by Lisa Yee
Expelled? Though shaken, Wondy remembered to forward the threat to Lois Lane, who was collecting evidence. The only upside of the whole morning was that there was no lecturing email from Hippolyta. Maybe she hadn’t seen it after all.
Wonder Woman found herself looking up her own name on the computer. She was reluctant to admit it even to herself, but she did a daily sweep of what people were saying about her. Most of it was positive, and this made her happy. When she saw what the haters had to say, Wonder Woman let herself get depressed for about three seconds. Then she tried extra hard in school so that someday she could save the world and silence the trolls.
The popular Super Hero Hotline show had a segment on her. Two TV analysts, both claiming to be famous former child super heroes, were debating whether the display of antics featured in Harley’s Tribute video was a teaching moment.
“Is Wonder Woman truly an example of a teen super hero, or is she already a teen super hero has-been?” the female analyst asked as she patted her poufy hair.
“She doesn’t seem ready to save the world,” the male analyst added. He had no hair to pouf, but his mustache was styled in a daring upward swoop. “And ‘yikes’? What kind of word is that? Do super heroes even say that?”
“YIKES!”
“YIKES!”
Both analysts seemed to delight in repeating “YIKES!” over and over again.
Yikes.
Wonder Woman shut her computer off. She had seen enough.
“Can you believe all the press? I’m famous!” Harley gushed as she ran into the room. “Look at this,” she said, holding up a newspaper. “Lois Lane wrote an editorial saying that it’s empowering for mortal teens to see their heroes mess up!” Harley paused. “What? What’s the matter?”
Wonder Woman shook her head. “I don’t want to be famous,” she said softly.
Harley furrowed her brow. “Why not? Everyone wants fame!”
“Not me,” Wonder Woman said. “I just want to be the best super hero I can be.”
“And super heroes are famous,” Harley insisted. “It’s part of our job. We’re not like the Secret Spy Guild. We’re out there protecting the world, letting them know we’re here for them. The more people see of us, the safer they feel. Here, read this.” Harley handed her a newspaper. It was Lois’s article.
Young super heroes today are under so much pressure to succeed. To get into the right schools. To pass their super hero exams, and to perform. Let us not forget that students like the ones in Harley Quinn’s HQTV Tribute video are still just kids. And what do kids do? They goof off. They mess up. They are still acting like themselves, not a glorified version of what the public wants them to be.
The HQTV Tribute video did everyone a favor. It showed kids being kids—even though these happened to be super heroes-in-training. And it gave the world a glimpse of reality, empowering and encouraging mortal teens to be themselves, like the super heroes they worship. Mistakes and mess-ups happen, but let it happen here. Let it happen now. Let’s not chide these super hero students who might someday save our lives. Instead let’s embrace them, goofs and all.
The article made so much sense. Wonder Woman felt a wave of relief wash over her. Maybe Harley’s video was a good thing after all.
Just then, Katana leapt into the room. “Wondy!” she said, out of breath. “Your mother is on campus!”
Wonder Woman stood up. Panic engulfed her. Her mother was at Super Hero High? This could not be good.
Bumblebee buzzed in. “Wondy,” she said, exchanging worried glances with Katana, “The Wall wants you in her office ASAP!”
As Wonder Woman made her way to the principal’s office, she could hear the talk.
“I saw her! Hippolyta is so regal!”
“Wonder Woman’s mother is my hero.”
“Just being near her was a thrill.”
“Wondy, your mommy is here.”
Huh? Wonder Woman looked up. “Hope you’ve been a good girl,” Frost said.
“Yes, I know, thank you,” Wonder Woman said, warding off the chill.
“Just trying to be helpful,” Frost said, offering a phony smile.
As Wonder Woman continued down the hallway, she saw a tornado heading her way. She stepped aside, but it stopped in front of her and her Flyers’ Ed teacher appeared.
“Wonder Woman,” Red Tornado said, adjusting his cape. “Your mother is here.”
“That’s what people keep telling me,” she said.
