Until Sydney: A Tanner Cycle Novel

by Marissa Dobson

  “You’re so fucking sexy.” He stripped out of his dress slacks and boxers in one quick move, letting them pool around his ankles before kicking them away. “My girl, you’re awful cocky, thinking you can take over. This is my fantasy and I want you stretched out on this desk as I slide my cock deep in your pussy. Now lie back or I’m going to drag this out until you’re fucking begging.”

  She leaned back on her elbows—wanting him right then. “Now you’re too far away.”

  “Not for long.” He grabbed her hips and slid her down the desk so she was barely on the edge. Only the fact that he was pressed up against the front of her kept her from sliding down onto the floor. “How’s that?”

  She reached out and touched his chest, slowly working her way down to his hardness—but the moment she teased along the edge of it, he grabbed a hold of her wrist.

  “Not yet, baby.”

  Her gaze locked on to his. “Let me feel it. I want to wrap my hand around your dick and know that you’re hard because of me.” He let go of her wrist, arching his hips forward so his cock was easier for her to reach. Wrapping her fingers around it, she rubbed down the length, painstakingly slow, teasing just enough that he could feel her caresses without pain. “I love that look in your eyes, the fire that burns within them, as if I’m the one that started it.”

  “You have, Syd. You most fucking certainly have.”

  She squeezed tighter around him as she worked down his length, causing him to let out a deep groan. “As good as this feels, and fuck it does, I want to be inside of you. I want to hear you scream my name as ecstasy engulfs you.”

  “Take me.” Wanting that too, she let her hand fall away from him and leaned back so she was resting on both her elbows, her chest pushed out toward him. “I want you inside me now.”

  He slipped a finger between her folds and she arched up into his touch. “So wet for me.”

  “For you, only you, Coal.” His name came out on a moan as his thumb brushed along her clit. “Please…”

  Without waiting, he adjusted his angle, gliding his cock over her opening, and pulling a moan from her. Slowly, he glided the length of him inside, just a little at first, pulling a moan from deep within her as he worked his way inside her tight passage. Halfway in, he stopped and slid out, even as she leaned up and grabbed a hold of his hip, trying to force him to stay. Once he was out, he gripped her hips and slammed his length into her, filling her completely, rocking their bodies back and forth, each thrust gaining momentum.

  She leaned back, hoping to grab the edge of the desk, but with them pressed together, there was nothing but smooth wood to grab. “Coal…” She moaned his name as he grabbed hold of her hips, pulling her down onto his cock and slamming into her. She arched toward him, thrusting her breasts toward him until he bent down and caught her nipple between his teeth. “Coal!” She screamed his name, not yet in orgasm but close to it when his teeth grazed along the sensitive bud.

  With his tongue he drew small circles around the bud, blowing gently on it as he let it slip from between his lips. Without losing his rhythm, he dipped his head to catch the other one between his lips and do the same thing.

  “So fucking beautiful.” His voice sounded strained as if he was close to his own orgasm but was waiting for her to have her release first.

  “Coal,” she whispered, her climax within reach. “Faster, please…”

  He did as she asked, his fingers digging into her hips and causing just enough pressure to be erotic, and sped up his pace. She wrapped her legs around him, locking her ankles together at the small of his back, keeping him from pulling back too far. Tension had her muscles constricting around him as her orgasm neared, urging him to engage an even faster rhythm, and his eyes glazed over with his own ecstasy creeping up on him.

  Arching up toward him, she tangled her fingers in his longer strands, bringing his head down so she could claim his lips. Slipping her tongue in between his lips, she moaned his name as her release found her. With her free hand she raked the skin along the arch of his shoulders, digging her nails into his flesh.

  Then he broke the kiss and slammed into her one final time before leaning forward against her and letting go, filling her. “Fuck, baby.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Somehow, through it all, Sydney began to accept her past to build the future she wanted. Everything that had happened had brought her to this place in her life and this thought was enough to keep her pushing forward. She was happy where she was and with Coal being a part of her life. She’d never expected to end up here but now that she had him, she wasn’t about to let anything divide her from her happiness, especially not her own hang ups or her family.

  After speaking with Betsy, Coal’s aunt, she’d learned that the man she had called Dad all her life wasn’t her biological father. Anthony was the one. Betsy and her mother had been good friends and her mother had confided in her about Anthony and her thoughts about filing for divorce. Thanks to this friendship, Sydney had been able to learn more than she had expected and this gave her some peace. She was more thankful for the past friendship between the women when Coal’s search into Anthony’s past had revealed a bunch of dead ends. He had been left on the church steps as an infant, so there was no family for her to find to prove this latest revelation.

  Even knowing that her father was dead and there was no family to locate, this was enough for her. She embraced Betsy’s news and allowed it to give her a whole new lease on life. Maybe she was willing to believe this fantasy blindly because it was a way to disconnect with her father, Tim, and their crimes. There had been a moment of pain when she realized disconnecting from them would disconnect her from Jay, as well. That was until she remembered everything he had done to get her into this mess. She’d loved Jay but it was just too much and he was gone.

