by Tey Holden
“Really? Lesbian mothers?”
“Yeah, that’s all I know. After she mentioned her mothers, I nearly hyperventilated. I don’t even know why!”
Megan broke up in laughter. “Well, maybe there is hope. Who knows? Maybe she is as gay as her mothers. I can only hope for you because it seems from what you say that you are in deep shit, sis. I have never heard you talk about someone like this. And I have to admit that even I thought she was gorgeous. Maybe she’s one of those ditzy blondes and as soon as you realize it, you’ll lose interest.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t think so. She’s not just gorgeous, I think she’s a force to be reckoned with. I don’t think I’ve ever come across such a combination of beauty and brains, which scares me also. She attracts everyone. You should have seen the server at the coffee shop when he brought the coffee, he was so fascinated with her, I thought he was going to sit with us to chat.” Blair’s tone made Megan laugh.
“You should have seen her. She didn’t lose control at any time. She’s amazing.” Blair closed her eyes and leaned back on the chair.
“You mean she didn’t have trouble breathing, or shaky hands?” Megan chuckled. “Sis, you look like a sad puppy.”
“Oh, shut up!” She hugged and kissed her sister and headed upstairs to her bedroom.
***
On Thursday evening, Blair arrived at the coffee shop early. She thought that by arriving ahead of the agreed time, she’d have the home field advantage and be much calmer when Alex arrived. She was wearing black jeans, a blue turtleneck, and a black leather jacket. She chose that color sweater because she knew it matched the color of her eyes. She too knew how to use her baby blues when she needed to. She was wearing low black leather boots and was sitting on her bike waiting. She wanted to impress Alex with her usual coolness. However, the coolness went to hell the minute the jade green BMW parked next to her Harley, and she saw the driver.
Alex was so fixated looking at Blair that she accidentally hit the curb of the sidewalk with the bottom part of the car and made an awful noise when she parked. When she heard the sound, she made a horror-face and immediately lowered her window. “I hit the curb, didn’t I?”
Blair chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t see any damage.” Then Blair almost fell when she dismounted her bike. She was so fixated on Alex that she miss-stepped. Shit! So much for the cool look! “Oops!”
“Be careful! Are you okay?” Blair nodded and brushed it off when she saw Alex smiling and waving her in. “Come on, get in.”
Blair skipped and went around to the passenger side. “This is a nice car.”
“Thanks.”
“The color matches your eyes.” Shit, I shouldn’t have said that! She was quick to change the subject. “Where are we going?”
Alex ignored the comment and looked at her. “Can I surprise you?”
Blair felt giddy. She couldn’t help smiling, while her eyes basked in the beauty sitting next to her. Alex exhilarated her. She could not find a single thing wrong with her. She pursed her lips and forced herself to look to the road ahead. She thought that Alex probably had that effect on everyone, and that she was another spider caught in her web. I’m in over my head here! She kept telling herself that there was nothing to hope for there and that this was just a pity date out of consideration to her mothers, and to make her feel better after the embarrassing moments at the coffee shop.
“Okay, surprise me.” She tried to sound cheerfully normal.
“Do you like Italian?”
“I love Italian food,” Blair replied.
Alex looked at her twice noticing the sudden cheery mood but didn’t give it much thought. A few minutes later, Alex pulled up at Milano’s, an intimate, family style restaurant. “I love it here. They make the best lasagna. They make it in individual casseroles, which is rare now because they usually make it in one big pan and then cut it in chunks. Call me silly, but I like my individual little casserole with lots of baked cheese over it. Anyway, they also make other good stuff. Everything they make is great. M’Addy loves it.” Shit! Would she ever be able to have a conversation and not talk about her mothers?
“Maddy?”
“One of my moms.”
Blair breathed a sigh of relief. For a brief moment she thought there might be someone else in Alex’s life. On the way to the restaurant, they talked about Alex’s car and the Harley. Blair really liked the car and couldn’t help showing her enthusiasm. She also seemed to know everything about it. Alex, for her part, had never met anyone who rode a motorcycle, much less a Harley and was thrilled hearing about it. “Maybe I can take you for a ride some time.”
