by Honor James
She moved slightly so that the injured shoulder was facing up even as she curled into his heat. A leg over his and her cheek on his chest she let out a breath. Her possession was clear as she whispered, “Mine.” And she was once more snoring lightly, the Lortabs working their magic and keeping her unconscious.
Smiling he nuzzled her hair. “Mine, too,” he breathed over her forehead as he settled down and closed his eyes. Slowly he let himself relax fully into sleep. A little at a time he felt himself give way to the dream world. Inside he found a dark room with only one light on and a chair in the center puddle of light. Frowning he turned around and knew this wasn’t his dream. He was in Harker’s.
She was in the shadows, her form watching the chair intently, and when she saw him she whispered, “They made me watch.” In her drugged state she was giving him something she had given and told no one. “He was my best friend, my first and only lover. I loved him, but not the kind of love that could stop traffic, that could make a person give up their very soul.” She had a feeling, however, that kind of love could be found if she allowed him in, Miklos. Her unconscious mind was doing something for her heart and soul that she never really would anyway, at least not for a very, very long time.
“We were eighteen and were in Mexico. We had just made love and went out for dinner.” There in the chair now sat the bruised and bloodied naked body of her first love. “They attacked us before we were able to get out of town. We were coming out of the restaurant and they began to shout at him. He pushed back and they fought.” She was still in the shadows, hiding the damage they did to her. “It was hours and hours later, when they forced me to watch.” Swallowing, the image of the large man came into view, an obvious Wolf given his size and eyes. “They condemned him.” Because of something that now had Harker terrified.
She allowed him to listen in. “You were to find the bitch and bring her to us, not fuck her.” She still winced at the sound of the accent, not Spanish, but Hungarian. “She is to be one of them, we have a seer who saw her and instead you fucked her.” The men surrounding the single chair knew what was coming so the one holding her bound hands left her naked and broken form there in the corner. “And now you will pay, slowly.” She was made to watch as they so slowly tortured him.
It had taken her several minutes before she realized that she was alone and made for the door. She showed him her escape, but not before she watched the neck of the man she had thought she loved be ripped out by a Wolf’s muzzle.
“This is why it’s bad for people to be close to me, Miklos, why no one can come in.” She stepped from the shadows, the blood from the rape on her, the bruises, lacerations. “This is why when I finally find a friend, I am determined to keep them safe no matter the cost to me. He was a Wolf sent to find and bring me in for some reason, and it has been twelve years and I know now why.” Because someone had seen her as being Miklos’s mate. “How can I let you go when I know that you are supposed to be mine and me yours, but how can I let you in knowing I could watch another man I love die?” She didn’t love him, yet, but it was getting there and she knew it was far closer than she could have ever believed.
Stunned, shocked, angry, Miklos reached out and touched her cheek. “How can you not let me in, Harker?” he asked her gently. “They may have seen what might be, but only you and I can make our future real. So what if they come for me? I’ve been hunted for almost two hundred years. I’ve never laid down and let them take me and I definitely won’t now. Not when I have even more to protect,” he whispered slowly, pulling her into his arms. “You are mine and I am yours. We together will do whatever it takes to ensure we have that future. Don’t push me away because of fear, Harker. Hold me close and let the nightmares go. Together we can heal each other and build a good life.” Why the hell was he talking her into mating with him? He really had lost it.
His arms offered her comfort in the dream even as they gently protected her in bed. “Show me how. Help me finally be out of this dream, Miklos. Bring me back to the light and show me how good life can and will be between two people who love each other, not just the surface love that is glossed over and civilized, but real love. Deep love. The kind that is soft, but rough at the same time. The kind that is world shattering and mind altering. Show me how good it can be if I let myself feel this small thing growing inside of me,” she whispered and everywhere he touched her seemed to become clean, cuts and bruises healing to the scars she held today.
