Brides of Bannack Box Set: Mail Order Bride

by Natalie Dean

  She nodded, and Lottie gave her a hug. "You know Cecilia couldn't cook when she got here. We all have to learn something new. I was a nurse in the city so caring for a home wasn't something I was accustomed to doing. We'll help and don't be afraid to ask if you need it. Carson is a good man, I want you to know that."

  "Everyone ready to go?" Cecilia shouted up the stairs. She and Lottie planned to drop Sarah off at the Edwards farm. They figured she needed time alone with Carson and the children. It was the only way she'd know for sure if she could cope. However, Sarah was unaware of their plan. Cecilia thought it best not to spook her.

  Sarah pulled at her collar as they rode out in the sun. The heat was stifling, and despite Lottie and Cecilia's advice to open her collar, Sarah hadn't. She was feeling the heat now. It was getting hard to breath.

  "Look, Sarah, there's the homestead now," Cecilia said. Lottie sat in the back of the wagon with the twins.

  As she looked ahead, Sarah wasn't quite sure what she thought of the little cabin. This would be her new home. There was also a barn and a well. She was used to indoor plumbing in the city. Her breathing became more shallow as she thought about the enormity of the task ahead. Cecilia was going on about how to milk a cow, how to feed the horses, how to manage the laundry. Sarah's head was spinning from the information overload.

  "Papa, Papa," the children squealed with delight as they saw Carson. Despite her headache and heat exhaustion, Sarah was happy to see the bond between Carson and his children. It reminded her of her father.

  "Did you grow since yesterday, Billy? I'm sure you’ve gotten taller since I last saw you," Carson teased as Billy puffed out his chest.

  "Pa, I'll be able to go riding with you soon," the little man said as Carson lifted him into the air and onto the ground.

  "Don't forget me, Papa," Jane said as Carson lifted his daughter out of the wagon. She put her little hands around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Papa, Mama Sarah is staying with us," she smiled so sweetly as she cuddled into her father.

  "I've prepared a basket of food for the day," Cecilia said as she jumped off the wagon. Lottie was busy carrying the children's belongings. They were walking towards the cabin when Jane cried out. "Mama Sarah."

  They turned to see Sarah slump over, and she was about to fall off the wagon but Carson, depositing Jane on the ground, ran to break Sarah's fall as she fainted.

  "I've got you," Carson said as Sarah's eyes opened. She looked into his strong face. She had never been so close to a man before. She'd never been held like this, and her heart skipped a beat as he looked into her eyes.

  "Let's get you out of the sun," he said as he maneuvered through the doorway of the cabin. He sat her on the rocking chair where Maggie used to sit at night doing the mending.

  "Have some water. You forget how the newcomers find the heat too strong," Lottie said as she got some water and a cloth to bring down Sarah's temperature.

  Sarah could feel something wet touch her hand, and as she looked down, she saw a dog. "Hello, there, Lola." Lola wagged her tail at the new arrival and seemed to want to jump on Sarah's lap.

  "That's odd," Carson said, "she usually growls at strangers."

  "Well, dogs are good judges of people. So now we know you're a good person, Sarah," Lottie chuckled. She was happy this was working out well so far. It was going to be down to Carson and Sarah to make this arrangement work.

  "We must go," Cecilia announced as she looked at the petrified look on Sarah's face. "One of us will be back for you later, Sarah."

  "I don't think I should be here alone. Please stay. I don't know what I'm doing," Sarah pleaded as she followed them out the door but Lottie and Cecilia told her she'd be okay. She had Carson and the children to guide her on what she needed to do.

  Carson and Sarah stood awkwardly on the porch, neither knowing what to say or do. Billy broke the ice by demanding something to eat.

  "Let's see what's in the basket," Sarah said. Carson watched her with the children. She was a natural. Anyone observing the interaction would easily assume Sarah was their mother. There was an ease between them. The children even had the same dark hair as Sarah. He and Maggie were fair-haired. He was used to comments about the children's hair being so dark.

  While he didn't agree with their methods, Cecilia and Lottie were right. The children needed someone to love them, a warm woman who would cherish his children. He knew that love didn't depend on being blood related. His love for the children was a testament to that. He prayed that Maggie was approving. It seemed so soon and yet life needed to go on. Tears came to his eyes as he thought of his Maggie. If only he'd left the dog behind that day. He had replayed that day over and over.