“Maybe.” She did not doubt the possibility, but she also thought about having to survive Addy’s wrath, if she ever found out.
“We are here, come on, let’s go inside. The other thing I like about this place is that it’s private and we can talk. There’s no background noise. I hate some of these new restaurants that are so noisy you can’t hear the person across from you. You’ll see how nice it is. I’ll tell you all about my mothers. I want you to relax and enjoy the meal.” Why did I just say that? Why do I care how she feels?
Blair smiled. Alex was really nice. She never stopped talking and it seemed that everything she said was either nice or funny. The restaurant was not very crowded, and they seated themselves. Normally there would be more people, but it was a Thursday night and the crowd was light. It was your typical neighborhood old-fashion Italian restaurant with red and white table cloths, wine bottles hanging from the ceiling, and red curtains held to each side of the windows. The lights were dim and there was an oil lamp on each table. They sat in a booth by a window. It was cozy, secluded and in a strange way, it almost felt romantic.
Blair liked the fact that Alex had picked a small, traditional restaurant, where they could have a pleasant conversation. She even liked the fact that this was a place her family frequented, which to her in a way meant that Alex had not chosen a remote or unknown location to hide their meeting because she didn’t want to be seen with her. The waiter came to take the drinks order.
“I like wine with my dinner, how about you? Alex asked.
“I do too. I think a red would go well with lasagna, right?” Blair knew she was right but didn’t want to sound too authoritarian.
“Hey, just because I praised the lasagna, it doesn’t mean that you have to order it, you can have whatever you want.” Alex said in her usual sweet tone.
“You said the lasagna is good, and that’s what I’ll have.”
“So, two lasagnas?” The waiter asked.
Alex took over. “Yes. We’ll also have your bread sticks and two glasses of—.” She paused and asked. “Is Chianti okay with you?”
Blair smiled. She knew enough about wine to agree, but most of all she enjoyed how Alex took the lead. “Chianti is perfect, thanks.”
When the waiter left, they looked at each other and smiled. “You are not going to freak out again, are you?” Alex asked playfully.
“I’m trying not to. I have to redeem myself somehow by trying to be charming,” Blair replied.
“Well, so far you are succeeding.” Alex thought that a little encouragement might make Blair feel more relaxed.
Blair smiled and shyly looked away. Alex could hardly believe that the very confident woman at the bar was so sweet and shy now.
“Thank you, it’s nice of you to say that. Thanks also for the invite, and most especially for a second chance, and not shoving me off again. I’m usually not such a wreck, really. I don’t know what is wrong with me.”
“Well, thanks for the compliment. And like I said, Miss Reilley, you are quite charming yourself. I’m also sorry for shoving you off at the bar. I was rude, and I also lied. I was nervous. I’m rude when I’m nervous. You might have thought that I’ve been to a lot of gay bars, but that is not the case, it was actually my first time.” She admitted shyly, and her confession drew a sweet smile form Blair. “I only went b
ecause of Brooke. She needed a pick me up. Literally!” She laughed at her own comment, and so did Blair.
“So, you had never been to a gay bar?” Blair was surprised and a bit disappointed. She still held some hope.
“No, and not to too many regular bars either. I’m not the bar type.”
“So, no bars for you?”
“Unless I’m in a group. I don’t like the bar scene. It’s full of people looking for one-night stands. That’s not my style. I always get hit on, and I hate it.”
“You don’t like getting hit on?”
“No.”
“Most women would be flattered.”
Alex looked away. “Not me. I hate slobbering guys telling me I’m beautiful.”
Blair was seriously questioning her. “What part don’t you like? The slobbering guys, or them telling you that you are beautiful?”
“Both, don’t take this wrong, or think of me as conceited. I know it’s ridiculous, but I’ve been told that I’m beautiful since the day I was born, and I hate it. In fact, at home I’ve prohibited the term. And I hate slobbering guys too. They are either idiots, super-machos who think they can make any girl tip over, or the ones who think themselves too good and flatter themselves in an attempt to gain my attention.”
