The School of Flirting

by S. B. Sheeran

  Once again we made our way to the Coleman building basement. This time we were on time and not nervous at all. Everyone was there already, except Jane and her roommate, and there was a general feeling of excitement in the air. I talked to Melanie briefly about Women’s Studies while we waited for the last two students, but eventually Melanie decided we had to get class started without them. Leann looked slightly crestfallen but grabbed two muffins to mollify herself and settled into one of the folding chairs.

  “Okay girls! Today’s lesson is on eye contact. If you did your homework, you’ve observed students all over campus using body position to flirt and you might have noticed that eye contact is involved. In fact, it is crucial. Last week we talked about how we can have a nonverbal conversation using body positioning. Think of eye contact as the phone ringing. Yes, Pauline?”

  “But don’t we use eye contact the whole time we are flirting?”

  “Yes absolutely. But we’re going to break it down into specific intentions: Connection, Suggestion, Invitation. We’ll cover that later in the course. Right now, we are starting at the beginning: Eye contact as the call that gets the conversation started. Have you ever felt someone looking at you? It is a call to attention. You look over and bam! The call is picked up and the nonverbal communication begins. But this isn’t a one way conversation. It’s a call and response. Message sent and message received.”

  Leann and I looked at each other gleefully. That was exactly what we thought! Maybe this wasn’t going to be as hard of a lesson as I had thought. Only, just then the door opened. It was Jane and…

  I jumped out of my seat, shocked to the core. “Sachiko Mimura!?!”

  Chapter 6

  Sachi

  …

  Leann gasped and for half a second Sachiko looked shocked too, but then she smoothed down her sleek black hair and addressed the class.

  “I’m sorry we are late and for the interruption.” Her sharp glance shot to me as if to say you. You are the interruption.” I sat down immediately. My mind reeled with this crazy situation.

  Melanie looked momentarily confused and looked back and forth between the four of us. I dropped my gaze to floor and prayed she wouldn’t ask. Apparently it worked. “Uh, no problem. Sachi, Jane, take a seat. We just got started.”

  I couldn’t concentrate during the rest of the lesson. My mind was absolutely reeling. What was Sachiko –‘Sachi’ doing here?? This girl had been a pain in my butt only my entire life. One of the major perks of starting college was that Sachi was finally out of my daily life. And now that I was on the other side of the globe? I found myself sitting right next to her again? Ugh!

  Sachi is a classic Japanese beauty; willowy and graceful, with porcelain fair skin and long pin straight hair that is so black it shines blue in the sun. She also seems to wield an iron fisted control over the world. Yes, of course I’m exaggerating but if you’d spent as many years with her as I have, you’d start to feel the same way. Her clothes are never wrinkled. The wind only blows her hair in a flattering direction. It wouldn’t dare rain on her birthday or any other event she cares about. Maybe it’s just luck… but I think nature is afraid of her. I know I am.

  I tuned back in to class just in time to hear Melanie call my name. “Mina and…Sachi. Let’s get you two up here!”

  What?? NO! My brain screamed. I’m not prepared. I don’t want to be unprepared in front of Sachi!

  “Psst!” I whispered frantically at Leann as I bent to put my coffee cup at the foot of our folding chairs. “What are we doing??”

  “Flirting!”

  “Yes but how??”

  “Make eyes at each other!” Leann was grinning from ear to ear. I turned to find Melanie waving me over. “Quick quick, Mina. You stand here and face away from Sachi. Great. Now on the count of three, turn, face each other and begin. One…two…three!” I turned slowly to face Sachi and sighed deeply. She was glaring at me. I looked down and away quickly, but then forced myself to return her stare. This was an exercise in eye contact and I was not failing flirt school because of her!

  “Umm,” Melanie interrupted. “let’s try to add a bit of body positioning… remember we are trying to send and receive a flirty message. Sachi, maybe uncross your arms? And Mina…” Melanie gently pushed my spine straighter and tipped my chin up, but again I found myself looking at the floor.

