for lunch or catch a movie? I feel like a good girls’ day with you.”
“Ha! You just want someone to talk to about your sex life.”
I giggled. “No, I honestly just want a day with you.”
She smiled. “I’d love that. Hey, isn’t that your phone ringing?”
I listened and jumped up. “It is,” I said and ran up to my room.
“Say hi to Grant for me,” Terra said, and I grinned.
But it wasn’t Grant. It was, however, a man with a very deep voice.
“Is this Emily Wessler?” he asked. It was a voice that I had never heard before. There was something about it that seemed familiar, but I couldn’t place it.
“Uh, yes. Who is this?”
The man didn’t say anything, but I could hear that he hadn’t put the phone down.
“Uh, hello? Are you still there? Is this a bad line? This is Emily. Who is this?” I said again.
More silence. I was just about to put the phone down on him when he finally spoke.
“Emily. This is John.”
“John? I don’t know a John,” I said.
“I’m your father.”
For a while, I didn’t say anything. Then a pain came shooting through my hand, and I realized I was gripping onto the phone tighter than I’d ever done before. I loosened my grip.
“Are you still there?” he asked.
“Did you just say that you were my father?”
“Yes. I’m sorry, I know this must come as a surprise. I didn’t know what else to do. And I didn’t just want to show up. I thought a phone call first might be better.”
“You thought a phone call might be better? I don’t even know who you are. I don’t have a father. My mother brought me up. My gran brought me up. They were my parents. Not you. That’s even if you are who you say you are. Anyway, I thought you had died?”
“What? Is that what you thought?”
“Yeah. I mean, if you didn’t die, then why haven’t you been around all these years. Is this a prank? Because it’s not a very funny one. It’s the worst prank in the world.” If this was a prank, then I would never talk to this person again in my whole life.
“It’s not a prank. I promise you. I’m your father. I’m sorry, Em.”
“Em? Don’t you dare call me Em. That name is reserved for people who actually know and care about me.”
I felt a headache coming on, and I desperately wanted to slam the phone down on him. But part of me was too curious to hang up. After all, I’d only been waiting for this moment my whole life. Now that it was here, I wasn’t sure I wanted it to be him. It was far easier to think that he was dead. Otherwise, why didn’t he contact me all these years? There was nothing worse in the world than the feeling of being unwanted. Like being picked last in school. It was devastating.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. His voice had become a whisper. And I realized that I believed him. This was my father. Somehow, somewhere, he’d come back to me. Where had he been all these years? I had so many questions for him. And yet, at the same time I didn’t want to know.
“You’re sorry? Really? Because . . . because . . .” I stopped speaking because I could feel the tears spring to my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want him to hear me cry. I took a few deep breaths. “What do you want from me?” I finally said.
“I want to get to know you. I want to find out all about you. I want to say sorry for not being there for you. I want to meet you.” There was a sense of urgency and passion in his voice that I tried to ignore. I didn’t want to like this man. For years, I’d hated him.
“You want to meet me? Now?”
“It doesn’t have to be now. We can meet whenever you want. You just name the place, and I’ll be there.”
“I don’t want to meet you.” I tried to make my voice some firm, but I just sounded like a little girl who had no idea what she wanted. My voice was betraying me.
“Okay, I understand that. I didn’t expect you to just come running into my arms or anything like that. Look, I’m going to text you my number. Take your time. When you’re ready to meet me, please call me or text me back. Anytime, anywhere. I’ll be there. I promise. And I understand that you’re angry.”
“Oh no, you don’t understand anything at all,” I said.
I switched off the phone. I couldn’t listen to him pleading anymore. I wondered what I would’ve done if he had been in front of me. Would I have run away? Would I have hugged him? Would I have slapped him? Almost everything seemed possible.
A few minutes later I received a text.
I’m so sorry, Emily. I would love to meet you.
I stared at the message. Was this really happening to me? I didn’t reply.
I sat there for about ten minutes until I finally made my way back downstairs. My legs were wobbling so much I had to hold onto the railing for support. I felt that I could faint any moment and I was grateful when I got to the bottom.
“What’s wrong? You’ve gone pale. Who was that on the phone? You seemed angry,” Terra said when she saw me.
I burst into tears. I couldn’t speak, so she held me in her arms and let me cry. Then she took me to the living room and waited until I was ready.
“Was it Grant?” she asked when my tears had finally stopped falling.
I shook my head.
“Okay, when you’re ready you can tell me. No rush. Take your time. You’ve got this, Em.”
I looked at her. I knew my eyes looked wild in shock. The tears were falling again. I was fine with her calling me Em. But not him. Never him.
“It was my father.”
“Your . . . what?”
“My father. Well, at least, that’s what he said.”
“Is it really him?”
“I have no idea. What’s going on Terra? First, my house burns down, then I find out my father has found me again and wants me back in his life. What is happening?”
“Are you going to see him?”
“I hung up on him. He told me to contact him in my own time. He wants to meet up.”
“And how about you? Do you want to see him?”
I thought of my mother and my grandmother and how wonderful they’d been to me my whole life. I thought about the times I’d cried myself to sleep wondering why I didn’t have a father. I thought about the times I’d wished he’d suddenly appear in my life again. I shook my head in confusion.
“I don’t know, Terra. I don’t know.
Chapter Twenty-One
Grant
After work, I decided to head over to the fire station to talk to some of the guys. I’d gotten fairly close to a few of them, especially Zach and Tyrone. They were very similar to me in a lot of ways. Both of them weren’t from Buffalo and had originally come from city life, where they’d both been
involved in an office job all day. They were best friends, and they’d one day decided to hit the road and see where it took them. On the way, there was a fire, and they drove to see what was going on. They ended up fighting the fire and then getting offered positions within the department. Ever since then, they’d lived in Buffalo as firefighters and had never looked back. I’d gravitated instantly toward them. They were both of similar age to me and had both been through a lot of rough times growing up. I loved Brady, but I sometimes felt as if I could talk more openly to these guys.
“Yo! Grant!” they said as they called me over.
I walked over and grinned as they handed me a cold beer. I cracked it open and sat down.
“Thanks, man. I need this right now.”
“Pleasure, Grant. Or should I say, Patriot?”
I looked at them in surprise. I hadn’t told anyone other than Emily about my nickname, and the only person that really called me that was Brady. Was he right? Did news really travel that fast in this small town? Did Emily tell Terra who then told someone else?”
“How the hell do you know about that name?” I asked.
Zach laughed and fished out a newspaper. Near the back was an old picture of the motorcycle club. And right near the front was a much younger me, and a much younger Brady. Underneath it were our nicknames in print.
“Where did you get this?” I asked.
“My brother arrived this morning with it. He picked it up at the station somewhere.”
“Patriot, huh? That’s an interesting name.”
“And I didn’t know Brady was called Shotgun,” Tyrone said.
I chuckled. “Well, you caught me out. Everyone who is part of the club gets a nickname. And once you have it, it’s very hard to shake it off. I still call Brady ‘Shotgun’ to this day. It feels more normal for me to call him that than to say ‘Brady,’ to be honest.”
“Wow, so this is a whole other life, huh?”
“Tell me about it,” I said as I looked at the picture. “Feels like a lifetime ago. I still love my bike, though. I miss it. I’ve been meaning to go back and get it. But I think I’ll ditch the outfit. I don’t think full on leather would suit this small town.”