The Society #StalkerProblems

by Ivy Smoak

  “What about the pitch meeting?” Does Tanner conduct his pitch meetings in a Finnish sauna? Rich people were so weird.

  She ignored my question and led me down the hall to the women’s room.

  “There are fresh towels there,” she said, pointing to a stack of pristine white towels. “Please sit on one in the sauna.”

  “Quick question. How likely am I to get a horrible butt fungus today?”

  Olga looked shocked. “This sauna is a place of health and purity. There is no butt fungus.”

  “Pinky promise?”

  “I do not know what that means. Any other questions?”

  “Uh…” I had so many questions. Mainly I was wondering why the hell Tanner conducted his meetings here. But I also wanted to know more about their sanitation methods. I still wasn’t convinced about the whole no-butt-fungus thing. I didn’t think I was going to get any more out of Olga though. “Nope. I’m all set.”

  “Excellent. Enjoy your sauna. If you’d like a lemonade or a sausage, just order through the app.”

  A lemonade or a sausage? What the actual fuck?

  Before I could think anymore about that gag-inducing pairing, the water in one of the showers cut off and a girl in a towel stepped out. Then she walked straight out of the bathroom, not bothering to change.

  By the time she was gone, I realized that I should have followed her. Because I literally had no idea what the hell I was supposed to be doing. I would have just left, but I was still so jazzed about getting to play Shark Tank with Tanner. Even if I had to listen to the pitches while wearing a towel and sweating my ass off. Honestly, I would have been sweating my ass off either way from my nerves, so it probably worked in my favor that now I could blame it on the sauna.

  There were still a few showers running, so I stripped out of my work clothes and threw a towel around my naked body. Yeah, I know I was supposed to shower. But I didn’t want to mess up my makeup and I didn’t want to get foot fungus, so the public shower was a no-go.

  I waited patiently for another girl to finish showering, and then I followed her out of the bathroom. She walked down the hall and through a pair of double doors. And then we were freaking outside. On the roof of a skyscraper. In the middle of New York. Why did no one ever talk about the fact that there were five giant wooden saunas on the roof of this building? In winter it might have felt like Finland up here. But in late spring, it was already starting to feel a lot like a sauna.

  Except for the wind, which nearly tore my towel right off my body. I reached out just in time to avoid giving all the nearby office buildings a great look at my naked body. In retrospect, I really should have kept my underwear on.

  Oh well. No going back now.

  I found the sauna labeled three and walked inside. Within half a second, I was drenched in sweat. But for the first time, it wasn’t nervous sweat. Well, maybe a little bit. But mostly just good sweat. If that was a thing. It was more humid than Florida in the middle of summer.

  My focus quickly shifted from the awful humidity to Tanner. Because he was sitting right by the stove with a towel wrapped around his waist. His skin glistened with sweat, accentuating every muscle. Damn. Now I was soaked everywhere, and not just from sweat.

  “I was beginning to think you’d chickened out,” he said, waving me over.

  “No way.”

  His eyes went to the heels I was still wearing. “Uh, you know you’re supposed to go barefoot, right?”

  “Where’s the fun in that?”

  “I have to admit, heels and a towel is a good look for you.” He patted the spot next to him. “Take a seat.”

  I did. And then we sat there in silence for a few minutes. Somehow it was actually really relaxing.

  Eventually Tanner turned to me. “So what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”

  Oh right. All this sauna nonsense had distracted me from my main mission today. “I was hoping I could have a day off. May 25th.”

  “Shouldn’t you be asking your boss about that? I may be paying for your expertise, but you still work for BIMG.”

  “Yeah. But I just started a few weeks ago. I don’t have any vacation days yet.”

  “Ah. So you want me to let you play hooky for a day? While still paying your hourly rate?”

  I nodded. “Yup.”

  “And why would I do a thing like that?”

  “Because you’re such a nice guy? And I need the money.”