Blair smiled. “I guess when you know you are beautiful, you don’t need people telling you. I’ll make a note of that.” She then sort of panicked thinking that she should have kept her mouth shut because comments like that weren’t helping her cause, at least for now.
Alex again seemed to brush off the comment and smiled. “What about you? Do you get that kind of compliment a lot? You are pretty sexy yourself.” Shit! I can’t believe I said that!
Blair hardly knew what to say, feeling a bit caught off guard, but she smiled. She liked the fact that Alex found her sexy. She knew she never had difficulties attracting the ladies, but there was no need to bring that up now. “I keep to myself. I mind my own business and go about my life.” She became quiet.
“So, tell me about you. What’s your story? What is it that you do that keeps you busy on weekends?”
“Sometimes women get turned off when I tell them what I do. I have the feeling you won’t, but I’ll tell you the good with the bad.”
“Try me.”
“Okay, here it goes. I’ve just finished my medical internship in New York. I’m a doctor.”
Alex opened her eyes wide. Motorcycle chick is a doctor?
“Are you serious?”
Blair smiled when she saw Alex’s humongous, beautiful eyes so wide open. So beautiful! Blair continued. “If you doubt it, I’m in serious trouble. I’m now certain that I’ve been projecting the wrong image. Between the bar set up, and then showing up on a bike, didn’t help. I get it.” She pursed her lips and shook her head.
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Alex was looking for a way to fix her statement. “It’s just that you don’t look like my doctor. Sorry.” Alex shrugged in a cute way, which Blair loved.
“Yeah, I get that a lot. Not bald, or chubby, or with tiny eye glasses.” Alex’s laughter made Blair smile.
“What kind of medicine do you practice?”
She looked at Alex and pursed her lips. “Surgery with a sub-specialty in trauma.”
Again, the green eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. Blair thought her heart had stopped. Oh my God! Those eyes should be donated to science!
“A surgeon, trauma surgery?”
“Yeah, I cut people open, and sometimes put them together.” She chuckled. “I was on call the other night when I met you at the bar. There was an accident on the bridge, you might have heard about it on the news. There were several injured people, and they called me from the trauma center. When they call, I need to rush. Sometimes there isn’t much time. I didn’t want to leave without your phone number, but I had no alternative. I would have stayed and annoyed you half the night, if I hadn’t been called in. I’ll probably owe Megan for life for giving you my number.”
Alex couldn’t help smiling. “You seemed pretty sure you would have gotten it.”
“Yes, but only because you would have been trying to avoid further embarrassment, after I’d thrown myself at your feet and begged for it.”
Alex chuckled. “I could have given you a bad number to make you go away.” Blair remained quiet and studied her face not knowing how to rebut the probably true statement, but Alex broke the silence. “But, you actually did better than that, you had me call you.”
“A fortuitous event, I’m sure.” Blair replied timidly.
Miss. Blair Reilley, you are quite charming. You must have the girls crazy about you. “Why did you go to the States for med school, and what made you come back?”
“I went there because of a scholarship.” She pursed her lips.
“But you came back.”
“Yes, well, life kind of brought me back.”
Alex’s demeanor changed and Blair noticed. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, it’s just that the same thing happened to my mom, my biological mother. She always said that life brought her back to Scotland and that the only reason she left was to find the reason to come back.”
“What made her come back?”
“My other mom.”
“Is she from Scotland?”
“No, my moms’ story is wonderful, complicated and long. Maybe I will tell you some other time. But, she’s here because of my other mom, the non-biological one.”
Blair chuckled. “The one who is not from Scotland?” Some other time? Will there be another time? By now, Blair was feeling much more at ease with Alex.
“Yes, please, continue with your story.”
“I came back from the States because of Megan, my sister, the one at the bar. I live with her now. She recently lost her husband to cancer and has an adorable three-year-old son. His name is Pete.” Alex could tell she loved him from the way she smiled when she said his name.
