Heart of Tartarus (Sky Cities Book 1)

by Lucy Smoke

  But even as I hold myself up—my muscles back to screaming—I have to beat back my other thoughts. The thoughts of not just Noaz, but Thayer, Aaron, Haze, and Levi. My lips burn, remembering my kiss with Levi—I sneak a glance at him, but he doesn’t return it. Maybe that’s for the best.

  I just need to hold on.

  A Little Bit of Relief

  Nighttime descends on Tartarus—but that doesn’t mean everyone closes up shop and goes to sleep. No, Tartarus isn’t like that. In fact, once the sun goes down even more people come out of the chrome work. I’ve decided that I can’t stay in the penthouse tonight. I need a break, a breather. I also need time away from that bedroom and that place that, for some reason, reminds me all too much of what I’ve lost, despite the fact that Kida and I never lived with Vincent.

  “Where are you going?” I turn around and spot Thayer and Aaron as they exit the elevator. I pause in front of the stairs.

  “I’m going out? Are you following me?”

  Thayer tilts his head to the side, his curly mass of shoulder-length hair sliding across one chiseled cheek. I glance down at their clothes. Dark synthetic cotton t-shirts and low-slung poly-leather pants. “We’re going out for a drink,” Thayer says. “Want to join us?”

  I glance at Aaron, but he remains silent, allowing me to make my own decision. I’ve come to know him well enough though, that even if I turn them down and strike off on my own, there will be someone following me within the hour. It’s not that he doesn’t trust me—at least, that’s not the case anymore. He feels protective and, truth be told, I’m a little protective of them now too. Because of what’s happened. Maybe that means I’m latching onto them. I just don’t want to see anyone else hurt right now. Especially not my guys—the guys, I remind myself. Not mine.

  I sigh and meet them in the middle of the lobby. “Why not?” I concede.

  Thayer smiles and holds the front doors open for me, though he knows he doesn’t need to. The doors will sense our movement and stay open on their own for as long as they need to. Still, it’s a nice gesture.

  Ferryman’s is a bar on the nicer side of Tartarus—not that Tartarus gets very nice, but at least in this place someone might actually warn you before they stab you through the eye. Thayer and Aaron shoulder their way through the crowd with me between them—Thayer with a ready and friendly smile on his face and Aaron, as usual, with his stoic ‘don’t-fuck-with-me’ expression. I’m still not quite sure how two men with such different personalities work so well together.

  “Three Cuffs!” Thayer calls across the bar. I almost expect the bartender to flip him off and yell ‘Fuck off’ like I’m used to, but within a handful of minutes a waitress in a tight black tank top and canvas shorts drops off a round of amber colored liquid in thick metal cups and is gone.

  “What’s Cuffs?” I ask as Thayer slides one of the heavy glasses over to me.

  “It’s like a brandy-ale. It’s not quite liquor, not quite brewed beer,” he explains.

  I blink down into my cup before raising it to my lips. The alcohol goes down without an issue. But either the Cuffs makes me thirsty or I was more dehydrated than I thought after all that exercise today because within a few minutes, I’ve downed at least half of my drink.

  “Whoa, slow your roll there, Firecracker—don’t want to see you shoot off.”

  “Huh?” I lift my head from my cup to find both Thayer and Aaron eyeing me.

  “He doesn’t want you to get drunk,” Aaron says.

  “I think she’ll be fine,” Thayer says, “but I just don’t – I mean what if something happens?”

  I shake my head. “Nothing’s gonna happen,” I say. Even if it does, it’s not like I’ll care much in the state I’m hoping to be in before we leave. They don’t need to know that though. I’m here to have a good time and just forget for a little while before I have to go back to the penthouse, and sleep in that bed, and dream of Kida. I suck back the rest of my drink and raise my hand for another. It’s quickly replaced, and my lips are back at the rim.

  Thayer and Aaron watch me as I down drink after drink. The Cuffs goes down so quickly I barely feel anything. I’m starting to wonder if it’s alcoholic at all. All the while, they both sip their first drinks until only a small lingering of foam around the bottom of their cups remains.

