by Tey Holden
Alex continued to smile still unbelieving that she was getting all of this in one scoop. Who is like this anymore? People are usually reserved and secretive, why isn’t she?
“What are you looking for?” Alex realized that she had asked a personal question and blushed. “I’m sorry, I—.”
“It’s okay to ask.” Blair sounded understanding. “It seems like I’ve been doing all the talking, though. You are going to have to take a turn at bat, you know?”
Alex nodded. “I will, I just want to know what—.” Here she was again, asking the same question. Why?
Blair didn’t let her finish. “I’m looking for the real thing, the forever thing.” She looked down at her hands. “I know it sounds stupid, but I am a romantic. Contrary to someone’s opinion, it’s not like I can’t find girlfriends.” They both smiled because she was addressing Alex's phone comment. “It’s just that I'm looking for someone special. I know she’s out there somewhere waiting for me, and I will not rest, or settle, until I find her. That’s why I don't have a girlfriend. Nothing’s worked out for me yet.” She almost said that she hadn’t found her yet, but she was not certain that would be a true statement at the moment. She felt the strange sensation that the green eyes focused on her were sending a subliminal message and heart filled with hope. “How long have your moms been together, by the way?”
“Some thirty years.”
“Wow! See what I mean? That’s what I’m talking about. The forever thing is possible, hearing that gives me hope. That has got to be love. They must be great.” Blair smiled, and her dimples appeared again.
“Yes, they are pretty awesome.” Alex was thoughtful for a minute realizing the enormity of her moms’ love.
“So, I’ve pretty much told you my life’s story. Now it is your turn. What do you do that allows you to afford your ride?”
“People are sometimes turned off when they hear what I do, as well.” She chuckled.
“Oh no! Don’t tell me you are also a doctor? Please, don’t!” Blair grinned, but her anxiety peaked.
Alex chuckled. “No, worse. I’m a corporate attorney.”
Blair smiled pleasantly surprised. “Why do you think that’s worse?”
“Because nobody likes lawyers.”
“You do, you went to law school.”
“Yeah, I wanted to follow in my moms’ footsteps. They are both lawyers. I also wanted to defend the poor and save the world. Instead, I’m working with million-dollar companies trying to help them keep their money and make more. I’m just starting as well. So, I understand getting all the nasty assignments nobody wants including all the travel no one wants to do. None of the attorneys with families want to travel, so they send me. I’ve traveled a lot all my life with my mothers, so I’m pretty much a globetrotter. I also speak three languages so that comes in handy. But I don’t know if I want to do this forever.”
“Three languages, nice! Well, you don’t have to do the same thing forever. Maybe later on you can switch and do what you really want to do. For now, I have to say that I’m impressed. I knew you had brains. I knew it from the moment I saw you. The look you gave me at the bar said it all. That’s why I left so disappointed when I couldn’t get your number. So, let me ask you, . . . I don’t even know where to begin!” Blair felt excited looking at the brilliant and beautiful woman sitting across from her.
“Thank you. I appreciate your comment. Everyone’s first impression of me is that I’m a ditzy blonde. You are pretty impressive yourself. Never thought that a girl on a Harley would be a doctor. What is it that you would like to ask me?”
“How much time do you have?” Alex smiled. “Okay, for starters, what is it that you really want to do with your career? And what languages do you speak.”
Alex chuckled. “I speak, Spanish and French besides English, of course. And I’m not really sure what it is that I would like to do yet, but whatever it is, it has to do with helping people.”
Blair laid her face on her hand and just stared at her. “About the ditzy blonde thing, I bet you use that to your advantage and prove them wrong the minute you can.” Blair chuckled.
“Looks like you’ve figured me out!”
Blair laughed out loud, and her dimples showed again. “That’s what you’ll have me think, counselor, I’m not that easily persuaded.”
Alex smiled, but said nothing. She just stared at the sweet, attractive face with the cutest dimples she had ever seen sitting across from her.
“About the Harley—.” Blair smiled when Alex grinned. She was trying hard to change Alex’s impression of her. “I bought it from one of the older doctors at the hospital. It was not my first choice of transportation, but it uses less petrol than a car, and it’s easy to park. I also got it at a good price. It’s a matter of convenience more than preference.”
Alex was fascinated listening. “You’ve barely touched your lasagna,” Alex commented.
“As good as it is, the conversation has been much better. I don’t see that you’ve done much with yours either.” Blair pointed to Alex’s lasagna with her fork.
Alex looked down to her plate. “Ms. Blair, looks like I’m an easy target for you.”
I wish! Blair smiled and began to eat. The conversation went on, even after they had finished with coffee and dessert. In fact, they were the last ones to leave the restaurant. The place was ready to close when they left. As they walked to the car, they continued to talk. “I have one more question,” Blair said.
“Okay, what is it?”
“You said I intrigue you? Why?”
Alex chuckled. “Because you didn’t turn out to be as I expected.”
“What were you expecting, and how has that changed?”
