The Switch

by Heather Justesen

  The days seemed to stretch, lasting far longer than they should have. Finally Tia sat at the computer, logged onto the website and checked her results.

  She stared at the screen for a long moment, stunned.

  There was no biological relationship between her and either of her parents. Though she’d had a niggling thought about this, she hadn’t really believed it. How could it be possible? She couldn’t have been adopted, or her parents would’ve told her when all of this came up—beside that, she had pictures of her mom, dad, uncle, and grandmother all holding her in the hospital, and she had her bracelet from her birth tucked into a scrapbook. Hers and her mother’s hospital bracelets, in fact.

  Tia stood and walked away from the computer, then turned and paced back again. Emotions roiled in her: worry, loss, sadness, and concern for the future. Tears poured down her face as she tried to understand everything. Hadn’t she been through enough with Lee dying? Did this have to happen too?

  Now she had the answers she’d looked for, she didn’t know what to do about it. She had to tell her parents, of course, but she could already see the recriminations, hard feelings, and finger pointing—and that was just her mother. Samantha ran into the apartment with Casey hot on her heels. “Mom, can we go see Danny now? Pleeeease? We’re bored!”

  Tia’s first instinct was to say no, then retreat to her room to curl up in the fetal position. She followed her second instinct, which was to avoid thinking about it entirely. She dabbed at her eyes, trying to keep Samantha from seeing her face clearly. “What a great idea, honey. I’ll call Nichole to see if Casey can go with us.”

  She grabbed her cell phone and headed for the bathroom to check her makeup. She had no idea if Danny was working that day or not—his schedule seemed sporadic and she hadn’t asked about it. Once she had permission from Nichole, she stared at the phone, then called Danny to see if now was a good time.

  “Hi, Tia,” he answered before she could introduce herself. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m well.” Not. “Hey, Samantha wondered if now would be a good time for us to swing by the fire station for the ambulance tour you mentioned. If it’s not, we can arrange another time.”

  “Now would be great. We’re all cleaned up from the last run. With any luck we’ll have a break before the pagers go off again.”

  “We’ll see you in a bit.” She ended the call and touched up her makeup, though she had to pause for a moment to get her emotions back under control. “Nothing has changed. Everything’s exactly the same as it was an hour ago. You just know about it now,” she reminded herself. She didn’t really believe it. Everything seemed different.

  * * *

  Danny looked forward to seeing Tia and the girls again. He’d been tempted to swing by and visit them during the week, but decided he’d need to take things a little more slowly with Tia. She was a bit skittish.

  He’d had his hands full with preparations for the chili cook-off, anyway. Most of the other guys at the station had families or second jobs, so he’d taken on the lion’s share of the planning and organizing—which was fine by him since it kept his mind off other things.

  The sound of little voices wafted through the open garage door and Danny saw Samantha and Casey enter with Tia following behind, Tristi in her arms.

  “Don’t touch anything unless Danny says it’s okay, all right?” Tia told them.

  “We won’t.” Samantha’s voice carried across the ambulance bay and she waved wildly when she saw him. “Hi, Danny. We’ve come to see you!”

  “So I see.” He leaned over and hugged her, then set a hand on Casey’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He could sense Casey was still trying to make up her mind about him, and he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by hugging her. Then he looked into Tia’s eyes, his smile widening. “I’m glad you finally brought them.” He noticed the strain around her mouth, and the slight redness in her eyes, but decided not to comment on it.

  “Thanks for being willing to see us on such short notice.”

  “Anytime.” Feeling the distance she projected, he turned back to the girls and began talking about the ambulance and the kinds of calls they went out on. He took them into the ambulance and pointed out the supplies and equipment and explained what they were all used for. Samantha’s fascination seemed to increase the longer they talked. Casey was not quite as enthusiastic, though she didn’t appear bored, either.