  “Ok. Um. Well, I can tell you are both putting a lot of energy into this and that’s great! But it is coming off a little bit too intense... It almost seems like you’re ready to get a divorce before your first date!” The class giggled and Sachi gave an exasperated huff. As for me, I was wishing the floor would swallow me up. “Don’t worry girls! It just takes practice. I understand you are both from Japan so maybe there are some cultural hurdles too. Okay. Have a seat for now and let’s get the next pair up here!”

  Class continued on and we moved from eye contact to initial conversations. Melanie playfully reminded us that once we had started that initial contact we were going to have to follow through! There were sample conversations and more partner practice. I was paired up with the incredibly shy Pauline and we practically read the examples from the whiteboard at each other. All the while I was thinking: should I quit? I wanted to flirt but…did I want to avoid Sachi more than I wanted to flirt? I wanted a girlfriend or maybe just a hot fling for my semester abroad. Would it be worth it, knowing Sachi was the price?

  Clapping her hands, Melanie got our attention. “Alright my girls! This week you have another field assignment. You’ll be going out in pairs and putting your new found skills to the test! Each of you will use your nonverbal communication to get the attention of an attractive stranger, then follow up with an opening conversation.” All the students began to gasp and talk amongst themselves. Melanie held up her hand, “Yes. Yes. I know it sounds scary. But you can do this! You have all the tools you need. And your partner will be there to support you! We are not alone in this, ladies!” Smiling half-heartedly I looked over at Leann. At least we could have fun on this assignment together. Or at least that was what I was thinking until Melanie started assigning pairs.

  “…Mina and…Sachi. Let’s keep you two together. Lastly, Jane with Leann. Okay! Those are our partner pairs. I’ve left a few minutes in class so that you can swap phone numbers and start your planning. Good luck everyone!”

  Frozen in my seat, Melanie’s voice rang in my mind. Mina and Sachi. We were stuck together. Let’s keep you two together. It was like some sort of nightmare. Now I couldn’t even quit flirt school because Sachi would hunt me down and drag me back so that she would have a minion to do her bidding.

  “Hisashiburi, Yamadasan.”

  I bowed automatically and returned the greeting.

  Chapter 7

  Doubts

  …

  After exchanging cell numbers and nailing down a time and meeting place, Sachi and I broke apart immediately. We didn’t do any elaborate planning, and we certainly didn’t hang around to chit chat. Sachi double checked that I had written down the date correctly, then slung her bag over her shoulder and walked out a backward glance. Everyone else was still busy talking with their partners. I could have gone home solo but that I wanted to wait for Leann, so I helped put the chairs away and pack up the snack table. I went down to the bathroom to tip out the hot water thermos and by the time I got back Jane had gone and Leann demolishing the last muffin while she waited for me. She was grinning from ear to ear.

  “What amazing luck!” She effervesced. “I cannot believe I got paired with Jane. She looks like ginger spice but without all the trashy eye shadow. And what was with you and her roommate? How did you meet her already?”

  “This is the worst day of my life.” I moaned while dragging my feet up the stairs.

  “Huh?”

  “Leann! That’s Sachiko. Don’t you recognize her?”

  Leann stopped in her tracks and blinked like a confused fruit bat. “From…middle school? No way…”

&
nbsp; I nodded despondently.

  “Oh, ugh, she was such a pain during the school play. And in marching band.... And on field day.” Then Leann started to laugh. “But you aren’t holding that old stuff against her, are you? So what if she was a bossy little kid. It’s been years. I’m sure she’s changed.”

  “You don’t understand how awful this is! You moved away but I was stuck with her!”

  “For what? Two more years?”

  “Three.” I groused.

  “You might want to reevaluate this situation. Did you even notice how gorgeous she is?”

  “Pshh” I waived her off. “Sachi has always been beautiful.”

  “Oh yeah?” Leann said in a sly tone and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

  “What is that? What are you doing with your eyebrows?”

