by Lisa Yee
“Pretty much perfection,” Golden Glider added. “How do you do it, Star Sapphire?”
Star Sapphire shrugged as her Violet Lantern ring glowed.
Crazy Quilt leapt up to give Star Sapphire a standing ovation. “Marvelous! Groovy, cool, and hip. Good-good!”
Golden Glider was up next. Her sketches took what she was wearing up several notches, adding white glitter to her skirt, which trailed behind her as she skated, a faux-fur trim, and glistening golden highlights on the shoulders of her dress.
“Not too shabby,” Star Sapphire admitted.
“So pretty! So awesome! So everything!” Wonder Woman chimed in.
Next and last was Wonder Woman. She opened her notebook and held it high above her head. Wonder Woman wished she had brought a swatch of fabric to show, like Star Sapphire had. It would have been easy enough, with all the cutting she had done with Katana’s sword.
Many students turned their heads sideways to get a better view of Wonder Woman’s drawing. Green Lantern rubbed his eyes and gave it a second look. Bumblebee looked surprised.
“Golden Glider, what do you think?” Crazy Quilt asked.
She looked dazzled. “It’s not at all what I was expecting.”
Wonder Woman mouthed, “Thank you!”
“Star Sapphire, your take on this?” Quilty said.
“I think…,” she began slowly. “I think it looks like someone’s puppy drew this.” Wonder Woman was shocked. She didn’t know that dogs could draw. But Star Sapphire wasn’t finished yet.
“I have to give Wonder Woman credit for trying,” she said. Wonder Woman grinned. Star Sapphire still wasn’t done. “This looks like a cross between a zebra, a wedding gown, and a fortress,” she added.
“Thank you,” Wonder Woman said, a tad confused. Did Star Sapphire just insult her design? By the horrified looks on the faces of Bumblebee, Katana, and Hawkgirl, it seemed that she had.
If she was discouraged, Wonder Woman didn’t let it get to her. Instead, she tried to learn from the brutal critique, taking notes and thinking about how to improve. However, later, while many students spent their afternoon reworking their designs, Wonder Woman couldn’t. She had someplace she needed to be.
From many of the school’s rooftop-garden terraces, Wonder Woman had observed the goings-on in Metropolis. But this was to be her first foray into the city.
Gleaming tall, modern buildings stood next to stores run by local merchants. Cars of every size and color zipped around the streets. Some were parked crooked, while others seemed to be packed too tightly together.
As Wonder Woman was rearranging the parked cars, a flustered woman rushed out of Pinky’s Nail Salon. “Wait! That’s mine,” she said, waving her fingers in the air, her nails freshly polished with a shade called Peachy Keen.
“Your car is so cute, it looks like a beetle,” Wonder Woman said as she set it down. “I was just tidying up.”
The woman looked down the street. All the cars were now parked in a straight line and evenly spaced.
“Wow, it looks great! Thank you, Wonder Woman,” she said.
“You know my name?” Wonder Woman asked, surprised.
“Well, yes. Everyone knows who you are,” the woman told her. “Since you arrived at Super Hero High, we’ve been watching you on HQTV! I’m a W-three!”
“Nice to meet you,” Wonder Woman said, shaking the woman’s hand and being extra careful not to break any of her bones. That would have been rude.
As Wonder Woman continued toward the Capes & Cowls Cafe, she heard, “Help!” She immediately ran toward the cries.
A woman and her little girl were outside Donut Delite, where a sign shaped like giant donut hung over the door. A tough-looking character was just about to grab the child’s bag of donuts. He had already taken the woman’s money and phone.
“Stop, right now!” Wonder Woman called.
The man pointed a gun at her.
“Don’t do it,” she warned.
“Don’t do this?” he sneered, and he pulled the trigger!
Wonder Woman stood her ground as the bullet ricocheted off one of her bracelets and severed the cord that held the giant donut sign. The thief looked up as the sign fell and landed on him, the huge donut encircling him, pinning his arms to his sides.
Wonder Woman picked up the bag of donuts and returned them to the little girl.
“You’re Wonder Woman!” the girl said, awestruck.
Wonder Woman smiled at the girl as she gave the woman her money and phone back. “You might want to call the police,” she said.