  Next he took them through the building and showed them the bedroom and exercise equipment, then back through the kitchen, introducing them to everyone they passed. Tia hardly spoke a word the whole time, and though he thought she was interested in what he was saying, there were times when her attention wandered and she appeared upset.

  When they finished the tour, he sat the girls at the kitchen table with some popsicles he’d dug out of the freezer—he had no idea where they’d come from, but they’d been there long enough no one would miss them. “Hey, James, can you keep an eye on these ladies for a few minutes while I talk with Tia?”

  James was doing a crossword puzzle and smiled up at him. “Sure. No problem.” He winked and Danny hoped Tia hadn’t seen. The man seriously had no subtlety.

  “It’s okay, I don’t want them to be a burden,” Tia protested.

  “It’s really all right. They’ll take a few minutes with the popsicles anyway,” James insisted.

  “Come on,” Danny grabbed her wrist and gave it a gentle tug. She sent one more worried look at the girls, then followed him out. “Don’t worry about them,” Danny said. “James has a couple kids of his own. He’s great with children.”

  “What did you want to talk about? If it’s about the chili cook-off we could have talked as easily in front of the girls.” She kept her arms crossed over her stomach and didn’t meet his gaze.

  “It’s not.” He stopped her in sight of the kitchen doorway so she’d be comfortable about leaving the girls there, but far enough away to have a private conversation. He looked her in the face. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she denied without hesitation.

  “Tia. I can see something’s bothering you. You’re distracted and upset.” He reached out and set a hand on her shoulder. It was as far as he dared go. “Tell me.”

  Tears started to fall and she wiped at them, looking mortified, but she seemed unable to speak.

  Danny sighed. He’d had a girl for a best friend, so tears were nothing new to him. He didn’t have to like them much, though. He felt an ache of empathy in his chest and pulled her close, tucking her head against him and wrapping one arm around her back. “Hey, let it all out.”

  “This is so embarrassing,” she stuttered between hiccups. “I’ll get makeup on your shirt.”

  “Don’t worry about it. My shirt will wash and I have a spare.” He ran a hand along the silky strands of her hair, giving her a moment to weep before asking again, “What’s going on? Is there anything I can do?”

  She shook her head against his shoulder. “Stupid of me. Not important.” But her renewed sobbing contradicted her words.

  Danny glanced back at the kitchen in time to see James come to the door and look out. Danny waved to him, then maneuvered Tia further away so she wouldn’t upset the girls. Another minute passed and she started to calm. He tried again. “Okay, can you tell me what’s got you so worked up?”

  She took a deep, hitching breath, and let it out, then pulled away from him. He released her with some reluctance. Her lashes sparkled slightly with dampness and mascara was smeared on her cheeks and his shoulder, but he didn’t care.

  Tia took one more slow, deep breath, this time much calmer than before. “I told you I recently found out my mom had cheated on my dad and that’s why they divorced? It all came out because of an argument over blood types and my mom finding out I was the wrong type, which had my dad thinking she’d been cheating on him when I was conceived. It escalated into this big mess where we had DNA tests.”

  “I’m sure it was hard,
but the peace of mind will be worth it.” He pressed her hair back from her face. “Did you get the results?”

  “Yeah. Turns out neither of them are my biological parents.” She stumbled over the last few words, barely getting them out.

  That must have been a shock. He thought she would start sobbing again, but soon she seemed to get it back under control. When he was sure she could answer him, he asked, “Were you adopted?”

  “Don’t you think they would’ve told me if I was adopted?” She hit him in the chest with her fist, but if she was trying to hurt him, it was a pretty lame attempt. “Wouldn’t they have stopped and explained before we sent in cheek swabs?” she continued.

  “Hey, I’m only eliminating the most obvious possibilities.” She was right, of course they would have told her. He just hated seeing her torn apart like this. “I’m sorry. I can understand why you’re so upset. It must be overwhelming.” He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “What did your parents say?”