  For a second he frowned. I would have missed it if I hadn’t been staring. But then he smiled, put his hands behind his head, and leaned back on the bench. “Hmmm…”

  That position could only mean one thing. I could have the day off, but only if I blew him first. “Oh, I see how it is.” I started putting my hair up. I couldn’t have it getting in the way while I blew him. Finally! I couldn’t wait to pull his towel down to get a look at what he was packing. And it was a win-win, because I wasn’t going to even have to start talking about Rosalie and bawling my eyes out.

  I was just about to yank his towel down when he said, “Okay. I’ll consider letting you take the day off. But only on one condition.”

  “Anything you want.” I glanced down at his crotch.

  “You have to tell me why you’re taking the day off.”

  “Oh.” So no blowjob then? Why did I always think men were asking for it?

  “Is that super tall pervert taking you somewhere fancy?”

  “No. Dr. Lyons and I aren’t friends anymore.”

  “Well that’s an interesting development. What are you doing then?”

  “Instead of talking about why I need the day off, I have a better idea…” I traced my finger along his hip towards his towel. This sauna was about to get even hotter.

  He grabbed my hand to stop me. “Are you sure you don’t want me to put a privacy sign outside?”

  And miss the Shark Tank pitches? “No way.”

  He lowered his eyebrows. He didn’t look happy. At all.

  I knew a way to fix that. If he’d just let go of my hand so I could grab his penis.

  Chapter 40 - Sauna Surprise

  Thursday

  Just before I could get to his towel, the door swung open and a guy walked in.

  Damn it!

  The newcomer tossed a little water on the stove to get it extra steamy and then dropped his towel and sat down.

  I was beginning to think that I had really hit the opposite-lottery with Joe’s tiny penis, because like Dr. Lyon, Angel, and Diablo, this guy had an absolute monster dangling between his legs.

  “It’s rude to stare,” whispered Tanner.

  “What? I wasn’t…” I made a show of turning my head to look in the complete opposite direction of our new friend.

  But that tactic quickly failed, because another beautiful man walked in and dropped his towel. He wasn’t quite as impressive as our first guest. But he brazenly looked me up and down and gave me a mischievous little grin.

  I turned to Tanner. “Are they supposed to be naked?” I whispered.

  “Sure. Back when I lived in Finland, I saw naked people every day at the sauna. No one cares about such things there.”

  “You lived in Finland?”

  Tanner coughed a little. “Yup. For a few years. When I was young.”

  “What were you doing in Finland?”

  “Oh, you know. My businesses take me all over. Anyway, you still haven’t told me why you want a day off.”

  So…he was in Finland when he was young? But also when he owned a business? What? I looked at him to try to figure out why he was lying. But the first naked dude was positioned so that his penis was right in my vision. “You’re lying.”

  “What?” he asked. He sounded so guilty.

  “I don’t believe you lived in Finland. Because if you had, you’d be naked right now too.” Gotcha, bitch.

  “Oh.” Tanner relaxed a little. “Of course I would be. But I knew you’d be joining me, and since I’m kind of your boss, I didn’t wa
nt to be inappropriate.”

  “Are you sure about that?” I bit my lip seductively.

  His eyes dropped to my lips, but he quickly looked away. “I’m sure. You made your decision. And it’s for the best. We can’t be together, nothing’s changed.”

  Um…what? We’d had a good time at the museum before he left. And what was all this about making a decision? Oh God, does he know I blew Dr. Lyons?!

  Three more guys walked in and all dropped their towels. Was this place always such a sausage fest? If so, I was beginning to think that maybe Tanner really didn’t want to be with me because I didn’t have the uh…right equipment for his taste.

  “So you’ve gotten to sit here like a boss,” said Tanner. “Which one of these fine suitors are you gonna seal the deal with?”

  I stared at him. “Say what now?”

  “Based on how you keep staring, my money is on him.” He nodded his head towards the first guy who had walked in.

  “Um. What are you talking about?”

