The Society #StalkerProblems

by Ivy Smoak

  I could barely catch my breath. I just nodded as I watched him stroking himself. I couldn’t think straight with my foggy after sex brain and watching him looking like a Greek God in front of me.

  “Say it, baby. I need you to say it. Tell me who you belong to.”

  “You. I’m yours.”

  As soon as the words left my mouth he exploded. Shot after shot of cum all over my face and my tits. Again and again. I was freaking drowning in his cum. It was like someone had tossed a glass of water in my face. But it tasted like cookies. Man I loved cookies. And cum. And Tanner.

  I was completely drenched. God, if this was his way of claiming me, I was here for it.

  “All mine,” he growled.

  I went to wipe the cum out of my eyes so I could open them, but he stopped me.

  “But unfortunately no one is ever mine for more than one night.”

  Wait, what? I felt his lips brush against the side of my neck.

  “Because you were right all along, baby. My true secret? You found it in the literature. I’m a vampire. And you’re my dessert.”

  I screamed at the top of my lungs as he bit down on the side of my neck. And suddenly I was drenched in cum and blood. I screamed again and tried to push him off but I couldn’t see anything.

  “Mistress?!” he yelled. “Mistress! You’re awake!”

  I threw out a punch where I thought Tanner’s blood-sucking vampire throat was.

  He wheezed. “Ow,” he groaned in a weird British accent.

  It was a perfect throat punch. I was finally able to wipe the cum off my eyes lids and open them.

  I blinked a few times. Who the hell is that?! Because the man next to me was definitely not Tanner.

  “Nigel?” I blinked again. I was definitely looking at Nigel, sitting there in his weird little chauffeur uniform. And then I screamed at the top of my lungs. Because that meant…that meant I thought Nigel was Tanner. The weirdest case of mistaken identities ever because they couldn’t look more different. Oh no. And if I mistook Nigel for Tanner…that meant Nigel had just done two things to me that he shouldn’t have. And I think the first one was worse somehow. “Nigel, did you just cum on my face?!”

  Chapter 61 - Drenched

  Thursday

  Nigel was still holding his throat, but his eyes got big and he stared at me.

  Oh my God. What had I done? I’d just had sex with Nigel while Angel and Diablo watched. And it didn’t matter that I thought it was Tanner. I’d fucked his houseboy! And his houseboy bit my neck! I reached up to touch my wound, but my neck felt fine. “You tried to suck my blood!”

  His eyes grew even rounder. “I’m sorry, Mistress,” said Nigel. “I think you were having a naughty little dream. I tried to wake you, but you just kept moaning and wiggling around. I didn’t want you to be late for your appointment with Master Tanner, so I had no choice but to splash champagne in your face.”

  I looked at my hands. Instead of being covered in cum and blood, they were shimmering. And I was no longer at Santiago’s. I was in the back of the limo.

  “You must have taken a quick snooze, Mistress.”

  Fuck my life. Nigel was right. I’d dozed off and had the craziest sex dream ever. But I couldn’t get my heart rate to slow down. I still felt like I was in danger. Did Nigel look hungry for blood or was it just me?

  “I didn’t mean to get you so wet,” said Nigel. “Here.” He pulled out a hanky and started dabbing the champagne off of me.

  “Stop. Stop!” I swatted him away. I didn’t want anyone to touch me. I just needed a second to calm down.

  “Ash?” asked Tanner. He was peering into the limo over Nigel’s shoulder.

  I screamed at the top of my lungs. Oh God, why did I just scream? He wasn’t a vampire, it was all just a dream.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  My first reaction was to try to hide. I couldn’t face him. Not after screaming in his face like a crazy person. And especially not after that dream. I liked to think it was just a harmless fantasy. But Chastity always said that dreams had meaning. They were a window into my psyche. My very dirty psyche.

  So what the hell did this dream mean?

  The first part was obvious - I wanted Tanner to tell me he loved me and then fuck the shit out of me.