  “I heard you were a hit with Hawk.” Cay strolled toward her, a stack of papers in hand. “From what I hear, he wants to only deal with you in the future and that’s high praise coming from him. Before you, he wouldn’t work with anyone but Coal. Heck, he barely tolerates me.”

  “Talking on the phone to Hawk, I’d have never guessed he had such a sweetheart side to him. He’s an old charmer.”

  “I’d laugh at that comment but Coal told me about it. I’d have said that man didn’t have a sweet ounce in him. I guess it was in hiding until you came along to bring it out.” Cay tossed the papers onto the corner of her desk. “Orders for some of the new projects Cal and I are working on.”

  “I’ll get them done today.” She reached over and slid the papers toward her as he lingered near the desk. “What’s on your mind?”

  “Cain.” The name of the second youngest Tanner brother came out softly as if he was expecting her to shut him down before giving him a chance to voice his concerns. “He’s been closed off from all of us for too long. I’m just…”

  “Worried about him?” she finished when his words died off.

  “Yeah.” He leaned on the corner of her desk. “He doesn’t talk to any of us. Not really.”

  “And you want me to tell you if you should be concerned about him.” She paused for a moment, hoping he’d deny it but he didn’t. “I can tell you he’s not a danger to himself or others. He’s been alone for so long, locked in his own self-imposed prison that part of him seems to have forgotten what it’s like to be around people. He blames himself for what happened and part of the way he’s dealt with it was by withdrawing. He feels he robbed you and Coal of your chance at a carefree young adult lifestyle. Coal was twenty-three and you had just turned twenty-one. The two of you should have been out partying, having a good time. Especially you. Instead, Coal stepped up to take responsibility for his three minor brothers: Cal, Cain, and Cyrus. You were right there with him. The two of you not only raised those boys, but you made this shop a success as well.”

  “It’s what family does. We band together.” Cay made it sound so simple when she knew fi
rst hand that wasn’t always the case. Some families didn’t give a shit about the other members of the family. “What can we do for him?”

  “Give him time.” She placed her hand on Cay’s. “From what I’ve gathered, this is the first time Cain has reached out to anyone since the accident. Don’t force yourself on him. Continue doing what you were doing, visiting him occasionally, but don’t overwhelm him or he’s likely to retreat into himself again. Even when you feel like we’re making no progress, we must continue to move at his pace.”

  “What is it about you that will make him come out of his cabin? He’s willing to confide in you when he shuts the rest of us out.” Cay’s voice sounded almost pained.

  “I’m an outsider.”

  “Bullshit.” Cay pulled his hand out from under hers and rose from where he was perched on the corner of her desk. “You’ve always been part of this family. You and Jay were over for dinner at least twice a week while we were growing up. You were always hanging around. Now…well, let’s just say you’re even more a part of this family. I haven’t seen Coal this happy in years and that’s your doing.”

  “Then maybe Cain is able to speak with me about things he hasn’t been able to with you because…” She paused because suddenly the words that were coming out of her mouth sounded rude and too harsh.

  “Because it wasn’t your father’s head he had on his lap.” Cay stalked toward the window. “After he pulled Mom from the wreckage, he went after your mother. He was just pulling her out of the flames when the fire department showed up. He tried with them but with Dad…”

  “There was nothing he could have done.” Her voice was too soft as she fought the memories that wanted to descend on her. Even as she fought the emotions, she could see the crime scene photos flashing in her mind. Mr. Tanner had been decapitated; she didn’t know what had caused it, but his head had landed in Cain’s lap. She couldn’t picture anything more horrible than to have that happen and her heart went out to Cain. “He did everything he could for both your mom and mine.”

  “But it wasn’t enough. Both ended up dead.”

  “The blame for that falls on Tim, not Cain. My brother is the one who tore apart both our families.” She pushed her chair back from the desk. “Cain could have died that night too but he survived, and for that, we should all be grateful.”

  “I’m grateful.” Coal strolled into the room, his gaze falling on his brother. “Scared but alive.”

  “He retreated from the family because he blames himself for what happened. If he hadn’t knocked the shit out of Nelson after he forced himself on Ginny, your parents wouldn’t have been out that night. Nelson was supposed to give him a ride home after the game and pizza.”

  “Nelson deserved to get his ass kicked.” Cay shook his head. “Besides that Cain isn’t to blame for what happened. Fuck, he could have been killed that night, too. Risking himself, he tried to save the others.”

  “Give him a little time,” Sydney encouraged. “There’s no magic cure for everything he has been through but he’s working through it. I think he wants to make changes, but again I say if you all rush him, then he’s going to get overwhelmed quickly and go back in his shell.”

  “Will you alert us if you think he’s dangerous?” Cay watched her closely.

  “Cay.” Coal’s voice held a touch of warning.

  “What aren’t you telling me?” She pushed, knowing there was something Cay was concerned with but Coal was trying to keep quiet. “Don’t shut me out. If you want my help with this, I need to know. I’ve spent some time with him lately, maybe more time than any of you have recently, so if there’s something I need to be concerned about you need to tell me.”

  “She’s right, Coal. She needs to know.”

