Newt Nemesis

by Ali Sparkes

  He dragged in a HUGE breath of air and bellowed, “PIDDLE! PIDDLE! DROP! DROP IT! DROP IT!”

  Piddle suddenly stopped leaping about and came to a surprised halt. He wasn’t the most obedient dog, but he usually did as he was told by his family . . . eventually. And it really DID sound as if one of them had just told him to DROP IT.

  Piddle put his innocent face on and tilted his head in a winning way. Sometimes this won him a few extra seconds of playtime with whatever it was he had got.

  “Piiiiiddle!” came the voice again. Confusingly, from INSIDE his head.

  Well . . . he would put the jumpy green thing down. Like a good dog. Very soon. But first . . . he wanted just a little chew.

  Danny let out a froggy scream as Piddle sat back on his haunches and released the sucky grip on his back legs, only to flip his tongue sideways and swiftly shove them between a set of powerful top and bottom grinding teeth.

  At this point, another jumpy thing suddenly landed with a splat on Piddle’s nose and punched him in the eye. He let out an affronted bark, and the two jumpy things spun out from his shaking snout and landed in the grass. Piddle sneezed twice, and when he next looked, to his great disappointment, his funny, jumpy chew toys had vanished.

  “Thank you! Thank you SO much!” spluttered Danny. He and Charlie were crouching in the gap under the cabin, out of sight of Piddle. He felt his legs, gingerly, and was relieved to find he still had both—although there was a line of dents across his soft green belly, left by Piddle’s incisors. “I was just about to be frog crunch!” he whimpered.

  “I know! It would have been soooo icky!” said Charlie.

  “Icky? Icky?” squawked Danny.

  “We haven’t got time to wait here much longer!” hissed Charlie. “Petty’s puffing up by the second, remember! We HAVE to get into the cabin and get her EpiPen.”

  Danny peered out nervously between the tufts of weed that screened them from the outside world. Piddle was now running away toward the tepee where the show was on. He could make out his mom and dad now too. Dad had called Piddle away and was putting him on the leash.

  “OK—it’s now or never!” he gulped, and they sprang back out into the hot sun and turned to look up at the window.

  “Top window’s open,” said Charlie and leapt up to the sill. “I think I can make it. Can you?”

  “Yes, of course!” said Danny. He wasn’t having a girl showing him up—even if she had just rescued him from the jaws of death.

  They both leapt again up to the open top window.

  “I can see the EpiPen! I can see it!” said Charlie and hopped straight onto Petty’s bedside table.

  The pen, containing Petty’s medicine in a syringe, was big. It lay next to the lens wipe cloth for her spectacles. Although not very heavy, it was awkward. “How are we going to get it back?” wondered Danny. “It’s too long to hold in our mouths. And how are we ever going to inject her?”

  Charlie gazed around, and then her eyes fell on something interesting next to the lens wipe. “I think I have an idea,” she said.

  Rustle. Rustle-rustle. Click. Rustle . . .

  It wasn’t the scariest of noises really. And above Petty’s whistly breathing, he could hardly hear it. But Josh was scared as he perched on Petty’s arm. Very scared. Something was coming out of the compost bin . . .

  “Ooooh! Hurry up, Danny! Get a move on, Charlie!” wailed Josh. How he wished he’d been S.W.I.T.C.H.ed into a frog. At least he would have had a fighting chance then. A frog could leap away from danger in a heartbeat, but not a slow, lumbering newt.

  Newts, he realized glumly, were rubbish.

  Rustle. Rustle-rustle. Click . . . click . . .

  “Oh, PETTY! Wake UP!” he yelled, but Petty, who was now inflated like a rather unattractive bouncy castle, wasn’t going anywhere. What was even more scary was the thought that at any time, the whistly breathing could just stop altogether. He and Danny had never been that fond of Petty—and often quite angry with her. She had played with their health and safety far too often!

  But he realized he would truly miss her if she was no longer messing about in her under-garden lab next door. She was amazing, really. Whacky. Eccentric. Brilliant. Very possibly insane. There would never be another next-door neighbor like her.

  Rustle. Scrape. Suddenly the thing came out of the compost bin at a run. It was brown, spiky, with shoe-button eyes, a twitching sharp snout, and a hungry expression. And it was running straight for him.

  Josh tried to scuttle around into Petty’s armpit, but all he did was fall over, with a damp plop, right in the path of the oncoming beast. Two seconds later, he was in its jaws.

  Hedgehogs. Such cute things. He’d always found them SO endearing. This one wasn’t endearing at all. Its teeth were stabbing into his orange belly as his little arms and legs and tail waved frantically in the air. Once again, Josh prepared to exit from the world as a crunchy snack.

  But then he felt an odd coolness pass across his back and a chemical smell wafted around him.