  But the other part? The weird bit with him wanting Angel and Diablo to watch us because he knew I wanted it? God, that was so fucked up. And hot. I’m so weird! And it was even weirder that I was obsessing over that instead of the fact that he’d tried to suck my blood!

  “One moment, Master,” said Nigel. “Mistress Ash was having a naughty…”

  I put my hand over his mouth. “He’s lying. I didn’t have a naughty dream. He’s delirious.” I gave Nigel what I thought was a pleading stare, begging him with my eyes to keep his little mouth shut.

  “Why are you so wet?” asked Tanner.

  He was right. My panties were completely soaked after that dream. But how did he know?! “I’m not wet. What makes you think I’m wet?”

  “Because Nigel is literally wiping water off your face. And your hair is soaked.”

  “Oh. Oh! Right. Yeah, your little houseboy hit the brakes too hard and I spilled champagne everywhere. I wish it was water. Freaking maniac!”

  “Is that true, Nigel?”

  “That most certainly is not true! She was having a naughty dream. Lots of moaning. The only way to rouse her was with a glass of champagne to the face.”

  “That didn’t happen.” How could he not read my pleading glare? Look at me, Nigel! Help me out of this mess!

  “Yes it did!” replied Nigel. He started dabbing at my face again.

  I swatted him away. “No it didn’t.” I was considering grabbing my fire extinguisher and blasting the little man away.

  “Yes it did.”

  “No it didn’t.”

  I slapped his hand away as he tried to blot my face again and we somehow started slapping at each other’s hands repeatedly in what I can only describe as…ridiculousness.

  Tanner started laughing and grabbed both of our arms. I tried to fight against his grip, but he was too strong.

  “I’m sorry, Master,” said Nigel. “I shouldn’t have hit the mistress. Technically she punched me first. But I am sorry. I was bad. Are you going to have Master Matthew come punish me?”

  Oh my. I had never heard someone sound so excited to be punished before.

  “No,” said Tanner. “But please don’t hit her again. Can you give us a moment?”

  Nigel bowed and crawled out of the limo.

  “So…” said Tanner. “You just had a sex dream?” The smirk on his face made me want to run away and hide again.

  “No! Don’t listen to Nigel. He’s lying.”

  “Who was in this sex dream?”

  “No one. Because there was no sex dream.”

  “Mhm. Sure.” He grabbed Nigel’s hanky and dabbed it against my chest. Dangerously close to my cleavage. I flashed back to my dream when he’d licked the cake off my tits. It was so tempting to pull his face down into them. If I did, would he go down on me like he had in my dream? Because I needed that in my life. But he could just as easily bite my neck too.

  I needed to distract myself before I did something crazy. I pulled out my phone to see how much Nigel had screwed up my makeup. The answer was…a lot. My mascara was running down my cheeks. And my hair was totally flat. I might as well have had a middle part like some dumb Gen-Z girl. Yeah, it was that bad. And I was horrified that Tanner was seeing me looking like a drowned naked mole-rat.

  “Can you just have Nigel take me home? I can’t go to a cake tasting like this.”

  “Like what?” asked Tanner.

  “Like this.” I pulled on a few strands of my soaking wet hair. “I look homeless. And you look all perfect.” And vampirey.

  He moved back a little and gave me the up-down. “I think you look great. But if it will make you feel better…” He grabbed a glass of champagne,
shrugged his shoulders, and splashed it in his own face.

  I laughed.

  And then he tore one of the sleeves off his suit. “How’s that?”

  I was smiling so hard it hurt. “Perfect.” Seriously. That was like…the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. That suit must have cost like 10 grand. And he destroyed it just to make me feel more comfortable.

  “Shall we?” He held his hand out for me.

  I hesitated to take it. Ripping his suit was sweet. Too sweet. It was exactly the kind of gesture a vampire would do in order to lure a girl into their lair. “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “Inside. To the cake tasting.”

  “Yeah, but where? What restaurant?”

  He pointed out the window. I scooched over and looked up. We were at Santiago’s. Just like in my dream. Oh no! It’s happening.

