by Lisa Yee
Before she left, Dr. Arkham stood up. They were the same height. “Wonder Woman,” he said, taking off his glasses. She was surprised to see that his eyes now looked normal-sized. “You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Classic overachiever, that would be you. There will be plenty of time to save the world, but right now I want you to take care of yourself.”
Wonder Woman nodded, not quite sure what he meant.
That night, as she sat on her bed surrounded by books, Wonder Woman added to her to-do list:
* Don’t stress
* Relax
* Read four volumes of The Mind and Manners of the Adolescent Super Hero
* Join clubs
* Learn yoga
Wonder Woman was great at most things. Relaxing was not one of them. Yoga made her tense. She struggled to get through The Mind and Manners of the Adolescent Super Hero, volumes one, two, three, and four, which she found stressful, especially since Dr. Arkham tended to repeat himself as much in print as he did in person. However, Wonder Woman did enjoy checking out all the clubs on campus.
She had noticed that Poison Ivy often hid in the back of the room or got quiet when the other girls where talking up a storm, so Wonder Woman invited her plant-loving pal to join her.
“Ivy, didn’t you tell me that Principal Waller said you should join at least one club? I’m going look into what’s out there. Plus it’ll be fun finding out what interests everyone!” Wonder Woman said.
“I’m not so sure.” Poison Ivy hesitated. She nervously tugged on her red hair, causing her ivy weave to go askew. “What if they ask a lot of questions?”
“We’ll be the ones asking the questions,” Wonder Woman assured her. “We’re just going to find out what each club is about and decide if we want to join any.”
“Do we have to join them?” Poison Ivy asked. As they walked, she kept stopping to encourage trees to grow. She knew all the plants by name. “That’s Katie, and she’s a sunflower, and that’s Benny. He’s a ficus benjamina….” She knew how to care for each one.
“We don’t have to join any club we don’t want to,” Wonder Woman assured her friend. “And you don’t have to talk at all if you don’t feel like it. If you have a question, you can tell me and I’ll ask for you.”
Poison Ivy looked relieved.
Some Supers were sitting in trees. Others were hiding in the bushes. They were very, very quiet. Most had binoculars, though a few used their more-than-perfect vision to spot the birds.
“We meet once a week,” Hawkgirl whispered as she explained the Bird-Watchers Club to Wonder Woman and Poison Ivy. “Each of us has one of these.” She held up an orange notebook. “We record the birds we see.”
“Like that one?” Wonder Woman said, pointing to a small pink polka-dotted bird perched on a pinecone still attached to a tree.
There was an almost silent commotion as the bird watchers trained their eyes and their binoculars in unison on the bird.
“The Spotty Dotty is so rare,” Hawkgirl whispered, “that even experts have doubted its existence!”
Green Lantern handed an application to Wonder Woman. “We would be honored if you would join the Bird-Watchers Club,” he said softly. “It’s the best club on campus.”
She cleared her throat and glanced sideways at Poison Ivy, who was standing next to her.
“Oh! And you, too, uh…Patty,” he said.
“Poison,” she corrected him. “I’m Poison Ivy. We have Weaponomics together. I sit next to you.”
“Ha, ha! Yes, of course,” he said, looking embarrassed. “I hope you join, too.”
Wonder Woman handed over her completed application. Poison Ivy respectfully declined to join.
At the MUP Club, Starfire and Beast Boy were showing the group a floating chart of territories in the solar system.
“This is us,” Starfire said, pointing to Earth.
“And this is everyone else,” Beast Boy added, waving his arms in the air. “MUP stands for Model United Planets.” In a conspiratorial tone, he added, “I’m the representative from Earth.” He pointed to Starfire. “She’s representing the Planet Tamaran.”
Starfire nodded. Her intergalactic alien voice was so soft, everyone leaned forward to hear her. “Earth is not the only planet in the solar system. There are actually nine planets in total–so glad they let Pluto back in—and in the universe, there are about five hundred billion galaxies, which means there are approximately fifty sextillion habitable planets. I hope to discover some new ones one day.”