  “Uhh, Cass?”

  “Huh?” I sniff and lay my head on the table, a hiccup brewing in the back of my throat.

  “You okay?”

  “Yup.” I wave my free hand at him, as the hiccup breaks free. I stop and hold my breath, counting down before I continue speaking. “No worries, just fine.”

  “Watch her,” Aaron says suddenly, standing up and moving around the table. I drain the rest of my drink and look around for the waitress.

  “I think you’ve had enough,” Thayer says, sliding my glass away. I let him take it, there’s nothing in it anyway.

  “It’s fine,” I say, “just fine.” My feet are light as a fucking feather when I stand up, almost like I’m floating. Ha. Floating. Like the cities—though, they’re not really floating. No, they’ve got engines and fans and… all sorts of technical, science-y shit to keep us from plummeting to our deaths. For now, anyway.

  “Where are you going?” Thayer asks, following me. There is music coming from somewhere in this place, invisible speakers somewhere. And a small collection of people are gathered in the center of the bar to dance. I turn, quickly snagging his hand. If he’s just going to follow, then he might as well be useful.

  “We’re going to dance.” My chest fills and decompresses, another hiccup bursting forth. Thayer blinks at me, but when no more erupt, he laughs.

  Shaking his head at me, he draws me closer as more people crush around us. I sigh and let my head hit his chest. I’m not here because a bar extols my sins, but because I need to escape them. I don’t even hear voices in the music, just the beat. Despite the rumbling rhythm like thunder in the middle of the bar, Thayer holds me close and we sway, his heart thumping under my cheek. My hands clutch his soft shirt and I rub my nose across it.

  “You’re not yourself tonight,” he says quietly. There’s no accusation in his tone, so I don’t feel pressured to respond, but I find myself lifting my cheek and leaning back to look up into his dark eyes.

  I remember once seeing a dog in the streets—the creatures are so rare, especially on Tartarus where most people eat pets rather than keep them; the hunger gets that strong for the less fortunate. The animal had these wide, burnt-brown eyes and Thayer’s remind me of the strength I had seen in them. An animal that could have been killed and eaten and yet had somehow managed to survive all alone on the streets crowded with the worst left of humanity. I wanted so badly to take him home with me—even though, at the time, I hadn’t yet met Kida nor had I been taken to the detention center, and home was nothing more than a hovel or wherever I could sneak in for the night. I was too scared to keep the animal—scared that one day I would get too hungry and I’d have to see the life drain from the poor creature’s eyes just so I could feed the gnawing hunger in my belly.

  Thayer scares me too, but for different reasons. His eyes promise protection and understanding. They are hardened by a life of difficulty, and yet softened because he is still able to maintain that upbeat personality of his. I wonder if it must be tiring sometimes to smile as much as he does.

  “It hurts.” I’m shocked when the admittance comes out—so shocked I almost start to look around to see who said the words, but no, they’re mine.

  Thayer smiles one of his signature smiles and pulls me impossibly closer, until my head is tucked back under his chin. “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” he says.

  “I thought you were going to tell me to not feel bad… aren’t you supposed to comfort me?”

  “There’s very little comfort for grief,” he replies.

  I place two hands on his chest and push until I put a good foot of distance between us. We’re not dancing anymore, just s
tanding in the middle of the bar with other couples around us swaying to the music and the clink of the bartender and servers as they work for their keep. “Is that all that I am now? Just a grieving mess?”

  “No, Firecracker, you are so much more.” Thayer reaches for my hand, and I let him take it. He leads me out of the crowd and we head for the front door. Aaron meets us there, holding it open—I guess he must have been taking care of the tab because we’re leaving now, walking out into the streets of Tartarus. The chrome buildings are muted by the darkness of night, appearing more black than blue and silver.

  “Come on, Rocket. Stick close.” Aaron’s hand moves to the middle of my back as I stumble.

  I look up at him. God, he’s so fucking tall. “Why do you call me Rocket?” Levi told me it had something to do with him being a Sky Rover—a respect thing, but I want his answer. Aaron’s truth.