“Well, maybe you could put in a good word for me,” he said. “Ask her if she remembers me from that Super Summit CLXXVII conference, called Flight ’n’ Fight, in Florida so long ago. Tell her that I was the one who gave her the red roses.”
Wonder Woman had her mind on other things. Like how upset her mother would be. “Sure thing,” she told her teacher.
“Thank you!” Red Tornado said. “And ask her if she’d like to have a cup of coffee, or a snack, or a meal, or whatever. I’d be happy to join her!”
Roses. Coffee. Snack. Meal. Whatever. Wonder Woman tried to remember this as she approached Principal Waller’s office, but she had much more on her mind. Even before she opened the door, she felt the presence of Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazon, ruler of Paradise Island, legendary warrior. Her mother.
“Daughter,” Hippolyta said. Concern crossed her face.
“Mother,” Wonder Woman answered, her head bowed.
“You may use my office for privacy,” Principal Waller said. “I’m sure you have much to talk about.”
“There is nothing I can say in there that I can’t say here,” Hippolyta told her.
Wonder Woman’s eyelashes fluttered nervously as she met The Wall’s eyes. For the first time, she noticed that they looked kind.
“Principal Waller, I want to thank you for taking in my daughter these past few weeks,” Hippolyta began. “It pains me to say this, but from the most recent video, it’s become clear that she does not belong here.”
Wonder Woman gasped. Her heart sank. She opened her mouth to protest, but no sound came out. She loved Super Hero High. Sure, there had been some rough moments, but it had also been the best time of her life. She had made great friends—Katana, Bumblebee, Poison Ivy, Hawkgirl, and the rest. Her classes had taught her more than she could ever imagine. She had learned new flying and fighting skills, but there was more. Wonder Woman had come to understand that in the battle of good versus evil, going solo was always the last option. Having friends and associates you could count on made rescues and saves so much easier—and more fun.
Yes, her time at Super Hero High had been perfect. Well, almost. Okay, there were the jokes that Harley played on her to get a reaction for HQTV. And then there were those threats and unsigned messages. She had been getting more and more of them lately. Her mother didn’t need to know about that.
“With all due respect, I do belong here, Mother,” Wonder Woman said. “Please—let me stay.”
“I’ve seen my share of HQTV videos,” Hippolyta noted. “Instead of acting like an Amazon princess, you come off looking, well, dare I say it? Silly. Yes, silly. Wonder Woman, you are supposed to be the Ambassador for Paradise Island. And this last video?”
Principal Waller stepped forward and started to speak, but Wonder Woman jumped in first. “The classes and training here at Super Hero High are amazing. One thing we are learning is to have fun with our abilities and to be ourselves. I’ve gained so much knowledge in a very short time. This is where I belong, Mother.”
Hippolyta winced. Seeing this, Wonder Woman added, “I will return to Paradise Island someday, I promise. But for now, I want to go to Super Hero High. I need to go to Super Hero High. There is a great big world outside Paradise Island, and it needs me. Mother, since I was a little girl, you have instilled in me the value of being a great hero. You have told me that it is our mission to help save the world. By being here, I am learning about that world. How can I save something I know nothing about?”
Wonder Wo
man could not read her mother’s stoic expression.
“Please,” she added softly.
Now it was Principal Waller’s turn.
“Hippolyta, hijinks are normal for super heroes this age—all teenagers, in fact. Nothing Wonder Woman has done has broken any rules of the school or harmed anyone. These kids aren’t that different from non–super teens, other than the fact that they are gossiped about in the press and cameras seem to always be on them.”
“She said ‘YIKES!’ ” Hippolyta reminded the principal. “She goofed off at school.”
“Yes, and she’s also made incredible strides as a super hero, though there are no videos of that. And if you hadn’t seen Harley Quinn’s HQTV, you wouldn’t have known about Wonder Woman’s missteps. I’m sure you participated in your share of antics when you were a teen.”
Wonder Woman thought she saw her mother flinch—she couldn’t believe it.
