Something Borrowed, Something Boo

by Shane Morton

  I took a step towards him, and he took a step towards me. I stared up at him, and he looked down on me, our eyes glaring into each other. I wanted to punch him in his pretty-boy mouth.

  Everett and Evan both started cackling.

  “Told you,” Everett said. “Pay up handsome.”

  We all stared at them and watched Evan pull out a twenty-dollar bill and hand it over to his fiancé.

  “You two are going to have a great time together,” Evan said with a smirk on his face.

  “You two made a bet about us,” Blake said, frowning over at them.

  “Yep,” Everett laughed. “Don’t be sore. There will be about sixty guests, and just the two of you standing up for us. I have a list, just in case Danny had forgotten a few things.”

  He walked over and handed it to me, an amused look plastered on his face.

  “You’re a shit,” I said flatly.

  “Yeah but you love me,” Everett smirked. “Danny. Blake. Thank you. Now, Blake- Evan is going to walk you over to the bed and breakfast we booked you, and Danny will pick you up in two hours so you can formulate a game plan. Then we have to get back to work before the bosses get even more annoyed with us.”

  “Come on bro, let’s get your shit,” Evan patted a confused Blake on the shoulder and started walking towards his car.

  Blake took a couple steps and then turned to me. “I guess you know which bed and breakfast?”

  “There’s only the one,” I shrugged.

  “Of course there is,” he turned and followed Evan to his car.

  Everett gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “I seriously didn’t know if you two were gonna fight or make out. Have fun and be nice. I love you.”

  I knew at that moment. This was going to be a shitty week, and I did not like Blake Hudson, no matter how hot he was.

  5

  Blake

  I unpacked my duffel bag and hung up my grey suit in the closet. A quick shower would feel great. As the hot water cleared my mind, I tried to wrap my brain around the hot mess I had walked into today. Planning a wedding in a week is entirely crazy. Doable if you had a wedding planner, maybe? But you would pay out the nose for it.

  Evan and Everett were crazy, no doubt about it. A Halloween wedding? It’s different, but then- so are the two grooms.

  I let the hot water soothe my muscles before I started washing my hair.

  That Danny, though. He is a piece of work. Kind of pompous, maybe even a complete asshole, but he is a total Instagram model waiting to happen. If he left this town and moved to LA or New York, he could have a real shot at being a model. Those chocolate curls of his were making me weak in the knees until he opened his mouth.

  I’m not gay, or anything. I mean, yeah I sleep with guys, but I am a confirmed bi-sexual. I like the ladies too, though maybe not nearly as much. But, I am an actor whose career is based on sex appeal- so my agents, managers, producers, and PR team make sure that the public thinks I am one hundred percent straight. They provide me with a starlet or a pop star every so often for me to take out on a few red carpets, dinners, and plays and I provide them with the press to help perpetuate that lie. The Hollywood closet is massive, and there are quite a few of us ‘confirmed bachelors’ hiding in it.

  Although, I was actually in love with the Oscar nominee until she decided that I couldn’t help her star power anymore, so she found someone with an actual Oscar Winner in their title. That taught me a lesson. People are only interested in me for what I can do for them. Evan excluded, of course. Mom and Dad, I place firmly in that category.

  I turned the water off and grabbed the fluffy towel off of the hanger and dried my body as best I could so I didn’t leave a wet trail all across the floor. I wrapped it around my waist and walked into the small bedroom that would be my home for the next ten days.

  It’s weird, or at least I think it’s odd, that Danny and Everett are still so close. I mean, I know they dated and broke up but they don’t act like they’re broken up. They act like they are the ones getting married. I hope Evan knows what he’s getting into… What am I thinking? Of course, he does. Evan is one of the most calculated people I have ever met, which surprises me that he’s so laid-back about the wedding…

  I pulled on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt that I had lain on the bed and ran my hands over my short hair. I hate this haircut. It’s too short, but that was how they wanted it on the show, not that I have to worry much about that, right now. We start shooting in the spring for one final season that will be aired next summer, and I can’t wait for it to be over. I want people to take me seriously for my acting, not my good looks. Perhaps it’s time to walk away from doing TV, for a while, at least and focus on indie film.