“I volunteer to work weekends. It’s better pay, and since I don’t have a family, that leaves better hours for those who do. I also need the money to pay student loans from medical school, and to help Megan. Anyway, since I’m the new kid in town, they would have probably given me the shifts no one wants, so volunteering kind of looks good.” She paused and continued. “When Megan’s husband died, his insurance barely paid for the funeral. The woman who owns the bar, Pat, was my mother’s friend and she’s like an aunt to us. I don’t like Megan working there, but she needs the money. I go when I can to keep an eye on her. I usually go late, so that I can walk her out when the bar closes. When I’m not there, she has to wait for Pat to close.” Blair paused to take a sip of her wine. “I think I had already told you that, although I know you didn’t believe me then, but it is actually the truth. I don’t lie. Lies are complicated.” She took another sip of wine.
“When my mother passed away, I was still young. Pat kept an eye on me. Being a lesbian, she helped me a lot. The bar has a steady group of women who are regulars. Over the years, they saw me grow up, and they look out for me. That’s why everyone knows me there. They are always trying to hook me up with someone ‘nice’.” She chuckled. “You must have thought that I was some kind of Casanova, but it’s actually the opposite. I’m sort of a loner. I mean, I’m always working, and I don’t have time for much else. I will admit that occasionally I’ve left the bar with someone, but that doesn’t happen often, and even when it’s happened it’s been total disillusionment.”
Alex sat there listening unbelieving Blair’s story, and most of all that she was totally the opposite of what she had imagined ‘bike girl from the bar’ to be.
“Why?”
“Because, as you said, most of the women who go to a bar alone are looking for a quick hook-up, and although you may find this hard to believe, I have standards.”
Alex smiled and looked down to the table. “Why do you say that? Why would I think that you don’t have standards?”
At that moment the waiter came with their food. They waited until he left to continue their conversation.
“Because of the way I approached you at the bar the other night, and because of the bike thing and God knows what else. I keep thinking that I’ve given you the wrong impression since we met, and I think that’s part of the reason I get so nervous around you. I would like to change that impression, but I don’t know what to do to fix it.”
Alex smiled. She hardly knew what to say to so much sincerity. Sincerity and transparency were qualities she admired in people. Most people weren’t open. In fact, in her line of work, it was more common to find liars and deceitful people than sincere ones. “Okay, I will admit that at the bar I got a totally wrong impression of you. But like I said, I was nervous and was trying not to get myself into any trouble there.” She chuckled. “I guess I failed! Because in the most bizarre way, here we are!”
Blair opened her eyes wide. “See what I mean? Somehow you still think I’m trouble! How can I fix that?”
“Sorry. I guess that didn’t come out right. It’s not that you are trouble. It’s just that you are a lesbian, and I’m not, and the trouble part for me is that I don’t want to lead you into believing or expecting things that aren’t there. I mean, if you want to be friends with me that’s fine, just be yourself and don’t stress over things. Brooke and I have been friends since high school. I always think that if something is going to work out it will flow. Things cannot be forced. If you and I turn out to be great friends, the normal course of life will determine it.”
Yeah! But what if I want more? How will that flow here? “Well, look at it this way. There’s more to a person than their sexuality.” Blair paused. “The fact that I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean that I'm attracted to every woman I meet, and that I can’t have women friends. I mean, you are not attracted to every guy you meet, right? So, same thing here.”
“That's true. My moms have lots of friends.” Alex agreed.
Blair continued. “And about the people at the bar, well you are probably right in most cases. Some of the women there are looking for the casual thing, some do drugs and offer it, some drink excessively, and some look like my father.” She chuckled. “I don’t just want to hook-up with anyone. On the other hand, just because someone is pretty doesn’t mean that they are interesting. I’m not trying to win any brownie points here, but there is more to a person than beauty.” Blair’s statement made Alex smile. “So, in sum, that’s not what I’m looking for, and I’m not willing to settle.”