Principal Waller continued, “The main difference between then and now is that there weren’t cell-phone cameras in everyone’s hands to record what we were up to. I’m not saying that Wonder Woman should goof off. But what I am saying is that these kids have even more pressure on them to succeed here.”
“As they should,” Hippolyta said. “These teens are role models. They are the super heroes of tomorrow.”
“Exactly,” Principal Waller agreed. “Exactly. Of tomorrow. But for today, let them dance, let them make mistakes, let them be kids. We all know the pressures that will be on them once they leave Super Hero High. There will be little time for fun and frivolity. Saving the world is serious business. Won’t you let Wonder Woman stay with us for a while? I promise to keep an eye on her.”
The room was silent except for a slight buzzing.
Finally, Hippolyta’s face softened. “I will give you another chance, Wonder Woman,” her mother said, gathering her daughter in her arms. “Forgive me for doubting you. You have never been anything but true.”
Wonder Woman returned her mother’s hug, melting into her arms, before they let each other go and stood up straight.
Hippolyta turned to Principal Waller, “I need assurances that my daughter will be well-behaved, in accordance with her upbringing as a princess and a hero. Can you tell me what you will do to assure that?”
Principal Waller nodded. “Starting this afternoon, I will recommend that Wondy, er, Wonder Woman, see Dr. Jeremiah Arkham, our school counselor. He deals with many of our students and can be instrumental in keeping her on track. If once a week is not enough, we can bump it up to two or even three times a week. It will also give Wonder Woman an opportunity to discuss her feelings and successes and failures with a trained professional.”
Hippolyta turned to Wonder Woman. “Dearest daughter, it is hard for me to let you go. You are my heart and soul. But I cannot be happy unless you are. If I have your word that you will try your best to represent Paradise Island and that you will follow Principal Waller’s guidance, then you may stay.”
Wonder Woman tried hard not to bounce up and down. She could stay! She could stay! She could stay!
“Yes, Mother,” Wonder Woman said in the most solemn voice she could muster.
She could stay! She could stay! She could stay!
Hippolyta gave her the look. The one that said, Wait, I’m not done yet. “Wonder Woman, I am putting my trust in you, in Principal Waller, and in Super Hero High. Do you have anything else to say?”
Wonder Woman thought for a moment, and then brightened. “Yes! Roses. Coffee. Snack. Meal. Whatever.”
When Wonder Woman and her mother left the principal’s office, Bumblebee was in the hallway, leaning against a locker and looking guilty. She waved to Wonder Woman and quickly flew away.
After Wonder Woman walked her mother outside, they embraced. Wonder Woman did not want to let go. She wanted to cry. She had been so busy at Super Hero High that she had forgotten how much she missed her mom.
Wonder Woman stood below the Amethyst statue that had welcomed her to Super Hero High and watched her mother fly away. Nearby were Cyborg and Barbara Gordon. It looked like they were telling secrets, but then Barbara took out a screwdriver and other tools and began to tinker with Cyborg’s head.
Wonder Woman turned back to the clouds, but by then her mother was gone.
“She’s really amazing,” someone said.
Wonder Woman was surprised to find Barbara Gordon standing next to her. Wonder Woman had noticed her around the school more and more lately. Barbara had been the one to show Wonder Woman how to access her locker, and recently The Wall had hired Barbara as the school’s tech expert.
“Thanks,” Wonder Woman said. “She is amazing.”
“I was just fixing Cyborg’s internal circuitry,” Barbara said, sitting down on the grass. “Sometimes when he gets upset, his brain starts to misfire, and it gives him a killer headache.”
“Sometimes I get headaches,” Wonder Woman said, letting out a sigh.
“Really?” Barbara asked.
Wonder Woman tried to smile. “It can be hard being the daughter of a queen. So many people expect so much from you.”
“Tell me about it,” Barbara said. She tightened the laces on her blue sneakers. “My dad is Police Commissioner Gordon.”
Wonder Woman nodded. Everyone knew who he was. He taught Forensics and Law Enforcement and You, a class Wonder Woman was looking forward to taking next semester.