  “That’s my silly eye contact message that says ‘so you’ve always thought she was hot!’”

  “Ugh Leann! You are not taking me seriously!”

  “Fine. Fine. Let’s be serious. But only for a minute. Then I get to go back to dancing around and fantasizing about Jane. So being paired with Sachi is the worst thing ever. Now what? Are you going to skip doing your field assignment?”

  “No. She would never let that happen. She would blow up my phone? Is that the saying?”

  Leann nodded. “Ok. So then you just have to bite the bullet and get the field assignment done.”

  “I could quit.” I already knew I wouldn’t but I was feeling morose and needed that extra push from Leann.

  “What??? You drag me out to this thing every Thursday for a month and just when I meet someone hot, that I can’t date until we pass the final exams, you go and bail on me?? I don’t think so! Meet with Sachi, finish the assignment and be done with it!” She paused to catch her breath and put a reassuring arm around my shoulders. “Even if it’s horrible, it will be a couple of hours max and then you can come home and cry to me. Okay?”

  There was that extra push. I could always count on Leann. Smiling softly I nodded, “ok.”

  Chapter 8

  Field Assignment

  …

  Sachi and I had agreed to meet on Saturday at the campus bookstore. It opened at eleven o’clock and since I was early, I hung out awkwardly on a bench across the street. I should have gotten coffee or brought a book. Instead, I fussed with my phone and tried not to get nervous. After a few minutes, a slim blonde joined me on the bench. I wondered if she was waiting for the bookstore but I didn’t ask her. Sachi should be here any minute. I checked my phone again. When I looked up, Sachi was standing across the street. She was smiling softly and flipped her in a move that was somewhere between shy and excited. I felt my face begin to heat and I looked down at my feet. Why was she suddenly so attractive? Was Leann right? Subconsciously had I always thought she was hot? And why was Sachi looking at me so sweetly now? Where was her usual fierce glare?

  The blonde next to me stood up, straightened her skit, and then crossed the street. She walked straight over to Sachi. My jaw dropped. Oh. That soft smile wasn’t for me. I watched them talking and my face felt hotter than ever. How ridiculously embarrassing! Mad at myself, I finally broke free of the spell and jumped up from the bench. I had to wait for a few cars to pass and then I crossed to the pair.

  “…here’s my friend now. I have to go but it was really nice meeting you.”

  “Same here. Call me okay?”

  “Ok.”

  As soon as the blonde walked away, Sachi’s smile evaporated and she greeted me with a slight frown. Come on Mina, just get through this. I thought to myself.

  “Hi, Sachi. Was that a friend of yours?”

  “No. I just completed the assignment.”

  “What?!” I whipped around to watch the slim woman walking away. “But..I…”

  “Come on. The store is open. Let’s get your half of the assignment wrapped up.”

  Stunned I followed Sachi into the campus bookstore. She walked away from me as soon as we entered and I checked out the team sweatshirts while scanning the store for someone to make eye contact with. My heart was pounding and my stomach felt sour as if I was planning on robbing the place. It was pretty empty but then I spotted a curvy woman with tons of freckles. Cute. Her red polo was a bit unflattering but who dresses up to go text book shopping?

  I stared at her willing her to look up. But she seemed very focused on what she was doing. I tried rattling the sweater rack a little bit. That did it. She was looking at me! I smiled. Freckles looked away. Now what? Maybe I should have tried that hair flip that Sachi did. Her long fingers sliding through the black ribbons of her hair… that was very entrancing. Sexy.

  Moving closer to the freckled woman in red, I tried to get her attention again. I sighed dramatically and then, when she looked up again, I went for the hair flip. It felt a bit more like my hair fluffed up rather than slipped through my fingers like a sexy waterfall. But she was coming over to me!! It worked I thought excitedly.

  “Hi.”

  “Hi!”

  “Do you need help finding something?”

  Oh no…red polo shirt. She worked here.