  The phone startled me when it rang. I forgot that landlines even existed and its shrill brrring sound almost made me jump out of my skin.

  Fuck…

  Danny must be here.

  “Hello,” I answer.

  “Blake, Danny is here to pick you up,” Mrs. Markle cooed. She’s sweet. Reminds me of my Grandma, a little; always warm and kind and giving great hugs that made you feel loved. I’ve had two since I got here a little over an hour ago.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Markle. I will be right down.”

  I hang up and grab a light jacket before I head out of the room. Of course, it doesn’t lock… why would it? I head towards the stairs and have to bend my head down, so I don’t whack it on the ceiling halfway down. I turn the corner at the bottom and there he is leaning on the back of the couch, his arms crossed and damn… his biceps are fucking huge… remember he’s an asshole, and you are at your brother’s wedding.

  “Feel better now that you got all of that travel off of you?” he asks nonchalantly. His bright blue eyes sparkle in my direction, and I fight the feeling in my gut to just walk over and kiss him. Maybe that would break this tension, and we could get through the week with no drama. I think it’s clear he has already decided he doesn’t like me, much.

  “Yeah. That shower was a revelation. This place is wonderful,” I look around for Mrs. Markle and smile at Danny. Maybe if I am super charming to him, he might start treating me with a little less hostility. “Ready? What’s first?”

  “We have to wait a second. Mrs. Markle is bringing us a present, and it’s worth waiting for,” he grinned, nodding at me.

  He went home and changed too, I noticed. His tight t-shirt hugged his body perfectly, and the faded jeans contoured every part of him. Danny was about as handsome as a man could get. Evan told me about him. Not exactly warned me, cause Evan actually really likes Danny- which I also think is a little odd, since he and Everett dated, but who I am I to judge.

  Mrs. Markle, who I guess is probably in her sixties, walked around the corner from the kitchen and placed a small plate of cookies on the table in front of us. “Here you go, Danny. Now, don’t you eat them all! You share them with our guest,” she teased him. Danny reached down and gave her a genuine hug.

  “You know how much I love these. Did you bake these delicious cookies just cause I was coming over?” Danny gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

  “Well, let’s just say I had strict orders from that best friend of yours,” she giggled. “But… Yes! You know I did. You’ll always be one of my favorites, honey.”

  “Love you too, Mrs. Markle.”

  “Now you two sit down here, and I won’t bother you anymore. Honey, your brother said that he was going to take you out to dinner tonight, so I’m not gonna bother making food,” she walked over to me and patted me on the arm. “Sit down, enjoy the cookies, and make this the best wedding ever!”

  She wafted out of the room and went back into what I can only assume was her own living quarters in the house. Point Pleasant was a pain in the ass to get to, but so far it had been a lovely little town.

  Danny walked around the couch and sat down in a chair that was nearest to the plate of cookies. “Come on. These are the bomb. Seriously, you have never eaten anythin
g so good in your life.”

  “I don’t really eat cookies,” I shrugged. “But, I guess one won’t hurt me.” I walked over and sat down in the chair across from him. Part of me wished we were sitting on the couch together. Look, it’s been a while, and there is this hot gay guy right here. I can’t help it.

  The look on his face was priceless. “Uh… I’m sorry. Why do you not eat cookies? That’s really stupid. Cookies are awesome.”

  I picked one up from the plate and sniffed it. It smelled like cinnamon and ginger, but it had at least two kinds of melted something in it. The scent wafting from it was amazing.

  “Well, since I always have to be filmed with my shirt off I try to stay in shape. It’s a struggle,” I laughed because it was true. I had a sweet tooth, but I didn’t allow myself to give in to my passions very often. That could be said about most of my desires.

  “That sucks. I mean, all summer long I sit out there with my shirt off, and I eat a lot of cookies. Maybe you just need to spend more time outdoors than at the gym,” he sat back and took a bite. The moan that escaped his lips sent an electric current up my spine. That was hot.