“This is so exciting!” Wonder Woman exclaimed. “Will you be learning about each and every one?”
“As many as we have time for,” Beast Boy assured her.
Poison Ivy poked Wonder Woman’s arm. “All these clubs are overwhelming. They’re making me nervous. I don’t think I can handle this.”
Wonder Woman handed over her completed application. Poison Ivy respectfully declined to join.
Harley Quinn could be heard before they even entered the Speech and Debate Club room. She was standing on a desk yelling at Katana, who was standing on another desk.
“You’re wrong!” Harley cried.
“No, you’re wrong!” Katana shot back.
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Harley said.
“I know more than you do!” Katana informed her.
“What’s the topic?” Wonder Woman asked.
Both girls looked surprised to see her and Poison Ivy standing in the room.
“The topic?” Harley asked, doing a backflip off the desk. “Hey, Katana, what were we debating this time?”
Katana jumped down and did a kick spin. “That you were wrong and I was right,” she said, sporting a mischievous grin.
“Is it always like this?” Poison Ivy asked meekly.
Katana shook her head. “No, sometimes we get loud and angry.”
“You two should join,” Katana said. “Tell them, Harley.”
“She’s right,” Harley agreed. It was hard to believe she and Katana had been arguing just minutes earlier. “We debate, and we also give speeches and compete with teams from other schools. It’s fun!”
“Fun?” Poison Ivy asked.
“YES!” Katana and Harley said in unison. Poison Ivy flinched.
Wonder Woman handed over her completed application. Poison Ivy respectfully declined to join.
And so it went with every club. Wonder Woman eagerly joined, finding each club more fascinating than the one before it. When they got to the last one on their list, Poison Ivy had yet to join any.
“Science Club,” Wonder Woman announced as they entered the lab.
Poison Ivy’s eyes lit up when she saw the glimmering test tubes bubbling with brightly colored liquids. Most students were hunched over microscopes.
“What are you looking at?” Poison Ivy asked.
Frost sighed as if bothered. “I’m looking at you right now, interrupting me,” she said, returning to her experiment. She grinned when the ordinary glass of water in front of her suddenly crystallized and grew into a sharp ice dagger.
“Sorry.” Poison Ivy blinked back her surprise. “Excuse me,” she said. “I was just curious.”
“What kinds of things do you do in this club?” Wonder Woman asked. She peered at the petri dishes. Some were full of fuzz. Others had what looked like tiny green lumps growing in them. One had a miniature ocean in it, complete with waves and cliffs.
Poison Ivy was admiring the plants on the windowsill.
“We do all sorts of science experiments,” Cyborg explained. “I’ve been studying the effects of lightning on the computer chip in my brain, and Frost has been trying to come up with a new freeze capsule that, when dropped into water, can create winter.”
“Do you do much with plants?” Poison Ivy asked.
“All the time,” Cyborg said as Wonder Woman studied him. He was a truly fascinating combination of technology and humanity. Cyborg, quite literally, was half human and
half machine. Wonder Woman was having trouble figuring out which part was which.
“We all do our own experiments, set our own goals, and record our own results,” Cyborg continued, oblivious to Wonder Woman’s staring. “However, we exchange ideas and suggestions, and the last half hour of every club meeting is devoted to sharing what we have learned.”
“May I have an application?” Poison Ivy asked, surprising Wonder Woman.
“Sure,” Cyborg said. “We’d love for you to join us. What about you, Wonder Woman? Can we interest you in science?”
“We’re both joining,” Wonder Woman enthused. Frost handed Poison Ivy an icicle to use to sign her name. “Principal Waller will be thrilled with your choice, Ivy!”
Of the many clubs she had joined, Wonder Woman was most fond of the Science Club. She got to watch Poison Ivy blossom. Though usually quiet, Poison Ivy did not hesitate to speak up to her fellow science lovers. They shared ideas and experiments, and Wonder Woman noticed that even Star Sapphire, who was hard to impress, was taking note of Poison Ivy’s savvy in the science room. Plus, no one flinched when Poison Ivy’s modified interplanetary plants began to explode, causing mayhem and chaos across the school as the green plant pods rolled into the hallway like live grenades. By the end of the second week, they were used to this.