  He couldn't watch what should be Maggie's role. He had to talk to his wife and beg her forgiveness. Sarah looked back at Carson, only to see him walk away. She wondered what she'd done wrong to cause Carson to leave.

  "Where's your papa going?" she asked.

  "Probably to talk to Mama. He goes out there when he's sad. He doesn't know I know that," Billy said as he bit into one of Cecilia's cakes.

  "Billy, we have to share," Sarah said as she took the cake from him, "but first we need to wash our hands. Help me get some water from the well." Sarah was a little relieved that Carson wasn't watching her first attempt at lowering the bucket into the well. Billy and Jane laughed as Sarah went to grab the full bucket of water, releasing the rope too early and causing the bucket to plunge back into the well. Sarah soon got the knack of it and set about boiling some water. Carson had a fire going, so she hadn't to worry about lighting a fire.

  As she sat with the children at the table, with a place for Carson, Sarah asked Billy about his mother. He told her how Maggie was buried nearby, but Carson didn't want them visiting the grave with him. Billy became a little sad as he thought about his mother and Sarah decided to change the mood.

  "Do you want to hear a song that my mama used to sing to me?" Sarah asked, and the little children nodded yes. Sarah pulled the children onto her lap and with Lola lying by her feet began to sing: einini, einini, codalaigi, codalaigi, einini, einini, codalaigi.

  Sarah had the sweetest voice, and the children were mesmerized by the sound of it.

  "What does it mean?" Jane asked. Sarah began to sing in English: little birds, little birds, sleep, sleep, little birds, little birds, sleep.

  The children began to sing the strange words that Sarah used. Her heart was filled with love and sorrow as she remembered her mother teaching it to her. Sarah hadn't spoken Gaelic for a long time.

  "Do you miss your mama?" Jane asked as her little hand wiped away Sarah's tears.

  "I do, Jane. I miss her very much. But we must remember to be happy too. Your mama and my mama wouldn't want us to be sad. Even though they’re up in heaven with God, they will always be here in our hearts. Let's sing again," Sarah said, and she and the children sang.

  Meanwhile, Carson sat by Maggie's grave. "What do you think about this situation Maggie? It isn't right having a stranger with our children," he said as he sobbed his heart out.

  A slight breeze had started to pick up, but to Carson, it was like Maggie stroking his face. She was his true strength. All she had endured in life. She had been so happy here. Sheriff Dexter was still no wiser about who had taken his Maggie's life, but Carson wanted revenge.

  Then he heard the sound. It was faint. It sounded tranquil and melancholic. He looked around. The sound was coming from the direction of his home. It was hypnotic, and Carson was drawn to it. As he neared the cabin, the sound got louder. He could hear the children's voices wrapped with the woman's voice. It was his children singing, with Sarah. He stood in the doorway and watched as Sarah and the children looked so peaceful. It was so different from the last time he was drawn to the house.

  The children looked so content. Was Maggie telling him to accept Sarah? He looked around as though wishing her to send him a sign but seeing their children happy was all Maggie had ever wanted. Sarah looked
sad. He never considered her having sorrow. How could he? He knew nothing about her, but Carson wasn't sure that he wanted to know anymore. She was here to help the children heal, to love them. Not him.

  Chapter Six

  Lola wagged her tail and went to greet her master. Sarah blushed as she knew he had heard her singing. Carson was looking at her. She felt uncomfortable. Sarah didn't like being the center of attention.

  "You don't mind, do you?" she asked, but Carson shook his head and turned away. Sarah had no experience of men to know if he was annoyed with her.

  "More, more," Billy said as Sarah lifted him off her lap. "Later, Billy. I'm here to learn the things your mama used to do."

  Sarah and the children followed Carson out to the barn. Carson seemed surprised by their presence.

  "Do you know how to milk a cow?" he asked. Sarah shook her head. There was some memory at the back of her mind of milking a cow, but it was so long ago. Carson set the stool by the cow's udder and placed a pail ready to capture the milk. Sarah took up position. She tried to remember what Cecilia had told her but in her anxiety, she remembered nothing. Sarah squeezed, but nothing came out.

  "That's not the way Mama used to do it," Billy tutted.

