Mollywood (Carved Hearts #2)

by L. G. Pace III

  “Molly. She had a seizure. I have to get to the hospital.” Mac held up his phone and I saw the app for hailing a cab up.

  “One’s pulling up outside. Let’s go.” Mac took the lead with Mason trailing along behind me. The trip to the hospital was a blur. Mason was texting with Robin, who was in the ambulance with Molly.

  “She hit her head on the coffee table when she seized, so there was some bleeding.” Mason relayed. The boys were jabbering a thousand miles a minute, but I didn’t hear much of what they said.

  “She’s going to be alright.” I murmured, and several minutes later I realized I’d been chanting it like a mantra. Mason had fallen into a stoic silence and Mac looked like he might cry. I felt the cold skeletal hands of death wrap around my heart.

  Again.

  Pulling up to the hospital was like reliving a nightmare. UMC at Breckinridge was the same hospital that Jessica had been brought to after the accident. It wasn’t fair to think it, but the place had cost me both her and Jack. Logically, I knew this was a major oversimplification, but emotionally none of that mattered. Frigid chills ran up and down my spine that had nothing to do with the temperature outside. Stepping out of the cab, I focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Inside my head, the demon, composed of pure rage and fear threatened to escape. The bars of his cage were bent and tattered, barely keeping terror from consuming me.

  I’m not sure how I got inside to the waiting area. A matronly nurse behind the counter advised us that Molly had just arrived. She took me aside and began asking me questions. Gibbering laughter rang inside my head as the insane monster rattled the last remaining bars but Betty joined us a moment later and somehow we managed to tell the nurse everything she wanted to know. Mason came over as she finished and led me back to the waiting area.

  “Robin’s with her, Joe.” He explained, trying to engage me in conversation. “She said that Molly had another seizure on the way here and that the paramedics gave her anti-seizure medication. Molly’s doctor is on her way.”

  When I entered the waiting room, I saw Tamryn sitting in the exact chair she’d camped in when we went through this with Jess. My mind officially tripped over itself, and I actually froze in place. Dan and Granny sat on each side of Tamryn, and all three hurried to stand when they saw me. I felt a tug on my sleeve and saw Betty had followed me into the waiting area.

  “Honey.” Betty sniffed, and I allowed her to embrace me, understanding even in my wrecked state of mind that this must be as traumatizing for her as it was for me.

  “What…” I started, not sure exactly what I planned to ask.

  “We were passing around Dan’s cute little sailor suit and Molly had just come back from using the restroom. She kept on rubbing her right side.” Tamryn said in a rush.

  “She asked me for some Tylenol for a little headache right after y’all left.” Dan added, looking shell-shocked. “She was laughing and having a good time, so I thought she must have been feeling better.”

  “Do you need me to call your doctor?” Tamryn asked, her eyes locking onto mine like laser sights.’

  “She’s on her way.” I replied, sounding as hollow and lost as I felt.

  Tamryn reached up and put her hands on my shoulders. “Not Molly’s doctor, JoJo. Yours.”

  I collapsed into a chair, unable to deal with the onslaught. Leaning forward, I put my head in my hands and tried to pull myself together. For several minutes I took slow deep breaths, trying to focus and telling myself we were in the right place and that things could have been so much worse. Thank goodness Molly quit working.

  “Can you imagine if she’d been working with those sharp knives?” Granny blurted.

  “Or in the shower? Or walking down a flight of stairs?” Dan agreed. My eyes cutover at them, and though I knew they were trying to help, I wanted to pick up a chair and throw it at them. It must have shown on my face, because Tamryn suggested they go get a cup of coffee and call Lisa and Jay who were at the house with all the kids.

  I was just starting to get the beast back in the box when there was a ruckus at the nurse’s station that drew my attention. Looking up, I saw a young man in a white coat making his way toward me. A moment of pure, unadulterated panic nearly consumed me.

  “Mr. Jensen? I’m Dr. Franklin. I need to talk to you. Can you come with me please?” Rising from my seat I looked around and met Tamryn’s eyes. She started toward me and I let her take my arm as I trailed leadenly behind the doctor. He led us through a door and motioned us to chairs. “I’m sorry, miss but who are you?”

