by Honor James
“Why the hell not?” he asked, shaking his head. Gently he cupped her cheeks. “You are lovable, Harker, completely and totally lovable. But you can’t go into a relationship thinking it will end. You’re my mate. I intend for us to have a long and very happy relationship. But I can’t do this alone. It’s a partnership, Harker. You and me are partners in this. So tell me now if you’d rather not try because you’re worried it will end and I’ll leave. I’d rather go mad and be hunted down like an animal than have you break my heart.”
Her answer was simple, easy to make when she saw the answering need in his eyes. “Yes.” Wrapping her arms around his neck she kissed him, her choice made in the action and the need that was clear there. Pulling back finally she licked her lips. “Love me, Miklos, now and always?” Because damn him, she could love him.
Holding her hips in his hands he stared down at her and nodded. “That’s a promise, Harker,” he said softly. “Now, I don’t know about you but I’m starving. What do you have to feed a hungry Wolf, my dear?” he asked her as he eyed her up as though contemplating nibbling on her instead.
“Right now there is nothing in the fridge because I wasn’t expecting to be home for a week. We can order in pizza or Chinese?” Her hands moved up and down his chest. “Or you can take me out? I can put on a jacket and not have to worry over a bra.” Because the bra was agony and she refused to wear it.
“Well, how about we hit a pizza joint or a burger place so you don’t have to get too dolled up and can keep nice and comfortable,” he suggested. “If we do anything more than that I’ll need a change of clothes too,” he told her looking down at his jeans and shirt.
“I like what you’re thinking.” She touched his cheek. “Why don’t we go by your house, grab you some clothes, and then hit the drive-through on the way back here.” She wanted to be able to one day spend time in his home, but for now, while she was healing, she wanted to be with him in her home.
“All right,” he said with a nod. “That sounds good.” Leaning in he kissed her cheek softly. “Why don’t you grab your jacket and purse? I’ll give you a quick tour of the place while we’re there or you can wander about while I pack up a few things.” Stepping back he gave her the room to move. “Maybe we should grab some actual food, too, on the way back or”—he tipped his head in thought—“bring over the stuff in my fridge so it doesn’t rot while I’m not there.”
“I know I’m being selfish, but I really want to begin our relationship here, in my home. Later we will progress to yours, but for now I just want to spend time in surroundings that I know and love, that I put together. I’m teetering on the edge of running as it is. You are all that I have to catch me if I fall.” She touched his cheek and stroked her thumb over his lips. “Yet, somehow I know it’s enough.”
Frowning down at her he caught her thumb with his teeth and licked the end of it before letting it slide slowly and gently free. “I’m not going to let you fall, Harker. Especially now that you admitted you actually want me and want a relationship.” Shifting a hand he caught her hand and pressed it to his heart. “I won’t hurt you, Harker.”
“I believe you, Miklos.” Too bad her back was ground meat or she would really show him just how much she wanted that relationship with him. When she looked up and into his eyes all she could do was nod. “I trust you.” Her trust was hard to earn, but he had it and more. “Now, let’s go and get some food in the drive-through, take it to your place. Eat and enjoy a fire before we empty your fridge and come home for a while.” Pausing she tilted her head. “When are you back on duty?”
Nodding he lifted her hand up and kissed her fingertips lightly. “Go and get a jacket and some shoes,” he said softly to her. “You’ve got me for a couple days and then I’ll have to put my nose to the grindstone again.” He could, if he wanted, take some vacation days. His Captain had even suggested it. “I have vacation time owed, a lot really. If you want I can take a couple more days and stick around,” he added, leaving it open to her to decide just how long he’d be under her feet.
“I would like that, Miklos, because if we are to go the whole way with our mating, I will need you around for a few days after, won’t I?” She frowned because now that she knew who he was and just what, she also knew that with her being human and him Wolf, him hunted, she would be hunted, and well frankly she knew she couldn’t survive a Wolf attack. “And before you ask, yes.” She already knew him so well on some other level, she had instinctively known he would ask if they were going to fully mate, and she was just saving him the question.