“At the bar, you seemed cocky and pretty sure of yourself. I got the impression that you were playing me to see how far you could go with me. Then at the coffee shop you seemed different. First, you show up all nervous because you think you are late when you are not, and second you nearly choked when you heard about my mothers. That last behavior did not match the one at the bar, so I thought that I needed to know more about you to form a better opinion, and that is why I invited you to dinner.”
Blair smiled, content with Alex’s answer. “Well, I’m kind of cocky sometimes and definitely pretty sure of myself most of the times, but I am a genuinely honest and sincere person. I really don’t know how I could have projected something other than what I am. I think that meeting at the bar was the problem.”
At this point, they had already left the restaurant and were back where the car was parked. “Want to drive?” Alex asked wanting to change the subject.
“You bet!” Her excitement with Alex’s car was evident. Blair started the car and drove back to the coffee shop where her Harley was parked. Once there, they both got out of the car, and Alex walked over to the driver’s side and Blair gave her the key. Neither knew what to say or what to expect from the other. Blair broke the awkward silence. “Thanks for the invite. I had a great time.” All she could think at the moment was what to say to make Alex want to see her again. The thought of not seeing Alex again was upsetting.
“So, did I.” Alex replied with mixed feelings. Blair was certainly a wonderful person, and she had thoroughly enjoyed her company, but she was also a lesbian, and Alex was afraid to send the wrong signals. She thought of ways to prolong the conversation, but it seemed that the end of their meeting was inevitable.
Seeing that Alex had genuinely enjoyed the evening as well, Blair decided to take her chance. She knew that the friend route was going to be the better route, and that if there was to be anything else, it would take time to develop. “I would like to reciprocate and invite you to dinner sometime, but I’m almost afraid to ask.” She paused and looked down. “I don’t want you to misinterpret my intention thinking that I’m looking for anything other than friendship.” So, she came out clean. “I’m a lesbian, and you are not. I’m pretty clear on that. I don’t know many interesting people w
ith whom I can hold an intelligent conversation, that’s why I would like to meet with you again, if it’s okay with you.”
The unexpected sincerity totally threw Alex off. “Blair, I think that you are a great person, but I don’t want to mislead you. If I accept, it’s as a friend.” Although she felt an inexplicable excitement about meeting Blair again, Alex also wanted to clear the air.
“Good, that’s just great. I’ll call you.” Alex got in the car and closed the door. Then Blair knocked on the window. Alex, reluctantly, lowered it, almost afraid that Blair would ruin everything by attempting to kiss her goodbye. If such a thing were to happen, she’d have to call everything off immediately.
Blair bent forward and brought her face close to Alex. “I’ve just realized that I don’t have your number. It must be a private number because it didn’t show when you called.”
Alex breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, let me give you one of my business cards, and I’ll write it on the back.” As Alex wrote the number, Blair took in the scent of her perfume and scrutinized her closely. God, she’s beautiful, and what is that perfume?
When Alex looked up, she came face to face with the deep blue eyes pinned on her and felt overtaken with the intensity of the stare. Her eyes searched the face in front of her, much like Karen did when she was nervous. Her scrutiny was returned with the same eagerness. “Here,” she handed over the card to Blair and looked away unable to hold her gaze any longer, “call me when you are off, and we’ll get together.” She almost said soon, but held back realizing that it could be misinterpreted.
“I will. Please, drive safely.”
“Good night.” Alex didn’t look back. She felt like she needed to leave and fast. She felt an anxiety she couldn’t explain and wanted to make it home and collapse on her bed.
Blair waved goodbye and waited until the BMW disappeared down the street. She looked at the business card and read it out loud. “Alexandra Marcos Larsen, Barrister.” She sat on the Harley for a few seconds reminiscing on the evening’s events and thinking about the green eyes and the smile that had taken her to the ninth cloud.
After their dinner-date, Blair went straight to the hospital and worked the late-night shift. She was also working a second shift that day and decided that it was not worth it going home to come back only a few hours later. Instead, she took a shower and got a few hours of sleep in the medical personnel sleeping quarters. The bed was small, but after being on her feet for so many hours, she could almost sleep standing up.
Finally having a few minutes to herself, her mind went again to the time spent with Alex and their conversation. She couldn’t get Alex’s eyes out of her mind. I can just imagine waking up to those eyes every morning for the rest of my life. I have to stop this nonsense! There’s nothing there! She picked up her phone feeling the urge to call her but didn’t. What was the point? She needed time to think.
***
Alex, for her part, made it to her flat that night in a state of mental turmoil. It had been years, if ever, since she had been out with someone who had captivated her like Blair had. She had not only enjoyed the entire evening but was also strangely fascinated with Blair’s recounts.
It seemed as if the night had passed in a matter of seconds, and that there had been barely any time to even begin to get to know her. It was as if there was no end to the things she wanted to know about her. She also thought that Blair was a remarkable person having put herself through school and now helping her sister.
She sat on the sofa trying to relate this fascination to something known, but she couldn’t. It was obvious that Blair had an effect on her, but what was it? What made Blair so intriguing and different? Then she thought of what Blair had said about looking for a forever type of love, like the one her moms had. Wasn’t that what she also wanted?