  “I’m his sister. Doctor, can you tell us what’s going on?” The man looked at me and I nodded.

  “Mr. Jensen, your fiancé has suffered several seizures. We’ve given her some medication to stop them, and it seems to have worked for the time being.” Suddenly a nurse came charging into the room.

  “Dr. Myers is here.” She interrupted.

  “Excuse me for moment.” Dr. Franklin said, darting off after the nurse.

  “What the hell?’ Tamryn grumbled and I simply stood rooted to the spot wondering what the hell myself. Moments later Dr. Myers burst out of the security doors and strutted in my direction. Her younger male colleague trailed behind.

  “Joe. Sorry I took so long but I wanted to review the situation in person. Molly’s seizures are a game changer. The plan was to induce her, but the position of your daughter has complicated the issue. The baby girl is currently breech and she’s the one closest to the birth canal. Molly’s still a little confused, which is completely normal following a seizure. I need your permission to proceed with an emergency C-section.” Tamryn gasped next to me and squeezed my hand hard enough to crush bones. I felt the room slipping away and concentrated on the pressure of her hand. The universe was tormenting me all over again, but I didn’t have time to feel sorry for myself.

  “But t…the babies aren’t due for another four weeks.” I stammered.

  Dr. Franklin nodded reassuringly and Dr. Myers shook her head.

  “That’s true, unfortunately the seizures take us from preeclampsia to eclampsia. The only cure is delivery. Both babies are in good shape at the moment and they are nearly full term. All three of them are in more danger at this point if we don’t deliver.”

  My vision narrowed to tunnels of diminishing light and I struggled to breathe. The doctors both reached out for me. Dr. Myers had me sit and place my head down between my knees taking deep breaths. After several moments, I was able to sit upright again.

  “What do you need me to do?” The voice that rasped out of my throat was that of an old man. Tamryn struggled to hold back tears, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

  “We need your permission to operate. A NICU team is standing by for each of the babies. We have some of the most skilled doctors and nurses in the state.” The surreal nature of the conversation was almost laughable.

  “And there are no other options?” Molly would want me to be sure. She’d talked at length about how she’d fight to keep the babies from being born premature. It was her main motivation when she quit working. I already knew the answer. They wouldn’t have dragged me into a private room to talk to me if there was.

  “I’m afraid not, Joe. And the longer we wait the more complicated this will be. I’m afraid I need an answer now.”

  The sun shone down out of a clear blue sky that made the late morning dew sparkle on the deep green grass. I stepped out of the truck and grabbed the flowers from the seat. Turning I let my feet lead me down the familiar path that wound through the graveyard. Each step reminded me of how unfair life was, how none of us ever had a warning when life ended for us. There was no expiration date stamped on the bottom of our feet. How much simpler everything would be if there was.

  The gravel had been replaced on the path and the footing was questionable in areas. I slowed my pace as I got closer to my destination. Frankly, this wasn’t where I wanted to be right now. Pain and misery permeated the place for me like rot and
termites in wood. With a heavy heart, I came to a stop in front of Jessica and Jack’s headstones. The ground to the left was mounded with fresh earth, the sight of it pierced me with sorrow. Sinking down on my haunches in front of the gravestones I placed a hand on each of them.

  “Hey Jess, hey Jack. Sorry, it’s been a while, I’ve been dealing with a lot lately.”

  Taking the flowers I separated them into two bundles and lay one before each headstone.

  “The space next to you guys is full now. Jess, I know the plan was to have me planted there beside you when I died, but things have changed…I hope you guys don’t mind the new neighbor. I sold the plot to a really nice family. If I’m going to have a chance of rejoining the living I have to let go.” I sat for a few minutes, talking to them, explaining about my new family and how much they needed me. After my confession, I rose and retraced my steps to the truck. It felt good…lighter having visited them.

  By the time I got back into the truck, I felt like another chunk of weight had dropped away. The last few weeks had been filled with a mind bending number of twists and turns, and I was ready for some peace.

