Safe Word

by Mummert, Teresa

  Her breathing caught and I stared down at her as I watched her eyelids flutter before finally opening and landing on me. For a second she didn’t seem to know where she was. I smiled down at her and her mouth curved slightly like she was about to do the same. Recognition washed over her and she quickly sat up and backed away from me.

  “Sleep well?” I asked as she grabbed the hem of her T-shirt and pulled it down over her knees to cover herself. “It’s only gonna get hotter today.” Her eyes danced over my body and I realized my jeans were still undone and I wasn’t wearing anything underneath. “Sorry.”

  I zipped up my pants, leaving them unbuckled before turning and leaving the room. I left her door wide open, hoping she would act a little more civilized today. It was asking a lot. I usually would not allow the women to leave the room unless they needed to use the bathroom. It made things easier for me. If things ended badly, I didn’t want Rose’s last memories to be of being locked away like a prisoner.

  I made my way to the kitchen, dropping my phone on the coffee table along the way, and grabbed a box of cereal from the top of the fridge. The bedroom door creaked. I grabbed two bowls from the cupboard and a couple of spoons from the drawer.

  “I don’t have much in the way of groceries.” I grabbed the milk from the fridge. Lily had begun pouring the cereal into the bowls. “Lucky Charms okay?” She nodded and I filled the bowls with milk before putting the carton back in the fridge. She sat down on one of the stools and I opted to stand on my side of the counter. I didn’t know what her attitude was like this morning, and I didn’t want to risk being stabbed with a fucking spoon.

  We ate in silence as I fished out the marshmallows from my cereal. It didn’t get past me that Lily hadn’t put her sweatpants back on. The heat was unbearable and I think she finally accepted that I may have been a lot of things, but rapist wasn’t one of them.

  “How is the room?” I asked as I dumped my bowl into the sink. She glanced up at me through her eyelashes and I knew she was struggling not to come back with a sarcastic remark. She simply nodded and took another bite.

  “I know it’s not the Hilton.” I reached above my head and gripped the top of the cabinets over the island. Lily’s eyes danced over my abdomen before reaching my eyes. The joke was not lost on her. Danny had texted me her name from her license she had in her purse. Rose Chathom had become Lily Hilton.

  “I didn’t think you would have so many tattoos,” she said before dropping her gaze.

  “A lot’s changed.” I looked down at the ink that flowed over my chest and down to my ribs. I dropped my arm and held it out in front of her so she could inspect the mishmash of books and toys. “This is for my mother. It has all of my favorite memories of her.” I pointed to my other arm covered in intricate crosses. “This is for all of the people who have hurt those that I cared about.”

  “What about that?” She motioned to my rib cage where the grim reaper held a withered rose.

  “You.” My eyes locked on hers. I wanted to say so much but I couldn’t speak. Rose cleared her throat and picked up her bowl.

  “I’m done. Thank you.” She held out her bowl and I took it with a nod.

  “You can find something to watch, if you want.”

  Rose smiled and made her way into the living room, settling down on the couch in the center.

  “You’re being awfully…compliant today.” I leaned against the counter and folded my arms over my chest as I gazed up at the ceiling.

  “I’m just happy to be out of that room.” She sighed as she flipped through the channels.

  “I’m glad you learned your lesson.” I walked across the living room and sat down next to her.

  “You read all those?” she asked, looking at the mess of books behind the couch; it was one of the stacks I’d knocked over and scattered across the floor.

  “I don’t use them as decoration.”

  “You can use this room until you get on your feet.” I pushed open the door to the spare bedroom. Amber leaned in and smiled. There was no bed or dresser, only stacks of books along the wall.

  “Wow. I would have never pegged you for a bookworm,” she said, joking. She stepped inside the room, pulling open the door to the tiny bathroom inside.

  “I was gonna use this as a library one day when I had some time to fix it up. Maybe build my own shelves.”

  Amber turned back to me and smiled as she leaned over a pile of books, scanning the titles.

  “Thank you for letting me stay. It should only be a few weeks until I can find a place of my own.”

  “You’re welcome here as long as you need. It will be nice not being alone for a while. I’ll try to pick up a mattress or something after my shift.”

  “That’ll be great. Thanks, Colt.”

  “You used to hate reading in high school.”

  “Nah. I just loved the sound of your voice when you read to me.”

  She smiled genuinely and my heart stuttered.

  “Tell me what happened after you left.” I kept my eyes locked on the television.

  “Nothing, really. My stepdad went to prison after my mom caught him…in the act. A few years later she drowned herself in guilt and booze. I have been on my own ever since.”

  “If I’d known where you were…”

  “You would have what? Kidnapped me and held me against my will?” She cut her eyes at me. There was that fire.

  “Fair enough. Not like you wanted me to find you anyway. You never married? Had a family?”

  “No.” She clicked the Off button on the remote and sat it down on the coffee table before standing. “I’m still kind of tired. I think I’ll go lie back down, if that’s okay with you.”

  I didn’t know how to respond. I had held out hope that everything had changed for Rose. That she had moved on in her life and was living in an upscale neighborhood with a picket fence, although the thought of her being able to forget me so easily was still like a knife in my stomach.