Blinking he frowned. “Yes what?” he asked, shaking his head. “That doesn’t answer my question,” he told her. “I wanted to know what you were thinking, Harker. You got this consternated look on your face that had me curious as to what was creating havoc in your mind.” He actually did know why she’d spat out the “yes” quickly and he was glad, but he was planning on keeping her on her toes and to do that was to play dumb on occasion and keep her guessing.
She frowned and shook her head. “You know, I don’t think I really know what I was thinking. I was just thinking that I really want to be in your life, and then it hit me.” She looked up at him and swallowed hard enough for him to hear. “I’m not a coward, but the thought of all the Wolves that are going to be looking for me to take me down frankly has me terrified.”
He couldn’t blame her for that, especially since too many packs had a hard-on to terminate his family in particular. He and his brothers had enough years of eluding their hunters under their belts as well as a genetic inclination to greater strength to not be easy targets, even when they were younger. Nodding slowly he touched her cheek softly. “You can still walk away, Harker, I really would not blame you in the least and neither would any of my brothers. Take care of you first,” he said with a partial smile, pain keeping it tight at the thought of losing her. “I’m a big boy, I’ll survive.” For a time at least. And then he wouldn’t want to any more, but that was a whole other nightmare.
“How can I walk away?” she asked and shook her head. “God save me if you really are that dumb, Miklos.” She patted her hand on his chest. “I know that I’m not every man’s dream and all that. I know I am more tomboy than girl but you just have to deal with it, Mik. You, my friend, are stuck with me forever.”
“Honey, you are beautiful, intelligent, and amazing, you are every man’s dream especially mine,” he told her, softly cupping her cheek. “I don’t care if you’re a tomboy or a girly girl,” he said gently. “But you need to be ready for what may come of our mating. Are you sure you will be okay? Because if you tell me yes I’ll keep you to it permanently, Harker. Wolves mate for life, honey. There is no going back.”
“That’s a good thing because I only want one mate for the rest of my life. You’re keeping me, Miklos Farkas, because I am keeping you forever as well.” Her hands moved to his waist, thumbs lightly stroking over the flesh there and smiling up at him. “I’m sure that I’m ready for what may come. With you at my side, it will work out. It will have to or I will seriously be pissed.”
Looking at her, his eyes searching hers for a very long time, he finally nodded. “Then stop saying that you are not good enough for me,” he said to her before leaning in and kissing her hard, possessively. “You are mine,” he murmured softly to her. “Don’t put yourself down around me or ever again period. You are perfect,” he said to her as he kissed her again, much gentler this time.
She kissed him back, her body melding with his as she did so. She was a part of him as much as he was a part of her and everything just seemed to fit right. When she pulled back she licked her lips and nodded. “And you are pretty perfect yourself, Mik.” Her fingers splayed in his hair as she grinned up at him. “We still have a very long road ahead of us, but I’m glad to be travelling it with you.”
“Go and get your coat. I’m wasting away here, woman,” he said quietly, stroking her cheek with gentle fingers. “We have food to get, things to d
o, and a house for you to inspect to see if it’s even livable. Go,” he said again, stepping back, “before I forget you’re hurt and do something to you that will make me feel better in the very least.”
“Would make me feel better, too, Miklos,” she told him simply but turned and moved to the closet to pull out her coat. “All right, have coat and I don’t need a purse because I’m making you buy everything.” At his look she shrugged. “Hey, what good is having you as mine if I don’t use and abuse you from time to time?”
Growling he curled his lip at her in a mock snarl even as he headed toward her and grabbed his own jacket. “You are going to be trouble, aren’t you?” he asked, shaking his head. “Get a move on, woman,” he said again, touching her good hip gently to guide her out the door as he opened it, sniffing the air and pulling in just what was going on around them.