“You already know it, Harker. It’s inside of you. It may be hidden, it may be protected under layers of your iron will, but it’s there,” he told her quietly. “I’m Wolf, Harker, there is very little softness in my life but for you, my mate, I will be more than willing to try to be gentle and soft. The rough I already have down pat, something just needs to be rough-and-tumble.”
“I need rough-and-tumble, too, Miklos, but even now as we sleep you are so gentle with me, so caring about my injury. That is the soft I need.” She looked up at him and nodded. “Help me out of the dream, Miklos. Take me back to our bed, the one we shared first. The candles and soft water falling around us. Take me back to that heaven and love me, Miklos, let me love you.”
Lowering his head he kissed her softly as he let the dream she’d created be wiped away. Slowly he replaced it with the other dream and sighed softly against her lips as they settled in the bed. Stroking his hand gently down her spine he nibbled on her lip. “Is this better?” he asked her softly as he rolled to his back and let her lie over him so she wouldn’t be hurt accidently in reality.
“Yes, this is so very much better.” Her cheek pressed to his chest, lightly moving back and forth over it as she realized why he had moved to the bottom, to keep her from accidently being hurt as they lay in her bed. “Is this your bed, Miklos?” she whispered as her hands slowly moved over his chest, memorizing each inch of his body as she could. In reality he had shifted her slightly so that she was laying across his chest even there, his hand lightly anchoring her so she didn’t move.
Nodding slowly he looked around and let other details come into view, the mammoth wood-burning fireplace that was the wall between the bedroom and his sitting room, the wall of windows specially tinted to let in light but keep peepers out, the plush four-inch pile carpet in a warm neutral that highlighted all his dark furniture and kept the pale blue walls from making the room cold. His bed was huge, custom made so he’d have room to sleep, romp, and play with his mate, though at the time that had not been his thought. “This is my room,” he told her quietly, looking up toward the exposed rafters overhead.
She looked around the room and grinned. “I love it.” He had fire in the room, one of her most favorite of things. “I love fireplaces,” she admitted but didn’t move from his embrace, simply lay there holding him, before, “I have so many questions, Miklos, like do you sleep like a human or an animal? Do you have to shift during the full moon? Do you have to shift once a day? Do you know who and what people are around you when you are a Wolf?” There was so much that she wanted to know, so very much.
Blinking at her he started to grin slowly. “Curious, aren’t you?” he asked before chuckling softly. “I can sleep in either form that’s why the bed is so big. Anyone under a hundred years doesn’t have a choice to change during the full moon, but I can resist it since I’m a bit older. The only full moons no Wolf can resist changing are the Hunter moons, the big low-laying moons. Because it sits closer to Earth its pull is much more direct and harder on us.”
“Right, I can understand that. Your age helps to keep you from changing and all that.” She did grin and squeeze his hand. “So note to self, the big furry dog on the Hunter full moon is not such a bad animal?”
Shifting slightly he looked to the ceiling. “I don’t have to shift once a day. I don’t ever have to shift except for once a year to let the Wolf run free or it tends to get damned pissy. I can always tell who and what people are no matter my form. But when Wolf it’s a bit tougher, although friend
and foe are damned clear.”
“Right, and I really hope I am on the ‘friend’ side of that coin?” she asked quietly and then, “Can you tell me what it feels like?” She wanted to know everything about him. “Can you tell me how it feels right now, you with me?” She asked with a small sigh, “Is it different than what I can feel about you? How I feel about you?”
Frowning slightly he dropped his gaze to hers and shook his head. “What do you mean, Harker?” he asked quietly. “Are you talking about being the Wolf or being man with the Wolf inside? Or are you talking about just how I feel about you?” he inquired.
“Is how you feel about me more than what I could feel for you?” She was worried that she wasn’t emotionally capable of being his. “I want to give you everything, I want to love you, Mik, but I’m scared.” She was terrified, couldn’t survive losing another loved one and she knew that the loss of him would destroy her.
“I don’t know, Harker. I’m not you so I have no way to compare. But I do know that, from what I’ve seen, mates love each other unconditionally and completely. Only a child can create that same pure overflowing emotion in the couple as what’s between them.” Shrugging slightly he smiled. “I do know that it’s extremely powerful and amazing. Other than that, we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we.”