  I nodded and watched her walk off to her dark little corner of the apartment. I scrubbed my face with the heels of my hands as my eyes fell to the empty coffee table.

  “Son of a bitch!” I jumped from the couch and ran to the spare bedroom. Lily was hunched in the corner, her back facing me. I grabbed her hair and yanked her to her feet. She squealed and kicked backward as she held my cell phone out in front of her, just beyond my reach.

  “Stop!” She screamed as I yanked us both backward onto the mattress. I rolled on top of her as I struggled to pry the phone from her fingers without injuring her.

  “Do you have any fucking idea how stupid you are?” I yelled as I pinned her empty hand down.

  “Let me go!” Her other hand had a death grip on my phone, and she was holding it above her head, stretching as far as she could. I was well aware of the fact that her oversize shirt was riding up, and her smooth, warm stomach was pressed against mine.

  “You are going to get yourself killed!”

  “Then fucking kill me already!” Her eyes, wide and crazy, locked onto mine and we both stopped struggling, panting from the fight.

  “Who were you trying to call?”

  “None of your business.” She narrowed her eyes. I let my gaze fall to her chest and back to her perfect fucking mouth. She got the hint, and as her body relaxed for a fraction of a second, I pulled the phone from her hand. I kept her pinned under my body as I looked at the number on my phone.

  “You can give me a name, or I can do a reverse check and pay them a visit. Lily.” My eyes locked onto hers. “I never said I had a problem with killing someone. I only said I wouldn’t kill you.”

  “Shawn, my fiancé.”

  “You’re engaged? Where’s your ring?”

  “We have been separated for a few weeks. I moved back in with my family while we were working things out.”

  “What family?”

  “After Mom died, I moved in with a friend, and her family accepted me as one of them. I was already eighteen so i
t didn’t really matter…”

  I pushed myself up on my elbows as I tried to process this new information. I was glad Rose was able to move on with her life, find some semblance of normalcy.

  “I’m happy for you.”

  “Are you?”

  “Of course. Now we have someone to pay the ransom.” I pushed off the bed, looking her over once more. It was a fucking shame we were in this situation because she looked insanely beautiful sprawled out on that mattress. I hit the call button on my phone as I left the room and pulled her door closed behind me.

  It rang four times before man answered, sounding bored.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Notice anything missing?” I ended the call and laughed to myself. If he and Lily weren’t together, I needed to make him aware that she wasn’t around. We had two weeks to make him sweat.

  “What happened to you?”

  I spun around to see Rose leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed over her chest.

  “You happened.”

  Her gaze fell to the wooden floor below and her toes traced a crack in the wood.

  “You know I didn’t move out of Bollerville for years.” I tossed my phone on the coffee table and sank down on the couch. I ran my hand over the back of my neck as I looked down at my feet.

  “I know why I couldn’t find you. You practically fell off the map, but me…I was always around.”

  “I didn’t want anything to do with my past, Cole. You of all people should understand that.”

  I nodded my head but I had no fucking idea how she could go on and live this normal life while she knew I thought she was dead. The whole thing fucked me up and made me into the heartless asshole I had become.

  “Is he…is he gonna pay?” She stepped out of the doorway, her arms swinging at her sides as she made her way into the living room.

  “Don’t know yet.” I looked up at her, only a few feet from me. “Guess it depends on why you two aren’t together anymore.”

  “It’s a long story.” She sighed as she pushed her hair back from her face.

  “We’ve got nothing but time.” I leaned back against the back of the couch and propped my feet up on the old tile coffee table.

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “Have it your way, sweetheart.” I let out a sardonic laugh. “It’s your funeral.”

  I ignored her sniffling as I stared at the peeling off-white paint in the corner of the room. That was a low blow, but I was really sick and tired of half-truths.

  “For what it’s worth, I thought about you.” She sank down on the couch next to me with her legs folded under her.

  “Lot of good that did.”

  “Come on. If I found you…like this…”

  “You would have found a different person. This” — I waved my hand around — “is not who I am. One day, if you’re lucky enough to live through this, you will see that.”

  “You’re not that boy who wanted to save me anymore.”

  I looked over at her, taking her in.

  “You’re right. I’m not.” Anger consumed me and I wanted nothing more than to teach her a lesson. It didn’t matter what she called herself, she was still the girl who broke my heart.

  My cell phone rang, jarring us from the moment.

  “Colt,” I answered, leaning forward and resting my elbows on my knees.

  “We are dropping by,” Whitey responded.

  My eyes shot to Rose.

  “What’s your ETA?” I asked as I pushed to my feet, and Rose followed suit, ringing her hands together nervously.

  “I’m climbing your steps now.”

  The line went dead and I stared at Rose for an extra moment before tossing my phone on the table.

  “You have to go in the room.”

  “I don’t want to go back in there,” she whined like a child.

  “I don’t have time for your bullshit. Some very bad men are heading this way and I need you behind that lock.”

  “How do I know someone isn’t on their way to rescue me?”