  “Damn you, Cay. Why can’t you let this shit go?” Anger filled Coal’s voice as he glared at his brother.

  “Because if there’s a chance she’s right then we have to keep him from acting on his impulses.”

  “Coal?” She rose from the desk and went to stand next to him. “You know me. I’m not going to judge. Hell, I have no right to judge even if I would—look at the shit I’ve come from. We’ve been through a lot together and I care about Cain as much as you do. Let me help.”

  “Get back to work,” he snapped at Cay but his gaze found hers and softened slightly.

  “You need to—”

  “Don’t tell me what I need to do.” He tore his gaze from her to look over at Cay. “You should have spoken with me before coming to Syd.”

  “It wasn’t planned; it just happened.” Cay gave one last look at her as if silently telling her to press the subject until his brother told her the truth, before he strolled out of the office leaving them alone.

  “Coal.” She reached out and placed her hand on his chest. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

  “Do you know what Hawk said about you? He said you were a smooth talker. During that business meeting, you had him like putty in your hands.”

  “I don’t understand what that has to do with Cain.”

  “Not Cain, baby.” He took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. “Me, baby, I’m putty in your hands and when you look at me like that, how can I hide anything from you?”

  “Then don’t hide anything from me. Nothing you tell me is going to scare me away. I love you, Coal, and I care about Cain. Honestly, I never expected to develop such a friendship with him, but something about it seems too easy. If I had developed that with any of your brothers, I would have thought it would have been Cyrus since we were already friendly when we were kids.”

  “But there’s tension between you and Cyrus because he had hoped your arrival here might open a romantic relationship door for the two of you.”

  “I know he thought that but there could have never been anything between us. He’s attractive but my heart has always belonged to another. Now stop trying to change the subject.” She didn’t pull her hand out of his as much as changed the way he was holding it so their fingers interlaced. “Why is Cay so concerned about Cain?”

  “After the accident, Cain was different. There was something dark to him. Anger fueled him until there was nothing else left within him. It got so bad, he couldn’t attend school. We had him on homebound where a teacher would come here and work with him so he would graduate. His anger would send him off like a rocket for no reason and no warning. It was too dangerous to allow him to be around other children. I was concerned about him being around the rest of my brothers, but what could I do? I couldn’t send him away. Instead, I sent him to therapy.”

  “When I speak with him now, I don’t see anger fueling him. He’s lost and there’s a darkness to him but I wouldn’t say there’s rage controlling him.”

  “About a year ago, things started to change and we’ve been trying harder to get him involved in family activities. He’s reserved still but he at least allows us inside the cabin now. Before this, no one besides me could make it past the threshold. He’ll let you know when he’s had enough and then it’s time to go. He’s witnessed too much…” As he stared down at her, his eyes held unspoken sadness and she wrapped her arms around him, offering him what little comfort she could. No words could take away the past or erase the memories that plagued Cain. “The therapist believed his rage would lead him to become dangerous. She was concerned he’d act on the memories and seek revenge, except the person who was responsible was out of reach. Because of that, she believed his rage might strike out at anyone close to him. That it would control him, instead of him controlling it. She recommended we commit him for inpatient therapy, but we’d already lost so much. Before we did something so drastic, we wanted to get a second opinion.”

  “And did you?” she pressed.

  “Yes. Doctor Webster—he’d worked with Cain until he was eighteen, at which time I could no longer force him to continue his therapy. Doctor Webster didn’t agree with the first doctor about Cain being a threat to anyone or
the inpatient therapy route. If Cain is a threat to anyone, it’s to himself. His withdrawal is depriving him of so much but you can’t force someone to participate in life.” He rubbed his hand along the curve of her back. “Cain isn’t a threat to you or I would have never allowed him near you.”

  “You did tell me to stay away from him when we first arrived.”

  “I wasn’t sure how he’d react. I didn’t think he’d attack you, but I was concerned he’d retreat further into himself. Your presence could have served as a trigger to remind him of past trauma.” He tightened his grip around her waist, drawing her closer. “I never dreamed his reaction would have been as it has. You can’t blame me for wanting to protect both of you.”

  “I can’t but I still wish you would have told me how bad things had been with Cain. I don’t know if I’m helping or hurting him by spending time with him.”

  “Helping,” he reassured her. “I’ve seen the two of you together. There’s an ease I wish I had with him. In the last five years, he hasn’t interacted with the rest of us as much he has in the last couple of weeks. Whatever you’re doing is working. Every once in a while, I see a glimpse of the old Cain coming out. Do you have any idea how happy that makes me?”

  “I think so because it makes me happy too. The friendship developing between Cain and me is something that for most people takes years to build but for us it’s happened in a matter of weeks. I never would have suspected something like this could happen. He’s a good man and with all of us by his side I think he can make progress.”

  He took her hand in his and stepped back toward the sofa before taking a seat and quickly pulling her down onto his lap. “It seems like so long ago since I found you in your childhood bedroom, ready to shoot me.”

  “It was only a few months ago.” She settled back against the arm of the sofa so she could look at him and he kept his arm still loose around her waist, his fingers brushing along the curve of her hip.