“Are you sure that you want me? I’m cranky and bitchy, hell I put my life on the line every day.” And had the battle scars to prove it. “I want to try though. I want to try to have a life. I would like to learn what that kind of love would be like.”
“Course I want you even if you are cranky and bitchy,” he told her. “I’m an asshole and regularly have people telling me to stick my head in uncomfortable and anatomically impossible places.” Grinning wryly at her sharp look he lifted his brows. “Did I mention a lot of people don’t like me and I’m not exactly concerned by the fact? I do my job, have a higher clearance of cases than even the other Wolves on the force, and I don’t care whose toes I step on.”
“You should also know that Desmonda comes as a part of the package. She has been my friend for years, Mik, and she will continue to be my friend, all right?” she whispered and then smiled. “I don’t want to talk anymore, Miklos. I really want to love you in our dreams and make love with you in our dreams, darling.” And later she wanted him in reality as well.
Lifting her hand he kissed her fingers. “I’ll put up with her as long as she remembers who has the bigger and meaner bite out of the two of us.” Nibbling on her fingertips he watched her and smiled slowly. “You’re the one on top. I think I’ll just lay here looking pretty while you take advantage.”
“So I am, aren’t I?” Leaning in she nibbled on his cheek and then neck. “I love how you feel under me, Miklos.” And she loved how he felt over her and on her and beside her and every other possible way they could choose. She moved on him slightly, rubbing herself against him and smiled as he growled. “I like that growl, Miklos. It’s the one you give of pleasure and I really like to hear it.” Her hands braced herself on his chest before one disappeared between them. Leading his cock into her weeping pussy she leaned back on him with a sigh of pleasure. “So good.”
Moving his hands to her hips he held her for a moment as he wrestled to get himself under control. Letting out a slow breath he rocked up into her vise-like cunt and moaned. “Yes, you are,” he murmured on a throaty sound of pleasure. He loved this woman’s body, loved how free she was with him and how different she seemed to be when there were no words between them. With words she seemed hesitant or even a bit wary, but with loving each other physically she gave easily.
She moved with him, her body moving on his roughly, and the pleasure was there, building with every single thrust and dip she made on him. Her hands on his chest she leaned down and nibbled his lips. “I need more. I need all of you, Miklos.” And she moved harder on him, faster. In reality her body moved to drape over his, his hands holding onto her hips. Even as she became wet with need his cock pressed and strained against his pants.
Lifting his hips he pumped into her pussy knowing he was making the same movements, but smaller in reality. “Take everything you need,” he murmured. Shifting one hand he kept it from her back, the memory of what her real back looked like keeping him from hurting her. Sliding his hand into her hair he tipped her head and kissed her hard as she rode him, biting her lip gently before suckling on the tender flesh.
She shivered, kissing him back harder and becoming far more demanding than she had ever in her life been. Her nails scraped along his chest as she moved on his cock, hard and fast. Finally she pulled back and let her head fall back, screaming as she came in a blinding flash of shocked pleasure.
Arching up he growled out her name, the sound guttural and deep with pure pleasure. Collapsing back onto the bed he pulled her gently down onto him. Stroking her hair he smiled slightly. “If it’s even half as good in reality I think you’re going to give me a run for my money, Harker.”
She grinned and sighed. “I think that’s all right, Miklos, because no matter what, I think that together you and I will give each other the best of runs for everything.” And she hoped that in reality she wasn’t a disappointment to him. “Whatever it is, however it is between us, we will forever be good together. We will learn how to be good together, how to be explosive.”
“I think I may need more insurance on my house if we’re going to be any more explosive,” he told her with a grin. “A couple more fire extinguishers in the bedroom, one of those flame-retardant foam systems, a sprinkler system,” he teased and chuckled at her look.