She decided not to think about Blair anymore and to go to sleep. The problem was that the blue eyes and the accompanying dimples were not easy to forget. She even thought about calling the moms to tell them about the experience, but decided against it, if for nothing else but to keep her sanity. Once the moms got involved, only God knew what could happen,
She woke up resolved that she would not call home. There was, really, nothing to tell. She thought that if Blair didn’t call again that would be the end of the whole matter. After all, Blair might realize that there was nothing to be gained from their relationship other than friendship, and if that was not what she was looking for, she might never call again. She decided, for sure, that she would not be the one to make the next move. Unless Blair called, nothing would happen, and all of this would be history soon. She showered, got dressed, had her morning yogurt with granola and coffee and went off to work. She couldn’t explain her apparently perennial smile, or why she couldn’t remove the blue eyes and the dimples from her mind.
***
When Blair arrived home the following day, Megan was in the living room with Pete. “How did it go?”
Blair slumped on the recliner and sighed. “Unfortunately, too well.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I’ve broken the number one rule in the lesbian rule-book, I’ve fallen for a straight girl.”
“Just like that, huh?”
“Just like that!” She pursed her lips. “She’s out of this world, Megan. It’s as if I had dreamed her, and someone had designed her for me.”
“I guess you are in trouble. Come here!” She hugged her sister. “Maybe you are just infatuated. I’ll admit, she is beautiful, though. Tell me, what is so great about her besides her beauty?”
“She’s a corporate attorney, a super smart professional woman, and she’s fun and sweet. She’s the whole package, Megan.”
“Are you seeing her again?”
“I said I’d call her, but I don’t know if I should.”
“Do you want to?”
“Oh, I want to! I’d call her right now, but what for? Did you miss the part where I said she’s straight?”
“Well, I really don’t know what to tell you. I think if I were you, I’d call her. See where things go. You never know. You are quite a catch, sis, don’t underestimate yourself. I’ve seen the damage those blue eyes can do. Who knows, maybe she is not as straight as she thinks she is! And you being a doctor who rides a Harley ought to get you some points,” Megan kidded her.
Blair chuckled. “My blue eyes? Have you seen her green lanterns? I have never seen eyes like that in my life! Not to mention her smile. I tell you, I have trouble looking at her. She mesmerizes me.” Blair closed her eyes and then looked to the ceiling and sighed. “She’s also fun, easy going, talks endlessly just about anything, gets along with people, and loves to eat, even fatty stuff! Can you believe that? We had lasagna with breadsticks and then we had dessert, and she ate it all! I couldn’t even believe it when she ordered dessert.” Blair laughed. “I cannot find a single thing wrong with her. Except that she’s not gay, of course. Never mind, sis! I’m dreaming here. Going to bed. I’ll try and catch some sleep.” She kissed her sister and went to bed.
“Aww sweetie, don’t give up so easily. Have faith!” She heard Megan’s voice as she went down the hallway.
***
Blair worked nonstop that weekend trying to get her mind off the only subject that wanted to occupy it. The vision of the, now materialized, perfect woman, was both pleasure and torment. By Monday, she had given up, realizing that she couldn’t fight her feelings anymore. Unable to hold back, she called Alex and got her voicemail. Thank God!
“Hey it’s Blair, I,” her voice was hesitant, “just wanted to say hello, see how you were doing, and I was wondering if you like football. One of our doctors at the hospital has season’s tickets to the university’s football team and he offered tickets for a game. It’s in three weeks, I happen to be free that Saturday and, well, I was wondering if you’d like to go. The game is at two in the afternoon, so I thought we could also grab a bite before or after. Of course, if you don’t like
football, or if you don’t have time for everything we could just eat, I really don’t care. It would be up to you. Whatever you can fit into your schedule is fine with me. Of course, you might not even be in town, since you said you travel a lot. Well, I have to go now. You can call me back, or maybe I’ll call you back, if I don’t hear from you. Bye, I hope you are having a good day.” Oh my God, I sound like an idiot babbling on the phone!
Alex was in a meeting and had her phone on silent, but because the phone was on the table next to her notepad, she saw the call come in and smiled when she saw the caller’s number. She had been hoping that Blair would call and had been checking her phone for the past few days. Her experience was that anyone she had ever gone out with would always call the following day. When the call didn’t come during the weekend, she felt disappointed. Then she thought that maybe it was best that way. If Blair disappeared from her life, it was one less thing she would have to worry about. She also thought that perhaps Blair realized that cutting all ties was the best thing to do, if she had feelings for her other than friendship.
She continued to look at the phone hoping that the call would go to voicemail. She smiled when she saw the banner on the voicemail icon. One hour later, when the meeting broke, she went to her office to listen to the message. She played the message twice. She loved the sound of Blair’s voice and even more that she sounded nervous and hesitant. She had to go back to the meeting and couldn’t call now but thought that she could send a quick text. She wasn’t sure Blair could retrieve texts on her phone, but it was all she could do for now. She was inexplicably exhilarated and nervous about how she felt. This was strange and new.