  That day at the hospital I’d truly thought I was going to lose my mind. Facing such similar choices with Molly that I had with Jess had driven me to the edge of my sanity. Dr. Greene had arrived shortly after my panic attack began in Dr. Franklin’s office. If Tamryn had not had the foresight to call him, I’m not sure what I would have done.

  He was able to help me through in his usual heavy handed fashion.

  “I don’t think I can make the call.” I shook my head.

  “Joe. This is a no-brainer.” Dr. Green’s voice was stern and loud. “What would Molly do?”

  My eyes shot to his and I nodded in understanding. I immediately gave the okay and the medical staff leapt into action. Tamryn and Dr. Greene took me back to the waiting area. Tamryn fielded questions from both sides of the family while I sat to the side with Dr. Greene.

  “I’m proud of you, Joe.” He stated quietly, and I looked up at him in utter disbelief.

  “Why in God’s name would you say that?” I blinked stupidly at him, and he leaned forward, fixing his stern gaze on me.

  “You’ve kept yourself in check. You’re letting these people do their job. It shows growth.” He sat back and picked up a magazine. The doc and I had already discussed the scenario of a complicated delivery, and I had agreed that I would be in no condition to be in the room if any problems arose. It was one thing to have the conversation in the mellow ambiance of his office, and quite another to be told I wasn’t allowed in because she was under general sedation. The thought of them slicing into my girl made my head throb. Though I was irritated to have the doc here analyzing me at a time like this, I could see that, as always, he had a point.

  Waiting was pure torture, but at least I wasn’t alone. Robin couldn’t do it either. She paced the floor, clearly shaken by the experience, and Mason and Mac took her outside to smoke. They came back with a large cup of coffee for me, and she launched into a detailed blow by blow of the ambulance ride that oddly made me feel better. Though her terminology was way over my head with talk of post-ictal states and general anesthesia, it was good to know someone I trusted could speak the language.

  An hour later, Dr. Franklin came out and advised that the babies were in incubators in the NICU, but were both doing well. Molly was in recovery and though she was still asleep, she was stable and her blood pressure had already improved. They’d know more when they got her post op labs back.

  I was pretty shaky as a nurse took me by the arm led me down the hall to the NICU. She had me wash my hands about three times and gown up and then led me to a chair which I gratefully folded myself into. Two nurses wheeled a pair of rectangular plastic things over to me. Peeking inside, I saw a blue swaddled baby in one and a pink swaddled baby in another.

  “Can I hold them?” My voice caught and the words came out in a whisper.

  “Of course Mr. Jensen.” A matronly dishwater blond with a severe nose, motioned to the two other nurses flanking the babies. With practiced ease, they gently removed them and slowly approached me, placing a baby in each of my arms.

  The warmth of the little bundles surprised me. Eagerly peering down at them, I met my daughter’s eyes, and a yawn twisted her lips showing bright pink gums. The breathtaking beauty of the little angel nestled against me was unreal. A coo pulled my attention to my son and I looked just as he spit his tongue out at me in a very Molly-like way.

  “Hey there you two. I’m your daddy.” The nurses had withdrawn a bit and I whispered the words, afraid talking too loud might scare the little darlings. Both of them looked at me with the most amazing expression on their faces, as if they recognized my voice. I sat, feeling the sting of happy tears. I could hardly breathe I was so caught up in the enormity of the moment.

  My children. Safe and sound. Molly. Safe and resting.

  The nurses let me hold my children for what seemed like far too short a time. I made the most of every second, memorizing their faces as if we were on borrowed time. I whispered many promises to them, mostly about how I’d never let anything happen to them. When the nurse finally insisted they needed to go back under the warmers, I reluctantly obliged and hurried down to Molly’s room. I spent the next couple of hours watching my girl sleep. Seeing her beautiful face battered like it was, broke my heart. She had a split lip and two butterfly bandages on her eyebrow. That eye was black and blue and painful to look at, but it was a major relief to hear the encouraging beeps from her monitors. I asked if I could see the babies again, but Molly’s nurse told me that I needed to wait for the NICU nurses to get them settled in.