  “Maybe?” Part of me wanted to argue with him about working out, and food but his lust for that cookie took my mind to another place. I took a bite. “Damn… Okay, these are amazing.”

  “Right! Now eat the cookies like a good guest and worry about crunches later,” he laughed. “We have a lot to get through today, and I have plans tonight so, let’s get started.”

  He pulled out an old notebook that was covered in small drawings and scribbles. “What is that ancient relic you have there? Your high school Trapper Keeper?” I teased.

  “Well, you’re not wrong,” Danny laughed. “Except this does not belong to me, it’s Everett’s. He has always been a note-taker, and when he was in high school, he detailed everything he ever wanted about his wedding in here. It’s intense, and we won’t be able to do everything, by a long shot, so we have to figure out what it is that we can do.”

  “That’s… a little Type-A… I can see why he and Evan fit together so well.” I picked up another cookie. Danny grinned at me and gave me a thumbs up. “So let me ask you something. We’re just doing whatever Everett wants? Did my brother chime in about any of this?”

  “He just told me good luck. What did he tell you?” he asked, as he shoved another cookie in his mouth.

  “Nothing, really. Evan just said to make it nice. He likes to please Mom and Dad, I really have stopped trying to figure out why. It’s impossible. But, I’m surprised he’s just going along with this. It’s like its not even his wedding too.” I leaned in a little. “Whatever. So what’s on the list?”

  “A shit ton of crazy, actually. You heard about the entrance to the wedding when we were in the park. A Halloween maze. Now that we can do, but it’s going to be very small scale. I went and spoke to the Greenskeeper yesterday.” He remembered that I had no idea what that was. “Oh, sorry. That’s the plant nursery in town. They are going to rent me every shrub, bush and tree that they have. We can create a small maze with them and use bales of hay in the corners to showcase some Halloween decorations and some carved pumpkins. That will be fun.”

  “That sounds like a lot of work. How big is the maze? Do you have an idea of the square footage that all of those plants will give you?” I asked.

  “Nope. Are you good at this kind of stuff- cause I’m shit at doing math. I thought actors were all learning lines and looking good, instead of getting their hands dirty,” He said a little pointedly. “You sure the paparazzi won’t be lurking out behind the shrubbery?”

  “You don’t know me, Danny. Maybe I’m a little more than that, and yes, I am great at math.” I crossed my arms and sat back into the chair. He really was kind of an ass, I was right. “And the paparazzi have no idea I’m here, and I would like to keep it that way.”

  “Cool. Then you can be in charge of designing the maze,” Danny said flatly like he didn’t really give a shit. “I will decorate it, though. I know what Ev would want.”

  “Whatever. What’s next?” I asked. My brain was a little fuzzy, and I felt a little on edge. Traveling all day can do that to a person, but Danny was not making relaxing any easier.

  “We need to rent chairs and tables. I can take care of that since we will get them from the chalet. I’ve checked, and they’re not using them this weekend, so that’s cool. Next, we have to find someone in town that can cater the food and then we need to get a cake. There are a few places that could do the food, but it's last-minute so who knows. The cake though will be difficult. There’s only one baker in town, and no one has talked to her yet.”

  “This sounds like a nightmare. What if the bakery can’t do it? And also, what about dishes and silverware, the bar, glasses, and staff? Do they have someone who’s marrying them?” I asked, getting even more nervous that this was all up to Danny and me. “This is a lot to ask.”

  “Agreed. But it is our duty, maybe not as Best Men, but as the brother and best friend of the grooms. We’ll do our best and make it work. And to answer all of your questions, no. Except for the preacher- that’s done. But the rest is a work not yet in progress.”

  “That’s what I was afraid you would say. Look, I know nothing about this town, so all of the heavy lifting has to be done by you. Just tell me where to be and what you want me to do. But, this is a fucking disaster. I thought those boys had a little more sense than this.”