“I am certainly going to attempt to be trouble, Miklos. Hopefully I will get away with it from time to time. Then again”—she looked back and nodded—“I think sometimes a spanking from you would be really, really nice.” She was trying to throw him off balance, and she could tell as he tripped over his feet it was working.
Glaring at her he shook his head. “I should handcuff you to my bed for a week and do unspeakably inventive things to you. But,” he said, and when her expression turned intrigued he shook his head, “sadly it will have to wait until you heal. Too bad really, all these ideas, nothing to do with them I’ll likely forget them all.” Opening the door he helped her in carefully and made sure she was buckled before moving to his side and sliding in.
When he got in she looked at him, hand reached out, and smacked the back of his head. His look told her that he wasn’t sure what the hell to think of her and she so sweetly said, “Just to give you a small feel of how much that little tease hurt me, Miklos.”
Frowning at her he rubbed his head before leaning over her fast and looking into her eyes. “I never meant to hurt you, Harker,” he said quietly. “I apologize.” Kissing her cheek lightly he sat back and started the car without another word and pulled away from her house, spinning around in the street to head the other way and out of the city.
“You are forgiven, Miklos. I love you and I would forgive you about anything. Just don’t make a habit of making me want and need, all right?” She moved her hand to slip into his, squeezing. “You aren’t getting rid of me that fast, so don’t be all upset. I’m sorry I hit you but I wanted to make a point.” When he gave her that look that said “and that would be?” she continued, “That I want you as much as you want me, Miklos.”
“You started it,” he said with a shrug but shifted his hold so their fingers were laced together.
Chapter 13
Driving carefully since he was doing it one handed he watched his surroundings and back trail as they headed out of town toward his property. Like all his brothers he owned a large chunk of countryside. All their properties backed onto one another but, in reality, they could go out there and not see one another for weeks. Half an hour after leaving her place he paused before a set of gates and hit the remote before slowly pulling through and following the curve of the drive around the large island of trees to the front of the house. “Voila, chez Mik,” he said, parking and turning the car off, but he didn’t move beyond that.
“Nice…” She let out a low whistle of appreciation. “I think that you cops get paid far more than we firefighters do. Where is the fairness in that?” She shook her head as she spoke. “It’s beautiful.” And it was. The large home sat closer to the gates and she was sure it was because that allowed far more back property.
“Not from the salary,” he told her and moved then, sliding from the car. Moving around, he opened the door and helped her out carefully. “I know I said we’d stop for fast food, but I’ve got burgers in the fridge we can cook and fries in the freezer. It’ll taste better and be slightly healthier, plus you can put pretty much anything you can dream of on them.”
“And I get to look around your home, our home, so that I can see what I think about it and what I think that we might need to add to it.” She squeezed his hand. “You have a good idea. I think that it is a very good idea to eat here, Mik.”
Shrugging he guided her up the steps and, opening the door, hit the alarm shutdown before turning on some lights. “Go ahead and wander around. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me,” he said, taking her jacket and hanging it up next to his. Looking around discreetly he wondered if he’d remembered to pick up his clothes that morning and prayed if he hadn’t she wouldn’t see them. “Go on,” he said, “the place is all open plan so if you need anything just holler.”
“Can and will do.” She headed for the back rooms and flipped on lights as she went, calling through the house. When she found his bedroom she smiled. She didn’t call to him, just moved to the massive bed and climbed up into it. “This is really very nice,” she murmured as she curled into the pillow that smelled like him and closed her eyes.
She felt him at her side just before he sat. One of his fingers began to stroke her cheek. “Don’t fall asleep, Harker. There’s food almost ready,” he told her softly. “Get up, honey, and come join me in the main room,” he suggested, lightly tugging on her hair.
Her eyes flew open when he tugged on her hair. Playful and gentle as it might be, with her half-awake state and how close to her soul mate she was, it brought up too much of the past. She screamed and scrambled across the bed, huddling there in the corner like a frightened mouse for several long seconds before she realized what she was doing. “Oh God,” she breathed softly.