  "Leave Mama Sarah alone, Billy. Mama Sarah, talk to Daisy and pet her," Jane offered her advice.

  "Good girl," Sarah said, feeling a little foolish. The cow still chewing the cud turned to look at the woman and made a grunting sound at Sarah.

  "I'll show you," Carson said as he wrapped his hands around Sarah's. "This is the motion you need," Carson said. His cheek was almost resting against Sarah's. She could feel his breath, and her heart stopped. Was this what it was like to be so close to a man? Her heart was beating so fast she was sure it was visible. She closed her eyes to calm herself. All that did was intensify Carson's presence. His manly scent wafting up her nostrils.

  "Sarah, you do it now," Carson was talking to her and Sarah could feel heat rising from her cheeks.

  "Look how red Sarah is," Billy said.

  "Billy, why don't you sit over there," Carson said. He saw how uncomfortable Sarah was and he wanted to divert attention from her. He had heard her breathing become rapid. She had a sweet smell to her. It was different than Maggie who had favored lavender in her water when washing. There was a fragility about her which he hadn't noticed before. In fact, he had paid little attention to her until now.

  Sarah was determined to get some milk and prove her worth. She squealed with delight when the milk began to flow into the pail. But Sarah didn't understand Daisy's twitching leg, and before Carson could intervene, Daisy kicked the milk pail over and sent Sarah flying off her stool.

  Billy began to laugh as Jane ran to help to Sarah. Carson was trying to stifle a giggle. Sarah was covered in milk.

  "Mama never did it that way," Billy, the observer, noted.

  Sarah reckoned she must look a sight, but as she looked down at herself, she began to laugh. So much of her life was about doing things right from the start, and here a cow had shown her who was boss. As Carson helped her up, he couldn't help but chuckle.

  "It happened to Maggie and me too. Old Daisy is temperamental. Let's get you cleaned up," Carson said.

  "I don't want to go into the cabin like this. I'll clean up here," Sarah said. Her clothes would need to be washed. She could smell the milk, and if she didn’t wash them, the smell would be sour within hours.

  "Billy and Jane, you come with me. You'd best get those wet clothes off," Carson said but Sarah couldn't. She had no other clothes to wear.

  "Sarah, try these," Carson called out as he threw a shirt and trousers of his into the barn. Sarah looked at the clothes. Was he serious? She assumed he'd give her something from Maggie. She dressed but had to hold up the trousers. As she walked out of the barn, Jane began to laugh. "Mama Sarah, you look silly."

  "I do look a sight," Sarah said.

  "Use this," Carson undid his gun belt, so Sarah would have something to keep the trousers up. He wrapped it around her waist, but the belt was still too big. He caught the scent from her hair again. Carson closed his eyes as he inhaled. He paused for a moment.

  "Papa, use Lola's rope," Billy offered as he stroked Lola who stood beside him.

  "Good idea Billy," Carson said as he undid the rope from where Lola was supposed to be tied up at night. He tied it around Sarah's tiny waist. "There we go. If you wash out your clothes, they'll be dry by the time you head back to Bannack. I have to ride out for a bit. Billy, you're in charge, so look after Sarah and Jane," Carson said as he went to saddle up his horse.

  Sarah looked at Billy. There was something in his mannerism that reminded her of her father. It was perplexing. Jane was the image of Katie and Billy looked like her dad. Sarah knew she must be imagining things. She washed out her clothes and hung them up to dry. The sun was hot, and she figured it wouldn't take long for the clothes to dry in this heat.

  She took the children for a walk although Billy was hesitant about leaving the cabin. It was dusty. Lola began to bark, but Sarah couldn't see what had attracted the dog's attention. Then she heard the hiss. It was a snake. Jane cried out, and Billy was telling Lola to come back to him. Sarah pushed the children behind her, out of harm's way. A shot rang out, and the snake was scattered into pieces. Sarah screamed at the sound of the shot. She looked up to see Carson bounding towards them on horseback. He jumped off his horse and hugged the children.

  "Why did you come out here? There are snakes everywhere. The children or the dog could have been bitten," he shouted at Sarah. Sarah began to cry. She didn't know about snakes, no one told her. For a moment, it felt like she was back in the big house again, expected to know things she didn't.