“He wants me to have a job that’s not dangerous,” Barbara said. “Something safe, which translates to something boring.”
“What do you want to do?” Wonder Woman asked.
Barbara’s face lit up. “I want to fight crime,” she said in a rush. “But I need to learn how to do that.”
“Maybe you could go to school here,” Wonder Woman suggested. “Principal Waller already knows you.”
Barbara let out a laugh. Unlike Harley’s laugh, which was loud and boisterous, hers was light and warm. “That’ll be the day,” Barbara said. “I’m a regular girl, not a super hero. I don’t have any powers.”
“You’re a tech wizard,” Wonder Woman pointed out.
Barbara stood up, still laughing. “You’re so funny, Wonder Woman. Thanks for that!”
Wonder Woman watched Barbara Gordon walk back into the building. She could be a super hero, Wonder Woman thought. Isn’t Super Hero High all about potential?
“What makes you think you can save the world?”
Wonder Woman squirmed in the overstuffed armchair and looked back at Dr. Arkham. His eyes were huge. He had a lot of gray hair, all of which resided on his chin in the form of a bushy beard, leaving the top of his head gloriously bald and shiny.
“It’s something I’ve always known I can do,” Wonder Woman said earnestly.
“Hmmm,” Dr. Arkham replied, writing on his yellow notepad. He adjusted his heavy round glasses before asking her a battery of questions.
Wonder Woman answered as quickly and honestly as she could.
“Red.”
“Cereal.”
“Birds.”
“Mom.”
“Collywobbles.”
“Itsy-bitsy.”
“Steve.”
“Boils.”
“Karaoke.”
She was exhausted by the time she was done. As Dr. Arkham scribbled on his notepad, Wonder Woman surveyed his dark, dusty office. There were several photos of him shaking hands with famous super heroes, a life-sized suit of armor, and towering piles of books everywhere. On his desk were a collection of globes, a dusty old typewriter, and a partially finished jigsaw puzzle of the human brain.
“Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” Dr. Arkham asked.
“Yes, well, I think someone is out to get me…,” Wonder Woman began.
“Hmmm…interesting,” Dr. Arkham murmured. “So! Have I told you about the new book I’m writing?”
Wonder Woman nodded. He had indeed told her about The Mind and Manners of the Adolescent Super Hero, Volum
e Five. Twice.
“No? Well, it’s called The Mind and Manners of the Adolescent Super Hero, Volume Five. You don’t mind if I use some of what you’ve told me in it do you?”
“Um, I’d rather you not…,” Wonder Woman began.
“Great! Okay, yes. I’ll use some quotes from you. But don’t worry, I won’t use your real name. We’ll give you a moniker. Something catchy. How’s that?”
“Well…”
“How about Wonderful Woman? Yes! That’s it.”
“It’s not really what I would have picked,” Wonder Woman said. “And you’re probably better off leaving me out of your books. The Amazonian lawyers are warriors. Literally. You should see the damage they can inflict with just the threat of a lawsuit.”
Dr. Arkham swallowed hard. For once, it seemed that he understood what Wonder Woman was saying.
“So, Wonderfu—er, I mean, Wonder Woman, tell me why you’re here.”
“I’ve made some mistakes,” she admitted. “Harley says I’ve been sort of a glorious goofball and a ratings bonanza, and I guess I’m a little stressed. There are so many classes and tests, and there never seems to be enough time to fit everything in. Plus there’s that person who’s been threatening me.”
Dr. Arkham nodded and stroked his beard. There was a long silence, and then he said, “You should stop being stressed.”
“Oh, okay,” Wonder Woman said. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
“Here,” Dr. Arkham said, rising and handing her a pile of books. “You’re going to love these.”
Wonder Woman looked down at The Mind and Manners of the Adolescent Super Hero, volumes one, two, three, and four.
“Read those before our session next week, and learn how to relax. I know! How about joining some clubs? Yes! Great idea. And try yoga! Relax,” he said. “R-E-L-A-X!”