  “We’re taking care of them, Mr. Jensen, right now you need to be with your wife.” She looked so serious for someone so young. I didn’t have the heart to blurt out that Molly wasn’t my wife.

  Dr. Greene stopped in and sat with me for a while after that, but I finally told him to go. He looked pensively in Molly’s direction, and then spoke.

  “Congrats, Joe. You’ll make a great father.” He sounded different and I looked in his direction. His eyes gleamed in the light and he cleared his throat before he spoke. “Call me if you need me, okay?” He waited just long enough for me to nod before slipping out the door. It was an uncharacteristic bit of emotion from the doc and I was touched by it. I sat there alone…just listening to Molly breathe. The rhythmic sound lulled me into a doze.

  “Joe?” Her shaky voice snapped me to alertness. Her confused expression as she glanced around the room tugged at my heart. Leaning over, I took her hand gently in mine and pressed my lips to her moist forehead.

  “Thank God, little girl. You gave me a hell of a scare. How are you feelin’?” Molly blinked vacantly and tried to sit up. I put my hands on her shoulders and shook my head. “Stay still baby, you need to rest.”.

  “Where are we? What’s going on?” Reaching up, I brushed her hair away from her bruised and swollen face.

  “We’re at Breckinridge. They brought you in after you had a seizure. Do you remember anything?” Wrinkling her brow, she stared at me in terror, her hand going to her diminished abdomen.

  “Oh God! Joe! The babies! What happened to the babies?”

  “Dr. Myers delivered them. She took them C-section. They’re in the NICU.” She gasped and burst into tears, I bent down to embrace her. “It’s okay… honey, it’s okay. The pediatrician said it’s just a precaution, They’re small, but they’re both doing fine.”

  I let her cry it out, holding her in my arms with every protective instinct in me firing at once. I figured she needed to process everything I’d been struggling with for the last few hours, and I knew I needed to shut up and just be present. When she started to wind down, I whispered in her ear.

  ”I was so scared I was going to lose all of you.” Her arms tightened around me and I let relief wash over me.

  I spent the next 24 hours bouncing back and forth between Molly’s room and
the babies. I held my children and helped with their first baths, making sure to snap tons of pictures with my phone for Molly. Molly studied every one carefully through her taped together glasses which she’d broken during her first seizure. She forwarded the pictures to Stacy, knowing she could count on her to show them to the world.

  On one of my trips over to the NICU, I was surprised to discover my father and mother in the twin’s room, rocking them in side by side rockers. They exchanged a nervous glance when they saw me, but their proud smiles won out.

  “Joseph, they’re absolutely darling.” My mother gushed.

  “Thank you.” I replied, running a hand over Logan’s unruly hair.

  “We love the names you chose. Very dignified.” My father said, and though my first instinct was to sniff at the pretentious comment and question its subtext, I decided to take his compliment at face value.

  “We thought so.” I remarked.

  The following morning, Dr. Myers declared that Molly’s rebound after delivery was impressive. She refused to remove Molly’s catheter, but her nurse and I were allowed to push her over to the NICU on a stretcher so that she could have her first look at Logan and Eva. Eva was wide awake and in the middle of a diaper change, so the nurse brought her over first.

  “Hi, Eva. Molly drew out the “e” in our daughter’s name and sucked in a loud breath at the sight of her.” Oh, Joe! She’s so little.”

  “Five pounds, one ounce.” I informed her, as I took Eva from the nurse and placed her gently in Molly’s arms.

  “She’s hungry.” The nurse stated, handing Molly a premade bottle of formula.

  The sunny smiled that bloomed on Molly’s face was pure heaven. “She looks just like you.”

  “Poor thing.” I snickered, reaching out to stroke Eva’s impossibly soft cheek. I thought she looked like a bald, grumpy old man, so I could see the resemblance.

  “They’re beautiful.” The nurse cooed, swaddling Logan and carrying him to Molly. I helped her place a pillow on her lap and Robin assisted her as she took our son in her other arm.