  She sniffed. “I haven’t told them yet. I found out just before I called you. My mom will have a come-apart. The worst thing is I don’t know what to do. Do I try to find out what happened? Where do I look? Is it going to open a can of worms that will mess up a lot more lives?”

  A couple more tears fell, but she didn’t dissolve into sobs again, so Danny figured it was a step in the right direction. He picked up a lock of her curly hair and played with it. He loved the way it curled around his finger, so soft and shiny. “Don’t think you have to have the answers all right now. You just found out. Give it a day or two to settle before you decide anything.” He settled his hands on her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her forehead. Her skin was soft and her hair held a light floral scent that went straight to his gut.

  “Mom, where are you?” Samantha’s voice rang through the building.

  Tia furiously wiped at her face, smearing the makeup worse. “I’m a mess.”

  “Here, let me show you the bathroom. You can clean up there.” Danny took her around the corner to the bathroom and then walked back to Samantha. “Hey there, girlie. Your mom had to take a pit stop. Are you about ready to go home?” He hated the thought of sending Tia home upset, but it was almost dinnertime and he knew she’d want to get away. She was probably kicking herself for telling him anything in the first place.

  “Yeah, unless you’ll let me ride on the ambulance with you.” She looked hopeful.

  “Sorry, squirt. You’re a little too short, yet. Maybe when you get a bit bigger.” He ruffled her hair and smiled. He loved the hero-worship in her eyes when she looked at him and never wanted it to fade away. She was such an open book, so friendly and trusting, so excited about the world around her. It was refreshing.

  “I’m always too little. I don’t get to do anything.” Her bottom lip popped out as she pouted.

  Danny held in a laugh, remembering Laura taking a similar stance many times over the years. He felt a sharp ache in his chest when he thought of his friend, but swallowed it back, pushed it away. The loss was there all the time, but now was not the time to think about it.

  He could hear Tristi fussing before he reached the kitchen door, so his first move was to swing her into his arms and tickle and tease her back into a good mood. It was no mean feat considering what she really wanted was her mom. Danny had the feeling Tia was going to be a few minutes, though, so he took the girls over to one of the fire trucks and boosted them in, explaining what all of the knobs and buttons were for.

  When Tia re-emerged, she looked quite a bit better, definitely more in control. “Girls, are you ready to go?”

  Tristi immediately stretched out her arms and slid into her mother’s embrace. She began babbling. Danny only understood a few words, but Tia seemed to catch far more of her chatter.

  “Mom, can we come back some time?” Samantha asked.

  Tia met Danny’s gaze and her mouth curved slightly. “I’m sure we’ll be back sometime. In fact, I’m judging a chili cook-off in the parking lot next door in a couple of weeks.”

  “Yay!” Samantha jumped up and down. Casey looked pleased, but wasn’t as enthusiastic.

  It only took a few minutes for Tia to herd the kids back out to the car and get them buckled in. Before she opened her own door, she looked back at Danny. “Thanks for putting up with my tears. I appreciate it. I guess I really needed to get all of it off my chest.”

  “I have broad shoulders. Feel free anytime.” When he realized his eyes had strayed to her mouth, and he was wondering what it would be like to kiss her, he stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets. This was not the right time. Not yet. “I’ll be in touch.”

  “I’m sure you will.” She smiled weakly, then got in the car.

  He watched her pull out of the parking lot, then turned and walked back into the station, determined to keep in touch—and he intended that literally.

  Twelve

  While Tia was making dinner the next night, she called her father and left a message, asking him to pop by when he had a chance. Then she called her mom’s cell—using a code to bypass the call so it would go directly to voice mail. She didn’t want to face a barrage of questions over the phone. She anticipated seeing both of them that evening, but she was still surprised to have her mom show up on her doorstep before dinner was over.

  Mona stood in the doorway, her eyes worried, her face pale, as if she already knew the answer. Still, Tia managed to get her to help ready the girls for bed and tuck them in. Before Tia had said goodnight to Samantha, though, the doorbell rang again and Mona let Ron in.