  We stop in the middle of the street, no cars appearing from either direction and I continue talking. “I saw how the others looked at you when you did it the first time. It’s supposed to be something special, right? So, why do you call me that?”

  Thayer sighs as Aaron reaches out and takes my hand from his. He sweeps me up into his arms. “Hey!” I slap a hand against his chest as he strides forward across the street and onto the walkway opposite us. “Put me down!”

  “Because you’re special, Rocket,” he whispers, now that Thayer is several feet back, though still following. “And I won’t give the name to another. Not when I have yet to meet a woman as tenacious and wild as you. Not when the recklessness of your spirit encourages me so. Not when your compassion and the way you love impresses me as much, if not more so than any man I’ve ever known.”

  I blink, shocked. Aaron carries me with Thayer at our backs until we reach a familiar looking pod complex. I vaguely recall it as the very same complex I woke up in after they captured me the first time. It feels like I’ve known them for years rather than a handful of weeks. I turn my face into his neck as he hits the button on the elevator.

  “Just a little longer, Rocket, I want to get to the pod as quickly as possible and we’re all the way at the top,” Aaron whispers into my hair. I clutch him harder when the doors slide open and he and Thayer step inside. I close my eyes and breathe through my mouth as we slowly—too slowly—ascend.

  “Is Levi here?” Thayer asks.

  Aaron nods.

  “Why is Levi here?” I ask, realizing that my voice is slightly slurred. I’m not sure if it’s because my lips are pressed against Aaron’s skin or because of all the alcohol in my system. I think I’m finally starting to feel the effects. My movements are more languid, my head is heavier. I kind of like being carried by my Hercules.

  They don’t answer me, though, and when the elevator doors slide open I can breathe easier again. Aaron stomps down the hallway, Thayer moving in front of him to open the door to their little pod. Levi is in the living area, legs propped as he holds a tablet up and reads through something. When the door swings in and smacks against the wall, he looks over.

  “What happened?” he asks, standing up and setting the tablet to the side.

  “She’s drunk,” Thayer explains.

  “I’m not drunk,” I say, hiccupping at the same moment that I hit Aaron’s chest again.

  “Right.” Thayer chuckles.

  “Here, set her down on the couch.” Levi gestures to the spot he just vacated.

  “Hercules?” I look up at Aaron as he sets me down. Levi frowns at the nickname.

  “Yes, Rocket?” Aaron asks as Levi’s face hardens behind him. I glance between them, my head bobbing from one side to the other. It’s hard to keep from letting it slide back on my shoulders when exhaustion creeps up the back of my spine, telling me to just close my eyes and all will be well.

  “Um…” I look at Thayer, who stands off to the side with both hands on his hips and an easy, affectionate smile on his face. “Never mind.”

  Thayer tilts his head at me and I feel my cheeks heat. What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe I am drunk. He sighs and turns toward the door. “I’m gonna run to the convenience store a block over and grab something to drink—something non-alcoholic,” he throws over his shoulder before he disappears out the door.

  I bite my lip, dragging my teeth back and forth.

  Levi sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just spit it out, Troublemaker. You know whatever you’re thinking of now is going to remain in your head unless you get it out.”

  I stare at him over Aaron’s shoulder, my thoughts scrambling to catch up. I forget what I was thinking before and now all I can remember is Levi’s lips on mine—the heat of his kiss—and then the words spill out before I can stop them. “Why did you kiss me?”

  Aaron’s face goes slack and then he stands up and turns toward Levi. “You what?”

  Levi’s eyes widen, and his hands go up. “Wait, hold on.”

  I make a grab for Aaron’s shirt and nearly roll off the side of the couch. He spins and grabs me just before I hit the floor. “It’s not his fault,” I say quickly.

  As soon as Aaron is sure I’m back on the couch and not in danger of falling off again, he flips his gaze back to Levi. “I can explain,” Levi says.

  “I suggest you do,” Aaron says darkly. “What is this about?”

  I’m confused, and I use my hand to grab onto Aaron’s shirt again, bringing his attention back to me. “Why are you so upset? Levi wouldn’t hurt me.” I look over Aaron’s shoulder at Levi, “Would you?”