By the time Wonder Woman made it to the Capes & Cowls Cafe, she was almost two and a half minutes late. Rushing in, she apologized to Lois Lane.
“Not a problem,” Lois assured her. “You were busy doling out justice and donuts.”
“How do you know?” Wonder Woman asked, surprised. Bumblebee had told her that Lois Lane was a great reporter, but this was incredible. It wasn’t like Lois could read minds. She was a regular girl without superpowers. Wasn’t she?
“Look,” Lois said, pointing to the television.
A little girl clutching a bag of donuts was saying, “When I get bigger, I want to be just like Wonder Woman!”
“Thanks for meeting me,” Lois said as Wonder Woman looked around. The cafe was cozy and quaint while still being impossibly hip, with splashy comic-book-like murals, cushy couches, and old-fashioned board games spread out on the coffee tables.
“Wondy, call me Wondy,” she said, turning back to Lois Lane. “It’s my new nickname!”
Lois lit up. “I can’t wait to write about this,” she said. “Would you mind if I asked you some questions? Everyone wants to know about Wonder Woman…er, Wondy.”
As the two began to talk, it seemed that Wonder Woman had as many questions for Lois as Lois had for her.
“I specialize in writing profiles of up-and-coming super heroes, and with Super Hero High being so close, it’s easy,” Lois explained. “Plus CAD Academy is in the next town over. But what I really love doing,” Lois confided, “is investigative reporting. You know, unraveling mysteries.”
Wonder Woman thought it over. Lois loved solving mysteries, and Wonder Woman had one. “I’m not sure if you’d be interested in this, but it seems that someone’s not too happy with me being at Super Hero High,” Wonder Woman confessed.
Lois Lane perked up. “Really?” she asked, opening her reporter’s notebook. “Tell me more.”
Just then, a skinny boy with a messy blond hair stopped by. “Hi, Lois!” He had a pencil tucked behind his ear. A secret weapon, perhaps, Wonder Woman thought. How clever.
“What can I get for the two of you?” he asked, offering a shy smile.
Wonder Woman stared. He didn’t look as strong as Cyborg, or as fast as The Flash, but there was something about him that she liked.
“What kind of weapon is that?” she asked, pointing to the metal on his teeth.
“Huh? Oh,” he said, blushing. “It’s not a weapon. They’re braces. You know, ’cause my teeth are crooked.” He covered his mouth with his hand as he spoke.
“I like them,” Wonder Woman said. “Braces. They look good on you! Maybe I’ll get some.”
The boy stared at Wonder Woman.
“I’ll have my usual,” Lois said, not bothering with the menu. “An acai berry smoothie.”
Wonder Woman noticed that her heart was beating a little faster than usual. “I’ll have three bowls of cereal, please,” she said to the boy. “The green and blue ones shaped like crescent moons, the yellow and red ones shaped like asteroids, and the purple and pink ones shaped like flowers.”
The boy shook his head apologetically. “I’m sorry, but we don’t have sugar cereal here. Only healthy food. How about a veggie burger and kale chips?”
Wonder Woman nodded. “Okay, then. Those.”
“Oh! Where are my manners?” Lois chided herself. “Wondy, this is Steve Trevor. His dad owns the diner. Steve, this is W
onder Woman, but she goes by Wondy now. She’s new to Super Hero High.”
Steve wiped his right hand on his apron and extended it. Wonder Woman made sure not to crush him when they shook hands.
“I’ll get your order right away,” he said, flexing his fingers as he ran off.
“He wants to be a pilot,” Lois later told her new friend. “I’ve known him since we were little, and all he’s ever wanted to do was fly.”
Wonder Woman understood. “I remember when I first started to fly,” she said. She noticed that Steve was now wiping and rewiping the table behind her, even though it was clean. “Sure, there were lots of crashes,” Wonder Woman continued, “but my mom was always nearby in case I needed her. When I finally got good enough to fly solo—the sensation of soaring through the air, dipping in and out of clouds…”
Wonder Woman was interrupted by the crash of a chutney bottle. She turned around and Steve was standing there, looking at the mess.
“Er, I must have been distracted,” he said.