“Don’t forget the fire retardant bed, bedding and carpeting Miklos.” She teased and rubbed her cheek against his chest, “I think I’m waking up though. I hear a buzzing or a ringing or something.” She yawned and realized she likely hadn’t turned off her alarm clock. Given her she usually slept the morning away because of her night shifts, the fact it was just going off made her wonder how long they’d slept. “I think I will shoot the alarm clock to have more time with you.”
“Don’t do that, love,” he told her as he stretched. “I’m sure you should be eating something, too, as well as taking some more medication. It’ll give you a chance to get up and stretch for a while,” he added as he felt himself pulling awake. Slowly he blinked and yawned as he looked around her room before glancing at her face and smiling as she woke, too. “Hi there,” he said softly, brushing back some of her hair.
“Hello there.” Hard to believe they had both just had mind-shattering orgasms and then she blushed. “I think you and I both came, in both reality and dreams.” She certainly had. She felt the wetness in her panties and bit her lip. “We should get up and get cleaned up, medication and food.” Not in that order, but she was just going as she thought of things. “I can’t wait until we make love in reality, Miklos. I want to know if we will be just as explosive and perfect.”
“You are already that perfect,” he said softly, touching her cheek with a light finger, stroking it over the arch of her cheekbone. “Let’s get you up and moving around. You can’t be exactly comfortable laying over me like that with your aches and pains.”
“I’m not but to be honest I’m afraid that when I move it will all be a dream and I will wake up in the hospital in pain and not have you.” And that would just kill her. “I know, I know, this is real.” But what if it wasn’t? “Besides.” She leaned down and laid her head on his chest. “With as much as I’m hurting I don’t think that I can move.”
“Uh-huh,” he said with a chuckle. “Then this is likely a bad time to mention I drank a lot last night and really, really need the bathroom,” he added emphatically. “But I’m good, so what if my back teeth are floating, I’ll be fine as long as I don’t think of leaky faucets, babbling brooks, raging rivers, wild waterfalls.” He shifted slightly. “Yup, as long as I keep my mind on you I’ll be just fine.”
“All right, I won’t be that mean to you.” She moved slightly, wincing
a little as she did so but soon was up and sitting on his lap. “Oh my.” She breathed as she felt his hard erection there pressing hard against her. “Does it help to know that I want you even now, Miklos? I’m not supposed to want you out of our dreams, but I do.”
Sitting up slowly under her he gave her a dirty look. “And why the hell wouldn’t you want me outside of our dreams?” he asked suspiciously. “If we only wanted one another in our dreams then it would be one hell of a short relationship, wouldn’t it?” he said as she moved off him to sit on the bed. Shaking his head he got up and moved to the bathroom. “If I didn’t want you outside the dreams you wouldn’t be getting anything in the dreams, Harker,” he said and shut the door. “Damned woman,” he growled as he went about his business before carefully tucking himself back into his jeans. Washing his hands, he splashed water onto his face and tried to get himself cooled off a bit before he went back out.
Chapter 12
She had moved to the kitchen and gotten some water and aspirin, not a drug that would knock her out. When he came out she looked at him and sighed. “I suck at relationships, Miklos. I want to love you, I want to be able to have a shot in hell at a life with you. However, I know me and I will fuck it up somehow.”
Shaking his head he glared at her. “Of course you will with that defeatist attitude, Harker. You are so ready for it to all go wrong that if it even starts looking like it might go right you’d probably sabotage it. Why?” he asked her as he moved to her and trapped her against the counter, an arm on either side penning her in. “Because you don’t think you should be happy. Maybe because you don’t think you’re lovable. Or maybe because for some reason you’re not sharing you think you deserve to die miserable and alone,” he murmured, looking at her intently again. “So you’re not even going to try, are you?” he asked on a bare breath of sound.
She closed her eyes and leaned into him. “I want to try.” She did want to try, very much so. “But I’m afraid that you will give me heaven and then I will ruin it and be in hell once more.” When she opened her eyes she looked at him. “I want to love you, Miklos, but I’m afraid I’m not lovable.”