  “No..I uh..um…” I stuttered panicking at this monumental fail.

  “Are you sure? You looked a little lost…?”

  That was even worse! Suddenly Sachi rescued me.

  “She was just waiting for me.” She said waving her little bag of newly purchased highlighters. Sachi flashed me a broad smile and scooted me out of the store. Outside, I collapsed against the wall.

  “That was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me!!”

  “Yes, that was complete disaster. We are obviously going to have to find somewhere easier for you.”

  “…Really? You are going to help me?”

  “Of course I am! This is a pair assignment. I’m not done until you are.” Sachi grabbed me by the wrist and hauled me off down the street.

  “Where are we going?”

  “The student lounge. It’s almost lunch time and I’m hungry. Besides there are bound to be a ton of people in the outdoor café.”

  She was right about the crowds. It was an unusually hot spring day and the student body was out in droves. Everywhere I turned there were groups of guys and girls talking and sharing lunch. I desperately hoped my next attempt didn’t go as badly as my first try. Sachi and I got in line and we both picked club sandwiches but she smacked my hand and told me to put it back.

  “Work first, food second! How are you supposed to pick up girls with your mouth full of bread??” She pushed a mango smoothie and a straw into my hands instead. “Drinking is sexy. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Let me see you do it.”

  It felt strange having her watch me so intensely but I slowly put the straw to my lips. We locked eyes as I took a small sip. Mmm pretty good. I licked my lips. Was Sachi blushing?

  “That’s fine” she said, turning away swiftly.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To sit alone and enjoy my lunch! No one is going to make eyes at you if you are sitting with me.”

  I think she had a point but that had to be the most insulting way to say it. Sachi had to be the most confusing person I’d ever met. She was still just as bossy as she had been as a kid but now… well, it seemed like she was doing it for me. If she wasn’t so pushy maybe I would have given up already. I took my smoothie over to a small table in the sun. Who would make a good target? A blonde with curly hair was reading nearby but she looked too engrossed in the book. I’d never be able to get her attention nonverbally.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket. Sachi was texting me? “Girl in the green tank top.” I looked around and sure enough there was a girl in a bright green tank top and she was looking right at me. I smiled. She smiled back. I felt my heart lift in my chest. Could it really be working? She nudged her glasses up on her nose and smiled a little wider. Yes, yes! I was thinking. I looked over at her, then at the empty chair at my table and then back
at her again. I raised my eyebrows like I wanted to ask the question: Do you want to sit with me? And yes! Oh. My Gosh. She came over!

  Her name is Ruth. We actually share one of our classes but I’d never noticed because I’m always up to my eyeballs in notes. She’s in my history intensive with Mr. Foster; also known as ‘Failing Foster’. We laughed over the nickname and shared horror stories about him terrorizing students. Ruth asked if we could study together sometime. Suddenly I remembered Sachi. She was waiting for me! I promised Ruth I’d catch up with her next class and said goodbye.

  Rushing over to Sachi I started to apologize for taking so long, but Sachi interrupted me. “Congratulations! You did it!”

  I have to admit her enthusiasm completely took me by surprise. I checked her face for some sign of sarcasm but I didn’t see any.

  “Um. Yes. Thank you…Thank you for being my partner.”

  We hung there silently for a bit. How strange, I thought. She seems so approachable right now; not at all bossy or mean. Does she want to hang out longer? Ugh no way! What was I thinking?

  I said “otsukaresama”. It’s just the polite way of ending a work task. But the Japanese snapped us back to our old selves. Sachi said goodbye with a cool distance and I walked away.

  Chapter 9

  Missing You

  …

  On my walk back to the dorms, I thought about Sachi. Was Leann right? Had Sachi actually changed from mean girl to…well, I still wouldn’t say she was one hundred percent nice. I was going to talk the whole situation through with Leann. In fact, I almost started composing a letter in my head. Old habits die hard. But when I walked in and found her asleep on the couch, I got totally sidetracked.