  A second later, the hedgehog gave an explosive shudder and spat him out in a spray of foam. It gasped and sneezed and snapped, “Newts! Why DO I bother? Yeeeuch!”

  Josh rolled over in the grass and gaped up at the predator, which was now wiping furiously at its snout. Foamy, dribbly snot stuff was flying in all directions. Then Josh remembered. “HA! HA!” he chortled. “I squeezed out toxin through my skin! You got a mouthful of yuck! YAY! Newts ROCK!”

  “Don’t push your luck, ugly,” muttered the hedgehog, spitting out frothy blobs.

  Josh didn’t. He staggered back underneath Petty’s arm.

  “Eeeeurgh! Human!” shrieked the hedgehog, noticing Petty for the first time. It ran away at high speed. Josh looked at his bleeding belly and checked for entrails. No. It was just a light skin wound this time. But the next thing that came along might not be so picky . . .

  “It IS! I bet you it IS!” said Charlie, jumping up and down next to the familiar white spray bottle.

  “It could be anything,” said Danny, eyeing the bottle with mistrust. “It could be SpiderSWITCH . . .” he shuddered. “And then we’d be even worse off than now!”

  “But look—remember—when Petty S.W.I.T.C.H.ed us all, she said she’d mixed up one of the bottles with her lens cleaning spray for her glasses!” explained Charlie. “So if she had the wrong bottle in her coat, she must have mixed it up with the right bottle. The antidote bottle. And this one is right here next to her lens wipe cloth! It’s ANTIDOTE! I know it is!”

  Danny gulped. “Or it could be ToadSWITCH. She lost that one too.”

  “Only one way to find out,” said Charlie.

  “OK,” sighed Danny. “I’ll hold it in front of my face and you—jump on the spray button!”

  He grabbed the bottle and positioned the nozzle side in front of his face. He shut his eyes. “GO!”

  Charlie jumped up and landed both her arms with force on the spray button. Danny closed his mouth and nostrils too and felt the cool spray land on him.

  He felt a familiar tingle. “Better move out of the—”

  “—WAY!” Danny shot up the walls and nearly hit his head on the ceiling. Well—it felt that way. In fact, he was just his usual boy size, sprawling across the wooden floor. As he lay there, dazed, a frog hopped up on his chest—and went on hopping.

  He didn’t need a translator to know that Charlie was shouting, “S.W.I.T.C.H. ME now! S.W.I.T.C.H. ME!”

  “Oh look! It’s Danny! Danny—over here!” called Mom as her son hurtled past with a girl she hadn’t met before.

  “Can’t stop!” yelled Danny. “Saving a life!”

  “OK, dear!” laughed Mom. “Where’s Josh?”

  “Josh is a newt!” yelled back their son.

  Mom smiled at Dad. “Those boys! Always living in a fantasy world!”

  Petty didn’t look good when they got to her. Her face and neck and legs and arms were all swollen, and her skin looked mottled a
nd purple. Charlie lost no time. She pulled the cap off the EpiPen and, like her friend had shown her, drove the spiky bit hard into Petty’s leg, just above the snakebite.

  “Is that it? Is she going to get better?” asked Danny, peering down at Petty in alarm.

  He got his answer four tense minutes later. Petty’s puffiness began to subside very quickly and then her eyes opened and then the whistly noise went out of her breathing. After ten minutes, she was sitting up.

  “You took your time!” she said. “I was nearly DEAD!”

  “Yeah, well—so were we!” said Danny. He glanced back at Charlie and then noticed that Josh wasn’t there. “Hang on! Where’s Josh? Where is he?”

  “Um . . . I’m not sure . . .” said Petty, looking a little awkward. “But I think he may have been eaten by a hedgehog.”

  “WHAT?!” yelled Danny. He sank to his knees, horror struck.

  “He might not have been,” said Petty. “I couldn’t really see much. He was just behind me. I was NEARLY DEAD myself, you know.”

  “This isn’t a HOW NEARLY DEAD I’VE BEEN TODAY competition!” screeched Danny, swiping through the long grass desperately. “JOSH! JOSH! Where are you?!”

  “Stand back,” said Charlie. “And stand still! You might have just stamped on him!”

  Danny peered at the soles of his feet in horror but found no sign of newt squish on them. His heart thundered in his chest as he looked desperately around. Had he lost his twin? How would he ever explain this to Mom and Dad? How would he ever cope with spiders under his bed without Josh? He gulped.

  Then Charlie stepped carefully forward and sent a long spray of S.W.I.T.C.H. antidote into the grass. Then another long spray. Then another.

  FWUMP! Josh suddenly elbowed Petty hard in the ear.

  “Aaargh!” she yelled. “MIND OUT! Don’t you know I was NEARLY DEAD?!”