  Levi heaves a great sigh, but Aaron is the one who answers, “No, he wouldn’t hurt you. But Levi doesn’t… he’s not the type–”

  “I wouldn’t take advantage of her.” Levi steps up on my other side, looking intently at Aaron.

  “You didn’t mean it then?” I don’t know why, but that makes my chest tighten and squeeze until it’s difficult to breathe.

  “That’s not–” Levi sucks in a breath—his eyes darting to mine—and then rubs a hand through his hair, casting a desperate look at Aaron.

  “Don’t you look at me,” Aaron says coolly. “You can explain it to her.”

  “Such a good friend, you are,” Levi snarks before dropping down onto the couch next to me.

  “I’m not gay,” Levi says looking at Aaron first and then at me.

  I snap my neck back and glare at him. Not this shit again. “I told you—you don’t have to be—”

  Levi’s hand covers my mouth, his thick fingers over my lips. My breath stutters in my chest. “I know, Troublemaker,” he says, his amber eyes softening before he looks at Aaron.

  Perhaps it’s been a long time coming for the two of them—if so, I’m thankful that Thayer decided to leave, at least for a short while. Levi’s mouth pinches down, his features strained so tightly he looks like if I flick him, he might shatter into a million pieces and scatter across the world. I reach out and take his hand in mine. He looks at me and I urge him on with a nod of my head.

  “I’m not gay, but… I love you, Aaron.”

  Aaron doesn’t blink. He doesn’t snap his head back in disgust or move away. In fact, if it weren’t for the fact that I notice how still he is—how his chest isn’t moving—how his eyes are trained on Levi’s face—I might be tricked into thinking he’s not reacting at all. The thing about Aaron, though, is that he reacts differently than everyone else.

  “Well?” Levi’s hand clenches on mine. “Say something, man.”

  “You… love me?”

  Levi nods quickly.

  “And you kissed Cassandra?” Aaron lifts a brow.

  “Well, that was an accident–” I narrow my gaze on him. He grits his teeth. “I thought you and Cass were—what I mean to say is, I thought the two of you were… and I wasn’t sure she could be trusted, but Cass is…” He looks back down at me. “It’s complicated.”

  “Because you don’t love just me anymore, do you?” Aaron asks, lifting a brow.

  I’m freaking out inside, and the
only reason I haven’t yanked my hand away from Levi is because my insides are a riot of emotions. Didn’t I just swear I wouldn’t do this to myself? Kida was my one and only. There are no more chances for me, certainly not so soon. That makes me a shit girlfriend. Her body is barely cold and already, I’m considering moving on because it doesn’t sound like Aaron’s wrong. Levi’s not denying it, and that thought does make me pull my hand away.

  “I just wanted to know why you kissed me,” I say quietly, scooting to the furthest end of the couch and away from the two of them. “I’m sorry, I think you’re right, I did drink too much.” I stand on wobbly knees.

  “Cass, wait, I—”

  I wave my hands at the both of them even though Levi is the one who spoke. “It’s fine, you guys have your thing going on. It was an accident, I get that—” Okay, maybe I’m a little bitter. I shouldn’t be angry about it, but I am. I’m not an accident. Kissing me isn’t… it shouldn’t be an accident. Or maybe it should, it seems the people I love always end up dead. Who would want to kiss me if I’m the cause of all that? Kida. My brother—but then, I had only loved my brother as a child and what happened to him… well, that was his own fault. Still, though, maybe I’m just bad luck.

  “Cassandra.”

  I stop at the sound of Aaron’s tone—a low rasp that incites something inside me, makes it burn hot until it consumes me completely, until I can feel the flush under my skin.

  “I think you’re getting the wrong idea, Cassie.” Levi reaches for my arm, but I draw it away and look down to the floor. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his fist flex as if he wants to grab me anyway, but he refrains. He forces himself to drop his hand. “Cassie, things are complicated right now, but they’re not always going to be that way. I know—we know you’re hurting. The thing between…”

  I look up when he trails off. Levi releases a slow breath before continuing. “The thing between Aaron and me can wait.”