Lois smiled knowingly. “Don’t forget our order, Steve.”
“Sure thing!” he said. “Let me just clean this up first.”
Now it was Wonder Woman’s turn to smile. She liked it when people were tidy.
“So, then, you had started telling me about a mystery,” Lois reminded her.
“Right!” Wonder Woman said. “I keep getting these messages telling me I’m not wanted at Super Hero High.”
“Who’s sending them?” Lois asked.
“That’s the mystery!” Wonder Woman exclaimed. “I’m thinking maybe it’s Mandy Bowin. She’s the girl who was expelled right before I showed up.”
As the two discussed the matter, Wonder Woman kept her eye on Steve Trevor. He was now at the counter, struggling to open a jar of jam. In a heartbeat, she was next to him. “Can I help?” she asked.
Steve blinked back his surprise. “Uh, sure,” he said handing the jar over. Wonder Woman opened it with ease. “Wow, thank you,” he said, “You’re really strong.”
“Yes, that’s true,” she answered.
He was looking at her funny.
“Are you sick?” she asked.
He shook his head, but he didn’t speak or take his eyes off her.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
He nodded, and he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“Maybe your braces are broken,” Wonder Woman suggested.
As she stared back at Steve, Wonder Woman started feeling strange. Perhaps he is sick, she thought, and I have caught whatever he has!
Back in their dorm room that night, Harley said, “The more the world sees you, the more popular you become. The more popular you become, the more the world sees you!”
“Is that a good thing?” Wonder Woman asked.
“You’re so funny!” Harley said, letting out one of her famous laughs.
Wonder Woman gave a weak smile, wondering what funny thing had she said this time. “Hey, Harley,” she asked. “Can you explain something to me?”
“Sure, what?” Harley was now doing a handstand in the middle of the room.
“Boys,” Wonder Woman said. “Can you explain them to me?”
Harley sat next to Wonder Woman on her bed. “Wow, that’s a hard one,” she said. “They’re just like us, but not at all like us. Sometimes they like us, and sometimes they don’t like us, and sometimes they just like each other, but other times they like everyone, and no two boys are alike. Boy—oh, boy. Boys!”
As Harley continued talking about boys in general, Wonder Woman continued thinking about one boy in particular.
Lois Lane’s interview with Metropolis’s newest super hero was a smash success. Not only was it front-page news in Metropolis High’s newspaper and online at Super News, but the Daily Planet picked it up and ran it in the What’s New News section.
“Look at the famous Wonder Woman,” Cheetah said as she slammed her locker shut.
“No, it’s not Wonder Woman, it’s Wondy,” Frost said, passing by. “Don’t you watch HQTV?”
“You can call me either,” Wonder Woman said helpfully. But by then they were gone.
Wonder Woman had heard a whiff of a nasty rumor that she wasn’t living up to her press, that she had somehow tricked Lois Lane into writing the glowing article. Most of the students who believed the article were classmates of Wonder Woman’s, and several, like Beast Boy, were quick to tell her how much they liked reading about her. Others remembered that she’d helped the kitchen staff. And still others benefited from the after-school tutoring sessions she had set up. Many noted that Wonder Woman was always ready with a kind word.
The following week, Harley skipped dinner again to work on her videos. Wonder Woman had gotten into the habit of bringing her a sandwich from the dining hall. Through a mouthful of food, Harley stared at the computer screen and then began to chortle. Or maybe she was choking.
“Are you okay?” Wonder Woman asked, poised to break into laughter or deliver the Heimlich maneuver, whichever was appropriate.
“I’m just cracking myself up,” Harley said, wiping the tears off her face and pointing to the screen.
“May I see?” Wonder Woman asked, relieved that she didn’t need to save her roommate’s life. There was enough of that sort of thing during class, even though most of it was just practice.
“Why not?” Harley said grandly. “After all, you’re in it!”
“I am?” Wonder Woman asked. She wondered what she would see herself doing this time.
“It’s a tribute,” Harley explained as Wonder Woman watched wide-eyed, “of all the most popular Super Hero High kids messing up. I’m doing this for fun!”