  “Well I got chewed by a hedgehog!” announced Josh. But he jumped to his feet and gave Charlie and Danny a joint hug. “We’re all ALIVE!” he grinned.

  “Yes!” beamed Charlie. She looked at her watch. “And we’ve got just under a minute to get to the tepee and do the show!”

  “Hurry up! Hurry up!” hissed Amy as soon as she saw Charlie, Danny, and Josh running toward the tepee. “Everyone’s here and Drill Serg—I mean, Steve, is furious you’re holding everything up!”

  They flung themselves into their costumes, with great relief that their legs and feet were normal again. One minute later, they rushed to the end of the lineup of caveman dancers. Nobody would have noticed they were late, thought Danny. Nobody would notice anything unusual at all.

  Even Petty, looking perfectly normal again and not remotely puffy or nearly dead, had taken a seat among the parents. Mom and Dad waved. Piddle, carefully leashed and sitting nicely between Dad’s knees, grinned and lolled his tongue about. Mom got out her video camera.

  Josh allowed himself to sigh with relief. It was all over. Then they began their dance.

  After a few moments, everyone started gasping and staring. Mouths fell open and cameras dropped unheeded into laps.

  Josh had fallen over and was sluggishly crawling across the tepee floor, waving his hands about in front of him in a wobbly way. He had no coordination at all. He guessed it was a S.W.I.T.C.H. aftereffect.

  But that wasn’t what the audience—and now most of the caveman dancers—were gasping and staring at. No. That would be Danny and Charlie, merrily leaping up and down and hitting their heads against the top of the tent pole every time . . .

  “How can you do that?” yelled Drill Sergeant. “It’s got to be ten feet high!”

  “Erm . . .” said Petty. “It’s just the country air. It puts a spring in their step . . .”

  abdomen: the main part of an animal’s body

  allergy: a condition that some people have that makes their bodies react badly to things they eat or drink or touch or breathe in

  amphibian: an animal that can live on land and in water

  antidote: a medicine that can reverse the effects of a poison

  bulbous: fat, round, or bulging

  cellular: something made from a group of living cells

  EpiPen: a medical device used to treat allergic reactions

  hijack: to take control of something by force

  incisors: sharp-edged front teeth

  mammals: animals that give birth to live young and feed them with their own milk

  molars: the wide teeth at the back of the jaw—used for chewing

  predator: an animal that hunts other animals

  prey: an animal that is hunted by another animal

  proboscis: the long, sucking nose of an insect

  reptiles: cold-blooded animals. Lizards and snakes are reptiles.

  serum: fluid used in science and for medical purposes

  tepee: a cone-shaped tent, often made of canvas or animal skin

  toxin: a poisonous substance

  venom: poison that can be squirted from the fangs of an animal to kill or stun its prey. Some snakes are venomous.

  BOOKS

  Want to brush up on your reptile and amphibian knowledge? Here’s a list of books dedicated to slithering and hopping creatures.

  Johnson, Jinny. Animal Planet™ Wild World: An Encyclopedia of Animals. Minneapolis: Millbrook Press, 2013.

  McCarthy, Colin. Reptile. DK Eyewitness Books. New York: DK Publishing, 2012.

  Parker, Steve. Pond & River. DK Eyewitness Books. New York: DK Publishing, 2011.

  WEBSITES

  Find out more about nature and wildlife using the websites below.

  San Diego Zoo Kids

  http://kids.sandiegozoo.org/animals

  Curious to learn more about some of the coolest-looking reptiles and amphibians? This website has lots of information and stunning pictures of some of Earth’s most interesting creatures.

  National Geographic Kids

  http://kids.nationalgeographic.com/kids/

  Go to this website to watch videos and read facts about your favorite reptiles and amphibians.

  US Fish & Wildlife Service

  http://www.nwf.org/wildlife/wildlife-library/amphibians-reptiles-and-fish.aspx

  Want some tips to help you look for wildlife in your own neighborhood? Learn how to identify some slimy creatures and some scaly ones as well.

  CHECK OUT ALL OF THE TITLES!

  Ali Sparkes grew up in the woods of Hampshire, England. Well—not in the sense that she was raised by foxes after being abandoned as a baby—she had parents, OK? Human parents. But they used to let her run wild in the woods. But not wild as in “grunting and covered in mud and eating raw hedgehog.” Anyway. During her fun days in the woods, she once took home a muddy frog in a bucket, planning to clean it up nicely and keep it as a pet. But her mom made her take it back. The frog agreed with her mom.

  Ali now lives in Southampton with her husband and two teenage sons and a very small garden pond, which has never yet attracted any frog spawn or even half a newt. Ali is trying not to take this personally.

  Ross Collins’s more than eighty picture books and books for young readers have appeared in print around the world. He lives in Scotland and, in his spare time, enjoys leaning backward precariously in his chair.