“I love it!” Harley chortled as she captured it for HQTV. “Poison Ivy,” she shouted through the smoke. “Who knew that behind that quiet facade you were made for the media?”
By now, all the students were used to Harley and her video camera. Some preened when the red light was on, and others ignored it. Most just went about their business. However, Wonder Woman was being very careful, lest her mother see her behaving in a manner she wouldn’t approve of. Wonder Woman knew she had been given a second chance, and she wasn’t about to blow it.
Overachiever that she was, Wonder Woman loved high school and found a way to ace her classes, attend club meetings, volunteer at the alien animal shelter, and have a social life. Her strategy was simple: she just didn’t sleep. Even Dr. Arkham had to agree that Wonder Woman was doing well at Super Hero High, though he credited it to his books and their weekly sessions.
The first time Wonder Woman fell asleep while he was talking, Dr. Arkham was insulted. The second time, he fell asleep, too. The third time they both fell asleep, and it went unspoken that this was to be their routine. The benefits were instantaneous! When their hour was up, both awoke refreshed and felt better than ever.
“Well, that worked!” Dr. Arkham declared. “I think I’ll write a book called Superpower Naps: The Arkham Method,” he added before dozing off again.
With Wonder Woman’s increasingly astronomical proficiency in Flyers’ Ed, most had forgotten her ill-fated first flight in class. Though her flying was not as stylish as Star Sapphire’s, or as athletic as Hawkgirl’s, or as acrobatic as Bumblebee’s, Wonder Woman had a flair all her own. Strong and no-nonsense—no fancy flips or show-offy moves. Instead, she nailed each test with the accuracy and efficiency of an expert.
In Weaponomics, Wonder Woman proved to be a master with her with lasso, having reined in adversaries and mythological beasts since she was a toddler. Gaining control over her new deflecting bracelets took some practice. Once, when she was blocking lasers, the beams ricocheted off the bracelets and accidentally cut off the power to the school.
“Aim! Make sure your aim is accurate!” Lucius Fox yelled, jumping up and down.
The next time, under Mr. Fox’s direction, Wonder Woman purposely shut down the school’s power. Her teacher nodded in appreciation, then gave Barbara Gordon the all clear to get the school up and running again.
Heroes Throughout History proved to be endlessly fascinating. Learning about those who had helped save the world before her time often left Wonder Woman speechless and starry-eyed. Liberty Belle wove her history lessons into the most amazing true tales, and encouraged her students to share their stories as well.
Hawkgirl spoke of her parents, now deceased, and her Abuela Muñoz in Venezuela. Star Sapphire bragged about her high-achieving family. Golden Glider talked about her brother, plus a distant cousin who had discovered a previously unknown solar system. Katana honored her Japanese non–super hero parents and her Samurai super hero grandmother.
“Yes, super heroes can skip a generation,” Liberty Belle explained. “There could even be a dormant super hero gene in someone’s lineage. Many people don’t know their full potential until they are faced with a crisis. Conversely, just because someone has superpowers, that doesn’t mean they will become a super hero.”
In phys ed, Wildcat was tough on his students. He had to be. Strength and agility were important components of being a super hero. On any given day, some could be seen tossing trucks back and forth, while others were running the fifty-mile obstacle course—dodging lasers, swimming with hungry sea serpents, and bounding over a huge hill of angry termites. Meanwhile, still others sat focused on the floor as they were pelted with taunts and threats.
The last was the hardest for the Supers. For, as Wildcat explained, “It’s not just physical strength that makes a stellar super hero. It’s mental strength as well. You must learn to focus, to home in on your target, and to not let anyone or anything, anything, distract you. Self-control is your biggest challenge.”
Wonder Woman excelled in all these classes. She’d even heard rumblings that she was guaranteed a spot on the Super Triathlon team. Was that the reason The Wall had recruited her?