  “Because you’re not a Disney fucking princess.” I bent over and grabbed her around the ass, hauling her up over my shoulder.

  “I’m glad you still have your sense of humor while my life is one the line.” Her hands splayed across my back and I could feel her nails beginning to dig into my flesh. In any other circumstance, my dick would be rock hard, but there was a very real threat to Rose’s life.

  “Retract your claws.” I sat her down gently on the mattress. She began to sob and part of me found some sort of sick, twisted pleasure in her fear. She had put me through hell without an ounce of remorse. It was time to return the favor.

  “Don’t cry, Lily.” I sunk down on my knees and lifted her chin with my fingertips. “It makes you look just as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside.” She jerked back from my touch as I pushed to my feet and shook my head. I held my finger up to my lips to warn her to be quiet before backing out of the room and securing the lock. As I made my way into the kitchen to grab a beer, the front door opened.

  “Whitey, nice of you to drop by.” I smiled as I opened my beer and tossed the cap on the counter.

  “We need progress.” He slicked back his thick wavy hair exposing his tanned face.

  “You need a drink. Beer?” I took a long pull from my bottle and Whitey made a face. “Everything is on track. Just like it always is.”

  “You got the ball rolling on the money?”

  “I’ve already initiated contact.”

  His eyes flicked to the door and I took another drink, hoping he wouldn’t want to see her.

  “I’ll be checking in later.” He turned and opened the door to the apartment. “Keep up the good work. Danny has his eye on you for the future.” He winked before leaving the apartment and pulling the door closed behind him. I let out a deep sigh and leaned back against the counter. Lily wasn’t Rose. Not anymore. I was going to end up getting us both killed because I couldn’t separate the two. She wasn’t being truthful, and that meant that any trust we had in the past was long gone. I needed to start playing this one by the book. People like Danny used guys like me for a reason. I had no problem shutting off my emotions and getting the job done.

  I went to my bedroom to grab a T-shirt. I could hear Lily crying to herself as I pulled the deep-gray shirt over my head. One thing Rose was teaching me was that being a victim doesn’t make you innocent. She was going to try her hardest to outsmart me, and I would have to match her every step of the way.

  “Lily?” I waited for a response, but she didn’t speak. “Want to come out and play?”

  “Call my fiancé. Let me speak to him. I know he will pay whatever it is you’re asking.”

  I laughed and shook my head.

  “I’m afraid I can’t do that, sweetheart.”

  “You can. You just don’t want to.” She bit back.

  “Something like that.” I pulled the keys from my pocket and undid the lock on the spare bedroom door.

  Rose stood up and walked out of the door past me.

  “I can tell you’re not like them. This isn’t you.” She looked back over her shoulder at me.

  “Says the woman with a fake name. You left town and never looked back. Neither have I. I’m a different person now.”

  “What would your mother think?”

  I barely let her finish her sentence before I had her body backed up against the island with my hand gripping the base of her throat.

  “Don’t talk about my mother, and don’t talk about the people we used to be. You have no idea who I am. It would be a big mistake for you to think otherwise.”

  “I’m sorry.” Her eyes were wide as she struggled to calm her breathing. Her eyes fell from mine to my lips. Her mouth fell open slightly. I pushed back from her, running my hands over my hair in frustration.

  “Two fucking weeks, Lily. Then you can go back to pretending I never existed.”

  “I never tried to fo
rget you.”

  I turned back to her, rage boiling inside of me. I was in front of her again in two large strides.

  “I want to forget you.” I searched her eyes with mine. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to pay her back for all of the pain she’d caused me.

  “You don’t mean that.” She lifted her hand and placed her fingertips lightly on my chest. I glanced down at her hand. I thought of the ring some other man had placed on it.

  “Don’t fucking touch me, Lily. You don’t get to fucking touch me.” I closed my eyes, not wanting her to see the pure rage, the hatred, the wanting. “Go back in the room.” I took a step back from her.

  “What? You can’t…”

  “I need to go out. I can’t be here.”

  I had to practically push Rose back into the room. I needed to get the hell out of this place. I needed to put as many miles between us as possible. After securing her, I pulled on my shoes and headed down to the parking garage.

  As I sat inside of my car, I pulled up the number to Lily’s fiancé and copied it into the search bar. I needed to see what she was running from and why. As the list populated, I realized I had a bigger problem on my hands than Lily’s broken engagement. Her soon-to-be husband was a lawyer and a damn good one. I glanced over his website, memorizing his face.

  I put my car in reverse and decided to go check him out for myself. As I put miles between me and my apartment, it became clearer that Lily’s being in that bar was more than just a coincidence. No one would travel this far to get a beer.

  I pulled up outside of Miller and Johnson law firm and waited. An hour passed and I saw two clients enter, one leave. I sat up in my seat, squinting to see the man who had just come out of the office doors.

  “That son of a bitch,” I said under my breath as Lily’s fiancé wrapped his arm around the waist of a redhead, pulling her flush against his body as her hands slid up to his neck. I clenched my jaw as I thought over the ramifications of my beating the piss out of this man on the street while his woman was locked up in my apartment across town.