  “You said you’ve always wanted to surprise a stranger in a sauna. And as much as I hate the idea of it, I can’t selfishly keep you all to myself when I know that we can never be together.”

  “Did Chastity put you up to this?”

  He looked genuinely confused. “No. In the elevator like 20 minutes ago…you said you’ve never been in a sauna, but that you’ve always wanted to sit there like a total boss and then make someone’s wildest dreams come true. I wasn’t sure you were serious, but when you walked in here wearing nothing but a towel and heels, I figured it was really happening. But then it seemed like you were hitting on me, so I tried to get you to put up a last-minute privacy sign and you practically yelled ‘no way’ in my face.”

  “What?! No! I was talking about investing money Shark-Tank-style, not banging some stranger in a sauna!”

  All five guys looked at me.

  Oh fuck. My face turned a million shades of red. I wanted to crawl under the benches and never show my face in public again.

  “The name’s Karl,” said the guy who had been checking me out. “Now we’re not strangers anymore. And it would be my pleasure to make your sauna fantasy come true.”

  I stared at Tanner, praying he’d save me.

  “Back off,” growled Tanner. He grabbed my hand and led me away from the five naked perverts.

  I couldn’t help but laugh when we were safely outside. The stale city air felt so refreshing compared to the germ trap we’d just been bathing in. And once I started laughing, I couldn’t stop.

  Tanner started laughing too. I didn’t know whether it was with me or at me. But we both couldn’t stop. This could have easily been incident #6, but the fact that we were both laughing so hard made it not seem nearly as bad. I couldn’t believe he thought I wanted some random sauna dude instead of him.

  “Sorry about that,” said Tanner as he finally composed himself. He looked so…relieved.

  I wanted to do a happy dance. He was relieved that I didn’t fuck some stranger in a sauna. Because he loves me and wants me all to himself!

  Tanner smiled. “In my defense, you were very unclear about what you wanted.”

  “I was unclear?! You were the one who tricked me into coming to a sex sauna by telling me that I was going to get to be your right-hand man for some investment pitches.” It was tempting to rip off his towel to pay him back, but instead I just poked him in his impossibly hard chest. God, I loved his muscles.

  “Uh, yeah. I never said that.”

  “Yes you did.”

  “I definitely didn’t. Because it wouldn’t have made any sense. I just said we were going to an appointment. And that I didn’t know who we were meeting.”

  Shit. He was right. That was exactly what he had said. “Then why did you say that not knowing who we’re going to meet is half the fun?”

  “Because I enjoy chatting in the sauna. It’s part of the experience.”

  “Well damn it. That makes a lot of sense. Just for the record, I really was talking about giving out investments rather than blowjobs. I wouldn’t blow someone in the sauna. I mean, other than you.” Shit! I clapped my hand over my mouth, but I couldn’t put the words back in.

  Tanner raised an eyebrow. “I did kind of think you were about to blow me back there when you started putting your hair up.”

  “I guess you’ll never know for sure. If only you hadn’t been so caught up in trying to pry into my personal life.”

  “Speaking of which…you still need to tell me why you want that day off.”

  I let out a long sigh. I guess there was no getting around it. But now that I thought about it…the sauna was the perfect place to tell him. I could just pass my tears off as sweat. “Okay, let’s go back in and I’ll tell you.”

  “Uh…are you sure you want to go back in there?”

  “Oh God no. Let’s try a different one.”

  We went into sauna #2, but quickly left when we saw a girl bent over one of the benches getting absolutely railed.

  “Was that Olga?” I asked.

  “I didn’t get a great look, but I believe so. When she said to let her know if there was anything we needed, she meant it.”

  “So the patrons can just ask to fuck her?”

  Tanner nodded. “Yup. What else would you expect from a Finnish sauna owned by the Society?”

  “This place is owned by the Society?” I asked.

  “How was that not obvious?”

  “I don’t know! I’ve never been to a Finnish sauna before. I just assumed they were all this freaky.”