  “Can you go grab our table? I promised I’d call Chastity as soon as we got here. To tell her exactly where we are. And who I’m with.” I stared at him. Would that be enough to deter him from murdering me? Probably not. He would just go murder her next. “And I should probably call my mom to tell her too. And one other person whose identity shall remain secret.”

  “You can text them once we’re inside. Otherwise we’ll be late.” He reached for my hand.

  That settled it. I didn’t want to get eaten by a vampire. But I would rather die than be late for something. Especially when that something was a date with Tanner at the best restaurant in the city.

  Please don’t eat me. I took Tanner’s hand and slid out of the limo.

  Just like in my dream, he looked me up and down.

  I returned the favor. I was digging his wet-faced, torn-suit look. No one should look that good when they’d splashed champagne in their own face. Yet…Tanner looked like he’d just emerged out of pristine ocean water. He was dripping wet in the sexiest way possible.

  “What are you looking at, Stalker?” he asked.

  “You’re the stalker. It hardly seems like a coincidence that you happened to be here when I arrived.”

  “We had plans to meet here. That’s hardly stalking.”

  “Yeah, but what about when you hunted me down at Club Onyx last night?

  He narrowed his eyes.

  Shit! Why had I mentioned Club Onyx? That was the one topic that I had wanted to avoid at all costs.

  “You shouldn’t have gone to Club Onyx alone,” said Tanner. “You aren’t ready.”

  “Ready to learn about your sexcapades with millions of random women, Mr. #1 Recruiter?”

  “We really should go inside for the cake tasting.” He gestured towards the door. “But if it will help put your mind at ease, you can ask me one yes-or-no question about Club Onyx, and I’ll answer 100% truthfully.”

  “So like the world’s worst version of 21 questions?”

  “Yup.”

  Gah! I had so many questions about that place. But mainly I wanted to know if Tanner was a vampire. And if he slept with thousands of women. Or ate them. Ah! That’s it! I had the perfect question.

  “Have you banged and sucked the blood of more than ten women from Club Onyx?”

  Tanner laughed. “No.”

  “So you don’t bang them? Or you don’t suck their blood?”

  “Or maybe I don’t do either. But you’ll never know thanks to the extremely poor wording of your question. Was this your first time playing 21 questions? You should never go that specific.” He looked so happy with himself.

  Damn it! It had seemed like the perfect question. But now that I thought about it, it was kind of the worst question ever. It could have only been 9 girls. Or maybe he didn’t bang them before he sucked their blood. Or maybe it was more of a drinking action than a sucking action.

  “Can I have one more question?” I asked.

  “Later.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me into Santiago’s.

  Chef Santiago greeted us at the door.

  “Buenos noches mis amigos,” said Santiago.

  “Buenos noches,” replied Tanner in perfect Spanish. Then he said a bunch of other stuff I didn’t understand. The only thing I caught was when he said my name and gestured over at me.

  Are they making plans about how best to suck my blood? I’d never considered that Santiago might be a vampire too. That would explain why he’d been so willing to clear out his entire restaurant for us on such short notice…

  “Ash, it is a pleasure to meet you,” said Santiago. He took my hand and pulled it towards his mouth.

  Ah! Don’t eat me! I yanked my hand back. And when he reached for me again, I slapped his hand away.

  Santiago and Tanner stared at me.

  “What?” I asked. “Don’t you guys know the secret baker’s handshake?” I took his hand and recreated the handshake and slap. And then I added all sorts of moves that basically resembled baking a cake. There was a mixing motion, a spin, something that looked like putting a cake in the oven… What am I doing?! I felt incredibly awkward. But I was in too deep. I had to keep going. I added like five more moves, and then I was going to finish it off by putting some sprinkles on my imaginary cake. But then I realized that this “handshake” was basically a solo dance, so I brought Santiago back into it by booping him on the nose. God, why do I keep booping things that don’t belong to me? I was seriously seconds away from going back to my vow of reclusivity.

  “Fantástico!” said Santiago. “I can’t believe no one ever taught me this before. May I try?”

  “Please do.”

  “I’ll do it with you,” offered Tanner. “It looks fun.”