  “Everett has no sense. Alright, let’s make our list. We can divide it up.” He shrugged as if this wasn’t a catastrophe in the making. How could he be so calm about everything? It was like he didn’t give a shit.

  “This is going to be a long week.” I leaned in, and we started formulating a very long plan.

  6

  Danny

  I walked into Liberties Pub and saw Crystal and Wally waiting for me over by the darts. Crystal held up a pitcher of beer and smiled at me. That girl knows me well.

  “Hey guys,” I said exasperated as I fell onto the stool they had saved me. “Busy in here tonight.”

  “Always,” Crystal laughed as she poured me a mug of Redrum Ale. It’s always on sale here on Monday nights. “Here you go hot stuff. So… was the whole day a big giant pile of wedding shit?”

  “You know it. Ev is a crazy man,” I downed the glass and gave it back to Crystal to fill.

  “Damn, D! So it was that rough,” she cackled loudly, turning a few of the local's heads in our direction.

  “Keep it down over there, Crystal!” our mailman, Larry yelled over at us, a big lopsided grin plastered to his face.

  “Shut it, Larry!” she teased, yelling back at him. “Don’t make me come over there.”

  “Larry would like you to come over there,” Wally said lasciviously. “Hell, most of the town would like you to come over there.”

  “Yeah, but they all know they couldn’t handle this,” she grinned, knowingly. It was true. Crystal was a handful. “Sooo… Did you meet Evan’s brother? Is he as hot in person?”

  I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head. “Yeah… He’s uh… better in person, even. But, he is kind of a dick. Not a complete waste of space, but, he’s still a Hollywood asshole. I’m not sure that he’s going to be a whole lot of help, but maybe he’ll surprise me.”

  “You know he’s dating that reality star bimbo right now. You know the one about the Malibu family that’s the stylist to the stars on E. She is possibly the stupidest girl on Earth. Supposedly, they are an item.” She gossiped. Crystal was a pop-culture junkie. She was always trying to get us to watch some show about housewives. I was gay… but not that gay!

  “Yeah, I’d believe it. Mr. Hollywood, seems like the type who would date some idiot,” I took a sip. It didn’t really matter if Blake was straight or gay or polyamorous; I wasn’t gonna fuck him no matter how hot he was. “He’s nice if you know what I mean. But you know he’s just humoring the peasants before he goes back to being famous. I
’ve seen enough of his type up at the chalet. They’re all a bunch of narcissists at heart.”

  “Maybe. But they’re just people too, man. Was he really, like, rude or something?” Wally asked.

  “He wasn’t really, rude- just dicky… I don’t know. Man, I have way too much shit to do to have to babysit a grown-ass man.” They raised their glasses, and we clinked.

  “Let’s play some darts,” I said, standing up and grabbing the red darts from the glass holder. “I have to get up early tomorrow, or this wedding isn’t gonna happen.”

  “Oh shit…” Crystal said slowly. “Don’t look now, Danny but Hollywood just walked in here with his brother. Evan’s cute and all but damn…”

  Most of the people in Liberties were now staring over at Evan and his famous brother. Blake had a big stupid grin on his face, and he looked like he was ready to take selfies and sign autographs if he needed to. I was proud to see that everyone stayed in their seats and soon started back to their own conversations, leaving them alone. My town could really give a fuck about celebrities. We see them often enough during the tourist seasons.

  Blake and Evan found a table not too far from ours and started talking. Blake looked crestfallen that no one gave a shit, or maybe that was just his standard look, who knows.

  “We should say hi, right?” Crystal smiled wickedly.

  “Just leave them alone. I don’t want to have to deal with them,” I said as I threw a practice dart at the board. I was a pretty good throw at darts and was a hard man to beat whenever we played a game.

  “You upset at Evan or something?” Wally asked, fishing for information. He had gone to high school with us, too, and was another good friend of ours. He was not very happy when we started dating and blamed both of us when we broke up. Crystal didn’t care. She told us upfront it was gonna end in a fantastic implosion of shit. She was only partly right.

  “No. I mean, I’m a little miffed at him and Everett for throwing this on me.”