  “Not at all. I mean, yes, it is totally fine to be naked. But to make it sexual…I think most Finns would consider this a horrible desecration of their sacred pastime.”

  “Does the Society own any other places?” Like a sex club called Club Onyx? Chastity was right! “Or do they just randomly own a Finnish spa?”

  “That information is highly classified,” said Tanner.

  Damn it!

  “Now…shall we try sauna #1?”

  “Only if you go first.”

  “You got it.” Tanner went in and then called for me to come in a second later. Thankfully, we were all alone. “So let’s hear it,” said Tanner as he sat down on a bench. “What are you doing on your day off?”

  I took a deep breath and sat down next to him. “You promise you’ll give me the day off if I tell you my reasoning?”

  “I promise I’ll consider it.”

  “May 25th is the three-year anniversary of my sister’s disappearance.”

  “Wow, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I forgot about Rosalie.”

  “It’s okay. You…” Then something hit me. “I’ve never mentioned her before.”

  “Sure you did.”

  “When?”

  “On our first date?”

  “Nope. I definitely didn’t. I would know, because saying her name practically brings me to tears. And that was purely a happy night.” I stared at him. “Seriously. How do you know her name?” My mind was moving a million miles a second. First I hated that he was lying, and then I went somewhere darker. Had Tanner known her? Or been the one to make her disappear? My mind started spiraling. Had Rosalie gotten caught up in the Society? Was this place about more than just freaky sex stuff? Maybe…sex trafficking? God, his guilt was written all over his perfect face! I dug my nails into the wooden bench so I wouldn’t slap him. “If you had something to do with her disappearance…”

  “Whoa, what?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me. You knew her name. I need to know why.”

  Tanner scrunched his face up like I’d caught him in a terrible lie. “Promise not to hate me if I tell you the truth?”

  “That depends on what the truth is.” If you murdered her, I’ll take my heels off and gouge your eyes out.

  “I might have had my PI do some digging into your past.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “It’s standard procedure for Society recruiting.”


  “Oh my God!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Tanner wasn’t a murderer. But he was exactly what I’d known him to be all along…a dirty stalker. “I knew it!”

  “Knew what?”

  “That you were stalking me.”

  “I prefer to call it doing my due diligence.”

  I shook my head. “Call it whatever you want, but the fact remains that you were stalking me.”

  “You wish.”

  “I might wish it a little bit.” Actually a lot a bit. “But only if you promise you didn’t kidnap my sister. Otherwise you’re a horrible stalker. I mean…you did get caught, so you’re a horrible stalker either way. But if you kidnapped Rosalie then you’re a horrible person too.”

  “Of course I didn’t kidnap your sister.” His eyes softened. “I’m so sorry that happened. If you don’t want to talk about it, I totally understand. But I’m also happy to listen.”

  I stared at him. Besides yelling at a bunch of useless cops who weren’t looking for her hard enough and drunk-crying with Chastity, I’d mostly held all my anger and frustration and sadness inside. And it all kind of wanted to come out. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  Tanner scooched closer to me and put his sweaty arm around me. I melted into his very naked, very sweaty side. And then I cried. Because talking about her always made me cry. It had nothing to do with how comforting his arms were. Maybe.

  We stayed that way for who knows how long.

  “I just wish she’d left a note,” I said eventually. “Or anything to give me some closure. There’s nothing worse than it all being a big mystery.”

  “Do you think you might still be able to find her?” asked Tanner.

  I looked up at him. “I doubt it.”

  “But is it possible?”

  “They never found her body. I know it’s stupid, but that’s why I go to the park on the anniversary of her death. I keep hoping she’ll show up.”

  “That’s not stupid at all.”

  “I don’t know. I keep clinging onto hope, but the detective was probably right. When I pestered him about the odds of finding her, he just asked if I believed in magic.”

  “And do you?” asked Tanner.

  “What? Believe in magic? No.”