  “Fun?” asked Santiago. “The bakers’ handshake is not fun. It is a sacred tradition stretching back centuries. Right, Ash?”

  “Yup. Mhm,” I said. “Sure is.” I turned to Tanner. “Sorry, bud. This is only for bakers. In fact, please forget everything you’ve seen.” Seriously. Please forget this weird handshake dance thing.

  Instead, he got to watch me and Santiago practice it four more times. I kept having to correct him. What was so difficult about spinning clockwise four times while waiting for the cake to bake?! Or maybe he was just having trouble because I definitely kept changing the order of things. I couldn’t remember the stupid handshake! Especially when I had to keep watching Tanner out of the corner of my eye to make sure he wouldn’t pounce on me to suck my blood. And with my other eye I was watching the kitchen in case Angel and Diablo decided to pop out and try to fuck me or something.

  Oh God…are they here? Were they even Santiago’s sons? Or was that just in my dream? Santiago had their same tanned skin. And he looked about the right age to be their father.

  “You can practice more with your sons,” I said.

  “Sons?” asked Santiago. “I only have three daughters.”

  He was a Dad of Daughters Only? Those must be the triplets that Tanner banged!

  “What made you think he had sons?” asked Tanner.

  “I didn’t mean sons in the biological sense. I meant baking sons. That’s how we American bakers refer to our sous chefs.” I was so freaking smooth.

  Santiago shook his head. “First the handshake and now this? You are making me feel like a true amateur this evening, Señorita Cooper.”

  “My baking etiquette is impeccable, but I’m sure you could bake the hell out of me.” What the actual fuck did I just say? It sounded oddly sexual. And maybe kind of violent? I had been trying to concede that he was the superior baker.

  Both men stared at me.

  “Shall we begin the tasting?” said Tanner.

  “Si, si. Please, take a seat and I’ll be right out with the cakes.” Santiago took us to a table and then disappeared into the kitchen.

  “So you want Chef Santiago to bake the hell out of you, huh?” asked Tanner as he hung his torn suit jacket on the back of his chair.

  I shook my head. “It’s a bakers’ phrase. You wouldn’t understand.”

  “I’m sure it is. Just like that magnificent handshake you made
up for God knows what reason.”

  “He was going to kiss my hand! And then I panicked. It seemed like he believed me though.”

  “I think he actually did. In my experience, Spaniards rarely use sarcasm. Their humor is more based around intense physical danger and sexual innuendo.”

  Oh, I know. Diablo was the master of sexual innuendo. Actually, maybe he wasn’t. His sexy comments were neither funny nor innuendo-y. Should I tell Tanner that? It would certainly make him jealous. And I’d kind of loved what had happened in my dream as a result of making Tanner jealous.

  I pressed my thighs together and tried to ignore my overwhelming horniness. But the only thing I could focus on was all the things I could do to Tanner if I could convince him to wear a blindfold during the cake tasting.

  No! Stop it, Ash! I’d already tried to rape Dr. Lyons. I didn’t want it to become a pattern. Besides, I already had to keep track of five incidents. I couldn’t imagine having to keep track of any more. I made a mental note to write them all down. Even if they were all nightmarishly unforgettable.

  Oh no. Whenever I started thinking about the incidents, something terrible usually happened. I swallowed hard. What unspeakable thing was I about to do to Tanner?

  Chapter 62 - Highlight of My Life

  Thursday

  I looked around for some candles that might accidentally somehow set him on fire. But there weren’t any. Besides, I had my fire extinguishers. I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Have you spent a lot of time in Spain?” I asked to try to distract myself. “Your Spanish was so good.”

  “Yeah, I spent a few years there. But I actually learned Spanish when I was living in Argentina.”

  “How many places have you lived?”

  “A lot. I lived all over when I was young.”

  I’d never been able to get a straight answer about his childhood. But by my count he’d mentioned living in at least ten different places. “Was your dad in the military or something?”

  “He was.”

  “What branch?”

  “The royal guard.” Tanner looked away and straightened his utensils.