Miklos was stunned and froze at her panicked move. “Harker,” he said softly, keeping his hands where she could see them. “Are you okay?” He asked the stupid question even though he knew that she obviously wasn’t. “Come here, honey, talk to me.” He held out a hand, palm up to her.
She shook out of her sleep and looked up at him. “I don’t like my hair to be pulled.” If that wasn’t an understatement she didn’t know what was. “They liked to pull my hair, laughed because I am so light.” She looked pointedly at him giving him the end, that he was so dark. He was dark where she was light, her hair icy blonde and his a dark color.
“I’m sorry, Harker, I didn’t know,” he murmured, letting his hand fall knowing she wasn’t coming near him. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he added, pushing to his feet. “Food’s ready when you are,” he said quietly and left the room just as silently as he’d entered. Her answer hadn’t told him a damned thing, because she was “so light.” What the hell was that? Shaking his head he let out a heavy sigh and wondered just how many more times he’d have to grit his teeth and apologize for something she wouldn’t tell him about beforehand. Running a hand through his hair he stood before the oven staring at it blindly for a moment before letting his hand fall and pulling out the fries.
She moved toward him and paused. She could see the line of his shoulders and swallowed. “I told you about what happened in Mexico, Miklos,” she whispered and moved closer, taking a seat on the stool. “In my dream, I showed you.” She had shared the worst hell of her life with him then. “As they took their pleasure from me, took all they wanted they laughed because I am so light of complexion and hair to your darkness.” She shrugged. “I had no idea what it meant at that time but now that I know you I do.” Her throat was dry and words hurt.
Looking at her, he set the tray on the stove and turned the oven off before moving toward her. Dropping the pot holder on the counter he paused before her. “Who cares what you look like or what I look like, Harker? Do you care about me, Harker?” he asked softly. Reaching out carefully he touched her hair. “I didn’t mean to cause you pain, honey, but you didn’t tell me about that part of it while in the dream. You told me about the abuse, but not the rest,” he said, stroking his fingers lightly over her hair. “I love your hair; I love how light it is. It’s like sunlight or, much closer to my beast’s heart, moonlight.”
Leaning into hi
s touch she closed her eyes. “I have blocked so much of it, Miklos. I’m sorry I reacted as I did but it was more instinct that anything.” She shrugged. “I love your hair, Miklos, and yes, I care about you.” She stroked her fingers through his hair and smiled. “You are rough and rugged like a pirate.”
Snorting at that he shook his head. “You’ve obviously watched too many movies or read too many romances, Harker. Pirates were nowhere near as pretty and gentlemanly as they make them out to be. They were ruthless, hard men that did what they did in defiance of their governments’ laws. They killed more often than not and had no compunction about taking what they wanted from anyone at any time no matter the protests.” Cupping her cheek he leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “I won’t hurt you, Harker, ever.”
Nodding she leaned back into him and brushed her lips over his again, her hand covering his as she took what he offered her. When they parted she licked her lips. “I believe you, Miklos, and I know that you wouldn’t ever hurt me. If there was even the slightest question in my mind I wouldn’t be here, you can believe that.” She had never been in a relationship because she never had been able to trust anyone enough to be close to her for more than a day, never, whereas she trusted him after just days of dreaming.
“Good,” he murmured, stroking her cheek softly. “Go and sit at the table. I’ve pulled out all the fixings and the patties are there with the buns. I’ll finish up the fries and then we can eat,” he said softly to her. “Go on, Harker,” he said again, stepping back from her to grab a large bowl.
She pulled a plate and then forked a burger onto her plate with the bun and moved toward the fixings. The lettuce, tomato, and mayo called to her so she ensured her burger was double its beginning size with the veggies. Looking up she patted the place beside her. “Are you joining me?”