  Both of her parents at once. Tia wasn’t sure if she was glad she’d get it over in one swoop, or if she was worried about the reactions if they were both in the same room. Would the kids actually fall asleep or would the tears and recriminations get too loud and keep them up? She said a quick prayer for strength and returned to the living room.

  She took the chair opposite them and clasped her hands on her lap, unsure what to say or how to explain.

  Mona broke the silence. “Well, you didn’t have to bring me here to say he’s your father. I told you I didn’t step out of him.”

  “Then,” Ron clarified.

  Mona blushed beneath her makeup, but gave a stiff nod of acknowledgment.

  “Actually,” Tia said, fisting her hands together on her lap. “The test proved something else entirely. It showed . . . neither of you are my biological parents.”

  Tia closed her eyes against the noise of her mother’s loud protests. She felt her father take her hand in his large, calloused one and squeeze it. Tristi start to whine down the hall and Samantha asked what was wrong as Mona continued to argue and wail.

  Tia opened her eyes, tears rimming her lashes, to find her father looking steadily at her. He squeezed her hand again, his face sad, but tearless. He laid his other hand on Mona’s shoulder and told her to settle down. His voice was soft, filled with authority. He released Tia’s hand. “Go check on your girls.”

  Tia rose automatically and did as he said. Soon Mona’s protests calmed to a murmur, and Tia was able to settle both girls back into bed. When she returned to the living room, she found Mona leaning against Ron’s shoulder, crying softly. It was a big improvement in her behavior, and odd seeing them like that after all the years of bickering.

  Tia sat and said nothing. She was exhausted, confused, and wanted a few hours to herself to let her mind wander.

  “All right,” Ron started after a moment. “So now we know.”

  “Do we? Maybe they mixed up the results.” Mona wiped at her face with a damp tissue, smearing the makeup worse. “We should have the tests done again.”

  “That won’t change anything,” Tia said. Not that it hadn’t crossed her mind to double-check, but she’d suspected what the results would be, so there was no point in trying again.

  “So where do we go from here?” Ron asked.

  Tia deliberated. She’d been thinking about it for more than a day now. “Do we assume th
e switch was made in the hospital? Could it have happened later?”

  Ron shook his head. “No. If you were switched, it had to be right after you were born. In the first six hours, most likely, when we’d barely gotten a look at you. We would have realized if it had happened later. I’m surprised we didn’t anyway.”

  Mona’s wails grew louder again.

  “All right.” Tia’s stomach felt tied up in knots. Part of her wanted to pretend none of this had happened and she was still blissfully unaware. The other part of her wanted to know what happened, not because she was looking for something more or better, but because she needed answers. “Then I guess I start with the hospital.” She wondered, with the HIPPA laws, if she would be able to get any information about other females born the same day she was.

  “What can I do to help?” Ron asked.

  “You’re going to look for your real family? We’re not good enough for you?” Mona asked, her voice growing in pitch every few words.

  Tia rubbed her forehead. A headache had been growing all afternoon, so she was grateful there were no signs of migraine this time. “Mom, this isn’t about being good enough. The fact is, there’s another family out there in the same situation as us. I want to know who they are.”

  “And then you’ll destroy their lives by telling them about this. Why rock the boat, Tia? Why bring the extra pain on them too?” Mona sobbed out her objections.

  Tia wet her lips as she considered her mother’s point. Did she have a right to mix up another family? She didn’t know, and once she had answers about who they were, maybe she would choose to leave things alone.

  Maybe.

  “I don’t know if I will yet, or if I will even be able to find the family. We’ll have to see what happens.” She would know what to do when she met them—she hoped.

  * * *

  Danny drove to the television station and parked in front of the four-story building. He hadn’t told Tia he was coming, but she would start cooking soon, and he hoped he could talk his way into the studio. Even if he had to wait until her segment was over, he wanted to be there, to see her, look in her eyes so he could tell if she’d been sleeping or not.