There was Cheetah taking an unattractive tumble and then trying to pretend it was on purpose. Poison Ivy mixing chemicals and exploding a room, again. The Riddler hitting a wall after forgetting a punch line. Katana kicking Frost’s locker and getting her foot stuck in it. Golden Glider accidentally turning the swimming pool into an ice-skating rink, just as Beast Boy leapt off the diving board. Beast Boy turning into a crow right before hitting the ice, and swooping back up in the air. No one was immune to Harley’s camera.
Word spread quickly down the hallway, and before a girl could yell, “That’s me!” other girls had filtered into Harley and Wonder Woman’s dorm room. It had gotten so cramped that some had to resort to hovering above the crowd to see the computer. But everyone had one thing in common…their jaws were hanging open. Though Harley was pleased, the onlookers were not. No one looked good in this video. No one but Harley, who had inserted clips of herself smiling and shouting, “HQTV!”
“It’s all in the editing,” Harley explained to the packed room. She had to jump up and down on her bed so everyone could see her. “I can take a regular shot of someone and then zoom in on their nostrils, and instantly they look funny. And this tribute reel highlights the bloopers and blunders everyone has made!”
Wonder Woman held her breath when her section came on. It had the title “Classics.” Of course there was the time Star Sapphire dressed her down in Crazy Quilt’s class—with an extreme close-up of Wonder Woman looking like she was trying not to cry. But there was new material, too. Like her dancing awkwardly when she thought no one was looking. Or mooning over a newspaper photo of Steve Trevor receiving an award for his efforts to feed the poor. However, the worst segment was in the last part of her section. It was footage of Wonder Woman’s horrible stint in Flyers’ Ed, where she’d landed on her rear end—causing her to emit a loud “YIKES!”
When the video ended, there was a stunned silence.
“Well?” Harley asked. “Anyone have anything to say?”
The laughter started low and began to build. Everyone turned to see who it was coming from.
Wonder Woman?
It was a loud, joyous laugh, and it cut through the seriousness that had been building inside her. Sure, she looked bad in the video, but Wonder Woman realized that if she di
dn’t laugh at herself, no one else could.
“We look ridiculous,” she said, laughing so loud that she let out a snort. Soon everyone was laughing and snorting with her. “Thanks for sharing this with us, Harley. And thanks for not posting it on HQTV.”
“What do you mean?” Harley asked.
“What do you mean?” Wonder Woman said, her voice beginning to falter.
“It was uploading while you were watching,” Harley said. “My Tribute video’s gone live. Look, it’s already got 3,417 hits!”
Wonder Woman plopped onto the bed as the others continued to laugh. What if her mother saw the video? She would question whether Wonder Woman was taking school seriously. What if she even got expelled, like Mandy Bowin?
As the visitors filed out, Hawkgirl pushed her way in. “Wondy! Wondy!” she called, clearly upset. “Did you see it?”
“Unfortunately, I did,” Wondy said. “I looked and acted awful!”
“No, I mean me,” Hawkgirl said. “Sleeping in class? I could lose my scholarship! Plus, if Abuela Muñoz sees that, she’ll be so disappointed. She’s old and her heart is weak, and she’s not supposed to have too much excitement.”
“Try to calm down,” Wonder Woman told her friend. “Does your grandmother watch a lot of videos?”
Hawkgirl shook her head, “No, not really. She’s not that into modern media.”
“Well, there you go,” Wonder Woman said. “And I heard that Principal Waller tries not to watch HQTV or the other clips of us that float around on the Internet.”
Hawkgirl let out a huge sigh of relief. “Thank you, Wondy,” she said. “You really are amazing.”
Wonder Woman smiled on the outside, but inside, her stomach was in knots. Unlike Hawkgirl’s abuela, Hippolyta—Queen of the Amazons, mother to Princess Wonder Woman—was definitely an HQTV subscriber.
When Wonder Woman checked her emails and HQTV comments the next morning, most of the WWWs said that her flaws only made them love her more. However, there were a few messages from others claiming she wasn’t a super hero at all, or super, or a hero. Several adult super heroes felt the need to chime in about the proper way to break a fall. And then there was one from aNOnymoUs: So many stumbles in so short a time? Best you leave now before someone gets expelled.