The only class Wonder Woman worried about was Intro to Super Suits. Though there was still time before her final costume was due, Wonder Woman had been working tirelessly, and it was almost complete. She was hoping to get extra credit for turning it in early. Wonder Woman loved extra credit—it was something they didn’t have on Paradise Island.
“That is so unique,” Star Sapphire said. “It’s totally you!”
Wonder Woman looked up at her partner and smiled. She admired her sense of style, so to hear something like that from Star Sapphire was the ultimate compliment.
“Thank you times a billion!” Wonder Woman said.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Star Sapphire added.
“No one has,” Golden Glider said coolly.
“It’s to die for,” Cheetah purred.
“Totally,” Star Sapphire added.
“Oh, Star Sapphire, thank you! You’ve been such an inspiration!” Wonder Woman said, smiling widely.
Star Sapphire smiled as her violet ring glowed.
It was she who had suggested that Wonder Woman embrace the retro look. “Big jewelry. Everything big. Over-the-top big.”
“I just knew we’d become friends,” Wonder Woman said. “Even though some Supers say you’re a snob, I never believed them! Your advice and opinions mean so much to me!”
“Thanks?” Star Sapphire said.
“I thought maybe you hated me and my designs,” Wonder Woman continued. “But that’s not true, is it?”
Star Sapphire gave Wonder Woman a warm smile. “I’m sorry if I was harsh on you,” she said, lowering her eyes. “I’m often misunderstood.”
“Oh!” Wonder Woman exclaimed, tearing up. “I’m the one who’s sorry.” She opened her arms for an embrace. “Friends?”
Star Sapphire gave her a huge hug. “Friends!” she said.
“Ladies, sorry to interrupt your hug fest,” Crazy Quilt said, strolling over to them. His oversized multicolored sunglasses hid most of his face, and he carried his jaunty orange beret in his hands lest he fall victim to that scourge of stylish men and women the world over: hat hair. “What have we here?”
Wonder Woman smiled and pointed to the worktable. “My super hero costume,” she said, glowing. “Would you like to see it?”
“In time, in time,” Crazy Quilt assured her. He became distracted by his own image in the mirror. “Time? That reminds me!”
Instead of continuing his critiques on How to Wear Your Weapons, Crazy Qui
lt pulled the screen down and treated the Supers to a “meticulously curated collection of my photos when I was a top student at the prestigious FISH—the Fashion Institute of Super Heroes!”
The first photo showed a youthful Crazy Quilt wearing cut-off jeans, a tie-dyed T-shirt, and lots of colorful plastic beads around his neck. He wore a green Day-Glo headband around his massive head of curly dark brown hair.
As the slide show went on and on, and on and on, featuring Crazy Quilt’s greatest fashion hits through the years, Katana sidled up to Wonder Woman. “Your costume is done already?” she whispered. “That was fast. You still have over a month left before it’s due.”
“I couldn’t wait,” Wonder Woman said, lowering her voice. “Star Sapphire says she’s never seen anything like it before!”
Katana squinted in the darkened room and scrutinized the outfit on the table.
“Hmmm…try it on,” Katana whispered to Wonder Woman. “We’re due for a break, and if Crazy Quilt doesn’t give us one soon, we’ll all die of boredom.”
“Okay!” Wonder Woman said, eager to show off her creation. She had studied all the super hero costumes through the years and worked hard to bring the best of everything together.
“I am so sorry,” Crazy Quilt said, turning the lights back on and waking everyone up. “But that’s the end of Crazy Quilt’s photos for today—as you see before you, in all its glory and grandeur, the iconic look I finally settled on.” He held up his hands to ward off the applause that hadn’t started yet. “We’ll take a ten-minute breather and then get back to how to wear your weapons with panache!”
When Wonder Woman came out of the bathroom stall wearing her costume, Katana, who normally had a lot to say, was speechless.
“Well?” Wonder Woman said proudly. “What do you think?”
“Star Sapphire said she liked this?” Katana asked. Wonder Woman nodded. “Wondy, I think she’s led you astray.”