  "Go back to the house and stay there. This isn't the city where you can go wandering about," Carson was annoyed with himself for getting angry with Sarah, but he was so afraid of losing the children. Although it hadn't escaped his notice how she put herself in the line of danger, protecting the children. Maggie had wanted a dog for protection and Lola had saved them today. But Carson had let Maggie down by taking Lola with him. He watched Sarah run away. She was so young and knew nothing of country life. Carson felt guilty. He didn't want Sarah to leave.

  "Papa, why are you angry with Mama Sarah?" Jane asked as he carried her and her brother back to the cabin.

  "Papa shouldn't have gotten angry, but I was afraid something bad would happen. I'll apologize to her. You like Sarah, don't you?" Carson asked.

  "She smells nice," Jane said, and Billy agreed as he added that Sarah reminded him of his mama. Carson was put out to see Cecilia arriving as they neared the cabin. He needed to talk to Sarah. Would Sarah leave and never come back?

  As Sarah ran back to the cabin, she told herself she would leave this place forever. She didn't belong anywhere. No matter how much she loved the children already, she didn't think she could cope with life in Bannack. Wiping away her tears, she was glad to see Cecilia. Cecilia was waving at her, expecting the day to have gone well.

  "What happened?" Cecilia asked. She could see Carson and the children coming closer. She knew it wasn't her place to make judgments, but she felt responsible for Sarah's being there. Sarah told her what happened without any embellishment.

  "I'm sure it's a misunderstanding Sarah. We didn't tell you what happened to Maggie. Carson was in the fields and came back to find Maggie shot dead, lying on the ground. I think his anger was masking fear. He is a good man, I've told you before," Cecilia put a comforting arm around Sarah as she spoke. As she comforted Sarah, Cecilia couldn’t help but wonder what on earth her new friend was wearing.

  Carson approached the women and passed the children to Cecilia. He took Sarah by the arm and walked her away from Cecilia.

  "Sarah, I'm sorry for speaking to you like that. I'm on edge since what happened to Maggie. I see danger everywhere. I forget that you don't know about snakes and things like that. I should have warned you. Please don't leave us. The children would miss y
ou. I see how attached they are to you. I can't promise, though I'd like to, that I'll never raise my voice again but I'll do my best." Carson looked away. He didn't know how Sarah would react to his words.

  "No one has ever apologized for speaking harshly to me. Thank you for that. If I'd known about the snakes, I wouldn't have endangered the children. I'll go back to Bannack with Cecilia now, but I'd like to visit again tomorrow. I want to be sure of my decision," she said in her softly spoken voice. Sadness and grief were emotions she could understand. It took a strong character to admit he was wrong.

  The day had taken its toll on Sarah, and she was ready to return to the Lavery Hotel. She kissed the children goodbye, but Jane began to cry when she saw Sarah leave.

  "She's never done that with Lottie or me," Cecilia noted, "she's very attached to you."

  The next two days at the Edwards farm went without incident, mostly because Carson left Sarah alone with the children for the bulk of the day. Sarah wanted to be of more use and seeing that the windows needed cleaning, she set upon the task of house maintenance. Billy and Jane were learning Irish songs from Sarah which they would recite at night to their father when Sarah was gone. Carson was impressed by Sarah's closeness with the children. He was secretly hopeful that she would indeed decide to stay. However, he was cautious of frightening her again. Despite a lack of physical time spent together, he was aware of Sarah's influence.

  A home needed love and constant attention, just like people did. He knew he couldn't maintain the farm and the home on his own. And in the few weeks since Maggie's passing, it had certainly lacked love. Until Sarah showed up.

  Every morning, he had the fire going for Sarah's arrival, and she was learning how to bake and cook. Carson had missed the aroma of mealtime wafting to him as he returned home after a hard day's work.

  In the evening, with the children asleep, Carson would look around. Signs of Sarah's presence were visible to him, from the wildflowers on the windows to the freshness of the curtains and the smell of her cooking. It filled his heart with warmth to feel love again. The children were happy. The forlorn look was gone from their sweet little faces. It was a look he had noticed when he'd seen them with Lottie or Cecilia. They were so kind to the children, but he knew the children needed a mother of their own. Lottie and Cecilia were right. It was what Maggie would want. Someone who loved the children and whom the children loved too.